Exclamation point, Summer Edition
A couple days ago I got this very funny email from a reader, Laureen:
I'm not one for commenting on posts but I just had to ask. . .how is it that the husband of the daughter of the Avon World Sales Leader may have the West Nile Virus? Don't you have enough Skin So Soft at your disposal to kill a small horse, let alone repel one renegade mosquito?
Good point! Turns out Jon doesn't have West Nile, according to the blood tests. Whew, right? AT LEAST THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN EXPLANATION. He has been in bed for seven days now, has had a constant migraine headache, backache, fever, and chills. And yet, YET! There is indeed a yet! The man cannot stop groping me. He is so sick that he can't stand up for 20 seconds without needing to barf, but he can summon the strength to grab my butt inappropriately. If he dies before I do, I can guarantee that while I'm saying my goodbyes over his coffin he will reach up his embalmed arms and squeeze my boobs.
It's been a long, tough week, and I thought it might be time to feature another hand-picked selection of some of the world's most condescending hatemail. Because there's nothing quite as fun as going back to read the email equivalent of hammering nails into your forehead.
Let's start with this one from Anonymous Chicken Liver:
Jon needs to get a real job again, and you need to be a real mom and raise your child without letting Jon and the babysitter, and family do it. do you even know how to, most importantly do you want to? You know you have NO idea what it means to be a stay home full time mommy. you've had so much help and people step in when you failed you missed so much of what your daughter had to give.
Maybe the reason people told you to quit whining is, It's all all YOU. You need meds for this, you're a loon, and you go to the physo ward, you blah, blah, blah. You know you have so many people kiss your ass you wouldn't know how to live without that kind of praise. If these people heard an everyday mother say how she couldn't wait for the next ten minutes to be over, how her own child drove her nuts and she didn't want to be around her. they would think horrible mean things about you. But because of blog celebrity they kiss your ass and hope you'll come to their blog. You have Cancer and it's sucks, my mother is 62 with four children and 11 grandchildren and she had Lung Cancer--she loves and raised us without my father who worked full time, without the help of others. She hasn't even shared it beyond the walls of our home. You need and want the sympathy. Good god, Heather grow the fuck up already.
Don't have more children; poor Leta is trying to figure out who's the mommy, Jon or the babysitter. Get another dog, they only live for about 15 years and wont pass along on things you've done to them to screw them up.
Oh, HI! Sorry. I fell asleep after the first paragraph. Nothing quite as thrilling as a long-winded hatemailer. They are so much more fun to read when brief and full of eye-catching punctuation. Like this one from Ronald:
You dog is STUPID!!!!!!!
That's a thoughtful critique, Ronald. The only adequate response to this would be: So is you mom!!!!!!!
Next up is one from Mia, a repeat hatemailer:
I mean really, do you have anything better to do with YOUR life than write about your dog licking plates and your husbands shoes? While I understand that cancer is scary (I'm 24 and had to have an ovary and a tumor the size of a grapefruit ON IT removed), you really cannot be suprised that people are a little put off by your tiny bit of "over drama" about a spot of skin cancer. I just think it's silly that you are saying others have no life, when your life is (other than family, which we all have) writing a blog. Look at things from someone else's point of view.
My only question is, why did she capitalize ON IT? Was that really necessary? The next time I want to scare the shit out of Jon I'm going to sneak up behind him while he's changing clothes, poke my finger in his butt and say, "Grapefruit ON IT!"
This next one is from CB, also a repeat hatemailer:
Stop playing the cancer card, Heather. It was okay in that first long post about it. But how stupid of you to mention it in the same sentence as your husband's clogs. You have no idea what it's like to really have cancer. Your bump on your arm could be serious, but chances are it's not. You're going too far for the sake of having something interesting to say. Shameful, Heather.
Where have I heard that before? Shameful, shameful... let me see... oh, I remember! IN THE LAST 75 EMAILS SHE HAS SENT ME.
Here's one from Tara:
You are not different then anyone else.
Maybe you doing better because you have a caring husband and a fruitful life style.
Why are you asking for money for doing what you do?
Why can't I learn from your doings?KIND REGARDS "' In sarcastic voice to myself"
Something tells me Tara doesn't speak English as a first language.
This next one has to be one of my favorite hatemails ever, from Janet:
How dare you encourage people to help treat stress in their live with a desert? Do you not see how this is how America gets fat? They eat to make themselve feel better, and they gain wait. It's not healthy, not at all.
I assume she's referring to this post. I see a masthead in my near future: dooce, leading cause of obesity in America.
Or how about one from repeat hatemailer, Robert:
Have you ever thought about renaming your site to AllAboutLeta.com? At least that would be a more accurate reflection of the subject matter of your web site. I check in, once in a blue moon, to see if you have written anything that would be interesting to someone who isn't raising a two year old. Your universe seems very, very small.
Once in awhile, you should just climb out of that rut and write about things beyond Leta, your perfect mom, the degenerate Mormons, and the like. There is a big world out here.
As an American I have a God-given right to believe that the world doesn't extend beyond my living room. That goes hand-in-hand with my right to buy a semi-automatic gun on sale at Wal-Mart.
This next one is from Bill:
If I have to see another “Mom says something witty to their kid†journal, I’ll probably hit myself in the stomach until I vomit my Capri Sun and ranch-flavored rice cakes all over my monitor.
Hookers are a dime a dozen, but mommy attention whore sites are a penny a truck load. You could do the world a favor and delete your site to make room for more interesting mommy blogs such as: www.ibeatmykidswithaspoon.com or www.trainingmykidsforslavelabor.net or even www.whogivesashitaboutmykidsexceptme.cc. It might sound horrible, but much like the body of a motorcyclist wrapped around a telephone pole after he hit it at 90MPH, you just can’t help but stop and appreciate it.
In closing, please get off the Internet.
I was thinking more along the lines of www.BillNeedsAGoodOneUpThePooper.net.
Reader, Brooklyn, has some burning complaints:
I previously delighted in reading your blog for your motherhood opinions and discussions of real issues, but now it's like who gives a fuck about the fact that boo hoo you have to have your sewer line replaced....please find the life you once had that had a more global outlook. I now check in occasionally to see your photos, which for the most part I believe are interesting photos taken by a talented woman. Please make an effort to make your writing the same. Oh, and for fucks sake, please move on...Chuck Fridays are miserably old...find a new theme. Perhaps you find your dog infinitely interesting, but the rest of us would like to see more photos that extend past your home and backyard.
Brooklyn, just for you, here is a picture of my dog in my backyard:
And another one from Mia:
Your site is boring now. You used to have so much to talk about, but in recent months, that has obviously dwindled. If you were writing this blog PURELY for yourself, you could say "Screw you, it's for me". But with the 272937 ads on the page, it's easy to see it's a site you're using to make money. So please, do something for your audience, and write something a bit more thought provoking than how much your dog likes pizza and how you feed your child mostly chocolate. I suspect the reason people continue to visit dooce.com is to see if MAYBE you've gone back to your old self. Just like no one cares about a wedding except for the bride, no one cares about a kid, unless it's theirs.
Whoa, wait a minute. Almost three hundred thousand ad units? I need to talk to my ad network. You're only supposed to see a couple of graphic ads! Try emptying your cache, Mia. Or maybe? Maybe you should get up slowly and walk away from your computer. Into the loving arms of oncoming traffic.
Watch Heather discuss her feelings about vaccinations on this episode of Momversation.
1. Grace D said:
Man, that was some hot throbbing hate email action. I think I'll have a cigarette. And I don't even smoke.
2. RS said:
Dear Hate Mailers:
All you've proven is the pathos of your unfulfilling lives. If you hate Dooce, go read something else.
Best regards,
Nobody Cares About You
3. Darlin' said:
"How dare you encourage people to help treat stress in their live with a desert? Do you not see how this is how America gets fat?"
Yeah! Everyone knows deserts make people fat. All that sand and cactus make me bloat and eat cake. We need to ban deserts in our schools- I don't want my kid catchin' any fattness that is going around.
4. CrankMama said:
Wow! These ARE hateful. The bad juju just hops off the page. I need a shower. You are lovely... and they are gross cancerous grapefruits!
5. MommyofOne said:
Good grief. So don't read this website if you don't like what Heather has to say. How hard is that?
I dig your blog Heather. Love your writing style, love your candor, love it. Thank you for continuing to write despite what the bastards say.
I hope Jon feels better very very soon.
6. Lolajb said:
What I find more scary (if that is at all possible!) than the fact that these people have so much anger towards someone they've never met, is the fact that they would take the time to write to you and tell you about it!!!
I THOROUGHLY enjoy Dooce.com and visit it everyday but there are lots of sites I don't visit because I DON'T LIKE THEM!! So I suggest these people do the same.
ugh.
Heather, ignore these ass hats and carry on.
These people are the reason that the world is in such a hateful and precarious state right now.
p.s. like my emphatic use of CAPS? I felt they were warranted here. :-)
7. ourfinestyear said:
You seriously get hate mail like this? My question is, whyyyyy why why visit a site if all you're going to do is complain about it? Honestly, some people are idiots. I love your blog, and I wouldn't rather read about anything else other than Chuck, Leta, and Jon's Clogs.
8. Chookooloonks said:
Funny, I always treat stress in my life with a desert. I like the Sahara, usually, but sometimes the Gobi does the trick.
9. wendyboswell said:
Heather is much more gentle than I would've been. I believe that there are two words that sum up my reaction to all these poo poo heads:
"Bite Me.
Oh, and P.S., you hate-mongering asshat - thanks for reading! You just drove up my CPM and paid for my dog to have his own sauna!"
10. Karen Rani said:
Oh Grace, thanks for reminding me I quit 4 days ago. Fuck. (I love you Grace - but still....you're killing me)
Heather - those emails are shameful. Shameful shameful shameful. Some people's kids.
The Heather-Hate-Train needs to crash. With all these people ON IT.
11. Amy Mingo said:
I can't believe people take the time to send you emails telling you what or what not to write on your own site. Sheesh! The nerve.
12. Karen Rani said:
Oh and I almost forgot: I hope Clog-Boy feels better. Stat.
13. Kim E said:
I find it interesting that the urge to write hate mail to strangers on the internet is in direct relation to the inability to spell and/or form clear sentences with proper grammar and punctuation.
14. Miss Pants said:
Jesus Christ, people are ASSHOLES. They wouldn't continue to shovel food into their mouth's they didn't like so why do they continue to read content that offends them?
15. Carol said:
Wow. Idiots. You have to pity them in a way -- I mean, they are so utterly pathetic. They could choose to not do the obvious (visit Dooce.com) but instead they must make their vile little lives better by treating a perfect stranger like dirt. Great virtue to have. Hope they're proud.
16. JennyRebecca said:
I LOVE YOUR BLOG!
What on earth kind of lives are these people leading who send you hatemail and then *keep reading your blog*!?!?! I assume someone is forcing them at gunpoint to continue to check in every day? That must be it.
And you know, the only reason I'm commenting is 'cause I really, really, really, really, really want you to visit MY blog! Bwaahahahahahahahaha!!!!
17. scargosun said:
It totally cracks me up that people are this angry about a blog. It is also VERY funny that someone would mention that talking about everyday stuff (child, dog, sewer) is somehow boring or not useful. I don't get it. I get something useful out of just about every post.
1. Don't flush a towel down the sewer
2. If a towel does get flushed, have the sewer work done while on vaca.
3. It's ok to love your child but not be crazy about other people's kids.
4. Threadless tees
5. YouTube
I could go on but I think I might offend the hate mailers. ;)
18. Torrie said:
I definitely think that your PERSONAL blog's content should revolve around what the readers want.
Oh, and when a life altering thing like, oh I don't know, having a child, or being diagnosed with skin cancer happens, you should definitely NOT write about it.
You are here for our entertainment.
DANCE WOMAN! DANCE!
19. lindsayc said:
Holy moly. I can't believe that so many people would take the time to write you hate mail! I love your writing, you have a unique voice that I really enjoy. Just wanted to spread some love around to counter act the hate.
20. ealasaid said:
Hey Heather,
I have been peeking in here and there for about 3 months now, and I don't find you boring at all. I am a recovered Catholic, and have recovering Morman friends, I am also raising a 18 month old- so I find your site refreshing and honest. Thank you.
I dont understand where all the hate is coming from. I bet they get road rage something fierce.
21. Dogmom said:
Great post today, Heather. Personally I would miss Chuck Fridays terribly if you changed it, and I so enjoy your perspective on raising kids and sick husbands and sewers and everything else. Along with the newspapers I read and the novels and the TV shows and the people in my life... your blog adds dimension and perspective and humor to my life. And, hatemailers, you know what? If this site bores you and pushes your so-near-the surface buttons, DON'T READ IT! Go to paininthebutt.com or peddle your crap somewhere else. My God, who cares what you think.
22. NellaBella said:
Dear Heather,
I just wanted you to know that I think it is absolutely shamefully disgusting that you have done this to me! I like quirky wife-humor on Fridays and hatemail on Wednesdays. Filthy slut.
I don't understand why you feel justified in not fulfilling my requests- I mean I stumbled upon YOUR blog, which I assume you started for your own amusement. Simply because so many people came to see what was so great about you and stayed doesn't mean you get to put ads on your site! Don't you realize that the moment I got here it became about my preferences? I don't care that you've grown and your life is different than it was a while back- you are my entertainment and entertainment is supposed to be static.
Now get back to being depressed and the lone adult in the house so I can see some real humor- BITCH!
23. Annagrace said:
Exactly. If you don't like it, don't read it. My next-door neighbors can be irritating but I don't further my frustration by hiding in their bushes and peering in their windows... And why tell someone to get off the internet? If it's so hide-chapping to know that people you don't necessarily like exist, then how much medication do YOU need to be on, people?
24. Brin said:
I'm so sickened by these silly, small people that *I* can barely finish *my* delicious Capri Sun and ranch flavoured rice cakes. Wait, is it 1993?
Ms. Armstrong, you are a delight. And for the record, I'll argue that Chuck should have his own blog.
Halifax loves dooce!
25. kirgrowl said:
Hi Heather,
To all the hatemailers, esp. Mia. I didn't start reading your blog until about a year ago. After LA, after Jon, after Leta being born and after your PPD. And I loved it and I love it still. And I am only 22 with no kids and living NY with minimal contact with Mormons. So regardless that I don't fit into what others would call, your mothers only "demographic", your writing still gets a great response from me. Its nice to see someone enjoying life with her husband, their child and their family and I only hope I get to have as fruitful a life someday. :-D
26. Melanie said:
dang homey.
27. Adriane said:
You are awesome. I stubbled on your site through someone else's favorite sites and just about everyday while at work (shhhhh!) I read up a little! Let me tell you, you are a normal mother (not really but humor me) you love you child. Jeez people leave her alone. Your life is your life and you just so happen to share it if they dont want to read it DONT READ IT. Dont visit. These are the people when they turn 60 that are in the grocery store and sit there and dont understand why they cant buy all 50 items in the express lane and throw a fit because it stupid. They will be those unhappy old people that scream at children and so forth. Oh yea skin so soft....totally doesnt work for mosquitos my son is so allergic to them and he went with my mother and she refuses to use anything but skin so soft and well lets just say he got a bite on his face (this was years ago) and ended up at the hospital because he looked like elephant boy!
28. Nancy said:
The hate-mailers, I think they're jealous. You have a good husband, beautiful daughter, fun extended family and your blog is entertaining. My 12 yr old daughter and I adore Leta and Chuck. Although I thought of you instantly the other day when we were school shopping and came across a shirt that said "I don't care about your blog." Not that I don't care about your blog, the shirt was just funny.
29. mossage said:
Sorry to hear Jon isn't feeling well... keep us updated please on what happens.
30. Jbanana39 said:
The hate letter that ticked me off was where Tara said, "You are not different then anyone else." (I won't comment on spelling error)
Isn't that why we all love Dooce? It's because she's just like us in all the ways that matter. Her individuality is nice too, but it's the way we see ourselves in her posts that make this site great. Pure honesty combined with humor. Gotta love it.
31. jaime said:
People are crazy motherfuckers. I'm 23, I live in a city - no husband, no baby, no backyard, no sewar line - and at least half of the blogs I read are by parents. Baby pictures make my day. And honestly, I know this sounds crazy, but there's actually stuff to learn from what you write. I actually feel like I'm better equipped to be a parent some day because I'm reading smart, honest (read: scarcastic) people writing about their lives. But then I also just like that you're mean. In the best possible way.
32. AW said:
Dooce, you're brillant!
33. Dogmom said:
All right, NellaBella! If I had a sense of humor, I would have said just what you said! Heather is such a filthy-slut-bitch. How dare she write on her very own site what interests HER!!!!! Man, if I could go to absolutely any website in the world, it wouldn't be hers. She bores me so that I have to check in several times a day every day just to see if she's written something that DOESN'T bore me. Sheesh. And my dog's much cuter than hers.
34. lap said:
You know what though? Justin Timberlake loves you- especially whenever you post a movie starring Chuck! Oh wait. That's me. My kids are also huge Leta fans although they think of her as "cutiebloggirl". No wait. That's Cameron Diaz. Oh bother.
35. NuttyDutty said:
My new favorite line, "Into the loving arms of oncoming traffic."
I vow that all loyal Dooce readers use this phrase at least once in the next 5 days!
36. nightingaleshiraz said:
these are -- as always -- fabulous.
you know, you need to create a spin-off Dooce-Mail site, and just post these, and then let everybody go nuts on them -- in either direction, i.e. - "if you don't like Heather stop reading her" VS "stop making America fat you self-absorbed making-fun-of-cancer sellout".
it'll be great. (it'll also be "BLOGGING MEETS REALITY TV!!!" ...or "WEB 2.0 MEETS JERRY SPRINGER!!!")
and just think how much you'd make on ads.
37. Mrs Ca said:
The best thing about all these? If they really don't like it? They should stop visiting your site. How boring must their lives be that this is what they choose to spend their time on, since they admittedly don't like your site? Sheesh!
38. Kahli said:
Tee hee.
You are the best retort-er EVER.
I think the evolution has been gorgeous. The haters are just that...if you don't like the blog DON'T READ IT christ.
Again, as always, thanks for sharing your life. It helps people out. Promise.
xo
knn
39. Abra Cat said:
And yet, they keep on reading... Oh, and Bill, if you're still out there (and of course you are)-- where can I buy ranch-flavored rice cakes? My kids would be all over them.
40. leaseuhd said:
I think the craziest suggestion by these numb-nuts - "Chuck Fridays are miserably old…find a new theme." -is absolutely ridiculous. What would we do without Chuck Friday's?
And I am always amazed by people who read things just to gripe about it, just as i am astounded by people who try to censor things they haven't read or seen themselves.
Keep writing about your life, Heather, it helps some of us get a better handle on our own.
41. Chantel said:
My Mother wasn't wise but one of the best things she ever said to me was, "fuck em if they can't take a joke."
It has served me well, feel free to use it whenever you get one of these emails.
Good god people, put your energy into something useful.
42. aubriane said:
How wonderfully amusing that so many hate-mailers are so mentally deficient.
Maybe that says something.
Now I can say "grapefruit ON IT... of FRANCE!!!!"
Keep writing about Chuck, Leta, and food; deserts shouldn't be the only thing in my live.
43. brandy said:
As my mom would say "they're just jealous cos your prettier than they are."
Which is a given being who your mom is.
44. Carabnz said:
I love it when you post your hatemail. Really, this is the most important thing these people will do today, blast your perfectly cool website for being honest and real. Oh, and by the way...MY cancer is more cancerous than YOUR cancer.
45. Chantel said:
My Mother wasn't wise but one of the best things she ever said to me was, "fuck em if they can't take a joke."
It has served me well, feel free to use it whenever you get one of these emails.
Good god people, put your energy into something useful.
46. leaseuhd said:
I think the craziest suggestion by these numb-nuts - "Chuck Fridays are miserably old…find a new theme." -is absolutely ridiculous. What would we do without Chuck Friday's?
And I am always amazed by people who read things just to gripe about it, just as i am astounded by people who try to censor things they haven't read or seen themselves.
Keep writing about your life, Heather, it helps some of us get a better handle on our own.
47. Lori said:
Wow! I'm a supporter too. I love your blog and think you are a great writer and a great mom too! It amazes me that the hate-mailers really think they are going to make a difference. I'm sorry they have such miserable lives. Keep up the great work and never stop writing about your life. Leta is going to treasure all this one day!
48. turbulentflow said:
Wow, it really is incredible to see how opinionated people can be about someone else's life. If they know so much about what makes a good blog, why don't they just go do it themselves instead of complaining that you are somehow not doing it right.
Of course, now that you've revealed their small mindedness I'm sure they will just send you more hateful emails about how you went looking for sympathy... you just can't win with people like that.
I love your site - it's as popular as it is for a reason. Keep up the good work.
49. cinlouhoo said:
Seriously.
I have the same response when I read these that I have when I watch the Dateline Investigations reports about online jack noses that think they're meeting up with a 13 year old name Mindy and instead they're met with a room of cameras and the reporter with funny hair.
I. Can't. Believe. There. Are. People. Actually. Like. This. In. The. World.
Call me stupid. But I honestly have a hard time believing these people actually exist. I can't swallow that there are humans walking this earth that are that disgusting, evil, fucked-up, and just plain clueless.
Fuck'em. And thank you. As much hate as you get thrown at you - I hope you feel thousands of times more love and respect.
Keep going. Keep doing. Keep making fun of them.
(And p.s. a big thank you to 2 of the other commenters for my new favorite word - Ass Hat.)
50. Lori said:
Wow! I'm a supporter too. I love your blog and think you are a great writer and a great mom too! It amazes me that the hate-mailers really think they are going to make a difference. I'm sorry they have such miserable lives. Keep up the great work and never stop writing about your life. Leta is going to treasure all this one day!
51. turbulentflow said:
Wow, it really is incredible to see how opinionated people can be about someone else's life. If they know so much about what makes a good blog, why don't they just go do it themselves instead of complaining that you are somehow not doing it right.
Of course, now that you've revealed their small mindedness I'm sure they will just send you more hateful emails about how you went looking for sympathy... you just can't win with people like that.
I love your site - it is as popular as it is for a reason. Keep up the good work.
52. katehopeeden said:
I'd take *some* comfort in that the people who hate you still come and read your site every day :)
I only wish the evil people who write to tell me to "fuck off" in about two hundred words that are dripping with what a shitty mother I am would at least come back and read me the next day!
It's just good manners.
~K
53. annepet said:
Wow! Just walk away from the computer folks!
I love your blog Heather and I don't care in the least if you blog about your hate mail simply so we all jump up and down and say how stupid they all are - they are stupid, we like you - they can go away.
54. kbow said:
For crapsake, why are these people coming to your site if they don't like it? Especially repeat haters.
If anyone is upset about your ads the best thing they can do is not visit--even peeking counts as a page impression, idiots.
Why is a guy who hates bloggers that talk about their children even visiting any site of someone who has a kid. What a turd.
On the other hand SHE thinks you don't spend enough time with your child because you have time to write about her...where the hell are her children while she's reading your blog and composing hate-filled emails. Her mother raised her all by herself without any help from the father (because he worked full time he didn't contribute to raising his own kids?) and gee, look how great she turned out. Gah!
My guess is that they are all emailing from work (except the full-time mommy because that's not 'work', right?). The must have crappy jobs due to self-loathing issues. Can you imagine working with these people? No wonder you work from home!
55. Carolyn said:
My best friend's mother died of brain cancer 3 days ago. Your skin cancer is still scary. See how I did that? Separate, SEPARATE issues. Funny how I don't feel compelled to minimize Heather's problems. Oh, that's cause everyone is entitled to their shit. Yes yes. I do love reading the hate mail though - creative use of punctuation excites me.
We love Chuck pics. Keep them coming. Particularly spaghetti around the snoot.
56. Ms. Jen said:
Ranch-flavored rice cakes? I've seen cheesy rice cakes and honey-nut, but ranch? Or are they cool ranch? ;o)
57. Meg said:
What I love most is that you can tell a couple of them were trying to be witty in hopes that they got published, like Bill with his Capri Sun reference, etc.
That's so meta-lame that I can't even handle it. SHE'S NOT LINKING TO YOU, BILL. SHE'S NOT RECOMMENDING YOUR COOLNESS TO THE WORLD.
Nothing better than a man with Ranch breath, though. It's like vomiting into your mouth every time you kiss.
58. Samara said:
I'm confused. If they /hate/ you so much, why are they taking up their precious time to write you hate mail?
I love your blog, Heather. Your writing is witty and never fails to entertain me, and I love your photos.
I'm sure you've developed a hard skin as far as hate mail goes, but just to reassure you, we love you and I can never get enough Leta and Chuck in my day!
59. lelo said:
Hi Heather,
I can't beleive you get that kind of mail! It must be a drag having to read those kind of comments from people - even if they are lame-asses who can't find anything better to do then read blogs they don't like and send hateful comments to the authors. Just because you have ads on your site, dosen't mean you need to cater to anyone. Thats the great things about blogs. People can write whatever they want.
Anyhoo, I think your child and your dog are both very cute. Continue doing what you are doing and don't let the jackasses of the world get you down.
ps: I do have ONE complaint. Its pronounced CRAY-ON. Not Crown.
60. stacy said:
Heather -
I've read your blog for over a year now, but have never commented.
You are a very talented writer & photographer. Forget those people - if they don't like what you have to say - they can find another website to read.
Hope Jon feels better soon...
61. Lakotajo2 said:
I never get the hatemail thing. Why do people read things they don't like? And then, even more pitifully, respond with some sort of snarky comment? It makes me wonder if there is some sort of Blog Mafia,(run by the ad people of course) standing by these losers with a gun, saying "read this blog or I will blow your head off!" So then after the Blog Mafia and the gun leave, they feel like they have to make a rude, disparaging, comment to protest being forced to read something they hate? I.just.don't.get.it.
And the desert comment? I don't you could do much else, seeing as though you live in Utah which is a DESERT, not Belize, which is tropical. Ah well. Thanks for the laughs.
62. Sharla said:
The most traffic I got was from a post I made June 19 about my toilet exploding. So I guess poopy humor is in? I dunno or CARE.... I like this site.
63. CTSanders said:
I love your blog and think you're doing a great job! Screw everyone else that doesn't like it!
64. NuttyDutty said:
Isn't the point of a blog to write about WHATEVER YOU WANT?
There are plenty of blogs out there that I've come across that I didn't like, but I didn't email the author to tell them their site sucks...I simply NEVER went back!
I seriously don't care about exactly WHAT you write about, just that you write! I love reading everything ...even the hate mail!
Hatemailers need to get a life!
65. rochelle said:
I'm with so many others - I absolutely cannot fathom why people would spend so much time and energy reading sites and writing hatemail for sites that they don't like. It's much simpler to just stop reading! Weird.
People, get a sense of humor! I, along with most of my friends, LOVE this site. We're in our mid-twenties, most of us single, all of us without kids, don't know any mormons. We don't fit the 'demographic' but we check in daily so we don't miss a a thing!
66. katehopeeden said:
I'd take *some* comfort in that the people who hate you still come and read your site every day :)
I only wish the evil people who write to tell me to "fuck off" in about two hundred words that are dripping with what a shitty mother I am would at least come back and read me the next day!
It's just good manners.
~K
67. AronMichelle said:
Heather,
I love your blog! I don't fit into your "demographic" either, but you are a great writer and have a beautiful family.
Jon reminds me of my husband and Chuck reminds me of my dog. I can tell that you love them with every ounce of your being...cancerous as it may be.
And Leta, do we even have to go there? She's just absolutely beautiful and the love you have for her jumps right off the screen at me!
Keep up the good work!
68. Lessie said:
Please don't change ANYTHING about the site. LOVE your blog. Love Chuck. Love Leta. Love Blurbomat. He's so dang cute. How did you find him before I did?
69. notsoccer mom said:
I have to de-lurk to tell you I don't know which is funnier:
"I see a masthead in my near future: dooce, leading cause of obesity in America."
or
"www.BillNeedsAGoodOneUpThePooper.net" (almost peed my pants reading that one!)
I love, love, LOVE reading your site. You completely crack me up. If people can't GET your humor they should stop reading it! Keep up the good writing, whether it be about your daughter, dog, husband, cancer, plumbing, or your backyard!
70. Sherri said:
Actually, Heather, unlike disgruntled Mia, I'd like you to blog about and post photos of Chuck EVERY SINGLE DAY. I dig Chuck. But you can do whatever you like because it's YOUR DAMN BLOG. So there, Mia! Get your own damn blog, which no one will read, because you are a negative, bitter, person.
More Chuck!
Sherri
71. Leilia said:
Noone cared about my wedding but me? Damn!
72. melissa95490 said:
Heather, there are FAR more of us out there that think you're great. For me, maybe it's BECAUSE you have a two-year old (like me), maybe it's BECAUSE you suffered from depression after having her daughter (like me), maybe it's because your monthly posts to Leta make me cry EVERY single time. Maybe it's because your life has evolved (like most of ours do... not so sure about the haters though), and while you at times miss the freedom of days past, there is nothing more breathtaking than watching your child grow and learn right before your eyes. And yes, there are days when I need a total break from my child too... it's NORMAL you haters! Do any of you even have children? Sheesh. Anyway, love what you write, don't change one bit.
73. Pascha said:
Can someone explain something to me? How do ads work? Does dooce get money just for someone looking at her site, or does she only get money if someone clicks on an ad?
74. NellaBella said:
Sometimes my husband gets this way. He hates Sandra Bullock but is compelled to watch previews of her movies. This habit is extremely stupid and damaging- to himself, me, and most importantly Sandra Bullock.
I on the other hand have a long fuse. I deal with the difference by saying to him, when he is at his most hateful and frustrated, "Don't hate, appreciate!"
It's stupid and childish and PERFECT because its so patronizing it simply makes him boil over and then quickly move on. -FUNNY.
75. happygrly said:
What I have a really hard time understanding is that if someone hates you and your blog so much, why not just stay away from it? There are a million blogs - why do they continue to come back to one they "hate" so damn much?
Heather, I've been reading your blog for months now and absolutely love it! I love your letters to Leta, the photos, the story about your sewer line, etc... I hope you don't let the hate mailers get to you.
76. alibree said:
those are fantastic! why in the hell don't these people just get over it, if what you post bothers them so much STAY AWAY.
i visit your site daily, and love it. you are a great mom, wife, writer, photographer. keep it up.
hope john feels better...
77. Ktkat said:
WOW. That's just... so... FUCKING FUNNY! I love people who are so obsessed with something that even when they claim to hate it, they HAVE to comment on it! And repeatedly even. Here's an idea: if you don't like Dooce anymore (or never did), STOP COMING TO THE SITE. Mmmm'k? *crickets chirping* Okay. That was easy.
Now, I have to say I WILL be sneaking up behind my husband and using the "grapefruit ON IT" scare tactic (mostly because I am one of those people that capitalizes randomly and also because my hubby HATES to be scared)...
and also, I agree with Darlin' about those damned deserts making people fat. Just the THOUGHT of sand makes me gain a pound or two. And if you add a cactus? Fuggetaboudit.
78. Sherri said:
Actually, Heather, unlike disgruntled Mia, I'd like you to blog about and post photos of Chuck EVERY SINGLE DAY. I dig Chuck. But you can do whatever you like because it's YOUR DAMN BLOG. So there, Mia! Get your own damn blog, which no one will read, because you are a negative, bitter, person.
More Chuck!
Sherri
79. Shalini said:
Chuck Fridays are the best. I live for them.
80. Pascha said:
Can someone explain something to me? How do ads work? Does dooce get money just for someone looking at her site, or does she only get money if someone clicks on an ad?
81. Sherri said:
Actually, Heather, unlike disgruntled Mia, I'd like you to blog about and post photos of Chuck EVERY SINGLE DAY. I dig Chuck. But you can do whatever you like because it's YOUR DAMN BLOG. So there, Mia! Get your own damn blog, which no one will read, because you are a negative, bitter, person.
More Chuck!
Sherri
82. mdwhittaker said:
i think what really blows my mind is that you have repeat hatemailers. so am i to understand that these people periodically check in with your website just to re-load for the next round of hatemail? wow. who has that kind of time? also blowing my mind is that hatemailers always seem to lack basic spelling and grammar skills. i would think that the insults pack less of a punch when they're constructed on a fourth-grade level. wow. i don't know how you do it, heather.
get well soon, jon. that whole sick-but-grabby business reminds me of that episode of "friends," where sick monica keeps trying to get well chandler to sleep with her... anyway, feel better, dude.
83. happygrly said:
What I have a really hard time understanding is that if someone hates you and your blog so much, why not just stay away from it? There are a million blogs - why do they continue to come back to one they "hate" so damn much?
Heather, I've been reading your blog for months now and absolutely love it! I love your letters to Leta, the photos, the story about your sewer line, etc... I hope you don't let the hate mailers get to you.
84. Angela said:
Now Heather, you know that wasn't a fair representation putting this hatemail up that was only written AFTER you put a gun to their heads and made them read your blog until they passed out.
Do people really THINK like this, let alone take the time to write it and send it?
I do however have to back up that deserts make us fat. I lived in the desert for 2 years and I was fat as hell the entire time.
85. Mike Drips said:
I read your blog because it's funny and occasionally makes me laugh out loud.
Granted some people get offended when you and Leta draw Elmo with lines of coke and then snort it up. That's normal because a lot of people don't like Elmo.
There's also the provocative issue of your unemployable husband Mooch (aka Jon) who seems to be fashion challenged. Again that's normal as shopping for men's clothing is about as fun as choosing a grade of cement for your new pool.
Keep up the good work and as the Arabs say "the dogs bark, but the caravan moves on."
86. luckeygirl said:
I agree that you need to create another site, revealing the dark side of your blog. Post that hate mail. Publish those email addresses. I'd be a repeat visitor, fo sho.
And, a "repeat hate mailer", what is that? Why do they return? These people are into some weird shit.
87. katy66 said:
Dear Heather,
What's a negroe?
PHYSO!,
Katy in Kentucky
88. bradenmikael said:
Sounds to me like all of these "hate emailers" are people who are in absolute dire straights based on the jealousy they have for you. I mean, you make money off your site and it supports your family. To that, I say, "Good for you! Alright!" These people are nothing more than jealous brain-dead morons who feel as if the world owes them something because of the miserable lives they lead. I say F-them! Heather, these people seem to forget that this site of yours is just that..."yours." They seem to forget that if they don't like what they see on here, they are free to leave. Damn, people are so freakin' stupid. Who's been passing out the "Dumb Pills?"
Best to you and your family, Heather. Keep up the site and don't change a single thing. You rock.
Best --
Braden
89. Amy said:
Well...who knew that people were being forced to read dooce.com. Why else would people keep going to back and reading something they obviously HATE!
I guess people forget that the internet is a free world. If Heather wants to write about the speed of the grass growing in her backyard on HER website, she can and YOU don't have to read it!
I love your blog...keep it up!
90. Cosmic Girl said:
Know what - its much braver to reveal yourself and talk about real issues such as depression and illustrate how it can exist as part of an otherwise ordinary life. It's quite liberating to see Dooce talk so frankly and prove that she will not be defeated by such debilitating hindrances.
From that point I suspect that the hate mailers are wasting their breaths in bleating on about nothing. It purely serves to highlight their own inner poison and self loathing, for if they really liked themselves, surely they would spend time doing something they enjoyed, whereas Dooce apparently makes them miserable. Didums.
Move on, there's enough hate in the world already.
91. Rumblelizard said:
The only response any of those emailers really deserve is, "Jealous much?" What else could possibly fuel such vitriol except deep, burning jealousy of your talent and readership?
What a pack of irrelevant turd-touchers.
Also, Chuck rules.
Get-well wishes to Jon!
92. katy66 said:
Dear Heather,
What's a negroe?
PHYSO!,
Katy in Kentucky
93. JennJenn said:
Holy crap I don't know what made me laugh more, the comments or the rebutals.
I can't for the life of me understand WHY someone would complain about you not being serious enough, or that you write about things that aren't funny? What?
People, if you want to be depressed or upset go to one of THOSE sites. You know, children in 3rd world countries who are shunned and left to die because they are born with a disability. Or how about going to sites where you can volunteer for Doctors without Borders and actually DO something with your pathetic life. But for the love of God, don't waste your breathe complaining here.
Love you Dooce!
Oh and have Jon checked for the Hanta virus and the Bubonic plague. Out here in California three people have contracted the Bubonic plague...serves them right for playing with rats. Ewww...
Dooce on!
Keep on Doocin!
Dooce or Loose!
Dare to do Dooce!....wait that one sounds funny...
94. miss kendra said:
well here i was all ready to hate on you, but i can see that's been taken care of.
now my afternoon is free to go kick the handicapped, burn down churches and eat babies.
95. Sherri said:
Actually, Heather, unlike disgruntled Mia, I'd like you to blog about and post photos of Chuck EVERY SINGLE DAY. I dig Chuck. But you can do whatever you like because it's YOUR DAMN BLOG. So there, Mia! Get your own damn blog, which no one will read, because you are a negative, bitter, person.
More Chuck!
Sherri
96. Amanda B. said:
I hate that people actually waste their time to send such hateful crap to you - sounds as though someone needs to clean up their bookmarks. But - I love the fact that you make fun of the asscracks and post it so we can join in the fun too.
And, I know what its like to live with a serial groper . . . its never a bad time to squeeze some butt or boobs.
97. bradenmikael said:
Sounds to me like all of these "hate emailers" are people who are in absolute dire straights based on the jealousy they have for you. I mean, you make money off your site and it supports your family. To that, I say, "Good for you! Alright!" These people are nothing more than jealous brain-dead morons who feel as if the world owes them something because of the miserable lives they lead. I say F-them! Heather, these people seem to forget that this site of yours is just that..."yours." They seem to forget that if they don't like what they see on here, they are free to leave. Damn, people are so freakin' stupid. Who's been passing out the "Dumb Pills?"
Best to you and your family, Heather. Keep up the site and don't change a single thing. You rock.
Best --
Braden
98. katy66 said:
Dear Heather,
What's a negroe?
PHYSO!,
Katy in Kentucky
99. katy66 said:
Dear Heather,
What's a negroe?
PHYSO!,
Katy in Kentucky
100. Wendy Mac said:
Ignorance is killing America faster than obesity-
YOU CAN DIE FROM SKIN CANCER. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIED FROM A "LITTLE SKIN CANCER".
Sorry, Heather. Someone had to say it. Your site is wonderfully entertaining, don't let a couple of idiots ruin it for the rest of us.
101. JennJenn said:
Holy crap I don't know what made me laugh more, the comments or the rebutals.
I can't for the life of me understand WHY someone would complain about you not being serious enough, or that you write about things that aren't funny? What?
People, if you want to be depressed or upset go to one of THOSE sites. You know, children in 3rd world countries who are shunned and left to die because they are born with a disability. Or how about going to sites where you can volunteer for Doctors without Borders and actually DO something with your pathetic life. But for the love of God, don't waste your breathe complaining here.
Love you Dooce!
Oh and have Jon checked for the Hanta virus and the Bubonic plague. Out here in California three people have contracted the Bubonic plague...serves them right for playing with rats. Ewww...
Dooce on!
Keep on Doocin!
Dooce or Loose!
Dare to do Dooce!....wait that one sounds funny...
102. subloke said:
Long time lurker, first time commenter (lame, i know. sorry)
1. I surreptitiously read you every day at work. I am single, no kids, no connection with the Mormon Church whatsoever and still, somehow, daily I laugh (quietly and stealthily) my ass off reading you. Today's post was a good example.
2. I realize that the hatemail can be, well, hateful and hurtful and really actually affect a person, but... so funny at the same time. Thanks for sharing your collection of wackos.
3. Why do people have to compare and rate serious illnesses like that? "Your cancer is not nearly as scary as my cancer so you do not have a right to talk about it." Stupid people.
4. I have an idea for you, which may satisfy all of the lurker/haters who feel that your site content must please them and them alone. Write a "Choose Your Own Adventure" style post. That way, they can get the content that they want. Or, you could do a "Mad-Lib" post. That way they only have themselves to blame for the content they don't like.
Please don't stop making me have to hide behind my monitor silently shaking with laughter.
103. muirne81 said:
Something that seems ironically obvious:
Mia, woman of a thousand hate mails, asks YOU if "you have anything better to do with YOUR life"?
Huh.
I'm always amazed by hate mail--if you don't like it, just don't look. It's not like Heather has a semi-automatic she got at Walmart pointed at the haters' heads, telling them they have to read Dooce.com every morning or else.
Heather, here's a little love mail: your blog is so enjoyable. I read it every day. Keep up the good work. Plaster more photos and video of your engaging daughter/Dog/husband/clogs/growths/adventures, please.
104. bellabugs_mom said:
WTF? If they believe you are such a boring read, what does that say about us who come here faithfully everyday salivating for new content?
Clearly they all need to spend more time sucking the old wrinkly balls of a homeless man.
Two tears in a bucket...FUCK IT.
105. Sparkle Pants said:
I've never commented here but I think today is a good day to start. I mean, if these people hate the blog so much, why do they take the time to a) read it and b) email you about it? If their lives are so busy and important, shouldn't they be, I don't know, saving starving babies in Africa or something? And really, Bill just wants more space on the internets for his klan website.
106. GEORGE! said:
I hate your dog and your kid too.
I just keep coming back to read your website because I'm just so damn jealous of you and I wish I could have the wonderful family and life that YOU HAVE.
Damn you Heather B Armstrong.
Get off the internet!
ON IT!
107. Brandy K said:
You really need to stop forcing these fine folks to read your blog! I mean, how dare you? Forcing them to look at your dog and child, why, I think you're the animal! And forcing your morality on them, and your unhealthy eating habits? They look to you as a source of guidance in child rearing and nutrition and pet care and wifeliness (I totally just made that word up)...and you give them...oh my...the F word and the truth that motherhood sometimes sucks and food can often be the enemy & your best friend at the same damn time. It's madness. Can't. Take. It. Anymore.
PS-I think you should offer the following template for hatemailers:
Dear Dooce,
Long time reader, first (second/repeat) time hatemailer...
108. Tolovemoon said:
Well, I think these people are just feeding you some fuel so you will write something else for my day to have a laugh in...
Heck I tried to send some fuel but I don't know if it made it to you or that I had the correct address..
So let me share please to all the haters, or should I say fakers....
Ya know ya have to shit, fart, burp, pee the bed, pick your nose, blow chunks, get something stuck in your nose, occasionally wipe a tear away from spoiling the little one so much that a problem has developed....
I can't write as good as Heather and its so inspiring to read good, proper grammar wrote by someone that is going through common issues in life...
She is a very good journalist and if you don't like it then don't visit...
I am just wondering when you will write a book with all of what life has thrown at ya..
I hope my email made it through but not intented as hate...If it didnt then it wasnt meant to....
Anyways Peace....
109. stefaniwanne said:
Things I have learned from reading dooce:
1. It's okay to have mental problems, talk about them,deal with them, medicate for them and to simutaneously hate Tom Cruise.
2. Children are beautiful and you love them always with your whole heart but it doesn't mean it's perfect and you like them all the time. Motherhood is hard and it's okay to admit it.
3. A bad day can be cured by a good dog.
4. Living with and loving someone isn't easy but always worthwhile.
5. People can make a living doing something they love and be happier for it.
6. Mormons have crazy beliefs but are generally good people.
7. Your family can still love you even if your core values differ greatly from one another.
8. Other everyday people besides me like to say Motherfucker.
9. Heather Armstrong is a funny shit ass ho motherfucker!
10. People who write hatemail really need to get lives.
11. Reading about everyday life, dogs, Leta and clogs makes me laugh.
12. Heather should rock on with her bad self!
13. All haters should go back to watching O'Rielly and leave us alone!!!
110. Nils Ling said:
So, if I have cereal with grapefruit ON IT, and I gain weight, I can blame you?
That. Is. Awesome.
I just LOVE your hatemail posts. So much more interesting than the other stuff you write about on your blog. Like your life and stuff.
Get off the Internet! Mia needs space to spread her love. ON IT.
111. Cosmic Girl said:
Know what - its much braver to reveal yourself and talk about real issues such as depression and illustrate how it can exist as part of an otherwise ordinary life. It's quite liberating how Dooce speaks so frankly and proves that a person need not be defeated by such life's obstacles, and it is still possible to make a successful life against the odds.
On that note I suspect that the hate mailers are wasting their breaths in bleating on about nothing. It purely serves to highlight their own inner poison and self loathing, for if they really liked themselves, surely they would spend time doing something they enjoyed, whereas reading Dooce apparently makes them miserable.
Move on, there's enough hate in the world already.
112. Alotta Errata said:
Is it wrong that I get great pleasure from reading your hatemail? Not because I agree with them, but the variety of morons that write in is fantastic. My personal favorite are people who write to ask "don't you have anything better to do...." because No, I don't. Don't they?
113. Billygean.co.uk said:
My God! Words cannot describe, and if they could, all your yummy commenters would have said it already.
Keep chin up, etc etc. You are queen of internet. Also, I recommended you to a friend (when they asked when I started blogging and where I got my style from!) and they started reading. I got all excited and decided to tell them all about you.
That's a bit weird, isn't it?
BG
114. GingerCostaRica said:
if you get that much hate mail than you ought to capitalize on it. register ihatedooce.com and let the 'haters' create the content. at least it would clean out your inbox.
115. birdgal said:
These people, A. don't have kids, B. don't own a home (or live anywhere that requires maintenance of any sort), C. don't have sentence building or spelling skills, and D. don't have a life.
Yeah, that about sums it up.
116. MissusB said:
Sigh. People are stupid. And Brooklyn? Just wrong in the head. Because, of course, Chuck is the shit.
117. truth said:
wow Heather.
wow.
all these stupid people took the time out of their busy lives to tell you how much they hate your blog?
hmmmm....
they must not have a lot going on in their lives in order to focus so much anger towards you.
hey hate mailers! GROW UP and get a freaking life would ya?
personally, i DIG your blog Heather. Keep writing woman, keep writing!
118. Tednlisa said:
Hey I love Chuck pictures. Kepp them coming especially ones involving food or stacking things on his head. I come back to your site to see Chuck pictures. Good post for today. I really enjoy reading your hate mail, and your responses.
119. yadayadayada said:
I don't know why those people who hate your blog take the time to read it, other than maybe they don't have a LIFE! But, you have to admit, they do give you some good material. Love your blog and hope Jon gets to feeling better.
120. Bridget said:
There is so much I could say in response, not least of which is that I can't believe these people go through the trouble of writing such hateful things when life is entirely too short to be angry with strangers.
But I'll focus on this instead--people DO actually care about kids that aren't theirs. I love my nephews and goddaughter more than anything in this world, and Mia is being narrow-minded to suggest otherwise.
PS--Leta is as beautiful as your writing. Keep up the great work!
121. muirne81 said:
I got so distracted by the haters that I forgot to add--YEAH, what is it with men? Even with West Nile, malaria, the flu, or in their 'normal' state, they all can summon the energy for an innappropriate grope.
If I could only harness that power for good instead of ee-vil...
122. HalfwayCrucified said:
I'll bet half of these losers gave up on their own blogs because because they couldn't attract an audience and even their mothers and inbred cousins lost interest after the first week. It's jealousy, pure and simple (and so painfully obvious).
The other half will die as they were born: lonely, miserable asswipes who contribute nothing and thrive only by tearing others down.
Thank God you and Jon have thick skin. Hopefully the good karma from the rest of us makes the piffle from these nits tolerable.
123. Liza Cavanaugh said:
Lurker Delurking to comment on the hatemails.
They crack me up and not because I'm mean, they crack me up because people actually take the time to be mean. Not only do they take the time to be mean, but they aren't any good at it! Come on, if you're gonna take the time to purposely hurt someone else, at least make it worth while.
For example, if someone wanted to tell me, "Hey, Liza, you're stupid," they could at least say it like, " Hey, Stupid Liza, you're really stupid. You're so stupid I'm now stupid for even having mentioned your name."
Don't worry, I think you're great otherwise I wouldn't keep lurking and reading and having you linked on my blog so I don't forget to check every hour to see if Dooce has been updated. Nope, I'm not a psycho (oh wait, I mean physo) stalker, I just need something to do when I'm at work.
As for people who think that you're blog is boring and stupid to read because it isn't super interesting, that's the lamest reason to hate a blog. I personally love to read your blog because IN IT are wonderful things that I can relate to because guess what, my dog eats pizza too!! teehee.
Right, so now my novel is finished. And now that I have learned how to comment, I may just comment again!
Have a great weekend!
124. ErinMqt said:
So- if you gain wait, does that mean you become more impatient?
Those letters remind me of a tabloid I saw recently saying that Tom Cruise's baby is disfigured. People get so weird over famous people.
125. goodsnake said:
Did you notice that you were one of the Quotes of the Day on Google? If you really sucked, I don't think you would have made it there. You are doing an awesome job, so ignore the idiots and don't give them airtime by posting about them on your blog. Totally not worth it.
126. Lowter said:
I just don't get it ... why would people spend so much time reading something they obviously don't enjoy and then composing posts about how much they don't enjoy it. Waste. Of. Time.
127. Meretrice said:
I'm going to write a scathing email in poorly worded English in hopes Heather will publish it and I can bask in the radioactive heat of her scathing reply.
I'll be quasi-famous for like half a second. It's gonna be bitchin'
April
128. Rachel said:
To Anonymous Chicken Liver,
What century are you living in? Jon is Leta's father... Why shouldn't he take care of her? Also, if Heather can make enough money on this site to support her family and allow them to be home together most of the time, then that's wonderful. So many familes aspire to that but, because of personal circumstances, never can.
As for the comment about the ads... They don't obstruct my enjoyment of the site. If I'm not interested in a particular ad I ignore it. I can do this cause the ads are very low key.
You people have too much time on your hands.
129. jen said:
Dear Heather,
I don't think "you dog is STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!".
I said it before, and I'll say it again: Stuff + Chuck = Awesome
Thank you,
Jen
p.s. Watch out for wait causing deserts. All that heat & delay is so inconvenient.
130. Cloudy said:
I hope Jon gets better soon, that is a hell of an illness. I hope he does not get grapefruit ON IT.
Thanks for making us laugh with all your awesome hate mail; you have truly made it. I just wish they would not dis on Chuck like that.
131. yankeyhotel said:
Oh man, I hate people, or at least sucky people. Which is exactly why I like this site, it is written and about by unsucky people. Well, I am not sure that made sense, but I like your dog. I think eating things that are bad for is fun (chicken fried steak covered with queso, mmmmmm!). And I like the mundane. Everything that is good in life is small (when your kid laughs, your dog farts, a cigarette on a hot afternoon and making fun of other people) , the really big things never seem to be as good. thanks again for amusing my day.
132. danielle Brown said:
i always get a kick out of your hate-mails when you post them. thanks for some good laughs, but my favorite has to be the one from janet.
does she proof read, because treating stress in your "live" with "desert" sounds a lot different than eating a delicious deSSert. (seriously, didn't she learn the "desert has one 's' because you want less, "dessert" has two because you want more" thing in elementary school??) and i don't know about you, but if i do eat too much dessert, i gain WEIGHT, not "wait."
keep up the good work!
love,
another 23 year old without a husband, sewer, kid, or dog that can balance 16 jerky sticks on his head, but still reads your blog every day.
133. doodlepie said:
Is it me, or is the hate mail getting more and more lame as time goes by?
These people used to me so much more creative. Not even a chuckle out of me this time... I almost fell asleep reading this last post.
What happened to you guys? In a writing funk? Hate-mail writers block?
134. rockr girl said:
WHEEE!!!
i LOVE hatemail posts!! seriously, its one of my favorite, special times as a dooce reader. and, really, maybe i'm slower than some of the hatemailers, but, i never noticed that Fridays were Chuck-themed. and if they indeed are, well, then, ON IT! or something...
oh, yeah, and perhaps "ms poopy-pants stick-up-her-butt" who is angered that you are not writing a blog FOR HER should go back and listen to the Kottke/dooce debate on ads/money/subscriptions from SXSW XX. if she really wants to be pissed off, then she can go pay $4 a month to read a blog that STILL won't fulfill all of her blogginess needs. its the internet, people. go elsewhere if this annoys you so much. Call Al Gore; i am sure he will have some great recommendations of sites to visit. shit, he invented it, right?
135. miss kendra said:
well here i was all ready to hate on you, but i can see that's been taken care of.
now my afternoon is free to go kick the handicapped, burn down churches and eat babies.
136. muirne81 said:
MMMMMmmmmmm, babies...... So tasty. With peanut butter. ON IT.
137. Carol said:
I can't believe people send you crap like that.
Personally, your writing - about it all - means a lot to me. And I love your whole family: your wonderful husband, precious Leta and the patient and hilarious Congressman.
Love you Heather - Don't stop!
138. smoness said:
Every single one of these people needs a big fat drink and someone to teach them how to chill the fuck out. You're not forcing anyone to read your site (or are you?!). You're life is much fuller than theirs, considering all they seem to have time for is writing you hate mail. -- Keep rockin' the Casbah, Heather!
139. bpbc said:
I highly suspect these hatemailers are the kind of people who write networks when thier soap opera characters don't do exactly what they want them to do. Somehow, the logic extends to real life people who write blogs. "If you don't write what I want you to write, I'm going to bitch and complain, because somehow my words will magically change Heather's life so she can talk about something else!"
You've gotten nothing but better over the past years. Sure, your topics have changed, but the worst sin of all is to refuse to change.
140. bookworm said:
Hmmm, you write a personal blog about your life and family, and there are people out there who don't like what you write.
Gee, do you think that maybe they should, I don't know, not read your blog?
What a novel idea.
Personally, I read your blog on a daily basis and look forward to the monthly newsletters to Leta - they make me laugh and cry, and I hope to God that when I have children, I'll be able to express my love for them half as well as you do. And please keep the Chuck photos and videos coming! I want a Chuck of my very own.
The hatemail is good for a laugh though. Makes you wonder what these oh so bright, intelligent people do with their days. Oh yeah, they're reading your blog! Must not be too bright or intelligent, if they spend their time voluntarily doing something they hate.
Sherri
141. miss kendra said:
sorry for the double post. while i'm fully trusting in other people's hatred of you, my computer feels the need to express her own.
142. smoness said:
Every single one of these people needs a big fat drink and someone to teach them how to chill the fuck out. You're not forcing anyone to read your site (or are you?!). Your life is much fuller than theirs, considering all they seem to have time for is writing you hate mail. -- Keep Rockin' The Casbah, Heather!
143. Jamie said:
Yea, this post illustrates perfectly why I'm GLAD no one but my mom reads my pathetic little blog.
Fuck 'em Dooce, you ROCK!
144. Chris J said:
Hi Heather,
I LOVE your site but have never commented before. I had to sign up more a TypeKey account just to say FUCK THEM! Most of your readers, I'm sure, love to read about whatever it is you have to say. If people don't like it they should STOP READING!!!! You are entertaining, funny and post lots of great pictures, whether they are of Leta or your dog or whatever else. Nobody is forcing the hatemailers to read your blog, so there is no need for them to send hatemail as if you are writing just to spite them. They should all just get off the high horse and move on!
145. laurelforest said:
Heather - I've always said it's better to be hated than not noticed. I blush to think how small these hatemailer's lives (can't figure out where the apostrophe s goes) are, though. Your blog is what inspired me to blog - as Frank the Tank said to his soon to be ex-wife, "Well, keep, keep truckin!"
146. oromat said:
When I'm feeling particularly down and vulnerable, I call my sister. My sister never fails to tell me, "There are people with much bigger problems than you in the world. You should be grateful." Why do I do this to myself? Probably for the same reason you endure the crap you have to read in response to your posts. What your gentle readers* fail to understand is that it's not a pissing contest to see who hurts more or longer. There are indeed people with bigger problems in the world; there are also people with smaller problems or no problems at all. The point is that whatever you are dealing with is real and what you are feeling is real too.
Believe it or not, your cancer post motivated me to make an appointment to see a dermatologist next week. I've got a funky raised patch on my leg that I've been ignoring for a while.
*are you sure these emails aren't from the same source? I'm pretty sure it's my sister on the other end!
147. Danai said:
I find it strange that people tell you what to write on your own site. And that people come again and again to complain about how you “have no lifeâ€. It really makes me wonder whether or not they know what a blog is. Personally I don't think this is a very good blog but I'm not going to sit here telling you that you need to change it. You've tapped into something very profitable, which is controversy. Which I think is the only reason you get so many hits, which is the reason you advertise on the site, which is the reason you respond to hatemail. Because it gets more hits. So really if you changed to what people wanted, well then your site wouldn’t be so interesting. I’m sure I’m just stating the obvious, but it doesn’t seem that anyone else could put it together.
148. Cauri said:
Why are they even taking the time to REPEATEDLY come back and read, and then send you hatemail about how much they didn't enjoy your site? Am i the only one who, if i come across a site i don't particularly enjoy, moves onto something else?
If it doesn't interest you, why don't you move along?
Heather, my blood is boiling. Who wastes their time saying hateful things to someone they don't even know? They're jealous, they're pathetic, and they have nothing better to do with their time.
You're strong, you're courageous, and you're very entertaining =) Thank you for always being so open with us and not letting a few hateful monsters ruin your willingness to share your experiences with us all.
149. manduca said:
What the hell did you do the that pic of chuck in the yard? The detail is amazing, the color, the shallow depth of field, the lighting, chuck's silky fur... I love how Canon makes the colors pop by default (like this pic, http://www.flickr.com/photos/buttercup/218580533/ that i took with my lil SD 450). Seriously, what post-processing did you do to that pic? OK, and while I'm in interrogation mode, how you do motivate to carry your D70 around as much as you seem to? I find that I get lazy and just carry my teeny snapper instead. Le sigh.
Best,
Manduca "I laugh at hate mail" Sexta
150. DDM said:
Dear Dooce Hatemail Authors,
Don't read this site anymore, FUCKWADS.
151. sravana said:
First - I'm sending good Qi to Jon - I hope they get his mystery illness figured out, quick. Headaches suck, particularly when they go on for days without end.
Second - I'm with nightengaleshiraz - you definitely need a secondary site where you post your hate mail. With that revenue, you can pay for Leta's college.
Third - Don't change a thing (particularly Chuck Fridays and Monthly Leta). I'm thinking that I need to send you supportive emails weekly, just to counteract your hate mail!
lovelovelove
152. Pixiebutt said:
Got to love the sexist idiots out there. It's funny, all the things those idiots complain about are why I love your blog. Don't stop writing or showing pictures of Chuck and Leta, I can't get enough of them. If you don't like this blog than don't have one- I mean don't read it! :-)
153. Nat W. said:
I don't understand why people come here if they don't want to read what you choose to write about. As a 21 year old single chick, I personally love reading about Leta, because it makes my uterus feel all warm and fuzzy. And I don't think there's ENOUGH Chuck--there can never be enough Chuck. (If you say enough Chuck kind of fast, it almost sounds like up-chuck. Random thought.) I say, bring on the pictures of Chuck in the backyard! And hell, throw that cute kid in there, too.
154. Steviedi said:
I sign on to your website every day because your writing never ceases to crack me up. Since we do have a choice of what websites we sign on to, I do not understand why the posters, who always seem to have something negative to say about your writings, keep visiting your website. If I had the talent to make the day-to-day activities of my life seem interesting, I would start a blog too. For now, I will live vicariously through you. I also sign on to see if I can teach my dogs half the tricks that Chuck has mastered.
155. wifethereof said:
All of those hatemail comments prove that:
1. America's writing and spelling skills are shit. You can't take people seriously who don't know basic rules of grammar.
2. Some people have way too much time on their hands. If they have time to write those emails, then they have time to get off their ass and do something actually productive.
3. No one taught them to not read and just ignore something they don't like. So much wasted energy that could of been productive.
PS- Chuck rules!
156. Becca said:
I would probably find your site boring too. If I was barely literate, that is. Wait, now I'm getting paranoid. Should it be "was barely literate" or "were barely literate?"
157. Just a trumpet player said:
Oh my...
I don't get that concept, why people would leave hate mail on a blog.... There are thousands of blogs ; if you don't like one, just find an other one !
158. mslieder said:
The internet is like the TV - if you don't like what you're seeing, don't read it!
I love your site and check on it every day. I'd say to these haters: "Fuck off" <>
159. PG said:
Wait a minute. Shouldn't Janet worry about her weight?
"They eat to make themselve feel better, and they gain wait."
160. mslieder said:
That was supposed to be "Fuck off" (in a chicken voice)
161. Trishfreak said:
I don't know if you'll see every single comment but I wanted to pass along that we will always love you and your family in this house. My uber religious JW mother in law loves your posts. I read the cleaned up version to her - sometimes I just have to stop and say "Yeah mom, um, I don't think I can finish this one" because I don't know HOW to clean it up and that's OK!!!! Keep giving us regulars what we love: You, Leta, Jon and Chuck!
162. Kate said:
Wish I had time for all the comments (that's what I get for cruising Dooce at work, :le sigh: ), but promise to catch up later. In the meantime, I do wonder about people who claim you have no life, who apparently have even less life of their own, as they spend their time emailing people with no life. What the fuck? Isn't that a spiraling descent of lifelessness? (If you agree with their premise, which I don't.)
And as I'm sure the other 2,437 commenters have said: love you. Love Dooce.com. Love that you grow and evolve and take us on the journey.
Fuck the haters. Better yet: I hope the haters never get a fuck in their lives.
163. Darlin' said:
What adult snacks on Capri Sun and ranch flavoured rice cakes and admits it? Yuck. It is like "Well, rice cakes are healthy but I'm going to fat it up with some ranch and hey! pass me a sugar filled Capri Sun too!" Why not follow up with some ho-ho's and barbequed tofu?
164. Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Obviously, some people came out from under the MySpace rock too quickly and are not yet prepared to read blogs written by adults.
165. Gora_Kagaz said:
the concept of hate mail always surprises me, because if you're so upset by what you see, why not just forget about it and move on? and if you feel it's necessary to let your disapproval be known, then do it once. why keep on coming back if it upsets you so much?...some people are just impossible to understand. pay them no mind--you have a wonderfully witty writing style and i enjoy your site very much. :)
166. finetimelucille said:
Heather, I check your site everyday. It's a habit I'm not trying to break. My husband is a groper and my cat barfs quite a bit. (It's a personality trait -- he's a rescued cat). There's something calming about reading others travails and triumphs. Write whatever you want. Best, FTL
167. jsides23 said:
Wow, clearly all these folks are losers. What is funny to me is that they refer to Heather as self-centered and living in a small world not extending beyond her living room, yet they are selfish enough to ask her to customize her PERSONAL blog to fit their needs and interests. That is my friends, what we like to call in the South, the pot callin' the kettle black! Here's a tip- google.com, search "blogs for idiots". That should do the trick. Meanwhile I resume my reading deep into the dooce archives because I CAN"T GET ENOUGH :)
168. Sandra Heikkinen said:
My god, those are fantastic. From the horrendous spelling and grammar to the actual contents...well, it just makes me wish I had some haters.
169. Black Belt Mama said:
What I find 100% amazing is the fact that these hatemailers act like THEY are paying YOU to write for THEM. If you make money off your blog, then great. Who wouldn't LOVE to do what they love and make money?
And as far as the whole cancer thing goes. . . and there has been LOTS of talk about this all over the blogophere, I don't care what type of cancer or maybe cancer you're talking about. . . when it's happening to YOU it is a big deal. And when it's happening to YOU and you happen to have a child, it's life altering. Why does everyone feel they have to compare themselves to you?
And if they hate you so much, then why do they waste another minute of their life emailing you such stupid things? It just doesn't make sense to me.
170. Bess said:
How can people who send hate mail like that live with themselves every day? It's a little like irritable bowel syndrome: while the normal reaction would be embarrassment and a change of pants, here's a person who is soiling herself proudly and deliberately and with righteousness, not realizing that no one else wants to smell her shit. (Or himself and his shit -- I certainly don't want to leave out Bill and his pooper.)
On the flip side, when Dooce gives a shit about something, I can usually get on board with that. I guess that's the difference between being THE shit and just being a piece of shit.
Sorry to get all scatological there.
171. belletoes said:
Okay, Ronald just needs to fuck off! He offended me the most of all of the assinine hatemailers. Dooce, you so totally rock. Those jackasses have nothing better to do than to write you about how much they hate you and your writing??? Several times??? LOSERS!
Do you know where Ronald lives? My dog Moe and your Congressman Chuck, (aka Monty Burns) need to go take some major poopage in his yard. You know he sits alone all day griping and sending hatemail and chewing his toenails. AGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Stupid people. keep doin' what you're doin' sistah. We love you!
also, sending you pix of my Moe, she is Chuck's female counterpart.
172. kendall said:
ohhh I LOVE the hate-mail posts. So funny.
Thanks Heather, for making my friday afternoon go a bit faster.
173. Free to Be said:
GET RID OF CHUCK FRIDAYS???? Oh Hell no!
174. acharpenter said:
I have been reading this site for years and this is the first time I have felt compelled to leave a comment....
I say keep the hate mail coming! It's not like you take them seriously and the hate mail reviews are some of the best entertainment!
Keep up the good work Heather!!!!!
175. Liv said:
i am looking forward to that masthead! and i agree with what has been said many times alread; if you dont like it, dont read it. shockingly, there is quie a lot more out there on the internet.
176. Mel said:
Wow...Idiots...It's your page, not theirs. Goodness...People are so hateful. :(
177. zitsmom said:
I wonder who is standing behind those whiners forcing them to read blogs they hate. God, I hate stupid people.
178. JWo said:
It infuriates me how people choose to read a blog then berate the writer for what is written about. Apparently it's a blast to send hate mail when it was one's own choice to be a return customer.
The way I figure it, that's their only way of "release" - as you said, [more than] one of them needs a good one up the pooper.
Keep on rockin!
179. Hamle Elme said:
Long time reader, first time commenting:
Personally, I love all of the posts/pictures/videos that include Leta, Chuck, and Jon- ESPECIALLY Leta. I'm expecting myself, and I often find myself wishing that I will have a baby girl that will turn out to be just as beautiful, smart, and all around loveable as her.
Also, I am just as baffled as the others who question why your hatemailers continue to read your site if they have such a problem with it.
Heather, I think that you are a great mom, have a wonderful talent for making every day things quite amusing, and have a WONDERFUL family. Please don't stop doing what you do.
180. Renae said:
Hate mailers are a funny breed, they take time out of their oh so important lives to whine about how pathetic they think you are as if you are supposed to care about their opinions of you. Get a life people. They aren't obligated to visit this site or read what is posted here, yet they feel compelled to do so, and then they want to flame you about it. Oh goody, lucky you.
Cancer is scary; I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone who has actually survived cancer themselves would belittle anyone else's cancer scare, that is an extreme form of heartlessness that is absolutely foul.
And in other content related notes, I love the Leta and Chuck stories, they make me laugh out loud on a regular basis, and the clog war thing was hilarious.
For every hate mailing troglodyte there are scores of us cheering you on. Keep it up.
181. Jason said:
Awesome, simply awesome.
Personally I look forward to getting hatemail one day.
182. Nefariousnina said:
you suck huge nuggets of monkey shit! i liked it better when you were a man! your husband is a gay-ass for wearing those clogs. your dog has more brains than you and your family combined.
I'm just trying to make it into your next hatemail roundup ;)
Still love the site..and by the way? I put ***25*** pieces of mesquite jerky on my 13 year-old son's head and he didn't flinch once. On behalf of my champ, we challenge Chuck to a "things on your head"-off. (???) You've been SERVED.
183. allibrew said:
Dude, people suck. Time to switch to decaf, angry people. Seriously.
184. DivineDiva said:
Some people just suck. Can't really put more effort into it than that! Btw, My hubby is the same way, Frisky when he is sick , he thinks a lil lovin' goes along way. (to the ER) Any way , I loves ya!
185. Mookypants said:
The hate mail encourages me to click through on as many of your ads as possible every day.
186. belletoes said:
Almost forgot, Leta is beautiful and hilarious, Jon is awesome and my entire family is obsessed with the Chuckles! Hope Jon gets well soon and don't go changin'... to try and please them...
187. eskimo pie said:
My my MY. I'm reading these with a slack jaw. Its the same feeling I get watching Jerry Springer (for 30 seconds until I can't stand it anymore). I feel embarrassed for these people since they can't seem to do it for themselves.
To Robert who said he checks in to "see if you have written anything that would be interesting to someone who isn’t raising a two year old" I say, I don't think so. I have no kids or plans for kids, but I come to this site every day - what a joy! I know other childless types and... God forbid... MEN who enjoy your work as well. Yes, it IS work to write a column daily, update a website, add photos and so on. Hey, you know this but most people think it's techno-magico. If ads on your site make it possible, then so be it.
So keep stacking the meat on Chuck's nose! Hope Jon is better soon. At least he hasn't lost the will to grope.
188. ealasaid said:
Ha!! I went on with my life for a few hours, and came back to LOTS of folks "kissing your ass" =)
By the by. . .if Jon is the Father. . .then is he REALLY a babysitter. . . hmmmmm. Sometimes I let my husband babysit his own kid too.
SO my thought was - a toddler has a tantrum, not because he/she likes feeling like crap- but because he/she might just needs to be acknowledged, like with a hug for example.
Maybe some of the grumpy folks out there are really seeking your undivided attention/love - and haven't gotten out of the toddler tantrum stage yet. . .
189. chelle said:
God, I love your hate mail!
When people attack you with grammatically incorrect slander, don't they know its just amusing? It comforts me to picture you sitting at the computer, reading your hatemail and giggling gleefully instead of trying to get through it with your thick skin still intact. Please, keep it coming!
Now, where did I leave my Capri Sun and ranch rice cakes.....
190. The Lizzy said:
I would also like to see Chuck have his own blog. What can I say, I'm a pathetic person who (according to someone on Livejournal) "has nothing better to do than troll the internet and has no friends except for her dogs."
I would Chuck to join my pack of dog-friends. He and Zorro the Dog (http://www.livejournal.com/users/zorrothedog) and Goggle Dog (http://goggledog.blogspot.com) would be great buds.
191. Zoot said:
I actually don't have anything to say about your commenters (other than, I really hope you get more NICE email than HATE email or I wouldn't blame you for secretly changing your email all together).
MY HUSBAND IS A GROPER TOO. No matter how sick he is, he does the exact same thing. I'm glad I'm not alone.
192. Vida said:
The common denominator in all of these seems to be a feeble grasp of spelling, punctuation, and humor. Maybe these people don't like your site because they can't understand words that are larger than two syllables. You make them feel inferior with words like "explanation" and "oncoming." So instead of just stopping their visits, they come back because they really like to have their panties in a twist. They like having a right to be offended about something.
193. spacecat said:
Yikes, that hatemail was stressful... The only way to counteract the anxiety is to prepare a "Suck It, Vituperrious Trolls" Cookie. It's a lot like the Oh My God Our Plumbing's Fucked Cookie, but substitute mint chip ice cream, Reese's Pieces, and then feed half of it to Chuck and Leta, whilst posting about it and snapping photos for next Chuck Friday.
Bourbon optional.
194. Brian Hagerty said:
"Who wants to hear about your sewer line?" asks Brooklyn. My wife and I, that's who. We want to hear EVERYTHING about your sewer line. Inspired by Jon's suggestion, we recently had our own sewer line bladed just for the hell of it and the plumber took out roots the size of a grapefruit ON IT. Your sewer-line saga may be the most valuable thing I've ever read on the web.
So thanks!
195. Naomi said:
I love the suggestion of getting up from the computer and into the arms of oncoming traffic. Love it. I think it's sound advice for Mia. I hope she takes heed.
196. Holy Schmidt! - Melanie said:
There are always going to be haters. Fuck them and their opinions.
Let's see. Who's the bigger loser? The woman who posts about the daughter she loves and the dog that she loves like a child, or the ass-hats that keep coming back to read more of the things they claim to hate...over and over again?
I've seen GEORGE! weild a chainsaw...Send him after them.
197. AnitaBonita said:
I don't get it. If people don't like to read about you....WHY DO THEY COME HERE TO READ ABOUT YOU!?
It's like turning to a TV channel and watching a show that bugs you. Why!? How stupid is that really?!
198. Tanya said:
Outstanding! Your life doesn't suck enough for you to be scared by a malignant tumor. You should get divorced and kill your babysitter (and carry her head around in the trunk of your car, I guess). Then, and only then, can you shamelessly be scared.
Incidentally, I do find that a desert really helps my stress. Mojave, usually, but Sahara worked pretty nicely too. Too bad you can't IQ-filter a blog.
199. chickwithkids said:
You are a jewel! Your blog is the first one I ever read. I didn't know what the blog concept was about until I discovered Dooce!! Your enteries are captivating and hilarious. It's funny that the very things that seem to piss some people off are the very things that keep me coming back to your site. Kids, husbands, dogs and homes....what could give more abundant writing topics? For those of us who relate to you and look forward to our daily dose of Dooce, don't stop, don't change.
200. MinervaJane said:
People are fucking nuts. And apparently have no grasp of punctuation, spelling or grammar. I'm neither a mother nor a cancer survivor but I find your site endlessly fascinating. And your photos are amazing. I also drop in on Jon's site blurbomat from time to time. Good stuff. Ignore the psychos and keep writing.
201. Katieelliott said:
Who are these people and why can't they just act like the rest of us and just move on when they don't care about something anymore? Is it really necessary to reprimand someone for doing something that others obviously enjoy?
202. jennifer said:
Wow, maybe they feel that you're holding them hostage to read your blog with that semi-automatic firearm you purchased at Wal-Mart?
Or, was Leta's cuteness so intimidating they just couldn't hit the big x in the corner to close the browser and walk away?
203. chickwithkids said:
You are a jewel! Your blog is the first one I ever read. I didn't know what the blog concept was about until I discovered Dooce!! Your enteries are captivating and hilarious. It's funny that the very things that seem to piss some people off are the very things that keep me coming back to your site. Kids, husbands, dogs and homes....what could give more abundant writing topics? For those of us who relate to you and look forward to our daily dose of Dooce, don't stop, don't change.
204. Melina Cross said:
Well your hate mail has confirmed my misanthropic view of the country...what a bunch of dolts. I've never understood (nor will I) why people cmplain about what people choose to post on their blogs, but whatever, these people seem hellbent on being unhappy and spreading their malignancy around.
I particularly "enjoyed" Bill's lovely metaphoric statement about watching a motorcyclist die while wrapping himself around the pole...I know when my father died precisely this way the day after I graduated from college, I wasn't enjoying the spectacle. But the spectacles I do enjoy??? Picture of Leta, Chuck, Jon and clogs...those pictures don't harm or cause pain to anyone.
*stepping cautiously off my soapbox*
205. G-Dawg said:
I love everything about you the hater hate. Especially Chuck!
206. dancingnancy said:
There are some deranged people out there! I'm sorry I get enjoyment out of reading your hate mail. :) Completely insane people.......
I too find it odd that whenever my husband is sick, injured, or half asleep, he is always lucid enough to grab my butt or boobs.......maybe they come wired for it.
207. Lindsay said:
Ok, I could not stop laughing when i read this:
...I’ll probably hit myself in the stomach until I vomit my Capri Sun and ranch-flavored rice cakes all over my monitor....
What a WEIRDO!
Heather, I love your blog, and i'm always inspired by you. Keep up the good work and don't let these idiots get you down.
208. Zaza said:
Ctrl-alt-delete for all hate-mailers. Do you know what the wonderful thing about weblogs is? You don't have to read them. If this weblog annoys you, just don't go here anymore. Isn't it amazing that some things in life can be soooooo easy?!
Am a self-proclaimed Dooce-addict,
fond of the fact that I can see and read about Leta all the way in Europe! I love the Dooce-style. Would get grumpy having to do without it for too long. Get well soon, John. Take care, Heather.
209. G-Dawg said:
I love everything about you the haters hate. Especially Chuck! Okay, JOn and Leta too.
210. G-Dawg said:
I love everything about you the haters hate. Especially Chuck! Okay, Jon and Leta too.
211. dancingnancy said:
There are some deranged people out there! I'm sorry I get enjoyment out of reading your hate mail. :) Completely insane people.......
I too find it odd that whenever my husband is sick, injured, or half asleep, he is always lucid enough to grab my butt or boobs.......maybe they come wired for it.
212. Chloe said:
So it's your fault that I've put on weight since I quit smoking, not the fact that I eat everything in sight? What a relief.
Don't change a thing about your blog. I look forward to the Friday Chuck Photo and just LOVE the monthly Leta letters.
213. Thoughtfloss said:
Hey, I'm a complainer. A happy complainer. I bitch about stuff all the time. But you know what? The stuff that really ticks me off? Like Bush speeches and anything having to do with the supreme court? I don't watch it, read it, so it won't bother me. Maybe these people should get a clue instead of writing the internet equivalent of "you kids get off my lawn!"
214. Susan said:
I see it's been said over and over but who the heck are these people and why do they feel compelled to read a blog they don't like and then send hate mail? Nothing better to do? Talk about sad. I love the one that wants you to get off the internet. Like it really is a highway and you're driving really, really slow right in front of him.
P.S. I like hearing about Chuck and Leta and Jon and his clogs.
215. G-Dawg said:
Crap! I gotta' get the hang of this posting thing. (CLEARLY!) Sorry! ;-)
216. chickwithkids said:
You are a jewel! Your blog is the first one I ever read. I didn't know what the blog concept was about until I discovered Dooce!! Your enteries are captivating and hilarious. It's funny that the very things that seem to piss some people off are the very things that keep me coming back to your site. Kids, husbands, dogs and homes....what could give more abundant writing topics? For those of us who relate to you and look forward to our daily dose of Dooce, don't stop, don't change.
217. Rebecca said:
I think it's the repeat hatemailers that take the cake here. If you can't stand something so much why.do.you.keep.reading.it?
218. Urs said:
i like the one from bill. gave me a chuckle.
219. AChildIsBorn said:
Wow. Haters, all of them. I get really friggin' giddy when I get one comment on my blog. But perhaps that is preferable to reams of hatemail that seem to go hand-in-hand with a much-read site.
Although those are some pretty funny letters. By people with way too much time on their hands, apparently.
Go Dooce.
220. lucyintheskywithzirconium said:
I am an old broad and I love reading you Heather. I am 55 and think you have the greatest sense of humor. No one comes close to you other than my other favorite, www.waiterrant.net. He is really good too but you have that sweet, sweet baby girl to add to the fun. Fuck em all that don't like you. That's always been my motto. :):):)
221. Oplopanax said:
Let's face it, the hate mailers got posted on a site they read every day (apparently). So, you tell me, who is the idiot?
222. Jennifer in Ohio said:
Didn't anyone ever tell these hate mailers- what you put out comes back three-fold? Apparently not.
And I LOVE Chuck fridays!
223. Pioneer Woman said:
Hohohahaheeheehehhehhuhhuhhaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahohohohohohehheh.
Haha.
Heh.
Heehee.
This post made me laugh out loud. I love reading hate mail. Other people's, that is.
224. Jessica said:
Capri Suns and ranch-flavored rice cakes. Chocolate. Pictures of doubled stuffed cookies drizzled with m&m's and carmel. Grapfruit ON IT! Chuck's Friday night chow. OMG! I'm SO HUNGRY!!!!!!
Much Love to you Heather. I adore your blog.
225. Stu mark said:
Dooce,
Sorry, dude, you don't deserve the hate mail, not at all. You may not be everyone's cup of tea (although I don't get that, as I would have assumed that your prose was pretty much universally dug), but there's no call for anyone to treat you with such disdain and disrespect. As a full-time husband and father (there I go, playing the "full-time husband and father" card again), I love your posts. All of them, the ones about Chuck and the ones about Jon and the ones about your own perspective, your own inner monologue. Best of all, your monthly letters to Leta are so very moving, providing me with inspiration to pay deeper attention to my own kids.
Thanks for everything, Heather.
226. deannie said:
I like that you write about things you have lived and remarkably (FYI for those folks who have never had a smart two year old daughter), they resemble very much the life every mother out there has had at some point. It will always be infinitely interesting to observe these young ones as they grow and blossom into people that well, we would just want to be friends with anyway. That is how I have always felt about my daughter. And as is the case with my friends, there are days I wish they would leave me alone.
All I know is that I hope I get to chat with you next year in Chicago since I couldn't make it to San Jose this year.
Glad you could laugh about this today, many hugs,
227. monkey said:
Hmm. There are some crazy twats out there. But Dooce...you attract the craziest twats of 'em all.
And what is it with sick men? My husband could be on his death bed and he'd still want to get freaky. It must be encoded somewhere on male DNA.
228. molly said:
.....OF FRANCE!
Oh and I clicked on an ad.. just for Mia..
229. rivetergirl said:
That seals it ... I will never understand human nature. To get to a blog, a person must either type in the address or click a link. As far as I know, there aren't legions of doocians forcing people to read a la Clockwork Orange. People seriously need to step away from the computer, ffs.
230. kayti said:
err i'm 20, was never a mormon and dont have kids.. and i still check dooce everyday. i must be subconsiously raising a two year old in my sleep and thats why i still find it interesting, unlike robert. cuz clearly no one enjoys reading about people with 2 year olds if they dont have one. no one.
231. tracy.e said:
What in the world motivates people to send emails like that?
It's funny that there are "repeat" offenders...they come to the site, read a post, get so angry steam is coming out of their ears, send hatemail, and then come back for some more the next day...
232. FinellySpinelly said:
Whuddup Dooce? This is my first time to comment on your blog, but I read it every day and am always amused by your words. I don't know how or why these haters are so passionate about the way they feel. You read it, and you either like or you don't. If you don't, don't come back. It's that simple.
I think it's great you have a sense of humor about it.
Not that you need my validation...what with over 200 comments and all, but keep rockin on. I dig it.
233. Stu mark said:
To any women out there who don't understand the death-bed butt-grab, it's a procreation thing. If we think we're dying, we want one last chance to create progeny. It's not even a conscious thing. We are indeed wired that way, and I am confident that we're not the only species who experiences this interesting little bit of biology.
234. Katie said:
Ugh. If these people weren't so hilarious in their epic hate-drama, I'd kinda wish they were squished like bugs by a giant clog.
I LOVE hearing about Leta and Jon and Chuck. Maybe if you took them all somewhere else in the big, wide world and then wrote about it, some of these people would be happy. Or not. I also like dessert and sewer line posts, though naturally not at the same time. And enough about the ads already, morons; they're barely noticeable. GAH.
235. Cheech said:
It's obvious these hate-mailers are jealous of you because 1) they don't have the support you do (whoever said it was failure when you have to ask for help is a fuck-nut), and 2) they have to sit in an office all day working for someone else, while you are able to work from home, enjoy what you do, employ your husband, and stay at home with your husband and daughter.
If anyone is doing it right, I'd say it was you.
236. CJ said:
First, the movie with Chuck was awesome. I found it endearing that you call him puppy, too.
I'm happy to see your attitude with the hate email. Goodness, what a bunch of losers.
It looks like you get amusing emails as well, and I hope they are numerically superior in addition to containing superior content.
237. Cosy Perham said:
OMG, I wasn't going to comment because everything I was thinking has already been said (and I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't know Fridays were Chuck-Fridays) but I tried to move on with life and all I keep thinking about is how fucking lame some people are. Good thing you're a stronger person than I -- I'd be submitting those haters' email addresses to all the porn/spammer sites I could find.
Oh why can't I learn from your doings?!
You'd think these people would learn some proper English with all the blog reading they're doing.
238. marie b. said:
I'm considering sending you hate-mail after following that link to the glorious, well-lit, sugary dessert post. Torture!
Well, hate-mail or an all-expenses paid trip to Barbados for pointing out the amazing things than can be done with Nutella and cookies.
I mean, really: what can't Nutella do? (It's great on Pringles. Trust me.)
239. debbie j. said:
I check your site once a day and am only disappointed when there's not a new post up yet. You make me laugh out loud sometimes! Keep up the good work (and ignore those ignoramuses) (sp?)!!
240. Foo said:
I want you to know that I just registered with Typekey just so I could comment on this hilarity. These people say they can't relate to your writing. Well, maybe that's a shortcoming on their side:
1) I have no kids (and no plans for kids) and still very much enjoy reading about Leta.
2) I am a cat owner but find Chuck adorable and entertaining. I hope he got some of those treats you balanced on him. He earned them.
I struggle to take seriously the rantings of anyone whose grasp of spelling and grammar is so tenuous.
Keep up the great work. And I hope gropey Jon gets well soon.
241. Doll said:
I don't understand people who send hate mail. Why not just stop coming to the site if it offends them so much? Instead they have to get all worked up and send shitty words to someone who isn't hurting anyone, and get them all worked up. Man, people with that kind of negative energy and ill will should seriously do the world a favor and play in traffic. I used to have a bumper sticker that said, "Save the Planet, Kill Yourself". People are assholes.
242. William said:
According to your hate mail...you are like the Internet version of Kathy Lee Gifford.
243. erink said:
it amazes me how much time people waste throwing hate out into the world. i wonder, who is forcing them to read your site? sure, i find the ads a little annoying at times, but if i had the ability & know-how, i'd totally have a website that i'd pimp out with ads.
244. Erin Monahan said:
For people who dislike you, they sure do read/comment a lot eh?
I just discovered your blog a few weeks ago. Sorry, I missed the whole "getting dooced" story, and honestly, I'd heard the ohrase, but didn't realize that was you until a few days ago.
I've heard you got an ego after that, and that your writing style changed. I don't know what it was before, but I love your blog, your style, your Leta stories, the dog stories, all of it, and that was true before I knew you were a "star" so to speak.
I'd be more likely to be upset if you had that adorable little girl and DIDN'T blog about her. Glad to see you just make fun of the idiots and don't give them any undue consideration.
245. schmutzie said:
People seem to have a hard time grasping the weblog genre called Personal. Maybe when their brains have caught up to this new-fangled blogging business, they will realize that personal blogs are just one kind of thing among millions of kinds of things that nobody cares if they are a fan of or not.
PS. I like Chuck.
246. ebradford said:
Dooce,
I have been reading your blog for over a year. I find the things you write about to be enjoyable to read. More important though, I find the lens in which you view events in your life and write to be interesting and fascinating. I really only have two questions for you...Does your husband Jon get this much hate mail for the things he writes about on his blog? Will he post some of the hate mail like you did on your entry for the day so the rest of us can see what people are thinking and writing? That would be AWESOME! Thanks for keepin' it real.
247. tinker said:
Clearly, these people are sitting in front of computers with guns pointed at their heads or, maybe, private parts, being forced to read Dooce. Maybe some are having their tonenails ripped out one by one... others are sitting blindfolded, hog-tied in a dark, damp basement as Dooce is read over and over again. We must find where these poor hostages are, we must find them and save them. I shall start an organization to save these people and I shall call it: Quest to Find the Poor Souls that are Forced to read Dooce, Against their will, Being forced to have these angry emotions and then writing boring, ugly and useless hatemail or "QTFTPSTAFTRDATWBFTHAEATWBUUH"
Anyone in...
248. thejoyof said:
Hilarious! People soooooo angry about a website they seem to visit daily. By their own choice!
Duh.
249. TanyatheMama said:
"If you can't say something nice,
SHH...say nothing.
Take a bit of good advise,
SHH...say nothing."
-Thumper
If a damn cartoon rabbit knows this, why don't we?
250. Liz said:
Well, now I'm confused. Are you the worst mother in the world, flagrantly leaving the raising of your child to others, or you are completely obsessed with your own child (and dog!) to the exclusion of all else? Geez. I love, love, love that picture of Chuck--his sweet little face with the "go to hell" look ON IT.
251. Deserbilly said:
Who cares about hatemail from repressed, bitter hatebags. Lets hear more about the boobgrabbery.
252. Sheryl said:
Yes, Chicken Liver, it's a horrible thing for so many people to pitch in and help take care of Leta. Studies have shown it's really, really bad if too many people care about a child. By the way, just to show that I'm not kissing Heather's ass: Heather, don't you DARE come to my blog. I'm banning your IP.
253. Kukka-Maria said:
UGH! Seriously! Don't these people realize that they have control over what they read on the internet? I would hope, if they decided you were writing drivel that was beneath them, they would say, "Wait! I just remembered my legs work and I can walk away!"
Shit. Maybe they are in wheelchairs. Well, the good news is they don't have to walk anywhere...they can simply click the mouse and leave.
Shit. Maybe they don't have hands. If that is the case, the people to whom they dictate these emails should be shot. Period.
Nice work, Heather. I come back because I enjoy what I read--not because I wish to berate you.
254. vedjen said:
Good god, you have a lot of comments.
It never ceases to amaze me that people feel they need to share their assvice on what they feel you should write about. Isn't that why there are just as many blogs as there are ads on your site ("272937" to be exact!?)? If you don't like it go away, find another site that writes about what you want to read, and shut the fuck up.
255. nena_chiquita said:
I came acrros your blog about 3 months ago and I have been reading it ever since. I really don't understand all that hatemail. Like some of your readers already said, if you don't like it or find it boring and uninteresting, don't read it. It is really that simple.
I love your blog and I find your entries about Leta adorable. I guess that's because I love babies... I absolutely adore them. So keep writing whatever the hell you please. It's your blog and if they don't like what you're writing, just click the close icon. It is really THAT simple.
256. Alexandrialeigh said:
Heather, I cannot believe you actually read all of those crappy emails. You are a strong gal.
Keep up the great writing! I don't have kids but I ADORE reading about Leta. And Chuck. And Jon's clogs/cancer (LOOK! In the same sentence!).
257. dunderfunk said:
dooce makes me smile on a daily basis...
thanks heather...
"ass hat" heh...funny...
(i want your dog)
dunderfunk
258. girl said:
How dare you encourage people to help treat stress in their live with a desert?
Hell, if I'd know that I could treat stress with a desert, I would have moved to Death Valley YEARS ago.
259. Trisha said:
So they read your blog but claim they don't like it? They're either idiots who don't mind wasting their time doing something they don't like (and don't have to do) or really they do like it. And if they don't like your blog why do they bother to take the time to send an email? Don't they have anything better to do? Weird world isn't it?
260. punky said:
oh sweet jesus ... if you don't like her blog don't read it. It's not rocket science, folks.
[goes back to drinking tequila out of a sippy cup]
261. BeachMama said:
Just one question? Why on earth do these people continue to come back and read if they truly hate your blog so much? And on top of that, why on earth do they waste their time writing you an email? Ok, that was two questions. But, really, come on people.
262. Beth in Michigan said:
Damn, you'll never get to my valuable and poignant comment! Just as I was unable to read the 248 that came before mine.
Oh well, I just want to complain because you didn't give out any email addresses for those whiners, how do you expect us to fill their inboxes with hate and vitriol if you are not forthcoming with the eddresses? Sigh.
Also, I think Jon has the plague. Either that or the flu, hard to tell.
Seriously though, I hope he feels better soon and that you have a very Happy Chuck Friday!
263. number14 said:
Screw it. I'm having a bad day. I'm heading out to the Gobi for some delicious desert. Janet -- care to join me?
264. melissa said:
ok. that was awesome. First there should be some major concern if anyone in your immediate family gets the West Nile Virus. AVON stock would be in real jeopardy if it turns out #1 you're not using skin so soft with such access to it and #2 that it doesn't work as well as everyone thinks - which we all know it does. And I love hatemail. Morons with keyboards are hilarious.
265. tinfoilsoldier said:
I am not a mother, but I love hearing about leta and the things that happen in your lives
I have found this new feature of my browser, called the address bar, that lets me change what website I am looking at. your hate mailers should check it out, it is usually located above the website you are looking about
266. jes said:
Oh, Mia needs to get over herself. Seriously: if someone doesn't like what you have to say, why do they continue to visit?
I guess we all have our opinions. For example: the dessert leading to America's obesity problem? IT NEEDED AN EXTRA SCOOP OF ICECREAM.
Other than that, it was good.
267. lithemama said:
I find it funny that people complain about your lives not being interesting enough to be "on the internet" because most of the time i think "wow, i wish my life was that interesting", except maybe for the dog obbsession, but who can knock free entertainment. Props yo!
268. twoan7els said:
Please don't change a thing!! As a stay at home Mom of two, I really appreciate your wit and humor. Some days it's the highlight of my day. If someone doesn't like your site they should not read it, and keep their venom to themselves. It's people like that that are the downfall of society. My momma taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. It's a shame they weren't taught that!
269. MetroDad said:
Heather...Boggles my mind that you get this sort of hate mail. What kind of assface has time to write hatemail? Sorry that you have to deal with this crap. Anyway, I know that you're white and you live in Utah. However, I also know that you love all kinds of music. Therefore, I leave you with the wise words of Mos Def & Talib Kweli...
I'm sick of the hater-players, bring on the regulators
With the flavors like a farm team fucking with the majors
You runnin your mouth, but don't really know what you be talkin about
You should retire, grab that complimentary watch, get the f*ck out!
Screw the haters! Keep up the great writing!
270. Monyikka said:
I live in Arizona. That may be the reason for my (near)obesity. Stupid deserts.
I guess I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said, but the fact that this imbeciles take the time to email has motivated me to leave a comment.
I love your blog, I read it daily right after checking my email.
You rock!
271. twoan7els said:
Please don't change a thing!! As a stay at home Mom of two, I really appreciate your wit and humor. Some days it's the highlight of my day. If someone doesn't like your site they should not read it, and keep their venom to themselves. It's people like that that are the downfall of society. My momma taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. It's a shame they weren't taught that!
272. twoan7els said:
Please don't change a thing!! As a stay at home Mom of two, I really appreciate your wit and humor. Some days it's the highlight of my day. If someone doesn't like your site they should not read it, and keep their venom to themselves. It's people like that that are the downfall of society. My momma taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. It's a shame they weren't taught that!
273. Oh, The Joys said:
It's been a long time since I've left a comment. I feel it is my duty on hate mail day to tell you that I read you every day, I have gone back and read the archives, I love the dog, I love Jon's clogs (sorry), I'm fully on board. .. and what I really love is a blog with a grapefruit ON IT. You GO!
274. Mary Dawn said:
i barely have the energy to comment, let alone send hate mail !!!!!!!!!
275. andy b said:
Lets see if I get this right...
They come to YOUR blog, read YOUR posts, and then complain about it all?
Do these people really exist, or are you just making shit up?
Anyway, keep up the good work...I'll read you every day even if you write for a month and a half about your foot fungus.
andy
276. kierewalker said:
Love, love, love reading about you and your adorable daughter/dog/husband.
Just out of curiosity, how much mail would you say you get every week? Do you have a guess as to what percent of it is hate-motivated? Surely it can't be more than five percent...you're way too cool to be disliked by more than five percent of the internet.
277. sweetney said:
this quite literally made my week. my very bad, very troll-ridden week.
thank you, lady.
278. Wonked said:
I love how you write and enjoy your subject matter immensely. Plus, you are totally a badass photographer. Still, John is kind of a fairy.
279. xtinemarie said:
Your hatemail reminds me of this!
280. gorillabuns said:
why do they think you would care about their one-sided boring opinions in the first place? little people wanting to heard. i'm sure they are tired of the illusive "man" bringing them down, so they need to bring you down in the process.
281. curlyhairday said:
Wow.
I'm fascinated:
1. By your site. Find you funny, interesting, wicked, truthful, well-written.
2. That you made it through reading all of these messages and managed to post ON IT.
3. That www.trainingmykidsforslavelabor.net isn't already taken!
4. What's more, that www.trainingmykidsforslavelabor.COM isn't already taken! (I gotta reserve me a domain and have me some kids.)
5. How some people are reacting to what you've written about your cancer. It makes me want to thump them in the nose. With a clog.
282. xtinemarie said:
Oops, the link doesn't work --- there's hatemail for Jack Lord up on The Smoking Gun. It reminds me of all the hatemail people sent to bloggers. To a T.
283. cmhl said:
Heather, you need to gather up all of those hate emails, and exclaim with great glee "fuck all ya'll", and light them up!
I say this with great authority, as I sit munching on mini-oreos on my couch, feet up w/ my crocs on, contemplating when I might next hire a babysitter.
and Chuck? best. dog. ever.
284. willo said:
Hey Heather. I rarely comment, but I read every update & just wanted to say all these people are idiots... why do they even read if it gives them such a violent reaction? oh ya, because they're idiots! haha.
Anyway, I love you JUST the way you are... and of course, if I stop liking it for some reason, I'll just stop reading. duh! FEEL THE FREEDOM, PEOPLE. Big hugs to you & your family. xoxo
285. Cadbury said:
ha ha.
you probably hate the hatemail; but as a frequent reader, they are worth it just for your responses!
286. erin said:
I don't have kids, will never have kids, yet I still love to read about Leta.
I don't have dogs, will never have dogs, but without my Former Congressman fix I just don't feel right on Fridays.
You must be doing something right to stir up these emotions in people - keep it up! The haters can just suck it. SUCK. IT.
287. Nicole said:
One question: Do these hatemailers send you more hate mail after you post these? If so, please post the hate mail squared once you receive it.
I heart this site for its ability to make me bang my head on my desk laughing and making me cry at the obvious love you have for your family.
288. chollyson said:
Why do people, who clearly do not like you, constantly check your site and painstakingly scour every word for something to bitch about.
Is there some class out there where your website is required reading?
I just don't understand it.
289. FishyGirl said:
I tend toward the hypochondriac/hysterical side of life, so if Jon doesn't have West Nile Virus, it must be viral meningitis, or maybe the bird flu. Either way, hope he is feeling better soon. Oh, and the groping thing? Why do guys do that? DH does that, too, and since I'm 6 months pregnant and ginormous, it makes me absolutely bat shit - I'm gonna staple his arms behind his back if he doesn't watch it.
As for the hate mail, that is some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. I found you just after Leta was born, I think because my third was born a little over a month after, and have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, but your words, and the way you craft them, make all those experiences beautiful. If they can't see that, well, keep publishing the hate mail for our entertainment value. That's fun.
290. M.Thom said:
I, myself, would be happiest if you would put a new picture of Chuck up everyday, along with a picture of Leta...maybe of them together sometimes. I have a crush on your dog (don't tell my fiance), and I think that your daughter is both beautiful and entertaining.
I thought that most bloggers wrote about, you know, what was on their minds. I hope that I am not pissing the world off, moaning about how my transmission went on my car and I have been stuck at home for two days and have to shell out money for a new car this weekend. Eh, I don't care if I am pissing them off, really. After all, it's MY blog...just as this is YOUR blog.
For the record, I am firmly in favor of clogs...as my five pairs of Crocs can attest to. Sorry!
291. thisgirlremembers said:
Ok, wait a minute here. No one cares about a wedding except for the bride? Hmmm... an extra little dollop of bitterness buried in there, perhaps?
First of all, um, what about the groom? Wouldn't he, presumably, care about it? (Or are we talking shotgun wedding here?) And has she ever MET a mother-of-the-bride?
292. kleja said:
Oh they're all just jealous but you know that right?
You're a good person, thanks for the laugh.
293. Donny said:
To those who send you negative comments about your parenting style and all other issues Dooce:
It would be cliché to say you are just jealous. While that may be the case with some of you, others are just spiteful. You do need to realize, however, that you took the time out of your day to write to Heather because you feel the need to have your opinion, your voice, heard by someone else. It would have been just as easy to close your browser and never come back to Heather's site.
Is Heather a perfect mother? I doubt it. But from what I've observed she's a pretty good one who cares very much for her daughter. Sure beats the hell out of that mom who let her boyfriend beat her child to death instead of kicking him to the curb, know what I mean?
And is there something wrong with a baby's biological father "babysitting" her? Seriously now! Can we get any more stereotypical? I would love to spend more time with my son. If I could spend all day with him I'd be ecstatic. I'd love to be able to wake up and spend each day with him if I could. Who says it has to be momma? Get a real job? What better job than to spend this opportunity caring for his daughter and the woman he loves? Damn, that's a dream!
As others have said... if this blog bothers you do not, DO NOT come here to read it! I get a kick out of it. My fiancee teases me about it. I read it and laugh almost every morning.
One last thing before I stop rambling for now... NOT ALL THAT IS PUT ON THE INTERNET IS AS IT SEEMS. I know, this might devastate you, but some of what Heather writes is exaggeration! Not everything is to be taken as 100% literal!
Heather, please continue to be human and making the rest of us, well MOST of the rest of us, feel better because we read your blog and realize we're not the only ones who aren't perfect.
Rock on!
- DP -
294. mathew said:
KIND REGARDS â€â€™ In sarcastic voice to myselfâ€
That just might be the best sentence ever written in English.
295. fiercekitty said:
Hilarious. For what it's worth to you, I'm a 21 year old professional woman who hates most children and is determined to have her ovaries nullified before the age of 30...and I love reading your site.
Oh yeah, I'm also a cat person.
296. Kelli said:
Don't let it get you down, Dooce.
You know that we here all think you rock.
297. ThatBadgerChick said:
Goddammit, I am forever encouraging my readers to treat their stress with generous applications of vodka, and no one ever sends ME hatemail. I feel ripped off.
298. Katrinka Bobinka said:
You get hatemail too? I am so frigging jealous! My poor pathetic little blog is so lonely! Oh woe is me!
299. lizabithann said:
They just. don't. get it. These people that right hatemail truly do not understand, nor were they probably targeted as an audience for this website. They should take a deep breath and smile a little.
300. Jodie said:
I don't care what the mean peeps say. I think you're fabulous!! I read everyday no matter what the subject and I like it all. Even if I didn't like the subject per say, it doesn't matter.....because I can change the channel..I mean the page. Good grief people get a life and leave Heather alone. And I LOVE Chuck Friday's. Mean people suck!