I'm so sorry this has happened. I hope your recovery is speedy for sure. You'll be in my thoughts.

Heather, so sorry to hear about this! Best wishes, and congratulations on coining the term "malignant blogger." Add that one to the Armstrong Media Lexigraphical Legacy for sure.

Heather, the c-word (no, not THAT one!) is so scary. Keep us updated. In the meantime, you're in my thoughts and my (liberal, Episcopal) prayers. Try to keep your mind off of things by getting drunk and having lots of chocolate. Um, I mean by spending time with family and friends. All the best.

Well, I'm extremely glad you're being jovial. Sounds like after the biopsy it *will* be over, therefore the duration of your cancer will be one week and probably jus that post (and maybe a picture of the lump once it's in a jar).

Seriously keep your chin up (Dare I say it, I think I will), it is always blogging material...

Billygean

Wishing you the best of luck with all of that, and I hope everything turns out as well as is possible.

Eeek. Cancer is scary. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jon, Leta, and Chuck.

Heather, I wish you all the best with your treatment and recovery. It's amazing that you can be so positive and upbeat about all this. Take care.

I was wondering yesterday when I read your entry why you weren't going into more detail about the cancer issue. I can tell it is obviously a very scary subject that you want to attempt to make humorous -- that actually seems like a great way to deal with such a worrisome thing. They always say that laughter is the best medicine - and I am sure in the Armstrong household there is always a lot of fun and laughter. I will pray that you get through this unscathed. Luckily, I have known several people who had this same diagnosis and have gone on to live normal lives with no relapses. My uncle, the palest mother fu**er in the WORLD, had skin cancer as a child and he never even was told by his parents until he was like fifty years old. And he never had a relapse. Just smear on that SPF and I am sure it won't happen again to you.

Wishing you - and Ed - lots of luck. (Post a picture of Ed!)

I know. I am sick.

I'm glad that you had it looked at, that is some scary shit. My dad has a nasty thing on his arm that I'm pretty sure is skin cancer, prompting me to pester him about it every time I see him. He's had cancerous nasties removed before and my mom has practically had to hog-tie him and drag him to the doctor's office every time.

I want to crack a joke but I'm genuinely concerned for you. Still, I'm glad you could crack several jokes. Thanks for breaking it to us gently.

I hear you on the crappy self-paid insurance thing. Check and see if you are eligible for a Health Savings Account. That's how we're funding my (suprise!!) pregnancy and my husband's first dental exam in like, oooooh...ten years.

Good luck to you and Ed.

I hope everything goes well for you. Cancer is scary...I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 24. My doctor kept telling me, "It's the best type of cancer you can get. It's the easiest to cure." I believed in him, and sure enough, I no longer have it.

Fast forward two years, to when my husband and I got married. (This was just a little over a year ago.) Two weeks before out wedding, I noticed a large mass on his neck, and I immediately freaked the fuck out, convinced he had thryoid cancer. Two weeks after we married, it was confirmed that he also had thyroid cancer.

Unlike dealing with my own, I was unable to keep humor as a savior this time, but luckily he was. He calmed me down, reminded me everyday that everything turned out fine with me. I was infinitely more scared for him than I was for myself, especially since my mil's neighbor (the neighbor was a 31 year old man, my husband was 30) had just died from the same type of thyroid cancer.

Point of my story: Please don't lose sight of the fact that you will be ok.

Cancer sucks. If anyone can beat it, it's you. My mother had the same type of cancer a few years ago, had it cut out, and hasn't had a problem since. I hope things go just as well for you.

Now on to more important topics -- what IS IT with people and needing to point out zits? My boyfriend does it every SINGLE time I get one. I am very self-conscious about my problems with adult acne, I see a dermatologist, I use three different prescriptions, and he knows all of this. But still, he feels the need to tell me "You've got a zit on your cheek", like I'm going to say "Oh! Thank you so much for telling me! I hadn't noticed, and I was hoping that would appear soon. Hooray!".

However, I'll go the whole afternoon with a hunk of food stuck in my teeth and he won't alert me.

sorry about the cancer, but it could be worse.

you could have found out that you were pregnant with sextuplets.

take that in for a moment... six kids in you, six kids come out, hospital expenses out the wa-hooo, six screaming babies, six mouths to feed, six diapers to change! and only the two arms god gave you..

makes cancer seem like a day trip to the spa eh?

eeek! Big suckage :(
Time to play & really listen to the Baz Luhrmann track Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen). Or get a ladder and fix that O-zone hole.
Seriously though, good luck with it. I can't see cancer - of any kind - not sucumming to the Dooce effect. Now, if you'd have been wearing clogs when you were younger in the sun . . .

My dad has had a couple spots removed that were Basal Cell Carcinoma. I remember the first time he told me about one of them and it scared me to death, but don't panic, it's pretty easily taken care of.

I have to laugh at the thought of "Big Ed" keeping in a jar... or maybe we should call it "Special Ed"?!

Hope everything goes well for you!

Seriously.. Don't. Panic.

Think of it this way - you're the martyr for your family. Don't they say 1 out of 3 people develop cancer? So you've taken it on so Jon and Leta don't have to.

The things you do for your family!

Seriously, all the best. I hope the treatment is successful and that you have no more problems.

Yikes! I hope everything turns out for the best. Keep us posted.

I say you place Ed right on the window sill till Ed developes cancer as well. That'll teach him.

think of it as a warning sign that some of us never get. you now know to check yourself routinely for any skin changes. my mom gets these so i have to keep an eye out myself. i cringe everytime i recall her sending me out on the beach (when i was much younger) with just my bottoms on!
my mom also feels compelled to point out any zit on my face. in the depths of morning sickness we went to have lunch with her on father's day. she sat across from me and tapped her nose to point out what was on mine. as if i could have gotten my mascara on WITHOUT noticing something that big! my husband still does that when he imitates her.

My husband and I are also self employed and pretty much have to have brain surgery before our insurance kicks in. However, it has also challenged us to actually work hard to keep healthy. I also think it's important to note that the third (maybe second) leading cause of death in this country is our health care system, whether it's a denial for care, medication screw-ups and magic pills, dangerous hospital viruses etc. It's the most expensive and least effective system in the world. Having just major medical may not be a bad thing. Here is hope to a great recovery

So when ARE you going to tell your doctor about the blog... or are you afraid that another person with intimate knowledge about your naughty bits is going to start referring to you as dooce?

Delurking to say the above posters are absolutely right, this is highly treatable and I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm also totally on board with the inappropriate naming of things (haha, Ed?). My grandmother had a masectomy several years ago, and named her fake boob Blossom. As in, "Oh shoot, I forgot to bring Blossom to the barbecue!"

I, too, am coming out of hiding to wish you luck.

So, good luck. I hope it's a quick road to 100% wellness.

And I hope that road is covered with chocolate and a river of vodka runs beside it. Because it's been my experience that, in times like this, alcohol and candy are not just allowed, but REQUIRED.

Holy crap, you made being diagnosed with cancer funny. Impressive.

My cousin works at M.D. Anderson and he also insists that skin cancer is the one to get as it's the most curable.

I'm going to the beach tomorrow- I think I'll go for the spf 30 instead of the 15.

For real though, it sounds a little scary and I wish you and your fam all the best.

My dearest Heather. I am so sorry to hear of your recent diagnoses. I too, am an incredibly young cancer patient (I'm only 21). I too, have a young child (born February 2nd, 2004). I understand the terror that comes with a diagnoses of cancer, even if it is "the most common" or "the most curable". This isn't an easy time, and no one expects you to be sane. You and your wonderful family are in my thoughts.

Best of luck, you are in all of our thoughts.

i'm sorry - i hope you get well soon and that they are able to excise everything asap.

Hi Heather,
Don't fret too much about your Basal Cell. I personally have had two separate occurances of it, RIGHT SMACK ON MY NOSE!

I've had both removed, and had to deal with a huge honkin' wrap of gauze on it both times. It heals in about a week. It's a pain to deal with, but thankfully, its not the "dangerous cancer." It's a good excuse to go buy one of those luxuriously large sun hats, and hey, every gal needs shoes to go with the hat.

I wish you a speedy recovery, darlin! and get yourself some sunscreen!

Ed, indeed, is a lovely name for your cancerous blob. Perhaps a middle name? Or placing it as the centerpiece on your dinner table, and allowing Leta to lovingly fondle her very own piece of Mama, while wearing a HazMat suit?

Bonus: she'll already have her Halloween costume!

I too am also so glad it is not melanoma. My father died a little over a year ago from Malignant Melanoma (he was only 60!)

It started with a mole on his back, which they removed and he was fine for some years. Then it spread everywhere. It is a horrific cancer to have (like which ones aren't, right?)

I'm praying for you, Heather. Please keep us updated.

I wish you luck!

And you also got me thinking because ever since I started to live in Arizona I've been less careful about the sun, and who cares if I burn. Now, I'll be extra careful.

I'll be thinking about you.

My Grandmother and my mother have had to deal with this, it is not fun but compared to other ailments it is something that can be worked though. Just think you can cover the scar with a Tattoo if you want to spice it up. My thoughts are with you on this. I have a feeling with my family history and lack pale skin it will be my turn next. And yes, Sun hats would be fetching on you I am sure!

Best of luck, Heather.

Best of all the motherfucking luck.

I should have said "many decades to come" ...because saying many years kinda sounds like it could be twelve or fifteen (which is a lot more than five), but I really meant something like seventy.

*crawls off into corner in shame*

So sorry about the scary news. I'm sure you'll come out of it fine and Ed will come out dead, which is As It Ought To Be.

Since you didn't have comments on the last post, here's one on Superman Returns (ha! thwarted!): How crappy a mom is Lois?? I love Superman. Mostly loved that movie. I suspend disbelief embarrassingly easily. But I had a real hard time mustering any sympathy for a mother who dragged her kid into dangerous situations.

Which meant I viewed the whole movie directly, without the all-powerful finger filter. Oh well.

Oh, and Chris Reeve? He doesn't dress either way -- his critical bits meander around in different shots of Superman II, especially. Windshield wiper effect. Instressting trivia, yes?

I went to the doc after I got a bad subburn last month. The lady was less then helpful. She said the white dots on one of my shoulders are sun damage which could one day lead to my getting cancer, but that you can't get it from being sunburned on day. She said nothing to help me, offered no advice and sent me packing with some cream to help it stop itching. I was pissed to say the least.

Health insurance isn't much if you have a CRAPPY DOCTOR!

Hang in there, Heather. My best guy friend was diagnosed with cancer when he and I were both 13, and I agree with what others have said: laughter does wonders when your body is willfully ignoring your best interests (trust the thyroid girl here). Maybe some reference to Ed and your malignant blogging can make an appearance in the next banner.

no no no! you must name it elmo instead.

and happy early 31st birthday (6.5 days to go!)! then you'll officially be "in your 30s!" :)

My mom had a few of those taken off her face (thanks to the era of basking in the sun with iodine and baby oil...). With the help of an excellent plastic surgeon they only look like tiny wrinkles.

I had a mole removed by a dermatologist-bad idea. The scar on my back is ten times bigger than the pencil sized eraser mole she removed. If you can, see a plastic surgeon to remove it.

I'm so sorry Heather, and to all of your family too. I couldnt help one of my first thoughts was it was my fault, I feel like a cancer jinx, so many people I love, and have loved have had that dreaded C word, I always new I loved your site, but not that much to spread me horrible jinx to you. you all are in my thoughts, and please keeps us posted with every detail, and very often! and wouldnt you know, just yesterday, sitting in the Alaskan sun,I got a horrible sun burn on my shoulders, I'm a dumbass.

I wish I could say something that could be of any comfort, but please know that we are all behind you and are hoping for the best. If I could donate skin, I would. In fact... want some? You'd have a lovely, untannable british patch...

I know how you must feel. The doctors just told me I may have prostate cancer, and I'm 31. I use my ass often, so this frightens me.

I'm glad that your carcinoma is as benign as an abnormal growth can be *(considering that all of us are abnormal growths when you think about it.) and that it is imminently treatable. Please keep us in the loop as your existence and well-being really means something to us... to that invisible group of back-up family members out there.

Goddamn Ozone hole. Did we really need that much aerosol hairspray in the 80's? I blame Pat Benetar.

Ed will be a good name. As Alice's Henry would surely agree, Cancer Particle ain't no Frompy.

Good luck with the removal.

Heather,

The other day, when you talked about how you took Leta out for a day of fun in the water, I thought, "Cool," and then when you mentioned that you lathered her up in sun block, I breathed a sigh of relief... I'm a Red Cross swim teacher during my summers off from college and one of the things that we stress to the children is sun safety, and I think it's really great that you're promoting it as well, through both stories of Leta and your own...

Though yes, it is especially important that children lather up, because statistically, when an adult gets skin cancer, it's usually because of a burn from childhood, not from adulthood... I'm sure you know that, thought I thought your readers would find it informative...

Most importantly, I'm glad to hear that you're going to be okay... My thoughts are with you...

Trev :)

You'll do fine. If you can get through childbirth, this will be so easy. The worst part is the little needles they use to numb the skin around it. I had one removed from my forehead a couple of years ago and they used some kind of "flap procedure" to close it, which left a faint, white scar in the shape of an L on my forehead. Yes, like the loser sign. Sort of my scarlet letter for not using sunscreen.

Ed huh.. that's funny. My friend had a giant mole on her arm (that even had its own 2 strands of hair) removed and now she's named the little keloid scar tissue thing Ed.

Thanks for the link, Heather. I just checked the site and saw the 'shiny bump' and realized I have that on my hip. It's been there for years and I've always wondered why it doesn't look like all the other moles.

I just got married last weekend so I finally have insurance. Kaiser, but they do come with doctors.

I feel a smorgasboard of emotions.

I am sad you have any form of cancer.

I am happy that it is the most common/treatable form.

I am surprised that your body would accept a form of cancer that is so mainstream and common. You are much too cool for that.

I am curious if, after Ed's removal, you will become one of those women that wear the shirts with only one sleeve.

Remember laughter is the best medicine.

i don't know how, heather, but you've managed to make even cancer funny.

and both my parents have had cancer, and i never thought i'd laugh about it. but, "Irrational, yes, but look what being rational got me in the first place: CANCER" is pretty dang funny.

Hi, welcome to the dermatology club. I too have had many biopsy's due to not using sunscreen. I have to go to the dermatologist every 6 months, and never fail she finds another "changed spot". I have 2 basal cell spots removed and many atypical moles removed.
I look at it as a weight loss clinic. I just went in June and had three "spots" treated: a freeze on my nose, a scrape on my neck and a punch biopsy on my leg.
NONE OF THEM HURT. the novacaine works great.
I don't worry about the Basal's, i think of it as Basal is Better. Basal over Melanoma any day.
Good luck , and remember none of my "biopsy's" ever hurt, but I think there is a no lifting clause. so you do get sympathy.

Heather -
I'm sorry you had to go through a few days with a cancer scare. That's an awful thing to have to go through.....thank god it's not melanoma! I don't want to belittle your scare, because, really, cancer? everyone is scared of cancer. But Basal Cell Skin Cancer is barely cancer at all. I've worked with cancer patients for over three years and have yet to come across anyone who had a life threatening bout with it. Here's hoping for a quick recovery and no more skin lesions for your mom to point at!

What a scary thing! You are in my thoughts.
And now, I'm off to the store to buy a vat of sunscreen.

ugh. scary stuff. i'll be thinking cancer-free thoughts for you. i hope all goes well and stays that way. keep us posted.

Here's hoping and praying it's as completely uncomplicated as it sounds.

No worries Heather. The Doc will just lop that unsightly beast off and it's over. I had melanoma at 33 and am still here 8 years later, with nary a relapse, annoying the hell out of friends and family (although I do scare small children with the blue-white glow of my pale, freckled skin). Have your boy take a close look at your body every now and again. Nothing to do with cancer, it's just fun!

Now repeat after me - SUNSCREEN IS MY FRIEND!

Take care.

When you bring home "ED" can you take a picture and post it...or better yet Make shirts with a photo of it on it...saying, "Mr. Ed"

The second-to-last paragraph in your Superman article made me CRY. It's a spectacular piece of writing, Heather. Thank you.

On the subject of skin cancer... As a woman in my early twenties, I'm a little worried about my own susceptibility to the disease, given that my maternal grandmother died at 64 from breast cancer and an aunt on my mother's side is battling some cervical cancer (haha, she didn't give it up til she was married and YET she still got cervical cancer...one more of my parents' reasons against pre-marital sex up in FLAMES...very sad flames. Maybe they're blue.)...

I have this mole on my right shoulderblade that has grown a bit since I first noticed it as a child...and this 4th of July I got such a bad sunburn on my shoulders that they started peeling on Monday. My issue is similar to yours, though...health insurance. I promise I'll get it checked out when I get health insurance.

I stand amazed at the wit, talent, insight, humor and pithy writing you offer all of us. I love reading your page because it's like looking at myself so much of the time...your writing helps me examine my own life from another angle. You are so wonderful to me.

;-)

Mack'sMom:

http://www.alphamom.com/site/dooce/2006/07/12/post_4.html

Oh, damn. Sorry to hear that. My father has had a lot of patches of skin cancer removed, so I think you're right that it's nothing to worry about, but it's still far from pleasant.

Thank you for finally clarifying your previous blog entry!

I know all too well the dangers of the sun. I have a lovely (if lovely means the same thing as hideous) dime sized scar on my lower right leg- the result of having an actinic keratosis removed.

Take care of yourself!

Hi Heather,

I just found out I have one too, on my left ear. I'm going back to the hospital on Monday to have it removed. The consultant said she had never seen one on anyone as young as me before. I am 30. I guess this is the result of living in the cold and cloudy UK! I have never used a sunbed or lived anywhere hot and sunny, just had a few sunburns on holidays.

Reading your post makes me extremely grateful that I live in the UK and will receive all my treatment for free...

I'm sure everything will be ok for both of us!! *fingers crossed*

Best wishes and take care of yourself

Thank goodness you found it now and that your experience can help spread the word about monitoring your skin. Everyone should visit the dermatologist at least once a year for a full-body scan. It gives you peace of mind at minimum!

Heather-

Sorry to hear the sad news. My pasty Irish dad is in his eighties now and has had more of those little bastards removed than I can count. In fact, his nose is somewhat smaller and more handsome now thanks to a recent excavation. The important part, though, is that he's in his eighties... You've got a long way to go, and I'll enjoy reading about every step you decide to share with us.

But, please, go to the doctor and take care of yourself no matter the cost (maybe you can auction a certain pair of ultra-hip clogs to raise money?). I lost the best friend anyone could have to skin cancer at the age of 40 because he had no insurance and was too proud to ask for help. I still go back and forth between incredible anger and gut wrenching sadness whenever I think about him. Staying alive is important.

OK, that does it. My husband has a "scar" like that on his face that appears to be growing. I'm making him an appointment.

Yikes, yikes, yikes. I saw your previous post on this (the conversation) and wondered when you were going to fill us in on the rest. Seriously do hope it is as easy to fix as it sounds like it should be.

My husband had one of those, right smack in the middle of his forehead. It's gone, he wears a hat and some sunscreen and life is going on. Hope yours has the same type of outcome. I like the idea that someone had earlier, of wearing those shirts with one sleeve. But make sure its made out of polyester, and play some BeeGees in the background.

Hi Heather, just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you and hopefully it will all work out as the doctor says.

All my best wishes and good luck with your Ed.

Good luck, Heather. I'm sure you'll pull through like a champ, but I know it's still scary...we all think we're young and invincible and it won't happen to us, even if we did slather ourselves with baby oil and roast like pigs on a spit every summer growing up!!

Anyhow, I'll be thinking about you and sending good thoughts (and plenty of sunscreen) your way!

~Julia

Kick that mole's ass, Heather. Hope you are not freaking out too much with all that is going on!

I was wondering about this the other day when you posted that conversation. My reaction then is the same reaction I had just now: what the fuck? Not fair.
In any event, I'm rotten sorry to hear that you got that shit, but I'm super glad it's something (relatively) small.
That's all I got; everything else I typed sounded smarmy.

wowsers the "C" word...........last year i noticed a mole/freckle on my leg getting a bit bigger and it started to itch so naturally i crapped myself and was thinking about who would conduct my funeral service but i was super pissed off when i went to my doctor and he kind of chuckled in my direction as he named some kind of skin thing that can happen to freckles to make them itch.....................in other words the git made me look like a real faggot in front of his computer!!
Hey i hope you are ok, in the words of evryones favourite champion of "skin disorders"..................BEAT IT!!

Not good news certainly, but in the cancer lottery it might be the number to draw (since you don't have a prostate. Unless you count Jon's).

Keep an eye on them, get 'em removed whenever possible. My brother's had it for a decade, and aside from discomfort and anxiety, the prognosis is very good. Like be mindful but don't freak.

I've had two of those removed so far... one just a couple weeks ago from my shoulder, another from my calf that still irriates me whenever I snowboard... the scar is so huge because it took the doctor three times to remove alll the diseased skin, and on one of those times she poked herself and made ME get an aids test. I was really, really pissed...

Lots of hugs and prayers for a speedy recovery and no recurrance coming from Memphis! I am sure you will handle this with your usual grace and dignity and amazing sense of humor.

(But you did scare me badly with that post the other day and no explanation.)

Your alphamom post about your brother was so beautifully written, it almost made me cry. Precious memories!

yikes. hope youa re able to get through this sanity, bodya nd bank balance in check.

get it tended to and move on... with lots of sunscreen. i had an icky spot in my breast crease that started out as a chicken pock scar but turning into squamous cell cancer. they carved it out and things have been fine in the 7 years since.

hang in there Heather.

Heather,
I hope you can remain positive and that you receive all the support you need during this time and the times to come! Keep us all posted on your progress!!! Take Care.

I had malignant melanoma when I was in sixth grade, and all I have to show for it is a scar on my left arm that looks like lips.

I'm disgustingly incautious in the sun despite that and I'm twenty now. I go for regular checks (annual at this point) at the dermatologist and keep track of potentially funny spots or moles.

Basal cell is usually not too dangerous, and as long as you watch your skin and take caution with your skin and Leta's (who is adorable and very fair) you have nothing to worry about. The good thing about skin cancer is it's VERY EASY to catch in time. :)

Is it ironic that I have a roommate named Ed that acts more like a cancer than a real person? It's not in a jar by a window in the kitchen, but it's in a dark room constantly playing World of Warcraft.

In all seriousness, best wishes for you and your family.

Dooce, all best wishes. My mother had the same, and managed to survive to kick the asses of (a) diabetes, (b) a heart attack, and (c) me. (I should probably stop eating butter.) It's going to be OK. And, health insurance in America? Basically sucks. Love, all respect, and well wishes.

Just wanted to send you a quick few words of support. Hang in there. You'll get through this.

Heather, I was worried for you after yesterday's post. I could regale you with stories of my own, but I won't trouble you with those- you must be hearing a gazillion stories from everyone.

Just know that we're all praying for you, we're all sending you our best healing vibes, and I am so very sorry to hear the news.

I wish you nothing but the best, please keep us informed. You're in my thoughts. Take care.

It happens to the best of us. I hope the removal goes well and clear.

god, that's scary. :-/ y'all are in my thoughts. *hugs*

Heather - I feel badly for you because it is scary. But I, too had basil skin cancer removed from my shoulder about 1 1/2 years ago - and I am fine. I still have to go in every 6 months and my doc always finds something else to cut off, but so far, nothing else has been basil skin cancer. Most likely, you'll have to keep a watchful eye on your skin forever, but it is totally cureable.

If you need any reassurance, I'd be happy to oblige and offer more of my experience.

Best wishes to you.

Heather
You're in my thoughts. Thanks for sharing with us. I wish you a speedy recovery with copious amounts chocolate and Leta snuggles to get you through.

Sending you loves and anti-cancer karma. Be well.

Was so worried about you after yesterday's post - and so glad that it's not melanoma.

Keep up that sense of humor - it will carry you thru!

Thinking of you - and hoping that Jon isn't worrying too much, thereby driving you crazy.

Hi Heather,

You seem to be handling this new challenge well with your extraordinary blend of humor, grace and style. Best wishes for a thorough and speedy recovery!

We're all here for you, Heather. I'm sending hugs from Houston :)

Horrible news. You'll be in my thoughts and, dare I say it...prayers. Good luck with the removal!

Hey Heather,

I personally loved when my doc told me I had "THE GOOD CANCER" 7 years ago. Nice eh?

Problem with mine is that it was like an iceberg so they needed to take a lot more than they had originally intended.

That being said, not to scare you, but to show you that 7 years later, with full body scans every 6 months, I'm still cancer free and I go outside and play in the sun and even lay out sometimes.

Just make SPF 50 your best freakin friend. :)

Breathe deeply and be calm. Keep us updated pls.

M@

Well, that's some scary ass shit right there. But just know that lots of cancers can be managed. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer 3 years ago and I'm still around to bitch and moan about it.

If you need any advice or information please feel free to e-mail me and I'll do whatever I can to help. Hang in there, chica.

Yikes.

I might just put some suncreen on before going to sleep. So, you know, I can be ready for tomorrow.

Best of luck. We're all rooting for you over Ed on this one. May he be confined to the jar.

I am wishing there were a way to erase the day I spent lying in the sun by the pool yesterday, which I am now feeling TERRIBLY GUILTY about. Never again. At least not without a full-body jumpsuit. With complicated zippers.

I think Ed's middle name should be Basil, which is sort of like Basal. I am sending him lots of bad, gnashing-of-teeth vibes, and sending lots of happy, organic-food-on-sale, cute-pair-of-shoes-at-TJ-Maxx ones to you.

Or you could dress very eccentrically to protect yourself from the sun and just tell people it's your meds making you do that. Like the way Diane Keaton seems to wear gloves all the time in public. I think she wants everyone to think she's setting another trend but frankly I'm sure she's hiding something or protecting herself from the sun. (What's up with those gloves, Diane?) Or the lady that used to work at my company who liked to go and walk outdoors on her lunch hour but who would wear a big floppy hat, a big shirt to cover her arms, and yes - gloves. She had had a bout with skin cancer so that's what she did to protect herself. In fact I've even heard it said you should put sunscreen on your hands when you're driving because the windshield doesn't protect against the bad rays. (I don't DO that but I've heard about it.)

Damn, yet another evil consequence of our collective misuse of the ozone layer... increase in skin cancers.

I'm glad it's the easily treatable kind. You'll be fine.

good thoughts heading your direction.

This is pretty scary. First, my 35 year old sister-in-law dies within a week of a sudden bout of lymphoma. Now, someone I went to kindergarten with has melanoma.

Oh, by the way, I am praying for you in my liberal presbyterian but almost agnostic way. I'm sure that's comforting.

Jennifer

Oh my is this frightening! Your typing of this has resulted in my worrying about you as if it were myself instead. Let's hope it is indeed unharmful. If anything were to happen to you.. I-I would just die. Everyday I think about what you're doing up near the mountain side, if you're photographing the latest rush of clouds and what-not, or if Jon is out in public in his clogs again. Do keep us informed and updated, okay? Much love to the family from the family.

I am SO envious!!

I had to get the damned melenoma. And on my BUTT of all places!! Good news is I've been cancer free for almost nine years now. :) Good luck with the excision!!

And welcome to one of the clubs no one wants to belong to. Bleah. Also, my grandmother and my MIL have both had several basal cell cancers removed. So don't sweat it too much. :)

oops. I mean Kick Ed's ass. sorry for the typo!

Hello Heather,

Long time lurker but this entry compelled me to comment.

Kick Ed's fucking ass. We all know that you can.

aw sweetie... my grandpa had that, and it would pop up every once in awhile, and he'd go have it removed... no big deal, but it's scary just the same to think you have something so foreign messing with your body.

*hugs* positive thoughts to you. try not to worry!

And - I totally agree that your next masthead must be 'malignant blogger' :)

You, more than just about anyone I can think of, will kick The Most Common Cancer's ass. There is no way in hell that someone as uniquely fabulous as you would be conquered by something so...common!

Heather, you will be in my thoughts, dear girl. Everything is going to be ok....and when 'Ed' is planted firmly in that jar, we can give thanks to God, and make one of those fabulous cookie concoctions with peanut butter, nutella and ice cream and m&m's. Love and best thoughts for you, John and Leta.....

Oh gosh, I went pale when I read this. I know it will be okay and your doctor rules and everything like that. But NOTHING MUST HAPPEN TO YOU! Full stop.
I have scars on my arm too. I'm still IN my early twenties. This post made me wonder about whether I should start taking better care of them...

Delurking to say that I'm thinking of you, Jon and Leta, and got my fingers crossed for a full and speedy recovery.

Hi Heather

I am truly sorry for for the almost obscene amount of sorryness being expressed here .. oh, and good luck with the big 'C' too.

PS: Do remember to post a piccy of Ed.

And if you get anything else like him while uninsured, well, maybe we readers can all make voodoo dolls of it. Could work, don't laugh, and would be fun - for us, anyway.

Madam Doocelicious, I totally agree with Sandra that you are far too fabulous to give that bastard Ed anything other than a swift kick in the pants and a proper pickling!

My mum had breast cancer and a mastectomy with no health insurance. She only discovered it when she was an actor in a clinical role-play for docs-in-training, and he found a lump. Thankfully, she's so relentless that she argued her way into a 90% discount. Said no to chemo. And 9 years later, is a fierce, one-breasted Amazon.

The health "care" system in America is insane. Medical care is not a privilege for the affluent or corporate-enslaved, it's a basic human right. I now live in Taiwan, and even as a foreigner, I have National Health Insurance, because it makes sense to keep a workforce healthy! It is infuriating and counter-productive that brilliant, talented, hardworking families like yours and mine have to bargain about health choices based on finance rather than need, and I continue to write my representatives. http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/call/congress.htm

I will also be super-clicky on your links. Ed sucks! Dooce rules!

Being exposed to the blood of a million others from a thousand mosquitoes in the past month did not persuade me to dig out my bottle of sunblocking bug repellant, but this did. I will at least remember to wear it today, and I'll try not to swallow any, even though it smells like coconuts. I love reading your words, and I hope that Ed buggers off quickly.

I would also like to apologize on behalf of my sign, which shares the unfortunate name of that bastard disease. Why doesn't anyone ever catch Sagittarius? That sounds like it could be fun.

I've never commented here but read every day. I felt this was important enough to sign in. By the way, I think you're wonderful.

Several years ago I had this scare myself. For 10 years the medical profession told me the grizzly growers were "age spots". One good doctor even tried to burn them off. I kept insisting and one day I finally found a real doc. She took them off immediately. There were the same as yours- but all is well and I have had no other little buggers pop up. I hope and wish the same for you. Take care and be well- Sunscreen is our friend for life :)

ps my sick self can't help but think of the urban legend of the lady with the weird bump, out come thousands of baby spiders. TARANTULAS LIVED IN YOUR YARD, MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! teehee hope you are still able to giggle. i'm still having freaking nightmares about that tree and those rocks... i'm NEVER going to Utah. :)

Also delurking to offer my thoughts and support. Your writing and photography are inspirational. I wish you much success in getting over this current speedbump.

Love from Brooklyn, NY

Right after reading your post, I had a friend tell me that my "Livestrong" bracelet is "out." I wear it for my brother, a melanoma survivor (two surgeries later), and, despite my own beautifully bronzed teen and twenty years, I place it on each day after I've slathered myself with sunscreen since he and I have the same pale, freckly skin. Our family knows the scariness of all of this, and we all wish you a quick surgery, an easy recovery, and, most of all, that Ed remains an only child. Take good care.

I'm so sorry to hear about this Heather. Hopefully it all gets taken care of and all will be well. Thinking of you.

It amazes me how you handle everything with such grace and humor. I SO admire that.

Love and hugs to you and your sweet family, Heather.

Earlier this year, I had a squamous cell carcinoma removed from my left shoulder. This type is more likely to spread than your type. (Ha, ha, mine's more deadly!) I did however, neglect to name it.

I now sport a scar that is a lovely keepsake of growing up in South Florida. The irony? I haven't sunbathed in almost 14 years because I had a suspcious mole removed back then that I was told could have turned into a melanoma.

Hugs to girl. Glad you got it taken care of. Make good friends with the sunscreen. xo

Heather, my thoughts and prayers (yes prayers even) are with you, Jon and Leta.

You'll kick Ed's ass.

Hey Heather,
Good for you on getting that scar checked out and biopsied.
I hope other sun worshippers read your post and get the message that it is not worth the tan.
I liked your decription of your doctor.
Positive energy and good thoughts to you.
Thleen

that was "description"
lol

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing can happen bad to the Dooce. Period. I will not allow it!
And, its not your fault. I live in Fl and my mother used to regularly take me out to the beach for the day and let me roast like a broiler chicken.Seriously. And I have red hair and freckles. And I am older than you. And everything I have carved off me is benign. Its your genes, kid, just be careful now that you know you are susceptible.
Hey, Coppertone sunless tanner is not bad...it doesn't give you the alien orange glow as seen on every freaking mystic tan chick on TV.I'm not saying take a bath in it, But its nice for some color.
Nothing! must happen to the Dooce!I have spoken.

I send my love, prayers for you and your family!

I'm sending you my love because I don't do prayers anymore and I'm not yet signed up for paypal. I'm devoting my time to getting people elected who are going to do something about reforming the health care market.

And thank you for making me laugh.

As if everything else weren't enough. My prayers are with you that the procedure goes well.

Thanks for making me laugh, even in the midst of personal angst. I'm so sorry for your bad news and wish you all the best for a speedy recovery and harmless future! I have a strange spot on my back that I am not going to ignore any longer, thanks to you. I don't expect that to make you feel any better, but I want you to know that your willingness to be open about your life (since the very beginning) has been personally inspiring. Very best wishes and all my good thoughts and prayers!

You're in my thoughts... here's to a speedy recovery!

My thoughts of good-health energy are with you!! I, like you, never use sunscreen. Consider the wake-up call made!

Heather, you will get through this one too... just like everything else. :-)

And by yoy, I mean you.

Heather, so sorry to hear about Ed. I did the same thing...I knew my mole was not right, but I procrastinated. But thanks for inspiring me to name my newly discovered melanoma. His name is Adolf, because he is evil and may have invaded my lymph nodes. As Joanne said, skin cancer in young people is going up, so lucky us (I'm 20). Here's hoping Adolf and Ed will at least inspire people to wear some sunscreen, and good luck.

You handled this whole thing way better than I would have, I'm so glad that the biopsy turned out well (comparatively.)

My little sister came up with the craziest accent as well. Our whole family is from the midwest, yet she would say "cah" instead of car and something like "stap" instead of stop. My mom would have her practice "don't park the car in the yard" ("don't pahk the cah in tha yahd") until she sortof grew out of it :P

I'm sure its a shock and I'm so sorry. I hope all goes well.
Most of my upper torso is covered in freckles from a lot of hot Tennessee summers and no sunscreen. I think I'm going in to get them checked out.
The only reason I've used sunscreen as an adult is to prevent wrinkles and I guess that reason is better than no sunscreen at all.

Good Luck!

Oh what a challenging year this has been foryou and your family. For every fantastically wonderful thing (Leta walking, Amsterdam, starting a family business), you are greeted with something fantastically awful (sewer, Chuck's disappearance, cancer: Aunt Lola's and your own). But such is the yin and yang of life. Know that there are many of us out there with you who learn to bettter deal with out ups and downs as we vicariously live through yours. Keep writing. And know that for every person who comments today, there are probably 100 more who are thinking about you and wishing you well.

Heh. Thanks for the link complete with pictures! Now I know what to except to see in a few years, seeing as I am fair skinned, red haired, blue-eyed and raised in the desert. Greeeaaaatt! So so sorry to hear you're afflicted with such yuckiness! Keep a seat open in the club for me.

Heather- This sucks. My sister just had one of those removed. Everything is fine, but it's scary as shit. Fuck Cancer.

Here's my 2 cents on the insurance bit...get it. Whatever it takes. I didn't have it for about a year (didn't have car insurance either...never thought I'd be one of those people, but I was po'). Finally I got it...and 2 months later, no shit, 2 months, I started getting ill. A few months later I was diagnosed with MS. I was lucky as hell that by pure coincidence, I was able to get insurance when I did. If I hadn't...well, fucked isn't even the word for it.

Even if you only get calamity (hit by a bus) insurance, get something. As cliche as it is, you truly never know what is going to happen. I certainly didn't foresee MS when I was 28.

And Leta's accent..it's fabulous. When she was doing her dramatic interpretation of counting? Totally inspired.

I'm sorry to hear about this - I hope that it all gets taken care of quickly. I've had a few of them removed (am in my early 30s) and am keeping a wary eye on the rest of them. Best wishes...

Hey Dooce--hope you read down this far. I'm an old Dermatology Nurse and just wanted to give you a little 411. I'm sure my now you have googled the heck out of BCC and have as many questions as you do answers. Here is my 2 cents. Why is your regular Dr doing your surgery? If this is her speciality I can understand that, BUT if its not you should be checking out a MOHS surgeon. They have a web site check them out. This type of surgery has a 97% cure rate--what that means is that when you leave from having your bcc removed there is only a 3% chance that it could come back, and you would need an additional surgery=more $$$. Mohs surgeons take the least possible amount of tissue so your chance of having a big hunking scar is reduced. I don't know about you, but having a smaller scar and having all of the bcc removed in one day, and in one surgery could be a better choice for you. I know you like your Doc, but see someone who does this everyday and has a proven success rate...you deserve it!

I'm just saying...

MsZ

Wishing you continued humor and groundswells of support as you deal with this. If you close your eyes and focus on it, I am sure you could hear the hum of all the good thoughts whizzing their way to you through dooce.com. - Amy in DC/Colorado

Wow! I know it's been said before, but keep the positive attitude, research your doctors, and remember that so many people love you and care about in so many different ways. That sounds awfully cheesy, but you mean alot to the people that read dooce and feel connected to you. Take care of yourself.

Heather, my thoughts are with you! I hope they successfully remove it and you are able to carry on without the constant reminder of the C-word. Thank you, thank you for sharing your most intimate details with a mostly unknown audience. I have told you before, I believe you to be a very brave woman. You are oh so loved and appreciated. Love to you and yours.

DOWN WITH ED!!!!

Don't worry, you will breeze through this, I had the exact same cancer as did my Mother and we survived (we were victims of 80's/90's tanning methods), they will cut Ed out and toss him and you'll be fine. The area will be a bit sore for a while and you will become freakishly obsessed about lathering the entire family in SPF 60 at the slightest glimpse of the sun, but you will get through this with no trouble at all. Hang in and think positive thoughts.

Who ya rollin' with? Bob. Bob Saget.

Heather:

Listen to Jamie Kennedy's new song. That will get your spirits up. That's what I always do whenever I have cancer.

Jamie Kennedy's Rollin' with Saget Music Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I0U4P9Imis&eurl

Best wishes, Heather. As the Internet goes, you're one of my favorite people whom I'll never meet. Keep us updated as we keep you in our thoughts and hope for a quick fix.

funny you should mention it: I just had my fourth MOHS procedure done yesterday for a tiny spot on the back of my neck. The other three were on my neck/chest, too. I look like a pirate with all these scars. I'm only 31 but I have red hair and green eyes aka the perfect genetic make-up for skin cancer. Oh, well. We'll survive. The guy in the waiting room was getting one removed from his ear - the inside! Yuck!

Love your blog but have never commented before. There are so many blogs I like to read but it's almost a full time job to reach them all on a daily basis. Yours is legendary! Thanks for what you do!

I had this white thing on my upper lip that after biopsy came back as nothing. Insisting that it be removed, the tissue came back with basil cell carcinoma (also at a young age) and they had to cut more skin off my upper lip. I walked around with a franken-lip and even went to a Lenny Kravitz concert sporting blue stitches.

On the subject of sun protection generally, I recently learned that here in the U.S. we don't have good access to possibly the best form of sun protection thanks to the FDA's ineptitude. Here is an excerpt from a NY Times article on the subject. If you want to look at the full article it was published on June 9, 2005. (Though the article focuses mostly on the aesthetic aspect of sun protection, I have read in other sources that protection from UVA light is also for skin cancer protection.

"MEXORYL is not the most notorious drug on the black market. Only a few insiders, most of them women, even know its worth, let alone where to buy it. But it is one of the most ordinary substances ever to be bootlegged. Mexoryl SX, made by the Paris-based skin-care giant L'Oréal, is an illegal sunscreen in this country, one that is thought to be particularly useful in preventing wrinkles.
Called by dermatologists one of the most effective filters of all wavelengths of ultraviolet light, Mexoryl has been used in sunscreen lotions sold in Canada and Europe for more than a decade. But the Food and Drug Administration has not yet approved it.

The reason for the delay is difficult to discern, because the F.D.A. does not comment on drugs going through its sometimes lengthy approval process. Dr. Darrell S. Rigel, a dermatologist at New York University, however, said safety is not an issue. ''It's just bureaucracy,'' he said.

And so the cognoscenti ask for Ombrelle Extreme ($11), Garnier's Ambre Solaire ($24) or the particularly coveted Anthélios XL by La Roche-Posay ($40 and more for a relatively small tube) at certain drug stores -- like Zitomer and Cambridge Chemists on Manhattan's Upper East Side -- or order it online from Canadian or French pharmacies or even on eBay."

I didn't know whether your previous post was joking or not but I've been worried for you. Keep well, sweety. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer (http://www.crankreport.org/southerngirl/2006/04/cancer.html). I also have a little girl, she is 18mos old. It's all really scary. Between you and my partner (http://www.ext337.org/) I was inspired to start a blog. So far blogging has been the most cathartic way I have found to deal with this devistating disease. Thank you for inspiring me. My thoughts and good healing vibes are with you.