Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point
One of the drawbacks of maintaining a public website as anyone who has done this will tell you is that the longer you keep writing online the more people you are likely to piss off. At the same time you are also likely to touch more people's lives and make more connections, more friends, and that is definitely the most rewarding thing about it all, but it's that increasing amount of people who scorn you that teach you the most about yourself. How thick is your skin? How much can you take? How do you find a way to continue writing in a way that isn't affected by what those certain people have to say? And most importantly, how do you find the strength to resist submitting their email addresses to the QueerWorld.com mailing list, IT WOULD FEEL OH SO TINGLY IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES.
In the last year it has become almost impossible for me to sit down to write something without wondering what person I am going to offend this time. It's an involuntary response, automatic, because I've learned that there is nothing too small that an opinion can't be formed about it, like whether or not I use blue in a masthead, or the fact that I have chosen a sans-serif font for body copy, really small things that I wrongly assumed wouldn't end the world but are in fact so important that because I chose blue and not green I might as well have just peed in someone's Cheerios.
Because the bad email makes up such a small part of the feedback to this website, though, I feel like it's part of my job to get over it already. Even though I can't help flinching once I click "publish" I have to realize that a lot of what people send me is only a projection of themselves, a projection of what they want to see in themselves or their own value system and it really has nothing to do with me personally. It also helps to think of it in terms of someone having a really bad day, that their bad email is just a window into the hard time they are having. It also doesn't hurt if I just assume that some people are mad crazy psycho.
I tell you this because it's a question I get a lot, how do I deal with the mean email or the mean comments. To be honest, it's an ongoing process. One way is to go back and read the supportive email because that's what it's there for, and I don't ever take it for granted. Another way is to laugh about it because some of the stuff that shows up in my inbox is blow-your-mind genius, and after reading a few that I received this week I thought it would be mean of me not to share some of the best here with you.
Email addresses have been removed because otherwise that would be mean, and although you can accuse me of being a bitch I am not a mean bitch. I am the Good Bitch of the North! Also, the text in italics represents my initial reaction to the email with a little bit of Jon's commentary thrown in.
------
Jennifer W:
It vexes me slightly that you are starting to become lazy and self-absorbed - what was once a deeply appreciated view in to a like mind, is becoming a boring look at your to-do list filled with fun, next-step activities in your wow-look-at-me life... please heather - take a step back, reclaim the original you-ness that created this treat i give myself everyday called dooce.com - and stop acting so average like some lotto ticket winner...
[You know what other treat you should give yourself everyday? An enema.]
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abbas:
you have a good blog. please put your sexual picture in your weblog.
[Hey, Mahir, is that you?]
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Mindy S:
Oh, dear dooce, I haven't the slightest problem with you publicly humiliating your dog but this time you've gone too far. Those christmas lights merrily draped around the poor pooch contain high levels of lead. Do you not read the warnings? Lead, dooce, lead.
[Deep breaths, Mindy, deep breaths.]
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Keri R:
i used to find your writing clever....but lately, it stinks. switch meds. your grammar is terrible. when you land a book deal the editor will commit suicide before your hardback hits the shelf. (and depression is a disorder, not a disease....although the scary things you do to your kid's hair might change the order of things)
[Need we talk about the non-capitalized sentences? Need we talk about meds?]
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TDepaz:
Your site has gotten pathetic since either Jon came home and your mind turned to mush or when you became too mesmerized by your own ads to actually type anything interesting anymore! help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this continues I wont be reading anymore.
[Can't talk, looking at ads.]
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Jena S:
Sweaty goat balls = Dooce's new look
[Dude, that's totally going to be my next tagline: NOW WITH SWEATY GOAT BALLS!]
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Alex S:
are you mocking syphilis??? when did this start, you bigot!
i remember when i used to think you where cool. what happened?
[I don't hate the disease, I just disagree with the lifestyle of the disease.]
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Jeff S:
some kids may get cuter as they get older if you are lucky.
[And some cranky men obviously haven't been laid recently. It'll happen if you are lucky!]
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Apurva P:
Blurbomat all of a sudden puts liberal/democrat party type propaganda on his site. I know we have the 1st amedment but when you turn your personal little blog into a launching pad of political diatribe, I cannot support that - esp when you're planning on schillling your goods.
I didn't like the latest picture of Jon flipping off the camera , as my son was with me.. Daddy, what does that mean.. It's enough to be bombard in the news, tv, but you'd think dooce.com woulnd't have crap like that.
[Blink... blink, blink... you'd think someone had never read my website before.]
Anyways, I no longer view your work as cute and insightful into being a mother in Utah, but now I think you've just gotten way too big for your britches now that you're getting paid.
You've sold out in the worst way. I used to care for you and your family, now I just pity you.
[Would it have changed your mind if I had sold out in the best way?]
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Asian34:
You've sold out and lost a reader. You should change your header to "Dooce-Viva la mighty DOLLAR!"
[Thanks for the suggestion, but it just doesn't have that sweaty goat ball ring to it.]
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Michelle W:
your website sux. I loved reading your daily posts and now I can't even wade through all the bullshit ads. Why on earth would you do this ? Couldn't you just pick ONE endorsement ? ARE YOU THAT GREEDY ?????
[Yes. And no. But kind of, yeah.]
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Tiffany R:
I do have to admit, you are funny when you write about some things and I wish I could just enjoy your website's funny stories without stumbling across random swear words and false doctrine about my church, but I can't. It's everywhere! Talk about a chip on your shoulder! I know there is such a thing as free speech so no one can tell you what to not write. But some of the things you write...I don't know. Let's just say I don't want to be standing next to you on judgement day. The trap door to hell will open and I might fall in with you. (Sorry, I guess that wasn't very Christian of me.)
[Technically, your church doesn't believe in trapdoors or hell.]
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Keri R:
I can't stand you.
and your webpage looks cluttered and sloppy and so full of CRAP. it looks like shit.
your writing is shit.
i've deleted you from my bookmarks.
i'm starting an "I Hate Dooce" club.
I'll send you the link.
[Look who it is again! Keri R! Not surprisingly, this is only the second of several hateful emails she has sent me, but I didn't include the others here because they were disappointingly mediocre in their display of hatefulness. Yawn. I like haters who excel!]
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Robert N:
You just blather on about your precocious child, your depression, and your family. What are you trying to say and why should I visit? You seem to be a bright person but totally devoid of insight. All is vanity...
[Vanity. Like sending condescending emails to strangers?]
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Walter G:
Everything that you gained will be taken away from you. You are simply a Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist! I predict bannishment to the Island of FagLesbian or a re-adjustment camp for you and your ilk!
[The Island of FagLesbian? That only sounds like ONE BIG PARTY. Send me now!]
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Mary B:
I am getting the distinct impression that you despise motherhood, and hate your life in Utah. Am I correct in this perception? If so, Leta is going to grow up thinking her mother hated her and hated taking care of her. That can't be a good thing....for Leta.
[Mary B, let me introduce you to someone. Jeff S, this is Mary B. Mary B, meet Jeff S.]
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Rachel N:
you know, i was gonna just send an email to say that you're the offspring of people having sex with animals..but that really is digressive isn't it. my goodness, this is really immature, no?
all in all, women like you seriously have no business having kids at this juncture. i'm sure you love your girl, but kids need more than love. they need happy, mature parents.
[I didn't have a response to this email because I was too high from the cocaine I just snorted off Leta's bare tummy.]
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George M:
My girlfriend pointed me toward your site. I have never read such self indulgent shit in all my life. I now know why she was laughing so hard. You are so pathetic. Get a life. How can anyone talk about their dog, baby shit, etc ad nauseum. Do something. Work in a charity. Get a job. Loser.
[Wait, you have a girlfriend? Still?]
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Shannon W:
You have really crossed the line now!!!!!!! I was shocked and very unhappy to see the cover of the book that my uncle worte on the front page of your blog. I always knew that you would mock anything that had to do with the curch, but this really hit home. My uncle worked really hard on putting this book together. A ton of time and effort went into it, and here you are mocking it. This book has helped people, and here you are mocking it.
When I see people mocking all this in someone that I love I STAND UP FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't believe that you have stooped so low!
[I got this email yesterday and read it aloud to Jon and GEORGE! Each time she used an exclamation point I said it out loud, "Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point." After I was done the room just sat there silent until GEORGE! said, "Ask her if she's hot." It may just turn out that my hatemail is the perfect place for GEORGE! to meet Mormon women.]
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Heather talks about Valentine's Day on today's Momversation.
- I know zero about sports, but my entire heart is screaming, "Go Saints! Go Saints!" I am a stereotypical woman. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, JON!
- Marlo has a tooth! So says the blood that she drew when she grabbed my hand and tried to gnaw off my thumb!
- Leta won't eat her birthday cake. I guess we should have made it out of chicken nuggets and iced it with refried beans.
1. Monika said:
Hi Heather
Okay, I've been reading your blog for about 3 years. Now, you've grown, and gotten married, and had a dog, and a child, dealt with home problems (kitchen debacle, etc.) and many other things. What happens is that some of your readers don't grow. They are the people who still walk around with mullets and wear jeans with the elastic waistebands. That's what I've gotten from those hateful emails. They want you to stay the same. Always.
Hello?! SHE'S NOT GONNA STAY THE SAME FOR YOU! SHE HAS A LIFE!
She's got the same sense of humour, if you put on mental block on the swearing and flipping the bird, and only recently realized that she DOES post some swearing and flips you the bird, if your own fault for being BLIND.
Heather, some people have sad, sad lives, they think they even MATTER by bringing you down. They forget that they don't matter, and try to fill up the void by being assholes. I love you and your family, and 98% of us (your readers) love you.
The haters? They can shove their emails up their hairy asses.
Oh, and a side note to Walter G, are you homophobic? Cause it seems like to you, being gay is an insult. Let me tell you that you are an ASSHOLE.
Thanks =)
2. Tracey said:
Hey, you know what I do when I don't like the direction a blog is taking? I DELETE THE BOOKMARK AND NEVER RETURN. Novel, eh?
For the record, I think you are a fantastic mom (from what I can tell through cyberspace) and I think it's great that somebody like you is out there telling other moms it's ok to struggle sometimes. It's all those people out there that pretend that parenting is always sunshine and roses that are REALLY dangerous.
And, next to my own toddler daughter, Leta is the cutest kid. Ever.
3. LucyArin said:
Tell the haters to suck it. You rock; they're jealous.
4. William said:
Those are classic. Everyone of them funny for different reasons. I think they all need to read Blurbomat post about "Thinking small vs. thinking Big."
5. Amybobamy said:
I'm thinking I would totally cry, all the time if I got emails like this. OR, I would start a cult.. you know ... whatever came first..
6. Staci said:
Hi Dooce - Your stuff is great...ignore those who are jealous of your wonderful life and your accomplishments!! I am the Mom of two kids, each day when I read your posts - no matter what it is about - it is a joy for me. You are insightful, thought provoking and gifted!! Live it up and be you!!
7. syzygy said:
Too-Rah dooce!! Public humiliation... I love it. I've been reading you since the NY times did the story on the girl who got fired for her "blog" (whatever the hell that is) And you've gone from talking about celeb sightings in LA, hangovers, etc to pregnancy, morning sickness, depression, leaking poopy diapers and whatnot. It sounds like life to me and I'm grateful you share. I think the more mellow readers here just don't chime in as often because they are happy to read you and the more radical opinionated element just really need a colonic.
of course I will stop reading your blog if you don't check out the I monster link I left for you in the last comment section. That is a Promise!!! HA.
8. leahkay said:
I still love you, Dooce. Watching the transition from newlywed to pregnant chich to mom to mentor has been inspiring. Don't ever go away.
9. minkz said:
I won't quit you.
10. conebaby said:
I am so jealous!
If I got this kind of email every day, the sheer release of being a bitch and answering back would probably balance out my serious stress-a-holic problem. That's it - it's for sure - next year, when the boyfriend and I move to Alaska, I am getting my own blog and indulge myself in e-therapy.
Dooce - send me the email addresses and please, please, please allow me to be your correspondence secretary. It would be my dream job!
11. heather said:
These are the kind of people that want to take the sex and violence off of my TV instead of just turning the damn channel. I hate them all.
12. maarmie said:
Some of the few who read my site send horrible feedback, comments that are less comment and more pointless nasty unintelligible garbage. But, I figure if I have a right to write what I want for others to read, then they have a write to respond if I am accepting comments. I'd love to delete the idiotic comments off my blog - and may one day. But for now, they stay. *sigh!*
13. Bruno said:
I am excited when I get to hit the internet after meetings or lunch as there might be a new posting. You rock. The crazy will soon find this and start the hate postings. Does anyone else get creeped out by the fact that they all seem to come at once?
14. iggygrl76 said:
I (heart) Dooce.com
Because its honest and poignent and not what people expect to read always and its not always the chummy im the perfect mommy farking blog for the love of god people sometimes , hell most of the dam time, life is not perfect. I like that heather and jon are honest about that and write what they want to write.
Overly tight assed religious zealots will go to hell right along with all us "haters" because you are bigots, liars, hypocrites and commit herasy in the name of "GOD".
IM a religious person but I certainly do not enjoy the HATE so many of you "God Fearing People" put out into the world.
Learn to love and be loved and learn to be honest. Be the best person YOU can be dont be the best person you think others WANT you to be. I think Heather and Jon have both done that. And if you doubt their love for their daughter all you have to do is see the joy in her face only children who are loved have that joy.
15. Princess Grace is Great said:
I love you Heather, in a total non-lesbian way.
16. Marella said:
I still love you Dooce! Just as there are as many haters, there are as many (if not more) people who love you and your blog.
17. Jenn J said:
Wow Heather.
You complete me.
18. Jill said:
I LOVE the guy who called you a lesbian. That's it Dooce, the jig is up. This front you had of a child and a loving marriage wasn't good enough.
Some people shouldn't be allowed to send e-mails, especially that Keri girl. She needs to go back to English class before she starts talking about other people's grammar.
19. joanne said:
Oh Lord. I have said it before but I swear to God, I think reading this site has saved my life sometimes. My babe is a little more than a year younger than yours (he's 10 months, I have no more math skills) and I obsessively read your monthly newsletters when he was one, two, three months old, up to ... well, now too but I don't read it as obsessively anymore, because I'm not losing my mind AS BADLY as I was before. Plus I think you're wicked funny and I swear to God, those ads just don't bother me too much. You know why? I have BIGGER FISH TO FRY. These people? Who write these emails? Have no fish. And no frier. And I think I'd go with your assessment that they are CRAZY NUTJOBS and just press delete, even though it makes for great entries, you can't unread it and it can't be good for you.
20. Amybobamy said:
WAIT... who wants to take sex off of my TV!? I loathe those people.. whoever 'THEY' are... I want to go to their homes and show them how to monitor their children and teach them how to USE A FINGER to change the channel.
21. Danielle said:
I'm reading this right now because I had to leave work to deal with a water heater spewing hate all over my floor. Yet, somehow, I'm laughing. You always know how to make a girl smile.
But more importantly, I really want to go to FagLesbian for vacation. Sounds like bliss!!! (exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point)
22. whiterockgirl said:
OMG & WOW! Anal and funny at the same time. Without people like this life would be oh so boring. Anal is the new pink.
23. Nifle said:
I love you Dooce and you're horrific, self-indulgent writing style that is grammatically superior to mine! Keep up the good work, post any pics of yourself that you would like and I look forward to the Goatballs.
PS..if you go to the island of Lesbians, take me with you!
24. Mlwooten said:
I would shove a pen in my eye if I had to read some of these emails. It is one thing to be told you have horrible grammar but it is something totally different to be told that by someone whose email contains punctuation issues galour!
(I'm sure I made a mistake in just typing this!)Make sure you send her a Grammar Police Badge.
Keep writing! I'm entertained.
25. Wobenar said:
I used to think you were cool, but you want to add all those idiots to my QueerWorld mailing list? Sheesh, thanks :(
Other than that, love your site. Just think: if you are pissing off idiots, you must be doing something right.
Raney
26. Tiggerlane said:
You know, just reading the comments in italics is enough to make me chuckle - and reason enough to visit your site!! HYSTERICAL!!
And if the haters don't "get" your briliant sarcastic humor when it comes to raising your child, your dog, your husband, etc...well, keep in mind, very few of them use spell-check or even punctuate correctly. Not to mention their flagrant abuse of run-on sentences! Small minds are often unkind.
Whatever happened to the philosophy of if you don't like it, don't read it?
Wish I could be your Internet hit-chick - I'd love to hurl some of those italicized comments for you!
Rock on, Heather (and Jon) - you are just brave enough to say and write what a lot of us think in our heads.
27. Carrie D said:
Hi! I've never commented before, but this post made me just laugh and laugh at all of the crazies out there! I could understand if your website is/was some kind of Middle Eastern torture ritual and these people where chained to the wall being forced to read your site, but unless I am mistaken, these people CHOOSE to visit your site. They aren't paying you for entertainment or advice!!
As for the guy that is reading website and looking at pictures with his son, what do you expect? Screen websites before you show them to your children!!
28. Kristin D said:
ikissyou.org is one of the funniest things I have EVER seen.
29. vinsanity said:
Dude,
Goatballs are the shit. Sweaty goatballs excite me.
If you go to the Island of Lesbians with Nifle, take me, too. Lesbians are yummy.
You should tell everybody, "Don't hate the player, hate the game."
Hope the poops are going well.
30. ShortGrl said:
Ha ha ha! I'll stand next to you on judgement day. I'm sure I'll be highly entertained while waiting. I find it hilarious that people waste so much time complaining. If you don't like it, DON'T freakin' read it. How hard is that? And by the way, that includes looking at the ads.
However, I'm dumbfounded by the comment, "when you turn your personal little blog into a launching pad of political diatribe, I cannot support that." Seriously. I don't even know what to say. That's the most asinine thing I've heard in awhile (and I read the comments on the baby-sleeping post). It's a PERSONAL blog. He has no journalistic responsibility to remain unbiased.
To all the haters: Heather has a sense of humor. It's quirky, dry and supremely sarcastic. If you want Mother Goose humor, go somewhere else. Her intent is good and, in my eyes, that makes it that much funnier.
31. Molly said:
Holy Toledo, Heather.
Are you sure some of those weren't just bad jokes? As in the not-very-funny-but-tongue-in-cheek kind? Is it too much to hope?
I adore your site. And I couldn't care less about the ads, and I'm happy that you can do this and make a living. Exclamation point.
Don't let the bastards wear you down.
32. lolismum said:
Can I come along to that Lesbo party too?
You have to admit at least your hate mailers are really entertaining, if you can take a detached attitude. These people are so sad.
33. Nothing But Bonfires said:
The Island Of FagLesbian would be an excellent name for a band. ("Yeah, man, I'm a drummer with The Island of FagLesbian. We're sort of Metallica meets Shakira. We were booked for that Carson Daly show last week.")
34. simzgirl said:
It's been said before and it will be said again:
I love you and your site. I think you are the funniest woman out there and I wish I had half the nerve to write like you. You are an amazing person and I love the commentary on the hate mail. It only goes to prove you are a bigger person than they.
35. Billygean.co.uk said:
Oh Dooce, don't give up. I second the notion of pissing off idiots. I link to you and every single person who's clicked it loves you and now reads.
In your blog the other day about music, i totally got Shakespeare-tingles when you said the world might collapse bit about dating Jon.
Geeky English students unit,
Gilly
36. pseudomom said:
This may not count coming from an middle-aged, Republican, heterosexual female with a doctorate in theology... however... I love your site.
I read your adventures to my mother (probably just to shock her).
I have my 18 year old daughter read (blurbomat also) to teach her to think outside her conservative Bible belt, hillbilly upbringing.
Ignore the naysayers.
Rev. Dr. DP
37. taterjane said:
I don't think I've ever commented before either, but the hate mail was hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I get so upset when I get hate mail and I'm sure you were upset too--but I'm glad you were able to share the funny with us.
I am particularly fond of the woman who knows you like to "mock anything that ha[s] to do with the curch". Boy, that sounds dirty.
38. jennyk said:
wow, just... wow.
i have a boring desk job so when i discovered your site about a year ago, i spent a few weeks reading every post. i've loved them all. people grow and their lives change. if you were still writing about the same things you were 3 years ago i would be concerned.
rock on heather.
39. MeAhna said:
Well, I think you are a great mother. But, dont haters just boost your confidence?
40. Roxanne said:
Your blog is so laugh-out-loud funny, it has never occurred to me to read the comments, too. Apparently, there is value-added mockability to be had in this section!
It just keeps getting better. Keep up the good work. And, please, keep draping Chuck in lethal holiday-wear; it's good for our morale.
41. Minnie said:
What a bunch of rabid, blathering babboons. You should totally publish this in a book form. It'd be a laugh riot.
A big thumbs up to you for maintaining your sense of humour even through this vile and undeserved backlash.
42. Newly Commentous said:
I was laughing SO hard until I read that hell has a trap door...shit.
And I'm totally not just saying this because you get asshole emails, but your new haircut rocks.
43. MeAhna said:
Well, I think you are a great mother. But, dont haters just boost your confidence?
44. Minnie said:
What a bunch of rabid, blathering babboons. You should totally publish this in a book form. It'd be a laugh riot.
A big thumbs up to you for maintaining your sense of humour even through this vile and undeserved backlash.
45. Newly Commentous said:
I was laughing SO hard until I read that hell has a trap door...shit.
And I'm totally not just saying this because you get asshole emails, but your new haircut rocks.
46. Della said:
There's a trap door to Hell?
47. Minnie said:
What a bunch of rabid, blathering babboons. You should totally publish this in a book form. It'd be a laugh riot.
A big thumbs up to you for maintaining your sense of humour even through this vile and undeserved backlash.
48. Janine said:
What I find the most ironic about all of this is that these people, these haters, still continue to read your site. It's like a car wreck...can't...look...away! They'll delete you from their bookmarks, but still keep reading. They'll think you're so boring that they'll actually WRITE to you to TELL you. Please. Would they email executives at NBC to tell them that their programming is terrible? The author of every bad or uninteresting book they read?
People seem to get some vindictive kick out of making people feel bad. And it doesn't matter WHAT you write, they'll always do it. Depressed? Constipated? They'll write to you and tell you you're horrible, boring, abusing your child, etc. Found the cure to cancer? Decided to send all your money to needy orphans? You horrible, disgusting person.
Heather, what you write here never fails to bring a smile to my face. My only regret is that my favourite quote of yours, where Chuck licked up Leta's poop, "as if it was as soft and buttery as an ice cream cone," has now been replaced by the phrase "sweaty goat balls."
49. MommaChop said:
I never understand why hateful morons are also incapable of using SpellCheck....
They also clearly do not have children, so don't understand the daily heart-wrenching cuteness soaked in the need to get far, far away from the source of cuteness for 5 goddamn minutes. while mixing a cocktail.
So, fuck em.
50. Fyse said:
Amazing that people take the time to send emails like that, and continue visiting your site when it seems to annoy them so. They obviously lead very sad little lives.
Anyway, consider this one of the supportive messages you can read to counteract the abuse. Dooce.com is without doubt my favourite blog, the one I look forward to reading most.
51. trublu76 said:
I never really could understand the people who rant and rave about not liking what someone is writing on their websites. Do these people not understand that they don't HAVE to read it? They do have the option of NOT navigating to dooce dot com every day. I on the other hand do not have the option. I'm hooked on you, dooce. Love your writing and I'm glad to see these nay-sayers aren't keeping you down.
I can't wait for the Island of Faglesbian party...
52. Morphea said:
You know, these people are entitled to their opinions. Just like I'm entitled to call them all dumbasses.
Keep doing what you're doing, luv.
53. Heather said:
OK, I admit it. I am a Mormon. Card-carrying, go to church every Sunday, teach Relief Society Mormon. That being said, you so totally rock! My best friend, also a Heather(and a Mormon), thinks that you rock too. I love my faith, but I truly believe that a large percentage of religious people really need to find their sense of 'flippin' humor. I think that God is up there laughing his head off at us as we try to life our lives. You have a beautiful daughter-and if you would like to arrange a marriage for her, I have two sons, an obviously loving husband, and a cool dog. Keep on making us laugh at ourselves, and thank you for making my husband in Iraq laugh. He swears that girl on the cover of the book is my sister!
54. TPunk said:
Wow, isn't it refreshing to know there is no shortage of nutjobs in the world? And why do they seem to be so attracted to this site??
Seriously, I've been reading and enjoying your site for over a year but have never posted my appreciation until now. Thank you for enduring the crazies and continuing to provide us with such witty and fun glimpses into your life.
55. atpanda said:
Oh man Heather. It is SO hard to get any comments that even remotely mean. Even if you know they're just doing it to get a rise out of you and create some conflict.
How is it that these people can't see that they are hurtful? That the words they type are actually read by someone who takes them personally. Horrible people. And I feel like if they really are this upset about your site, then CLICK ELSEWHERE.
Your ability to laugh about it (even if that wasn't your initial reaction) is amazing.
56. Sunshine said:
Heather, I've been reading quietly for just about a year now. (yeah, that's me back there in the corner with the empty coffee cup)
I read every day, and read all the back issues if I'm away for a while.
Love you, your blog, and your family.
Illegitimi non carborundum -- don't let the bastards wear you down.
57. Victoria Winters said:
Damn, how you get some doozies!
I had no idea that people actually had the audacity (and free time) to send you these shitty emails. And for what? To put down someone they've never even met and to criticize her for her morals, opinions, and parenting!? Ridiculous. Keep it up Heather...you still float my boat EVERY DAY.
58. kate folsom said:
Argh. Some people really need to get lives. I've been visiting this site from just around the time Leta was born, and check every day, sometimes several times, to see what new things you have to say.
What's with the people who don't capitalize criticising your grammar? The thoughtless dolts who don't like your subject matter? Why do people hate so much?
The ads aren't that annoying. I'm one of the people who bitched about them at first, but I've totally gotten used to them. ARGH!
You're wonderful, Heather. Tell those motherfuckers to fuck themselves.
59. Elizabeth said:
Well...I'm not sure why anyone would take the time to login just so they could spew venomous ack at someone they don't know (she said as she had logged in to make a comment to someone she doesn't even know). Your website is just fine. Otherwise why would anyone read it? I happen to enjoy reading it. I like Chuck. I like Leta. I like Jon, and of course I like you. I think what's-her-name should realize that using exclamnation points on the Web is a privilege, not a right. I hope you appreciate how long it took me to look up the spelling of privilege. By the way, check out the principles of the Music Genome Project, if you're not already familiar with it. Go to Pandora.com. You can tell them what kind of music you want to hear. I think it's really funny because they won't play what you want but they'll play what they think you should want to hear. So get on with you life and enjoy spring. The snow has just melted where I live and we're having mud season.
60. Jessica Bauer said:
Oh My! People seriously need to get a life. On my site, I have a note about hate mail and it says that if you're planning on writing it, make sure you plug in your own email address in the "to:" area. It will make you feel better to get it off your chest and it will save me the time of having to hit delete.
Maybe I should change that! Your hate mail is seriously entertaining!
61. jams said:
don't like it, don't read
the negative comments just reveal how sad, lonely and judgemental their authors are
instead of sending hate mail to someone's PERSONAL blog, why aren't they out trying to make change in the world? because they loathe themselves and only know how to take joy in making others feel inferior
again, don't like it, don't read it
soooo simple, yet obviously, so complex
screw 'em!
62. sally said:
Dear Heather,
I love you more than I can express! Every day I visit your blog and laugh out loud in my silent dorm room. I am only a freshman in college, and despite all these negative comments talking about your "immature" parenting, you're one of the reasons I can even stand to THINK about having children! It is so refreshing to see someone have a child and still maintain a SENSE OF HUMOR! I was afraid that all parents become boring, snobby, and self-righteous humans after a certain amount of time, but you've proved me wrong! I think you are amazing, and I don't mind if you sold out, you need some money to support that kid you adore so much. Why does everyone expect that you're some sort of superhuman who can function in society without an income? They can BLOW ME. I adore you, I really do. And I want a kid one day who sounds exactly like Leta's precious little voice. Bravo, Heather, really, you're an inspiration to me.
-Sally
63. Liz said:
I feel compelled to comment simply because I am absolutely bewildered by the emails you get. You have talked about the nastiness of the emails in the past, but I guess I assumed that they would at least be mature in their nastiness; that they would communicate a clear point of view, focus on something worthy of objection, and present a reasonably constructed argument etc. These comments are just absurd. I am struck that those who take time to send a nasty email don't stop and take a second to realize that they have a choice to NOT READ if they have such a personal objection to the content matter of somebody's personal website.
64. Kirsten said:
1. Leta is absolutely gorgeous and cherubic, and I hope that when I have children, they look half as adorable as she clearly is.
2. I appreciate your writings on your bouts with depression.
3. If someone has a problem with Blurbomat's political views, they should fucking comment on his site. Not yours.
4. Chuck is adorable. I love it when you post about him and put pictures of him up. I wish my German Shepherd would allow me to place spaghetti on his snout. Cause I would do the same thing.
5. You write extraordinarily well. Grammar, spelling...it's all great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. I started blogging because of your site. I haven't figured out how to put pictures up with my mac laptop, but at the least, it's a place for me to bitch and share happy thoughts--no matter how mediocre some assholes might think them to be. Feel free to read it, I'd love to know what a gorgeous, thin, and talented celebrity blogger thinks. Oh, and if you have any suggestions on how to blog on a mac, I'd be forever indebted to you. http://leblondeaux.blogspot.com/
65. kate folsom said:
Argh. Some people really need to get lives. I've been visiting this site from just around the time Leta was born, and check every day, sometimes several times, to see what new things you have to say.
What's with the people who don't capitalize criticising your grammar? The thoughtless dolts who don't like your subject matter? Why do people hate so much?
The ads aren't that annoying. I'm one of the people who bitched about them at first, but I've totally gotten used to them. ARGH!
You're wonderful, Heather. Tell those motherfuckers to fuck themselves.
66. I love Dooce said:
Heather,
I think you are the best. It is sad that some people spend so much of their time and energy trying to ruin someone else's day. You brighten my days and I have learned so much from you sharing your life. From a recovering Jehovah's Witness to a recovering Mormon, IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE FREE! Keep on keepin' on. Mad love.
67. Minnie said:
Oops, sorry for the multiple comments. There was a glitch in my browser.
68. gypsy said:
Oh good grief. What is wrong with people? Oh, right: they're pathetic, humorless, twits who haven't figured out where the off button on their laptop is. Poor things.
Dooce, keep up the good work. I'd love to have my website covered with "The Man's" ads if it meant I could quit this godforsaken job.
Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
69. Sethonious said:
I hear that on the Island of FagLesbian sweaty goat balls rolled in baby tummy coke is quite the popular treat. Baby tummy coke is the best because along with the drug you of course get that new baby smell. Which also has the desired effect of covering up that "ripe goat boxer smell." The sweat really gets the coke to stick on to the balls making for a high protein high energy snack!!!!
70. Kirsten said:
1. Leta is absolutely gorgeous and cherubic, and I hope that when I have children, they look half as adorable as she clearly is.
2. I appreciate your writings on your bouts with depression.
3. If someone has a problem with Blurbomat's political views, they should fucking comment on his site. Not yours.
4. Chuck is adorable. I love it when you post about him and put pictures of him up. I wish my German Shepherd would allow me to place spaghetti on his snout. Cause I would do the same thing.
5. You write extraordinarily well. Grammar, spelling...it's all great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. I started blogging because of your site. I haven't figured out how to put pictures up with my mac laptop, but at the least, it's a place for me to bitch and share happy thoughts--no matter how mediocre some assholes might think them to be. Feel free to read it, I'd love to know what a gorgeous, thin, and talented celebrity blogger thinks. Oh, and if you have any suggestions on how to blog on a mac, I'd be forever indebted to you. http://leblondeaux.blogspot.com/
71. gypsy said:
Oh good grief. What is wrong with people? Oh, right: they're pathetic, humorless, twits who haven't figured out where the off button on their laptop is. Poor things.
Dooce, keep up the good work. I'd love to have my website covered with "The Man's" ads if it meant I could quit this godforsaken job.
Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
72. gypsy said:
Oh good grief. What is wrong with people? Oh, right: they're pathetic, humorless, twits who haven't figured out where the off button on their laptop is. Poor things.
Dooce, keep up the good work. I'd love to have my website covered with "The Man's" ads if it meant I could quit this godforsaken job.
Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
73. TTG said:
I think Keri R is actually Keri Russell. She's jealous that someone in the world has better hair than she does, and probably also very angry that "Felicity" is no longer on the air.
74. Stv. said:
So, if the ads on this site are what support you guys, is it bad that I have them all blocked? And y'know, except for some oddly-size whitespace, the site looks pretty darn good.
I will admit to being horrified by your current masthead. Not anything to do with you, but a bad childhood experience with needlepoint means all crochet/needlepoint/knitted pattern-type-things just give me the howling fantods.
75. WendyBoswell said:
Hmmm. To these meanie commenters I would say what my little 8 year old would say:
"You are a poo poo head."
76. Gry Poulsen said:
Dude..
Is all I can say.
Well, that and I wish I got some hate mail once in a while.
77. Sethonious said:
I hear that on the Island of FagLesbian sweaty goat balls rolled in baby tummy coke is quite the popular treat. Baby tummy coke is the best because along with the drug you of course get that new baby smell. Which also has the desired effect of covering up that "ripe goat boxer smell." The sweat really gets the coke to stick on to the balls making for a high protein high energy snack!!!!
78. Sethonious said:
I hear that on the Island of FagLesbian sweaty goat balls rolled in baby tummy coke is quite the popular treat. Baby tummy coke is the best because along with the drug you of course get that new baby smell. Which also has the desired effect of covering up that "ripe goat boxer smell." The sweat really gets the coke to stick on to the balls making for a high protein high energy snack!!!!
79. Dana said:
Careful, random swear words:
As a writer and columnist for a newspaper, I get a lot of crazy-ass people who send hatemail. I have a WTF (What-the-Fuck) File that I stuff the e-mails in and I write down what callers say. It's funny to go back and remind yourself on how people make idiots out of themselves in an attempt to be hateful.
Thick skin and a good sense of humor is all it takes. You've got both (along with a great haircut, a beautiful daughter, a cool canine, etc.) Tell them to take a laxative or quit reading.
80. Victoria Winters said:
Damn, how you get some doozies!
I had no idea that people actually had the audacity (and free time) to send you these shitty emails. And for what? To put down someone they've never even met and to criticize her for her morals, opinions, and parenting!? Ridiculous. Keep it up Heather...you still float my boat EVERY DAY.
81. ShimmyShea said:
Look, I know there's such a thing as free speech and everything, but why is it so hard for these people to just not visit your site? If they don't agree with what you have to say, then don't type the damn link into the browser.
It's the exact same reason I don't read any of Ann Coulter's stuff. I think she's a douchebag, so I'm not going to waste my time with it. Everyone's entitled to their own opinions.
82. John said:
I enjoyed the email saying how the person can't stand you preaching your liberal propoganda on your personal site.
How dare any of you spout out your own thoughts and beliefs. On your own personal site, no less!
Forshame.
83. TTG said:
I think Keri R is actually Keri Russell. She's jealous that someone in the world has better hair than she does, and probably also very angry that "Felicity" is no longer on the air.
84. John said:
I enjoyed the email saying how the person can't stand you preaching your liberal propoganda on your personal site.
How dare any of you spout out your own thoughts and beliefs. On your own personal site, no less!
Forshame.
85. Sara said:
that was great! I started crying when I went to ikissyou.org. more links like that please. how much time do these people spend writing hatemail and being offended?
86. kdoll said:
my initial reaction to reading those emails was frustration... i can't imagine opening my email and reading that shit. you're a strong person, heather!
and then the more i read... the more i actually giggled. some of those people take like FAR too serious. they're JEALOUS of you, they want to be at home with beautiful leta all day being adored by people all over the country (and probably the world)! we're all different, every single one of us. why can't we all accept that we're different, celebrate those differences, and be friends? i know that'll never happpen, but i sure wish it would.
heather, keep being you. these people who are complaining-- whyyyy are they still reading your blog? give it up people!!!
keep on keein' on, heather. i enjoy reading you EVERY DAY.
thank you!
87. TTG said:
I think Keri R is actually Keri Russell. She's jealous that someone in the world has better hair than she does, and probably also very angry that "Felicity" is no longer on the air.
88. kdoll said:
my initial reaction to reading those emails was frustration... i can't imagine opening my email and reading that shit. you're a strong person, heather!
and then the more i read... the more i actually giggled. some of those people take like FAR too serious. they're JEALOUS of you, they want to be at home with beautiful leta all day being adored by people all over the country (and probably the world)! we're all different, every single one of us. why can't we all accept that we're different, celebrate those differences, and be friends? i know that'll never happpen, but i sure wish it would.
heather, keep being you. these people who are complaining-- whyyyy are they still reading your blog? give it up people!!!
keep on keein' on, heather. i enjoy reading you EVERY DAY.
thank you!
89. ShortGrl said:
Okay, I hate to ask this, but I have a job that gets in the way. :) Where are these pictures of your awesome hair cut?
90. Sara said:
that was great! I started crying when I went to ikissyou.org. (I have home-car) More links like that please. how much time do these people spend writing hatemail and being offended?
91. Emily said:
Those e-mails are hysterical. But here's the thing I don't understand: When people dislike something, a website in this case, why do they insist on sending hate mail? When I go to a website I don't like, I simply click out of it and never go back. I've never felt compelled to send a piece of hate mail in my life. I'm a huge Internet nerd, but I still don't understand why people don't just get lives and move on with it. Why send nasty e-mails? What is the purpose? Especially if they aren't even intelligent and nasty.
But at least those of us who aren't psychos can get a good laugh from this, right?
92. mindylou00 said:
I'm pretty sure that I want to kick all of those people in the face. I only met you once in person, (at the austin meet and greet) but my impression was that you and Jon were some of the kindest people I've ever spent an afternoon with. I absolutley love your website, and I think what you are doing is amazing. I can't believe people can be so narrow-minded and shallow. Oh, and I'm pretty sure you have the cutest kid ever.
93. gypsy said:
Oh good grief. What is wrong with people? Oh, right: they're pathetic, humorless, twits who haven't figured out where the off button on their laptop is. Poor things.
Dooce, keep up the good work. I'd love to have my website covered with "The Man's" ads if it meant I could quit this godforsaken job.
Fuck em if they can't take a joke.
94. rivetergirl said:
What I don't understand is why these people keep reading this blog — unless you're taking a page from the Clockwork Orange handbook and are snatching innocent, non-poop talking people off the street, prying their eyes open and forcing them to read.
Are you really doing that? If so, can you come snatch me.
I hope to grow up to be you someday ... except I'm older than you. I hope to grow down to you some day.
Cheers to the dooce meanies for making me love to laugh at those who are more ludicrous than I am.
95. Methos04 said:
Hey! I like your site AND I found out about it just a few weeks ago AND on top of that your site was just mentioned in a Swiss journal (exclamation mark). That will bring a HUGE number of new readers... so as soon as all those weired people stop reading stuff they do not like ... they will be replaced by new fans :-)
96. Mindola said:
Is there a Canadian Version of Island of FagLesbian ? Because I think Heather's hair is hot. I also find terrible grammar, and pathetic sell-out syphilis mockers extremely sexy.
97. Vaguely Urban said:
I really admire the fact that you've chosen to view these ridiculous barbs as the COMEDY GOLD that they are.
My favorite: Tiffany R's insight that "no one can tell you what to not write." She's so right! Heather, I request that you take some time to not write a post comparing and contrasting the architecture of the 50 state capitol buildings.
p.s. big props to you and your cute hair.
98. wendy said:
The Island of FagLesbian? I want to move there and dress my dog in Christmas lights. I'll throw sweaty goat balls for him to chase, while I wait for the kids to bring me alcohol, because isn't that why I had kids in the first place?
I think the haters spend far too much time in Stepford.
99. Modern Day Hermit said:
WTF is wrong with people? Morons.
100. mindylou00 said:
I'm pretty sure that I want to kick all of those people in the face. I only met you once in person, (at the austin meet and greet) but my impression was that you and Jon were some of the kindest people I've ever spent an afternoon with. I absolutley love your website, and I think what you are doing is amazing. I can't believe people can be so narrow-minded and shallow. Oh, and I'm pretty sure you have the cutest kid ever.
101. Toyfoto said:
Well that was certainly entertaining. Thank you for spreading around the ire. To me, such hate mail would be terribly gratifying to receive. Especially since, for the most part, it seems strangely surreal. Of course hate mail is probably much better when it's adressed to someone else.
For the little it's worth, I know you'll be keeping up the "good" work, you have such a natural gift.
102. Amy said:
I will only keep reading IF and only IF I get to be the Vice President of the Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist Club!!
It is so much fun to read between the lines of miserable people, who have nothing better to do than send hate mail to a website THEY TYPE IN THE COMPUTER.
Another reason why I love the internet, especially with this site on it!
103. Modern Day Hermit said:
Forgot to add..
Do goat balls sweat? Interesting.
104. mindylou00 said:
I'm pretty sure that I want to kick all of those people in the face. I only met you once in person, (at the austin meet and greet) but my impression was that you and Jon were some of the kindest people I've ever spent an afternoon with. I absolutley love your website, and I think what you are doing is amazing. I can't believe people can be so narrow-minded and shallow. Oh, and I'm pretty sure you have the cutest kid ever.
105. rivetergirl said:
What I don't understand is why these people keep reading this blog — unless you're taking a page from the Clockwork Orange handbook and are snatching innocent, non-poop talking people off the street, prying their eyes open and forcing them to read.
Are you really doing that? If so, can you come snatch me.
I hope to grow up to be you someday ... except I'm older than you. I hope to grow down to you some day.
Cheers to the dooce meanies for making me love to laugh at those who are more ludicrous than I am.
106. Methos04 said:
Hey! I like your site AND I found out about it just a few weeks ago AND on top of that your site was just mentioned in a Swiss journal (exclamation mark). That will bring a HUGE number of new readers... so as soon as all those weired people stop reading stuff they do not like ... they will be replaced by new fans :-)
107. Modern Day Hermit said:
Forgot to add..
Do goat balls sweat? Interesting.
108. Amy said:
I will only keep reading IF and only IF I get to be the Vice President of the Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist Club!!
It is so much fun to read between the lines of miserable people, who have nothing better to do than send hate mail to a website THEY TYPE IN THE COMPUTER.
Another reason why I love the internet, especially with this site on it!
109. Amy said:
I will only keep reading IF and only IF I get to be the Vice President of the Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist Club!!
It is so much fun to read between the lines of miserable people, who have nothing better to do than send hate mail to a website THEY TYPE IN THE COMPUTER.
Another reason why I love the internet, especially with this site on it!
110. Toyfoto said:
Well that was certainly entertaining. Thank you for spreading around the ire. To me, such hate mail would be terribly gratifying to receive. Especially since, for the most part, it seems strangely surreal. Of course hate mail is probably much better when it's adressed to someone else.
For the little it's worth, I know you'll be keeping up the "good" work, you have such a natural gift.
111. HollyRhea.com said:
I once (yesterday) got into a very mild fight in a comments section of a some blog. It ruined my day. I don't know how you do it - staying so constantly genuine in the face of that. But I'm glad you do.
112. Elizabeth said:
Well...I'm not sure why anyone would take the time to login just so they could spew venomous ack at someone they don't know (she said as she had logged in to make a comment to someone she doesn't even know). Your website is just fine. Otherwise why would anyone read it? I happen to enjoy reading it. I like Chuck. I like Leta. I like Jon, and of course I like you. I think what's-her-name should realize that using exclamnation points on the Web is a privilege, not a right. I hope you appreciate how long it took me to look up the spelling of privilege. By the way, check out the Music Genome Project, if you're not already familiar with it. Go to Pandora.com. You can tell them what kind of music you want to hear. I think it's really funny because they won't play what you want but they'll play what they think you should want to hear. So get on with you life and enjoy spring. The snow has just melted where I live and we're having mud season.
113. sadiebeth said:
Heather-
I just wanted to tell you how much i absolutely LOVE your website!!! i HAVE to read it everyday!! Your family is so cute! Keep up the great writing!!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
114. mindylou00 said:
I'm pretty sure that I want to kick all of those people in the face. I only met you once in person, (at the austin meet and greet) but my impression was that you and Jon were some of the kindest people I've ever spent an afternoon with. I absolutley love your website, and I think what you are doing is amazing. I can't believe people can be so narrow-minded and shallow. Oh, and I'm pretty sure you have the cutest kid ever.
115. Wendy Mac said:
LIBERAL FOR DOOCE
Heather, you are awesome. I don't know how you do it.
When my blog was getting max of 10 readers a day, I was getting hate mail, which was totally unbelievable to me.
A personal blog is a personal blog- you are entitled to say whatever you want!
I put up my middle finger to all of the jerks. They're entitled to their own opinion, but for goodness sakes, GO CLICK SOMEWHERE ELSE! It's called freedom of speech.
Karma, people.
LIBERAL FOR PEACE
116. sadiebeth said:
Heather-
I just wanted to tell you how much i absolutely LOVE your website!!! i HAVE to read it everyday!! Your family is so cute! Keep up the great writing!!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
117. Meg said:
I. Had. No. Idea. These. People. Thought. Anyone. Cared.
I wrote a nasty email ONCE to a web site and it was to Fred Phelps! He told me I was going to hell! I was like, "AWESOME!"
Because I think all the good people are in Fred Phelps' Hell.
Heather, I'm glad you just keep being you.
118. megan said:
I haven't commented before, but I love your site and read it obsessively (I'm hoping my employer doesn't monitor my internet activity). I often have to keep from laughing out loud here in my cubicle farm.
I worry for these people who have the time to send such horrible, poorly-written emails.
(and please, please, please use the sweaty goat balls tagline)
p.s. I love your new haircut, too, and Leta is exceedingly adorable.
119. esthela said:
I don't remember ever reading the entry you wrote about how you're the perfect mom, wife, human being that gives these people an excuse to point out to you that you are in fact not perfect. Don't they get that you KNOW that and you're OK with that and that you have an amazing sense of humor about THAT. Put me on the side of people who GET you Heather.
120. Amy said:
I will only keep reading IF and only IF I get to be the Vice President of the Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist Club!!
It is so much fun to read between the lines of miserable people, who have nothing better to do than send hate mail to a website THEY TYPE IN THE COMPUTER.
Another reason why I love the internet, especially with this site on it!
121. sadiebeth said:
Heather-
I just wanted to tell you how much i absolutely LOVE your website!!! i HAVE to read it everyday!! Your family is so cute! Keep up the great writing!!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :)
122. Sara said:
That was great! I cried when I went to ikissyou.org (I have home-car). More links like that please. How much time do these people spend writing hate mail for all the things that they are constantly offended by?
123. AnnieKNodes said:
You're a great writer who's offering valuable insights You have inspired me and lots and lots of others to write.
What really bugs me is that people tend to call anything fulfilling "selfish." OK, sure, there's a self indulgent quality to any creative endeavor, but why is this wrong? Why is it so terrible to pursue something you love doing, something you've got a knack for, and (shudder) try to make a living from it?
ANSWER: It's not.
I hear FagLesbian Island is a great place to go when you're experimenting in college.
124. Nickie said:
You affect people's life every day, for better or worse.
How fucking cool is that?
Thanks for the laughs :)
125. janey83 said:
I don't adore you as a god, Heather. Sorry. But I do respect you as a person, and I like reading your site. I don't always agree with you, and while I'm SO sure you want to hear my specific reasons for not agreeing with you or sharing your brain or only ever thinking the same thoughts, I'm just going to have to assume that you already realize that no two people in the entire universe are ever going to have the same feelings about the same things.
Like when you posted about Jon farting to make George laugh--I was like, ew! Yet I strangely did not have the impulse to take precious minutes out of my day to tell you how I did not agree with that, and oddly, not agreeing with you did not make my head implode.
With that said I don't think you are particularly brave or special to share your thoughts with us, but for putting up with people and letting us contact you even though you KNOW there are people (myself sometimes included) who have not grown up yet, you must be commended.
I will also say that sometimes the things you say shock me, they often amuse me, and sometimes I even -agree-, but in no way or form are you ever obligated to change who you are to please me, some random stranger who you don't even know. I know, how kind of me! ;)
126. cryptocyber said:
I am shocked and outraged at the outrage and shock.
I think you have dealt with the shock and awe in the perfect way: answering those dissenters without providing them anymore publicity. Plus, every hate mail because blog fodder. Win win in my book.
127. Little Package said:
Silly people with envy & hate go Dooce yourselfs exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point!
I personally don't find that Heather's writing, style, insight, or perfect & hilarious snarkiness has done anything but matured. And I like it.
Besides, the Dooce posse wouldn't all fit through the stupid "trap door." You have to live with us!
128. AnnieKNodes said:
What really bugs me is the people tend to call anything fulfilling "selfish." OK, sure, there's a self indulgent quality to any creative endeavor, but why is this wrong? Why is it so terrible to pursue something you love doing, something you've got a knack for, and (shudder) try to make a living from it?
ANSWER: It's not.
I hear FagLesbian Island is a great place to go when you're experimenting in college.
129. Jaci said:
Twenty comments popped up while I was registering to comment about how much I appreciate your writing and your stories. 117 strangers probably love you and one more doesn't make a difference...but I wanted to let you know (with a squirming 15month old on my lap and a tooth throbbing-ache in my mouth) that you are helpful. I haven't had the same experiences as you but I feel that we have had similiar things go on and because of your blog, I feel less alone. And I appreciate that. I know that there are others out there who need that, too.
130. SassyPants said:
I'm a first-time commenter here, but I wanted to say that you truly have a gift and your writing-style is not only clever but has an undeniably witty charm to it that is too seldom found.
You'll never please everyone, but look at the vast majority that check your site everyday when they log onto their computer. We love you Dooce! Just keep doing what you do best girl. I'll keep reading.
131. esthela said:
I don't remember ever reading the entry you wrote about how you're the perfect mom, wife, human being that gives these people an excuse to point out to you that you are in fact not perfect. Don't they get that you KNOW that and you're OK with that and that you have an amazing sense of humor about THAT. Put me on the side of people who GET you Heather.
132. Jessica said:
Heather, you are the best! You have no idea how much the things you've written about have helped me, have made me feel less alone in my own struggles, have made me realize that better days will come. You often make me laugh out loud, and I admire your bravery in sharing your life with us. Leta is beautiful, and is so lucky to have a wonderful mom like you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all that you do!
Take care and keep up the amazing work,
Jessica :)
P.S. If you're ever in the Boston area, you have a drinking buddy in me. C'mon, you have to do a "Dooce World Tour"! :)
133. ChrisHolmes said:
I don't understand the comment about the ads. They are on the side of the page. My eyes have no trouble ignoring them.
Are people really this dumb?
134. AnnieKNodes said:
What really bugs me are the people tend to call anything fulfilling "selfish." OK, sure, there's a self indulgent quality to any creative endeavor, but why is this wrong? Why is it so terrible to pursue something you love doing, something you've got a knack for, and (shudder) try to make a living from it?
ANSWER: It's not.
I hear FagLesbian Island is a great place to go when you're experimenting in college.
135. Carli said:
FUCK THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE! Seriously, who has that much time on their hands that they spend it sending hate mail about lead in Christmas lights, the hidden virtues of an STD or "unbookmarking" someone. Get a life, you fuckin' wastoids! Go kick a tree or take a squirt gun to the neighbors cat or set your own hair on fire. Heather, you may not be mean, but send me their email so I can tell them how stupid, petty and obviously NON-FUCKING-CHRISTIAN they are, 'cause I'm one of the meanest people I know. THey'll also be hearing from me via the USPS when they take delivery of the raunchiest underground beastiality porn mags I can find, sent without brown wrapper. What especially pisses me off is when someone attacks a child. I hate those fuckers. Leta is beautiful and will grow up much more well adjusted than any of those skeevy bastards who have obviously run out of things to do. I love the Armstrongs, what they do and what they standfor. Have I said this yet? FUCK THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE EXCLAMATION FUCKING POINT. PS - Happy Easter this weekend :)
136. Herb Fairy said:
It seems that some people do not get the point of a Blog. It is to talk about your life. It is to entertain. It does not have to be some educational, insightfull, boring blog. It is supposed to be fun to look at. Sort of like Britney Spear's boobs.
I think it comes down to they are jealous that you found success and get paid for simply sharing your life with us and they have to go off to their boring jobs and file and make copies and complain that someone made the coffee to strong that morning. Goodness, I envy you as I sit here in my cublicle with no windows.
Keep up the good work. :)
137. greengirl said:
Heather,
I am a virgin when it comes to commenting on you website, but today I just had to let you know how I feel about you. My sister-in-law told me about your blog less than a year ago. I have read anything and everything you have posted, looked at all of the pictures you have taken and I feel like I have a connection with you even though you have never read a word I have written, until now. You have helped me through a really hard year by giving me numerous other topics to think about in my life. Your posts have helped me to take a step back and evaluate my life in a way I never would have, had I not read your blog. Sure there are things that you post that I don't agree with, (since I am a Happy Valley Mormon Chic) but I don't know what you have been through in your life to get to where you are and I can't say I wouldn't feel the exact same way. I value your life experiences and I am thankful that you share them in such a raw, exposed way. This has helped me to look at my insecurities and beliefs in a different light and I am a better person, I feel, because of you.
I am baffled and disgusted at the extremely negative emails people have sent to you. I don't get it... I don't know if there is anything you could ever say that would make me write you an email stating the things that were said (NO, this is not a challenge.) :) I don't understand why anyone would want to try and hurt someone else in the ways people have tried with you. I guess if you are that miserable in your own life then you want others to be as well.
The reason for this post is I just wanted to let you know that if I ever see you in public I am going to give you a big hug (even if you aren't a huggy person) because of everything you have helped me see and become.
(I am ready to barf now because of how this all sounds!)
138. TheBurryMan said:
Started reading Dooce because it was on one of those "best of" lists for writing, and being a writers' website I felt the need to check it out. As much as I like the tone of your writing, it is the snarky responses to your comments that I love! Oh, how we yearn for the pointy fangy barb of sarcasm, and how little we find. May you get time for an extended holiday on the Island of SarcastoFagLesbian, you deserve it. (And I don't miind the ads, being ADD I don't really see them unless they flash on and off ... ooooh, pretty ...)
139. SassyPants said:
I'm a first-time commenter here, but I wanted to say that you truly have a gift and your writing-style is not only clever but has an undeniably witty charm to it that is too seldom found.
You'll never please everyone, but look at the vast majority that check your site everyday when they log onto their computer. We love you Dooce! Just keep doing what you do best girl. I'll keep reading.
140. Jim Brodhead said:
I need to get an edge or something for my blog. Man, I don't get good stuff like that...what great stuff to spin off of. How about sharing the wealth...like make up a moronic name and cut and paste the stuff and post as a comment on my blog. It would save me having to look for original thought. Nobody would notice, only you and I would know because I am so far down the z-list that few would see it. If you can't do that, how about that picture that the mouth breather asked for and if the picture is too much I'll settle for the recipe for funeral potatoes.
The good news is that comments like all those you quoted just blow the theory of intelligent design right out the window.
141. ktmarie said:
I have read your blog for about a year now, and I have never ONCE doubted your love for your daughter or the concern you have for her upbringing and safety (and I'm a mother of a three-year-old little terror myself). The people who have e-mailed you concerning Leta are the ones who should be concerned about their own parenting skills. I read your blog because it makes me laugh so hard that I need to run to the bathroom. I don't always agree with your views on subjects, but I value and appreciate your writing - it makes my day a better one.
142. silverfoot said:
*chortle*
You know, if you actually listened to all those freaks, you'd leave yourself with nothing to write - no political opinions, and no poop stories? No smut and no pictures of Chuck with things on his head? I mean really, what else *is* there?
That said, I *totally* think the next major blogger conference should be on The Island of FagLesbian. You bring the water-based lube, i'll bring the maracas, and we'll see if we can't fire people up for a game of Strip Twister.
;-)
143. MommyofOne said:
Oh, Heather.
I'm sorry you get e-mails like this. Big bummer. It sounds like your sense of humor and perspective are in a terrific place though.
Sometimes I disagree with some things you say. Sometimes I get disagree with things Jon says (I'm a conservative Republican and a born-again Christian). But I still enjoy read your websites, because I RESPECT both of you. I respect that you have the guts to speak your minds for the public to read. I respect that you two make yourselves vulnerable. And I respect that you can make a living doing it, while giving the precious gift of time to your sweet daughter. And because of that I will keep coming back to read.
I enjoy your perspectives. Blurbodoocery helps keep my worldview from getting too narrow. Thank you!
144. Angela said:
Wow. It's really awful that people think they are entitled to say shit like that to you. I love that you are able to handle it so well and still laugh about it. I think your site and everything you say is absolutely awesome. Furthermore even if I disagree with something you say I'm still happy with you because I love how honestly you write and I admire you for it. Why are people so afraid of what is different?
Well you are completely awesome Dooce. I appreciate you and your site.
145. throwingutah said:
A dog has to be truly loved in order to put up with what Spaghetti-on-the-Snout puts up with. Obviously some people skipped the entry where Chuck got loose during your Amsterdam trip.
Leta is beautiful. You have an amazing photographic and written record of her entire life, and you've let us all share it.
She's only two months younger than my son, and I love reading about things that are going on in our house, too. I'm particularly looking forward to the "big-girl bed" chapter. A tip: our son spent his first few times in a big-boy bed at my parents' house when his cousins (3 and 1) were also visiting, so my folks were a little less patient than they might have been otherwise. He got out of bed twice and got Stern Voices, which he'd never heard before. It's been six months, and he's NEVER GOTTEN OUT OF BED BY HIMSELF. He'll sit there and yell for me, but he doesn't get up. Sweeeeeeet.
146. Erin MJ said:
Hi Heather!
I just wanted to tell you how much I love your site, and how much I don't care if you have ads, and how entertaining it is to hear you make fun of your hate mail! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point! =D
Also, "Good Bitch of the North" is possibly one of the best phrases ever conceived. I don't know if you made it up, but it made me laugh out loud all the same.
I hope this helps to increase your positive-to-negative feedback ratio. ;)
147. Lisa March said:
I LOVE HEATHER ARMSTRONG!!!
But not in a Brokeback kinda way.
Thank you for sharing wonderful, funny and honest stories about your life. YOUR ROCK! Well, let's be honest, you ROCK and ROLL girl :)
148. Kacey said:
"I'm going to start an "I Hate Dooce" club." What are you, like 10 years old? Real mature...
Heather, loved the part about snorting coke of Leta's bare tummy. That response made me laugh out loud at my desk. I too started blogging because of your site, and I'm a faithful reader. I think you're writing is amazing and witty. Keep up the good work and keep laughing at those negative souls who try to bring you down.
149. Angela said:
Wow. It's really awful that people think they are entitled to say shit like that to you. I love that you are able to handle it so well and still laugh about it. I think your site and everything you say is absolutely awesome. Furthermore even if I disagree with something you say I'm still happy with you because I love how honestly you write and I admire you for it. Why are people so afraid of what is different?
Well you are completely awesome Dooce. I appreciate you and your site.
150. Amanda B. said:
Yes, I'm having a bit of an issue myself.
It's so strange, people either seem to love or hate you- the point being that most people don't even know you. But the good usually outweighs the bad. Usually.
I'd say tell em to bite your ass but you don't really have one. So, they can bite mine. Bite my oh so ample ass, mean people.
!!!!
151. leftygrrrl said:
"I didn’t have a response to this email because I was too high from the cocaine I just snorted off Leta’s bare tummy."
Could we get a photo of that?
152. dithers said:
Thank you so much for sharing those 5 words from GEORGE!
153. Sarah said:
That was hilarious!
The more popular a person is, the more haters they get. That seems to be a fact. Most folks are jealous because THEY aren't able to live off of their websites. I say, lucky you!!
If you ever feel down about it, shoot me an email and I'll tell you all the things I love about you and your site...no charge! ;-)
154. Whinger said:
I love to hate the haters, but I must grudgingly acknowledge that they have some of the most fantastic opportunities for imagery out there. I could barely get beyond my mental picture of the Island FagLesbian (tastefully decorated with lots of power tools) to read the rest of the emails.
People rock. Even when they're lame.
155. LadySaffire said:
Ya know...there are just a lot of cranky people in our world. I love this site...and visit it VERY often. I love your view on things...your attitude...your sense of humor...and the pics. I'm a fan for life.
And to those that have an issue with Dooce...may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your crotch. Wait...that's not very fair to the fleas...
156. becky said:
i don't know how to quit you!
will you run away to Island of FagLesbian with me? and have lots of babies and raise them to be FagLesbians too? *snort*
i think the entertainment value would cause you to look for MORE things to write so you can get MORE hate mail. woo!
(yeah, i'm one of those no caps people.)
157. Ro said:
I stumbled upon your blog about a month ago ad I absolutely LOVE IT. I don’t know what it looked like before or even hat “before’ consisted of. All I know is that I find your words to be insightful and really funny. Those people that leave those hateful and sometimes contradicting comments are those people who are lonely, sad and terribly unhappy.
And you think you’re depressed. ïŠ
I enjoy reading about you and your hubby and Leta, and although I have no children just yet (I have 3 nephews) I understand that in order to stay completely sane you must find the beautiful silver lining in all things.
You’re great!!!!
Keep it up…..And don’t worry about the haters you could be giving away money and they would still be around…
Maybe the mail would read something like this
“Heather how could you? I can’t believe you are just giving strangers all of your money? You are so stupid! There are plenty of ways that you could invest your money!!!!!!!! You can have It all for yourself and even put some up for that poor defenseless child Leta! I’m so ashamed of you!! I’m never reading your blog again (unless you send me some)!!!!!!!!â€
158. starchitect said:
How dare you and Jon post your PERSONAL opinions on your PERSONAL websites!!!
What nerve!!!!
Seriously, are these people just now realizing your views on politics, religion, etc?!?!
159. ThreeBees said:
Oh yeah. Self-righteous people are totally hot.
160. Erin MJ said:
Hi Heather!
I just wanted to tell you how much I love your site, and how much I don't care if you have ads, and how entertaining it is to hear you make fun of your hate mail! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point! =D
Also, "Good Bitch of the North" is possibly one of the best phrases ever conceived. I don't know if you made it up, but it made me laugh out loud all the same.
I hope this helps to increase your positive-to-negative feedback ratio. ;)
161. Monika said:
Hi Heather
Okay, I've been reading your blog for about 3 years. Now, you've grown, and gotten married, and had a dog, and a child, dealt with home problems (kitchen debacle, etc.) and many other things. What happens is that some of your readers don't grow. They are the people who still walk around with mullets and wear jeans with the elastic waistebands. That's what I've gotten from those hateful emails. They want you to stay the same. Always.
Hello?! SHE'S NOT GONNA STAY THE SAME FOR YOU! SHE HAS A LIFE!
She's got the same sense of humour, if you put on mental block on the swearing and flipping the bird, and only recently realized that she DOES post some swearing and flips you the bird, if your own fault for being BLIND.
Heather, some people have sad, sad lives, they think they even MATTER by bringing you down. They forget that they don't matter, and try to fill up the void by being assholes. I love you and your family, and 98% of us (your readers) love you.
The haters? They can shove their emails up their hairy asses.
Oh, and a side note to Walter G, are you homophobic? Cause it seems like to you, being gay is an insult. Let me tell you that you are an ASSHOLE.
Thanks =)
162. Angela said:
Wow. It's really awful that people think they are entitled to say shit like that to you. I love that you are able to handle it so well and still laugh about it. I think your site and everything you say is absolutely awesome. Furthermore even if I disagree with something you say I'm still happy with you because I love how honestly you write and I admire you for it. Why are people so afraid of what is different?
Well you are completely awesome Dooce. I appreciate you and your site.
P.S. The Island of FagLesbian sounds fantastic! I feel the mothership calling me home.
163. shonad said:
I am never usually one to leave comments on people's sites, I the silent reader of the web!
But in this case i had to, OH MY GOD! What are those people all about????
If you don't like it, don't read it!
It's as if they expect everyone in the world to have the same opinions as they do, what a very dull world that would be!
Heather, you are an internet jem!
Jon, you are one hot sexy man!
Leta, you make me want to have babies cos hopefully they will be as cute and as full of life and personality as you are!
And Chuck, will you come live with me?
164. Whinger said:
I love to hate the haters, but I must grudgingly acknowledge that they have some of the most fantastic opportunities for imagery out there. I could barely get beyond my mental picture of the Island FagLesbian (tastefully decorated with lots of power tools) to read the rest of the emails.
People rock. Even when they're lame.
165. starchitect said:
How dare you and Jon post your PERSONAL opinions on your PERSONAL websites!!!
What nerve!!!!
Seriously, are these people just now realizing your views on politics, religion, etc?!?!
166. theburninator said:
OMG YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN THE I HATE DOOCE CLUB. We all get together to eat multivitamins, lust after Bob Costas, and order Prada online!
167. CharlotteMelissa said:
My two cents, in case you need a little more encouragement today...
Your site is hilarious, I enjoy visiting it every day.
I applaud your courage, creativity, and fabulous talent.
Your family is beautiful.
I cannot believe the negativity of people. No one is forcing them to read your site. It blows me away.
I felt for you as I was reading them, and admire your ability to take them in stride...with humor even.
Best of luck, and keep on keepin on!
168. Moon said:
Heather, I hope you're able to blow off at least some of the hate mail you get and not get too worked up over it. These people obviously have nothing better to do than to send ludicrous comments. Perhaps their time would be better spent getting their own lives rather than trying to tell you how to run yours.
I love your site and have been an avid viewer since I discovered it (I'm ashamed to say just a few months ago). I probably shouldn't say this but the ads don't bother me because, frankly, I just don't look at them.
Leta is close to the same age as one of my girls and I'm very often amused because they seem to mimic each other's behavior a lot and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one sometimes that can perfectly understand why some animals eat their young. It's very obvious to me that your little girl means the world to you and your husband. Your monthly letters to her are precious and they often remind me to go update my own journals I keep for our girls.
Here's wishing you all the best and keep up the wonderful work!
169. sally said:
Dear Heather,
I love you more than I can express! Every day I visit your blog and laugh out loud in my silent dorm room where my studying roommate looks at me with irritation. I am only a college freshman, but despite all these people who insist that your parenting is "immature," you've given me hope and and are one of the few instances where parenting seems like a plausible road. I felt like all adults became boring, snobby, and self-righteous after having children, but you (and Jon!) have proved me wrong. It is so refreshing to see parents who managed to maintain a SENSE OF HUMOR! And what is the problem in selling out? I don't know where so many people get the impression that you're some sort of superhuman who can support your family without an income! So what if there are ads? All the amazing content is still there. You need that money to pamper that kid of yours that you love so much. Plus, I think you're beautiful and although I enjoy the idea of someone who LOOKS like sweaty goat balls, you, unfortunately, just do not qualify. You really are in inspiration, Heather, and I think all these naysayers should get a life and stop ragging someone as original and clever as you.
170. Jim Brodhead said:
If they are shooting at you, you must be doing something right!
171. Erin MJ said:
Hi Heather!
I just wanted to tell you how much I love your site, and how much I don't care if you have ads, and how entertaining it is to hear you make fun of your hate mail! Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point! =D
Also, "Good Bitch of the North" is possibly one of the best phrases ever conceived. I don't know if you made it up, but it made me laugh out loud all the same.
I hope this helps to increase your positive-to-negative feedback ratio. ;)
172. Chantel said:
I don't mind the ads. I've actually clicked on some because I might have been interested in the pandering. Isn't that what they're for. I love people who go off on those who supposedly "sell out"; you know they would jump at the chance to do the same thing if they could. So much for the American Dream really existing.
I love your site and your monthly letters to Leta make me cry sometimes. I feel the same way about my children and I'm bluntly honest with myself and my abilities as a mother and sometimes motherhood is gross comedy.
If you're going to hell; I'll hold the trap door to hell open for you if you want to do a back flip through the doorway?
173. Marieke said:
“I Hate Dooce†club? For reals? This woman is totally obsessed with you. But I don't blame her....cuz you rock!
174. Sharon Faulk said:
Wow! Being popular kind of sucks. I would have shut the blog down by the tird email.
Well done!
175. Mistress Erin said:
Does anyone know how to book a vacation to FagLesbian Island? I have packed my lube and whipped cream and I am ready to GO!
I love you Heather! (exclamation point, exclamation point)
176. Mrs Ca said:
I think it's funny how much people despise change, even when it's something that is so totally beyond their control. Yes, your content is different than what it was in the beginning of this site, but your life is different. Why shouldn't your writing change as you do?
People who worry about what you write or how you live your life obviously have too much time on their hands. Who are they to judge?
I enjoy your writing and (especially) your pictures and continue to be a loyal reader.
177. cheechoo said:
Well, I think the site's never been better (exclamation point) And hey, would it be possible for my son Cameron to get a date with Leta when he's old enough? In, say, 50 years or so?
178. smoness said:
Do people just not understand good sarcasm any more?? Your site brings a ray of sunshine down on my computer every day. You f-ing rock the camel's hump, Heather. Don't change a damned thing!
179. Dayna Lee said:
"Dooce meanies" (from comment 102) is another fine phrase to add to the Urban Dictionary. We could all have a field day posting definitions to it. Jealousy is such an ugly color on people.
180. Meredith Seiverd said:
I think it is funny that some people seem to feel "forced" to be here and read the blog. They don't seem to understand that this is YOUR website and not theirs. Dog forbid that someone not like what you have to say. Here are some simple tips for people that can't seem to stop reading even though they are offended:
1. If you are glued to your seat and don't know what to do about being oversensitive to web content, look down at your keyboard and press that key with the apple on it and the W at the same time... or control + W (if that is the PC way) then stand up, and walk away.
2. I hear that getting a sense of humor is pretty easy these days with all the places to shop online. Always try to find an auction that offers free shipping, use Buy-it-now, and make sure the use the whole thing when it gets to your house. Don't want any to go to waste, do we?
There, isn't that better?
181. iamchanelle said:
heather, you ROCK. you say it as it is, as you see it, and i find that refreshing!!!
and if people don't like what you have to say...QUIT READING IT ALREADY AND SHUT UP!
exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point....
182. CrazyHoosierGal said:
I love you, Heather [exclamation point, exclamation point] I want to have, like, 10,000 of your babies [exclamation point, exclamation point] Let's run away to the Island of FagLesbian, drink tequila, and further offend rabid Mormans [exclamation point, exclamation point]
183. Dennis said:
Well? Is Shannon hot, or what? GEORGE! isn't the only one who wants to know.
184. Alissa Szarek said:
At least they make us laugh? I was so excited when you opened up your comments again. A friend had explained to me why you shut them off, that you were getting really mean comments etc... and after you posted about Leta's sleeping patterns I understood why! I am in awe of people who are so perfect. Thanks for putting yourself out there everyday. It is truly one of the high points of my day.
PS: Leta constantly makes my ovaries burst. She is beautiful.
185. trevordlb said:
Oh, PLEASE tell us the e-mail addresses...
186. karen said:
I don't really understand this. Why, when people don't like something on a website, do they feel the need to send hate mail? It's called a personal website for a reason. Just don't read it anymore. I find it hilarious that people think they're being superior when they don't like someone's writing so they email them and say shit about their children. Nice.
187. BREM experience said:
This is by far the best post you've done in ages!
We want more!
I want more.
You rule, Heather. Do you know that?
You fucking rule.
188. The Mighty Jimbo said:
heather, i want to encourage hate mail just because it's the funniest stuff i have seen today. spread the hate!
shit.
i really need to get some trolls for my site.
189. Taegan7879 said:
Is the FagLesbian Island stop BEFORE or AFTER the Gates of Hell? Cause, I'm gonna need to pack extra clothes....
Dont let them get you down Sarah..er.. Heather! :D You Rock. I'm moving to Utah in 6 months... wanna set our kids up on a playdate :D My 2 year old son is way hot.. for a 2 year old.
190. Karen Rani said:
Wow. Jealous much? What a bunch of losers! Keep on keepin' on Armstrongs - a lot of people would love to be in your shoes so you must be doing something right! Clearly it easy for some people to be mean over the internet. They forget there are real people with feelings on the other end of their toxic words.
191. jae said:
Isn't vanity and self-indulgence the whole point of personal websites and blogs? If you're going to do it, at least do it well!
192. mm said:
Hi Heather. I just wanted to let you know that 1) YOU ROCK! Don't listen to those crazy people. I guess there are a lot of people who need to find some innocent blogger to dump their shit on, it makes them feel better about themselves; and 2) I have been reading your site for well over a year. To tell you the truth, I don't even notice the ads. Why are people making such a big deal out of them?
Anyway, I hope you don't let the haters get you down. Most of us appreciate your view of the world, and appreciate the laugh. (Get it people....you can laugh at stuff, you'll be o.k.)
193. SarahJanesmomSue said:
Okay - that cracked me up. People KILL me, exclamation point. It seems to me in fact, that you have a remarkable ability to show how fun and crazy everyday life can be. It is good to be reminded of that. As for Leta, I think she has a great mom who is clearly smart, very funny and not afraid to be flawed. You go girl!
194. Beachgal said:
I love the people that complain about the ads. Yeah, i noticed they started up, but you know what? It's NOT that hard to ignore them. I do it quite easily. Do I know that they are they, of course, but it does not affect my experience of reading Dooce.
Long time reader here, no complaints. If people don't like your site/content/whatever, they need to just go away.
Beachgal
195. SarahJanesmomSue said:
Okay - that cracked me up. People KILL me, exclamation point. It seems to me in fact, that you have a remarkable ability to show how fun and crazy everyday life can be. It is good to be reminded of that. As for Leta, I think she has a great mom who is clearly smart, very funny and not afraid to be flawed. You go girl!
196. lisa ann said:
People need to seriously fucker off and get a life (insert several exclamation points here). I love how they tell you what you should post and not post. Um hello? It's your blog. Dooce-haters, if you don't like it, don't read it. Maybe that should be your new tagline.
197. nicolelise said:
I work for a Congressman, and people call the office and talk the worst shit about him all day long--some days it makes me cry and it isn't even about me! I can't imagine what it would be like to handle personal attacks. I love the way you've handled these emails, I don't know how you manage to do so with such humor and grace. It reminds me of why I like this website so much. Not to mention Jon's- (maybe because of all that liberal propaganda?) In fact, I had a dream I was at a Swim Herschel Swim concert last night. I woke up so embarassed that I couldn't even look him in the eye in your daily photo.
198. bookworm said:
Here's a novel idea: If you don't like the blog, don't read it!!! Now why didn't I think of that? I can't remember the last blog I read that didn't have ads on it, so why that's an issue I have no idea.
If people get this hateful over a difference of opinion on a blog, how do they cope with a difference of opinion in real life?
I wonder what the haters think about the people who send videos into those funniest videos shows - I've seen much worse than christmas lights draped over Chuck. (Is lead absorbed thru the skin? I thought you had to eat it.)
Anyway, I think your blog is wonderful. You've made me laugh and cry, and I really have to stop reading it at work before my boss figures out what I'm doing back here!
PS: Is Jon going to grow back the beard? That was sexy.
199. AngieC said:
BAAAHHH! I'm so sweaty. BAAAAHHH!
200. Poopville said:
I wish I could think of mean things to write so I could become infamous on your website but alas, I cannot. I don't like to say/write mean things, I just poop them out; I'd like to poop on these stupid, waste-of-air-have-nothing-better-to-do-than-contribute-nothing-to-society morons. Wait, was that mean?
201. Ro said:
I stumbled upon your blog about a month ago ad I absolutely LOVE IT. I don’t know what it looked like before or even hat “before’ consisted of. All I know is that I find your words to be insightful and really funny. Those people that leave those hateful and sometimes contradicting comments are those people who are lonely, sad and terribly unhappy.
And you think you’re depressed. ïŠ
I enjoy reading about you and your hubby and Leta, and although I have no children just yet (I have 3 nephews) I understand that in order to stay completely sane you must find the beautiful silver lining in all things.
You’re great!!!!
Keep it up…..And don’t worry about the haters you could be giving away money and they would still be around…
Maybe the mail would read something like this
“Heather how could you? I can’t believe you are just giving strangers all of your money? You are so stupid! There are plenty of ways that you could invest your money!!!!!!!! You can have It all for yourself and even put some up for that poor defenseless child Leta! I’m so ashamed of you!! I’m never reading your blog again (unless you send me some)!!!!!!!!â€
202. NixMom said:
Wait, wait, wait...I was never told of a trap door to Hell. I was told that I would be either be
A) driving the bus
or
B) handing out ice water and handbaskets.
The lack of communication around this place sucks and I for one, am not going to stand it any longer!
Kidding of course, love the site Dooce. All those emails prove, ya gotta have the bottom of the barrel so you can have the top...
Valerie
203. staceymay said:
I too am a card carrying Mormon who reads your site daily. I don't always agree with what you say, and sometimes I find it offensive, but that happens when I turn on the TV too. So what? Your site has brought a smile to me on more than one occasion, and I have even gotten strange looks at work for bursting out laughing. I've even recommended your site for others to enjoy. My name's Stacey, and I'm a dooce-a-holic.
204. battybeyond said:
I'm sorry. That's just the best hatemail ever. Who actually SENDS hatemail?? I mean... I know no one really cares about my opinion, especially if I DONT LIKE something. It's like.. geeze, there're all kinds of blogs that I stop reading, or wont read to begin with, because they cease being fun. But I know the author doesn't CARE. They're doing what they do because it's right or good for them and they need to get something off their chests. That includes 13 yr olds who only type in lettrz & #'s & :) faces and people with political opinions that differ from my own. Trust me, I don't read this site because of the political or religious opinions are so like my own lol. Right now you're all sitting there not caring about how I dont care LOL. For God sakes... just close the freaking browser. Or click on google and go find a blog you DO want to read. Or better yet... open up your own blog and bitch about someone elses' blog in an entry that a bunch of people dont want to read. That's the nature of the beast. Do you think your opinions are so important? Is someone supposed to change their blog because you stopped liking it, or agreeing with it?? Geeze. That's like expecting Harrison Ford to shave off his crazy Sadam Hussein beard just because he looks like a crazy old man with it on, and you find that to be offensive. Harrison ford is just about as likely to cave into your shaving the crazy old guy beard as a blogger is to cave into your demand to make their blog look more like YOUR blog.
...I hate self-important people :)
< / rant>
205. geokaz said:
I have a three month old son and recently began posting on my site a series of vignettes called "Memoirs on Mommihood." Not just a stranger but one of my best friends from college had the nerve to tell me that suggesting I thought the glow of pregnancy was really the sweat of nausea and that the whole nine months was tortorous for me would make my son believe I didn't love him when he grew up. Bad mommy, bad mommy! At least I'm in good company. And frankly, I'd rather be in your company, Dooce, than psuedo friends who swing judgemental sticks at my head with the same relish that I reserve for eating a pint of Haagen Daaz Vanilla.
206. LateModel said:
I have no tolerance for the haters. I hate them.
207. Z said:
I heard that no goat balls were sweaty on FagLesbian Island!
208. Nomad said:
Heather,
I am very glad you write what you do. For those astonished at your writing topics, I think we should remind them that that's what a blog is all about. An online web log. An online journal... you know, like the kind that you write in, about your daily activities, your thoughts, secret crushes, quotes, babies, husbands, political inclinations...
Oh, and I love the idea of a trap door to hell. Judgment Day! *snap-crackle-pop* and *swoosh* (!!!) - the heathens fall down into the earth, trap door spinning wildly where they once stood. Cliche red Devil maniacally rubs his hands together, all the while atop the earth the pious and righteous rejoice (they are victorious against drugs, sex, and rock and roll and never waivered, after all), inevitable falling to their darker desires in a heady moment of weakness- which of course would be writing spiteful, mean-spirited and frankly, poopy emails.
209. sarandipity said:
Oh my lord people are weird. And need more interesting things to do in their lives.
For the record, I LOVE your site so much, and was so aghast that ANYONE could not like you, that I immediately registered myself, just so I could leave a comment stating, simply:
YOU ROCK! YOU ROCK! YOU ROCK!!! (I TOO, have an exclamation point addition).
Heather, you're a great mom, you clearly love Leta more than anything in life, and you're doing her MAJOR FAVORS for the rest of her life by approaching things with a touch of humor. You make me laugh all the time.
I think you're fabulous. Anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong and sucks at life. :)
210. Becky said:
Man, those are ridiculous emails. I'm so, so, so glad that you're finding a way to ignore them. You sort of remind me of Howard Stern in a way (no, wait, hear me out...) He has such a huge following of people who both love and hate him, however BOTH groups religiously listen to him every single day. In your case that would be read, but same difference.
Sometimes people are so unhappy in their own lives they have to send emails to other people who are doing just fine. I guarantee if you met these people in person they would not say these things to you. I guarantee if you looked into their lives, you'd see quite a lot of tarnish.
You have courage and talent and honesty. Keep writing and growing and changing as you naturally will and I appreciate that you share that with us.
:)
211. callipyge said:
1. You're a great source of inspiration and the living proof that one can be a great mom without being sucked into "The Mold".
2. I am a foreigner, recently green carded (wooha) and I have to admit that I am FREAKING OUT about the day I will bring children to the world in this country. I feel that society gives the childless more rights/privacy than to people with children. And that the day you have children, your business becomes everybody's business. People feel they have a moral duty and obligation to preach and bring people in the right path of Momism. It's like, for some, motherhood/parenthood is an intolerant fanaticism over here.
I like this country nevertheless, but I can't help feeling that women have an easier time being mothers in France (my home), where people just mind their own business.
3. "Les chiens aboient et la caravane passe." A great saying to live by.
212. junewell said:
Wow, these people are nuts. Except possibly for the last one, who I suspect may be about 12 years old and thus deficient in perspective (yet typically generous with punctuation).
213. Zee said:
Ads? WHAT Ads? You have ads on your site?
Seriously, I [almost] don't even notice them anymore. I had other thoughts come up too, while I was cracking up at the post, but other people have commented more eloquently than I could.
SO, suffice to say, I (heart) you Heather, and dooce.com, and I always walk away from a post with something good - be it humor, insight or whatever.
Keep doing what you're doing - you make a very real difference every day. :)
214. vegasandvenice said:
It is my personal belief that if someone can not be... oh lets say famous or worth paying any attention to, that they think the only way to draw any attention to themselves is by hating the people who are worth paying attention to!
Doesn't it make them special that out of thousands and thousands of people they get to be the very special elite group of people who dislike you! Aren't they so cool! Gosh, how I wish I could be filled with hate!
How sad are we that we realize that blogs are personal recordings of feelings and thoughts. And we are smart enough to appreciate the fact that even though blogs are available to the public that it does not mean they are forced to read or agree. Clearly all bloggers are wasting their time since instead of forcing people to read our words we could all be out there doing some serious hating!
*I know that this is not perfectly typed or properly worded and I am okay with that. I think the point is worthy anyway.*
215. Jules said:
I haven't laughed that hard in weeks! Thanks again for making my day at work easier to handle... Leta is a lucky girl. I wish I grew up with a mom like you (not that my mom isn't "fantabulous", she just wasn't as hip).
216. Jonniker said:
Is it feasible that Mindy was kidding? Or being a little sarcastic? I mean, lead paint and dogs and all. Christ. I can't believe she was serious.
The rest of them might need a little help. Or a lot. Or some meds. Lithium might be nice.
217. Cat said:
These are hysterical! I wouldn't have believed so many people capable of such breathtaking stupidity--but then I did read all the bad comments to the baby-sleeping post and now nothing shocks me. Are you absolutely *sure* that you don't want to publish the email addresses? I mean, as a character-building exercise. I think it would provide a clue to some people who are desperately in need of one. But then, you are obviously a much nicer person than I am.
Seriously .. . love your website. You are an awesome writer. The traffic you get is proof of that, if you needed any.
218. drowninginkids said:
You know, i'm really sorry that you get the hate mail. I know it's fun to make fun of it, but i'm sure sometimes it hurts. So take care, you're awesome.
Also, i've been listening to "I'll Believe in Anything" a lot in the past 24 hours. It really is such a fantastic song. So thanks for that too.
219. Zee said:
Ads? WHAT Ads? You have ads on your site?
Seriously, I [almost] don't even notice them anymore and occasionally I even click through on one or two of them. I had other thoughts come up too, while I was cracking up at the post, but other people have commented more eloquently than I could.
SO, suffice to say, I (heart) you Heather, and dooce.com, and I always walk away from your posts with something good - be it humor, insight or just a wish that I was a better writer. :)
Keep doing what you're doing - you make a very real difference every day. :)
220. Lisa B said:
dear heather - (all lower case) -
i love your site.
i smile when bloglines tells me you've updated.
i think your daughter is beautiful and i love the stories you tell about her. it's exciting that we (your public) get to watch her grow up.
i think you are blessed to be able to spend time with your husband jon.
i don't notice the ads at all.
i read about your life and it makes me excited that someday i'll be a mom - and that it is possible to be a real life interesting human being at the same time.
thanks. exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point.
221. Lynnlaw said:
More than anything, I wish I could pull this kind of venom from people. You are so the cool girl in high school. (I mean that in a good way.)
222. ourfinestyear said:
Heather, I LOVE your site. I check it multiple times every day, simply because your entries make me laugh so hard that my sides hurt. Thanks so much for sharing your life with us! Haters=suck.
And Leta is the most adorable child just about...ever.
223. paper said:
TOP OF THE FOODCHAIN, DOOCE!
you rock!
your hate mail rocks!
go, you piss off all the right people.
224. Miss Hass said:
Thanks for making the dumbasses of America the perfect comic relief after a long day at school. You are hilarious and perceptive and I love reading all that comes forth from the blurbodoocery.
225. mjoy said:
Touche, Dooce! I think your site rocks--you keep me laughing. Plus, I can tell you really love Leta; those people are crazy. Who needs 'em, anyway??
226. C W said:
"All in all, women like you seriously have no business having kids at this juncture."
I hope you can find the juncture at some point, Heather. With the help of Jesus Christ. Or possibly LCD.
Thank god you have so many people who know how to raise your kid better than you, otherwise HOW WOULD YOU SURVIVE!?!?
227. Aquasparkle said:
Island of FagLesbian is seriously funny. How did the Kids in the Hall not do a skit about it?
The ads are fine. Your site should generate income for the family. People need to get past feeling entitled to web content that is free of ads when a subscription model is not in place. Oh yeah... and they should Suck It too.
228. madge said:
HILARIOUS (except not really since clearly these people were trying to, at the very least, ruin your day).
I don't understand people who write negative emails about a personal (PERSONAL! [EXCLAMATION POINT]) website. No likey? No readey. Mkay? Move on.
I likey. I likey A LOT. I also likey The Isle of FagLesbian. That would be an awesome Survivor locale...
229. amy Jacobs said:
Oh dear Heather, you must do this more often. I knew you must get outrageously crazy hate mail...and I was right. These people are absolute bonkers! Crazy is so much fun to watch and/or read. Publish more! This is one of your best posts lately because I so enjoyed you telling them to go "f" themselves in the most subtly, brillant way. Way to go. I swear, living in Memphis gives people an edge that is so useful! I lived in Memphis for nine loooong years. I gots the edge I tell ya. Not like you, but it's there. I do get worried for you guys and safety and such. People are such freaks. You're so brave for dealing with these nuts. Just watch Leta when you go out in public. Leary of the day someone will say something to you in front of her or worse. Getting a stun gun might not be a bad idea. Too bad you can't use it over the Net!
230. Heather Anne said:
Interesting that all the people who criticized your grammar used poor grammar. Good for you for being able to laugh! I'd also better watch out for that secret trapdoor to hell. Thanks for the heads up. I didn't even know it existed.
231. SurprisingWoman said:
I can hardly wait for the new masthead, "Now with MORE sweaty goat balls!" bwahahaha
Aren't people a riot! Water off a duck's back, no big deal. They are all positively green (or blue?) with envy.
Tell them to go get dooced. *snort*
BTW My girlfriends and I have a ring side table reserved in hell. Right next to the stage, great location. It will be a blast, my friends are the best. Consider yourself invited to join us.
xoxo
232. Cbr929Girl said:
I've never left a comment on a blog, but when I saw your last post, I just had to sign up for a typepad account so that I could.
I'm shocked at the immaturity and plain hatefulness of some people. And yet I find it highly entertaining. If I was in your shoes however, I don't think I'd be able to take it as well. It seems that if they hated you that much, it would be too much effort to go to the website and leave a comment.
As a person that also suffers from depression, I have enjoyed reading your website since I found it last summer. It makes my day to come home from a stressful, long day and drop onto the site to get a couple of laughs. I've told tons of people about it.
You'll always be in my bookmarks. :-)
233. Jenorama said:
Can't. Stop. Laughing.
Thanks for sharing.
234. Caroline said:
Heather, You Rock.
235. shanco said:
Dooce--just a positive word to go with all the negativity. I really enjoy your website and have for awhile now. You write honest and good stories about everyday life. While the ads can be a bit over powering at times...I understand that this is your job and you need to make food for Leta not to eat. Plus, who ever thought I would visit a website for the Footballers Wives show? Kudos for you and your family putting yourseves out there for our entertainment.
PS...this is a great way to see how many people really enjoy your site!
236. HeatherG said:
I've been reading for about a year, have wanted to comment often, but never had anything worthwhile to say. I don't have anything original to add here, but I swear I just couldn't NOT be part of the "we love you just the way you are" chorus.
Dooce, my dear, I'm 5 months pregnant with my first baby and reading YOUR blog gave me the courage to want to BE a mom in the first place. Oh, and I totally want to give my kid magic marker 'tattoos' now. Maybe I could do my belly for practice....
Your courage, sense of humor, honesty, wit, and did I mention honesty and courage? - are so freakin' refreshing. The world needs more Dooce and Chuck and Leta and Jon and DORJ! and Tales of the Avon World Sales Leader and... I could go on.
Please don't ever doubt for a SECOND the course your lives have taken. People who bitch about the ads are just JEALOUS that they have to shlep to an office everyday instead of having the balls to follow their bliss and do what it takes to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
YOU ROCK LIKE HOT LAVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
237. Friday said:
Oh dear. Did the Second Coming happen already or what? I was kind of hoping to say goodbye to those suited, kindly men who sometimes ring my doorbell on Saturday morning. Heather, you are a fortress (full of sweaty goat balls, mmmmm). Keep rocking it out controversial-like.
238. JenC said:
I'll also de-lurk just to say thank you for the laugh. I count on you for my daily afternoon pick-me-up.
Getting hate mail just sucks, especially when they jab at your family (who on earth could even think that Leta isn't just the cutest little kid on the planet???). But your attitude about it rocks.
Thanks for just being you!
239. Adrienne said:
Ok, so when do we get to see your sexual picture? And will you incorporate the lead-filled christmas lights in to said picture?
Funny stuff! I don't know how I would deal with hate mail, myself.
240. vermontchickie said:
Even though I'm pretty much repeating what everyone else has said, I'm gonna say it anyway. Why on earth would people waste their time writing to you to tell you what they dislike about you? It's so lame. I really don't get why they can't just stop reading your blog if they hate it so much.
I've been reading your stuff for a little over a year now, and I love it. You've got a great sense of humor and are obviously very intelligent. I was raised in a really strict church, so I can relate to (and laugh about) your feelings on religion.
The bottom line: You are awesome, and those haters are just a bunch of douchebags.
241. wealhtheow said:
OK, there are now no limits to the amount of love I have for GEORGE!
Also, I think I'd be totally down with a church that eschews a belief in trapdoors. Trapdoors! What the hell do we need them for anyhow?
242. Lucy said:
A friend pointed me to your site about a year ago and I read you daily. I think your writing is great, hilarious and from the heart. Fuck the haters (and the Mormons).
Oh, and when you go to the Island of FagLesbian, can I come too? :)
243. tastelikepink said:
Heather I love your website! I always share the stories from here with my boyfriend and he loves it too!!! I think all these people that are complaining should just not look at your site....this is your personal blog and you can talk about whatever you desire. Screw them!! I still love your site and I think you and your husband and your daughter are awesome!!
244. Charles said:
I'm a lurker - I've never commented before. But when I read this bit, I had to:
"The trap door to hell will open and I might fall in with you."
First, yes! That makes it so much simpler, I always wondered how I was going to end up there, but now that I am aware of the trap door, my life feels so much more complete. I always thought I would have to arrange for cab fare, etc. (is there a trapdoor for the FagLesbian Island too? That would make life a cake walk [Exclamation Point. Exclamation Point.])
As for your ads: Girl, your content is so fabulous that the ads almost disappear. (Of course I click on a couple every now and then just to do my part for your revenue [Exclamation Point])
Thanks Heather! I couldn't live without multiple daily dooceings.
245. SurprisingWoman said:
One more comment, damn I wish I was still single. That Mahir looks like quite the catch. Yummm..
bwahahahahah
246. Holly L said:
First of all, people are stupid. I look forward DAILY to reading dooce and I've been going back through the archives because seriously, I just can't get enough. My boyfriend has accused me of becoming a stalker.
Secondly, I had to write a paper for college on abortion and got called a baby killer by tons of people via email because I talked about it on my blog.
When they called me that I just placed this picture on my blog in response:
http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/5940/fetus7fh.jpg
Or maybe it had nothing to do with the paper and just the fact that I confessed to killing hundreds of babies all over America.
Who can say?
247. KarinGal said:
Those who can write, do.
And those who can't, write doo doo.
These folks just wish they had an ounce of your doociness.
248. Thierry said:
Hi Heather,
After being this total lurker for months...
Those comments, good or bad, are but just a reflection of human nature. It is far too easy to be judgemental about anything and everything because it means you can take your attention away from the most important. Judging oneself is always the hard bit so turning your attention to others is a good escape. At least you don't have to watch yourself.
All these criticisms, hate-mail etc, well they may well be a way to exorcise their own demons - who knows?
Life as I see it is just trying to do the best you can. You make errors along the way, you will fail on some things and achieve greatness on others. The courage is in the trying.
I am actually a big fan of yours and Jon and in awe at your courage to get public with your private life. I myself could not be so open.
These comments, at least this is the way I see it, just show that whatever motivation you have is actually working out because it means your voice is heard - and gosh, the reply level is high!
For whatever it's worth I just hope that I will be this caring and loving for my family. In the meantime, I will religiously check my rss feed for more of the Armstrongs goodness that makes me think the tough, hard reality of life and a certain sense of humour are still a component of humanity.
Smooth sailing!
249. agog said:
I've been to the Island of FagLesbian. Best.Party.Ever.
to The people who are so bothered by the ads. I guess it really is hard to FOCUS ON THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKIN' PAGE! Idiots. They're just jealous that they are on the 9-5 chaingang...
PS If you use the Sweaty Goat Balls as a header, you totally HAVE to find a picture...
250. Amie Smith said:
I think you should hold a contest for your readers with winners getting a vacation with you to the Island of FagLesbian. We will all submit creative photos or postcards containing the words "I hate Dooce Club." Extra bonus points if the photo contains pets wrapped in lead or anybody with "scary" hair ala Leta.
251. MeAhna said:
And. I must say that I admire the way you handle those trolls. I would flip the hell out. If they hate your shit so much, why do they come back? (It's your flippin page, you could post your sexual picture if you wanted. BTW-I am sure we all want to see it....-tee hee hee half kidding)I gotta say though, you are pretty interesting. You know you kick ass when people you dont even know talk shit about you. (I am also looking forward to the goat balls-good times)
252. MeAhna said:
And. I must say that I admire the way you handle those trolls. I would flip the hell out. If they hate your shit so much, why do they come back? (It's your flippin page, you could post your sexual picture if you wanted. BTW-I am sure we all want to see it....-tee hee hee half kidding)I gotta say though, you are pretty interesting. You know you kick ass when people you dont even know talk shit about you. (I am also looking forward to the goat balls-good times)
253. mehrunissa said:
I'm usually too lazy to comment on anybody's blogs, but dude...I love people like that, because it makes me feel SO good about myself. I mean, seriously, how can they not boost your ego? If there are fools like that in the world, and you're not one of them, life is good.
254. Jenna said:
Hey Heather,
You rock my world.
In the morning I check your site out for new posts while my boyfriend is sleeping (I'm totally falling through the trap door for living in sin...) and sometimes I laugh so hard that I wake him up, and I'm not a laugh-out-louder.
You're flipping funny and your whole family is fabulous too... Including Chuck of course.
255. skippy said:
What a bunch of bitches! I heart dooce.com!
256. Flambo said:
Heather, all I can say is, ...I love your site. It has helped me cope with my PPD, so in a sense you have been more than just entertainment - you're like online therapy! And you don't even charge by the hour!
So thanks for keeping it all going, even in spite of these assholes!
257. Hope said:
Make money while being a stay at home mom? HORRORS!
If people don't like your blog I am perplexed at why they would read it? It's not like you're forcing your blog onto computer screens across the world...
I think you're brilliant.
258. Snigelfutz said:
I just wanted to tell you that no matter what some limp nuts loser says, you have a beautiful daughter and you do an awesome job on your blog. For the haters who have a problem with you making money from the ads, they are probably just jealous losers. I think it is wonderful that you can make money doing this, you totally deserve it! For the crazies that post the things about your daughter, your parenting, your writing, and your husbands writing, etc... You have reminded me why most people think Americans are hateful bigoted losers! Be happy for someones sucess! Heather and Jon you seem like wonderful parents, keep up the good work!
259. PitPat said:
Huh. And I thought I was weird for sending you and Jon advice about Chuck's anal glands.
Ads? What ads...? Oh those things on the side that you can easily ignore (though you could also click through and show a lil love) while being entertained and enchanted by stories big and small and delightful photographs? Um, yeahhhh....
Well, gosh, all I can do is devote a long Bronx cheer to the haters and a toss a hearty dose of love to you, Jon, Leta, GEORGE!, your whole family, the bee-you-tiful state of Utah...
260. Jennifer Schutz said:
Major props to you for being able to laugh at all those hatemails. Rediculous as they are, I think it would get to me after awhile.
What I have to wonder is, if they hate you so much, why are they still reading your website and being offended? You have freedom of speech, and we have freedom of the mouse-click. If a website offends you, don't click on it. If you accidentally stumble onto a website that offends you, welcome to the internet. If you can't take the heat, get off the web.
I'd be proud to stand next to someone like you on Judgement Day. Although I doubt there will be anything as cool as trapdoors to hell.
261. MTSP said:
It's amazing to me how negative some people can be. Like there aren't enough problems in the world - they need to create more. Whatever. THEY need to get lives and stop telling you to get a life.
Checking your site 2, 3 times a day is one of the few joys I get on a daily basis as I sit at my boring job. PLEASE don't stop writing.
Leta is freaking adorable. I LOVE her pigtails. And you are a great mother. It's so obvious. Chuck is total cutie pie. Jon is awesome. The two of you are just great. Again, it's so obvious how much you love and care about each other. You have a wonderful family - it's a pleasure reading about you.
About the ads. Hello, welcome to the US. We have a capitalist society. It's nice to be able to feed yourself and still do something that you enjoy for a living. You are a very talented writer and have wonderful insights. Dammit, why shouldn't you get paid for that? Sell-out my ass - smart is more like it. I say, good for you. :)
262. Lindsey said:
Why don't these people just read the blog to make themselves feel better about their lives? I mean, I feel like a better mom whenever I read your blog....
I kid, I kid...
I think you are great, and hope you never change.
263. Amie Smith said:
Because there is nothing scarier than a toddler in pigtails!
Kidding of course, which is why I put quotes around her "scary" hair. Leta's hair is so cute and she's got a lot of it (I was bald for years).
264. Mel said:
Heather -
You probably have thousands of people reading your blog and barely notice when comments are made, but I have to say that I am APPALLED at how disrespectful people can be. It's YOUR page, not theirs and you can write whatever you damn well please. That's what personal blogging is about. And all this whining and crying about the ads?? Goodness...It's not that bad at all. The blog is STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PAGE. Not like you write your entries in the columns where the ads are. I'm so sick of people and their lack of tolerance for another's personal views and venting.
Some just need something to complain about or judge.
Anyway, I frequent your site and Jon's site on a regular basis and am now an ultimate fan. DON'T GO AWAY! :) I find your daily blurbs to be hilarious (and I love hearing your point of view).
Have a great day!
265. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
I'm really looking forward to the point they start legislative action on your site. I mean, seriously. If people who hate you HAVE to read your blog, then we really should have government entities step in, form sub-committees, rate the content, categorize it, limit time of day for posting, make sure no alcohol ads run until after 9pm, my god, the list could just go on and on, the ways we need protection from the corrupting dooce.com...... Or, gosh golly, what a novel notion, we could celebrate free speech and grow the fuck up and take responsibility for ourselves? Oh yeah, that's too tall an order. Better stick with government intervention. Goosestepping underwritten by Dooce. And Hair-Mete, manufacturer of top-quality sweaty goat balls.
266. Jordan said:
To the Haters:
Just because you disagree with someone doesn't give you the right to be mean. Did you learn nothing in elementary school? Sheesh! If you don't like it, then don't read it. If you absolutely have to voice your opinion, then the least you can do is be nice. You really don't want to be that mean kid, do you?
To Heather:
Your site is great. You put yourself out there for everyone to read, and that takes some seriously sweaty goat balls, especially with the trolls that seem to love hating you. Keep up the great work.
Oh, and today's picture totally made my ovaries explode. The cuteness totally makes me want a baby.
267. Jamie said:
I don't have anything to say other than... YOU ROCK!! If I wasn't so damn straight, I'd want to sleep with you on the Island of FagLesbian.
268. Celine said:
Bah!..and DUH!
Don't they get that's it's called "a personal website" for a reason?! It's YOUR website and you have the choice to put whatever you want on it. Likewise, it's their choice to visit dooce.com. If it really makes them that upset, bitter and hateful, they should just keep away!
Geeez....
Glad you're able to laugh it up though! It's that awesome sense of humour that I love about your cracking writing.:)
269. leigh said:
Hi Heather,
I've been lurking for a while. I'm a busy single mom, not a lot of time to get close to other mothers. So it is so good to read about your experiences as a mom, and I am grateful for your honesty.
I'm glad you are taking the high road vis-a-vis those freaks that find it necessary to actually write you with their unhelpful criticisms (Hello? Move the fuck on, the Internet is a mighty big place).
But you could send their email addresses to me and I could submit them to QueerWorld.com...
Except for the guy who indicated that Leta was less than cute. There is something seriously wrong with him that I think massive doses of laxative snuck into his food might help. If we can't do that, well, there is a trap door to Hell under his feet anyway.
Leigh
270. Fujiko said:
It says a lot about a person when they go out of their way to insult someone else for no good reason. I'm accutely aware of this "habit" of others now that I've worked in the retail/customer service industry for a few years. It's not the same as unsolicited nasty and mean emails, but people still have a hard time grasping the fact that customer service people are not verbal and emotional punching bags with no feelings, and that we don't make the policies; we're forced to use them. So don't yell at us when we can't process your return when you lost your receipt, and no, I can't use your credit card statement or a copy of your check as a receipt.
IT'S NOT THE SAME THING, PEOPLE!!!!!!1!!1!!ONE!
I could go on for pages, but I'm cutting myself off here, before I break the keyboard.
Dooce, I love ya. Don't let people, who are delusional and think you are their personal entertainment puppet, get you down. And if you are lucky enough to meet any of these charming people in person, brush up against them and FART. And make sure it's stinky. Then walk away. That'll get 'em for SURE!
Oh, and one other thing. If you feel the urge to yell at retail workers, ask for the manager and yell at them instead. They get paid better...just for that purpose. ;)
271. Janerie said:
Hey! When is CBS launching "Survivor: FagLesbian Island?"
Good god, Heather, thanks for sharing. Not only is the hatemail hilarious, but you have some damn funny readers too (as evidenced by this comments section). I have tears streaming from my eyes as I type. Which is my excuse for any grammatical errors Keri R. might like to correct.
I have two words for all the haters: Ass. Hats.
Keep it up, Dooce! (That sounded oddly wrong).
272. Charlotte said:
I'm totally loving the sweaty goat balls :-D
273. Rebecca said:
Those comments are hilarious, pathetic and sad at the same time (oh a little tired). Trolls will be trolls.
p.s. I don't know whether it's the bunnies or the cross stitching or what but the april masthead - I'm lovin' it!
274. Joni said:
I found this website a year ago and have read every entry, some more than once. Many times I've laughed so hard, I cried.
You are an amazing writer and your talent is a gift to us all. Your family is happy and healthy and what greater blessing does life offer?
Nutjobs are everywhere. Thanks for sharing their craziness with us and keep up the excellent work!
275. rockr girl said:
i love you. i really do. and the side-commentary about these emails only makes me love you more.
and coindicentally, i am adoring GEORGE! for his "ask her if she's hot" comment. that is funny shit.
you know, where i'm from (the scary mid-west), we take them sweaty goat balls and fry 'em up. Rocky Mountain Ersters! YUM!
276. Mandy said:
Heather: You are strong. Me: I am oversensitive. I wish I could have a stronger exterior. Any bashing I receive, I typically take personally.
Cheers that you can laugh. Comments can be cruel, and frankly quite PSYCHO. I'm not sure why people, when they get mad or frustrated, don't just click on the red "X" in the upper right hand corner, eh?
Thanks for the laughs. You and Jon are geniuses. And as for the ads, kudos for making money at something that you love. As for Leta, she is awesome and is almost as funny as you are.
Thanks for letting us look into your life a bit. Much appreciated from Oregon...
277. JennyRyan said:
Hi, Heather.
You, ROCK! You have inspired me to let out my own "inner dooce". You have inspired me to tell the humorous truth about my own life. You have inspired me to figure out what kind of stuff I can put on my cats and then take pictures of. Keep up the fantastic work!
I know it's not always easy to be a truth-teller, but you do it so magnificently.
I am the truth-teller in my circle of influence, and even though that is what people come to me for, because no one else around them will do it, they are always a little uncomfortable about it at the same time. It's kind of an attraction-repulsion sort of thing, something it sounds like you are very familiar with. :)
278. cristina said:
My boss says EXPLANATION POINT
It drives me completely INSANE
279. pupkick said:
The site has certainly changed direction and theme over the last however-long-it-may-be.. but... isn't that the point? Isn't that life?
I love the crap about the ads too, there are such SIMPLE ways around them... :P
280. gorillabuns said:
i find it pretty funny that this IS your blog and you can write and post anything you want, so why all the hate? why expend all the energy to write shitty comments and emails if they don't agree with you? just don't visit, plain and simple.
i for one love to visit your site. you say things that i think and i personally love it when you cuss like a sailor. it keeps me coming back for more....
disclaimer: i'm in no way related to the non-cap crappy responder. i'm just a lazy person.
281. Amy said:
Oh Heather, I laughed so hard. People are so bizarre. They were probably just hoping you would publish their blog links so they could get more hits. My favorites were the people accusing you of selling out, that they couldn't find the posts for the ads. If it's THAT hard to find the BIG COLUMN IN THE MIDDLE of a web page, they have bigger problems than not liking ads. Thanks for the time out from work.
282. Jen said:
Wow.
I heart you, Heather. I don't share your beliefs on a lot of issues but I think you're hella funny and read every day...have for a couple of years now.
I wish I could be as open and honest on my site. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
283. Juliness said:
I'm a long time reader but this is my first comment. I've been tempted to post here numerous times after either being brought to tears or belly laughs by one of your posts. There have been many times when I've been reading and thought, "Wow, that is EXACTLY how I feel." I had to write today after wading through the morass of ignorance displayed in those ridiculous hate mails. Great approach handling them, by the way.
I began my own blog because I adored the freedom with which people like you and Mrs. Kennedy write. Nothing is off limits and that kind of bravery impresses the hell out of me. I devour books and am thrilled when I can devote a morning or afternoon to "just" write. But blogging is something I never would have done without your example of how to do it well.
Thank you so much for your honesty and your Dooce-ness. I am fortunate to have found you. In the words of my favorite uncle, "Don't take shit from anybody."
284. DesiDancer said:
fuck the haters. Every day I look forward to a new post from you, especially if it's one that will make me laugh so hard, out loud, that I'll completely embarrass myself (again) in the office.
You're doing your best; can all the haters say as much with regard to their lives? I mean, really, isn't it all just BS and smoke & mirrors that we're supposed to pretend our married/mothering lives are all perfect, all the time. I, for one, am glad that there is a Dooce, and that you are single-handedly blowing the lid off the perfection myth. Half of the struggle mothers have is the feeling of isolation and the illusion that nobody else has ever struggled. Thank you for saying it how it is. And for sharing constipation stories. You're my hero.
285. d-mode said:
I will pray for you Heather...and John...and Leta.
Love,
D-mode.
286. Kathleen said:
Are these people for real? If they hate your site so much, why are they sending hate mail? Why not just STOP READING and GO AWAY? I love this site. I read it every day. It makes me laugh when I read about Leta doing things my little boys does, or Chuck doing something my dog does. It's a little frightning how often I talk about you. But almost always in a good way.
I must love Sweaty Goat Balls.
287. duchessjane said:
The "ask her if she's hot" comment made me snort Mountain Dew up my nose.
288. srah said:
I like you, and if I didn't I wouldn't be here. Thanks for writing!
289. amber said:
I was crying with laughter from some of these. I mean, the Island of FagLesbian? Surely that commenter is twelve years old. Like many other people who have commented, I find it funny that people send you these comments or emails and yet seem to keep coming back for more. Clearly you inspire something in them, and that's always a good sign for a writer.
I love your site. I like watching Leta grow up and hearing about your experiences as a parent. Also, you frequently make me laugh so hard I snort, which is fun for my coworkers, so... Keep up the good work.
290. Ellen said:
Dooce, I love your site! Here's my thought, for what it's worth. If folks are going to get their panties in a knot because you are expressing your opinion, then that's their problem, not yours. You have to be true to yourself. Who says we all have to agree on everything anyhow? The world would be an awfully boring place in that case.
Keep doing your thing and don't let the crazies get to you.
291. katielauren said:
You do what you do, better than anyone else in the world could do it, and I say that with a lot of!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lauren
292. emily said:
i must say, with everything going on in the world today...it's your page that ruffles their feathers?? Come on.
Those people don't deserve to read your page....
293. jenrab said:
Heather,
I just wanted to chime in to say that the throngs of people that admire and appreciate your words, far outweigh all of those hatemail-sending schleps.
In fact, you're a popular topic on one of my message boards. You and the life you lead strike a chord for so many of us. One of my friends posted about a woman who met you in Austin. After meeting you she said:
"There are so many women in my generation who are trying to create a unique existence separate from the ones we were raised with..."
I have to ditto that sentiment.
I can't even begin to describe how much Dooce and the whole Armstrong family inspires me. Once upon a time, when nothing mattered and writing was all I cared about, j-school teachers threw below average grades at me and said things like, I wasn't good enough to pursue what I wanted. Your whole mantra speaks to me, and emphasizes that need to conquer the past and to champion the future, even if it means to "aim low."
You and your family relationships are such a parallel to how I appreciate each and every dysfunctional nuance of my own family.
So, thank you for being so kick ass.
Oh, and when you DO leave for FagLesbian, sign me up! ...and I hope we can wear shirts like these http://tinyurl.com/lzuov
294. EvatheK said:
I read your site every day. So do the other moms in my mother's club. We think you are great. If the idiots that send you hate mail don't like it, tell them to stuff it.
Eva
295. deafmomworld said:
Hmmm.... Hmmm.... Mary S must have missed the monthly letter you write to Leta. Those pictures you post of Leta speaks a thousand or even a million words. The pictures show that you love Leta and are a good mother. Dooce, I find your website funny and inspiring. Those who sent you hate mail need to take a step back and get a 2nd look at life. Nothing is perfect and that you have absolutely every right to say what you want to say.
Keep up the good scarcasm!!!! (exclamation point extraorniare!)
296. yogurtweaver said:
.....[thud]......[wheeze].....
Sorry, just recovering from a momentary lapse of composure. Thank you for sharing the wonder that is ikissyou.org - Heather, you've well and truly made my day!
297. Shelley Bonnechance said:
Oh, Heather....
Some people really suck. Can you imagine being so filled with hate that you had to let it pour out onto a blogger so that your evil head wouldn't explode?
I used to write a column for the local newspaper - nothing exciting, served a rural midwestern county with a total population of about 20,000 people, only about six of whom actually subscribed - and once after I wrote a column expressing concern for the high incidence of teen pregnancy in our county, someone came to my house and left a letter in my mailbox that spewed all kinds of written vomit, including the hope that both of my daughters would get pregnant at age 12.
The sad thing is that the person obviously knew me.
And, of course, it was unsigned.
I burned it out in the backyard. At first I thought I'd be able to do that just with the furious glare from my eyeballs, but it turned out that I needed an Aim-n-Flame.
I don't know why people would get so unhinged about ads. And your writing is not self-indulgent. Basically, you have the exact same life as all the rest of us Shit Ass Ho Motherfuckers.
I think you're great.
298. bored_in_kansas said:
PFFFTTTT!!!!! I hate small minded a--holes...PPFFTTT!!!! All I have to say is if you don't like don't read it. Same thing as if you don't like don't watch it. PFFTTT!!!!! I love love love LOVE LVOE...by the way did i mention I LOVE your website? Man if i don't get my daily Dooce dose then I'm not capable of functioning for the rest of the day!!! Keep up the good work!!! and to the others in those emails PFFTTT!!!! Go crawl back into your little hole where you call your life, and shut the HELL UP!!!
299. Red said:
Heather,
When I first read some of the "meanie" emails that mentioned all of the ads on your website, my first thought was, "Ads? What ads?" I honestly never really noticed them! I think I (along with most other people) have this ability to tune out things I don't want to see and focus in on the things I do want to see - such as the fabulous writing that you do. Also, to the person who said that Leta will think you don't love her - I couldn't disagree more. Those monthly letters that you write to her are so precious - and real. Your letters to her will be especially meaningful for her once she becomes a mother. I wish I had been told not only how wonderful and magical it is to have a child, but also how boring and frustrating and exhausting it is as well. Please keep up the awesome work that you do - as long as you're writing, I'll be reading!
Red
300. Strizz said:
Strizz's baby would say to them:
"Sut up doodoo hed"