Yes...

Before therapy I would have said a resounding, NO! I didn't regret anything, I wouldn't change a thing.

But after, I would say yes.
People make mistakes and learn from them. It doesn't mean they HAD to occur, it just means they did and this is what I learned. I learned that some of those mistakes I could have lived without.

The thing I would have changed? I wouldn't have chosen to be a participant in ruining those relationships that I did. I would have chosen not to cause hurt to those people.

That and FORCED my parents to buy me a pony. Life is so much better with Ponies!

I wouldn't have dropped out of high school in the 10th grade. Seriously. I mean, turns out it wasn't that big of a deal, because I ended up graduating law school with honors, but imagine what could have been if I just would have sucked it up and stuck it out? Shiiiiiiit...I could be the next President!
Oh, and I wouldn't have believed that Turk when he said he wanted to marry me because he loved me, not for a green card. But whatever.

I wish I hadn't learned to be superstitious. Because mostly I think it's a load of claptrap and snake oil thinking, but I still can't shake it - just in case!

I wish I'd stood up for myself more.

I wish I would slept around more in college.

Well, I suppose it's pretty petty in the grand scheme of things, but I REALLY wish I'd taken advantage of the amazing study abroad opportunities when I was in college. It will never be that easy again. I didn't go for several reasons that felt really important at the time but in retrospect were awfully stupid. Man, I could have been in Greece for six months. Instead I hung around campus like an idiot.

honestly, i can't think of anything i regret. does that mean i haven't taken enough risks in my life? i don't know.

i do wish that i had chosen another college to attend, or transfered when i decided to change majors- but my relationship with my best friend was formed in the latter years of school, and i wouldn't give that for anything.

so no regrets- at least for now. i'm about to be a parent and i'm sure i'll regret half the decisions i make starting down this new path in life.

I wish I had listened more to myself than to others who I thought knew better. I grew to believe that they knew better than me what was best for me.

For example, I wish I had told people to go screw themselves when they pushed me to finish college when I wasn't ready. Now, I have a worthless degree and am in serious debt. I know they meant well but oh, how I wish I could go back and change that.

I wish I'd learned to love myself as a child. I'm in my 30s now and it's much harder to learn stuff like that now. (If you've figured out the magic secret, please forward it along.)

I shouldn't have made that left turn at Albuquerque. . .

I wish I hadn't spent so much time worrying about what other people thought about me. ALthough, I imagine most people spend a good chunk of their adolescence doing just that. I'm 35 now, and I've only in very recent years decided that it just isn't worth worrying about what someone else is thinking.

Happy web anniversary, Heather. You continue to inspire me on a daily basis!

Used to think I regretted leaving one job 10 years ago. Had I not, I wouldn't be where I am right now, in an area where I've always wanted to live, where my spouse and I relocated less than 6 months ago - just up and quit our jobs and have found comparable, if not better, jobs.

No regrets, have lived more than half a century, looking forward to more.

wow, 6 years! congratulations.

right on with the sunscreen. me, too. also: be more patient when my daughter behaves like a maniac.

If I could change anything (and there's still time, I know)...
During my teen years, I wish I wouldn't have been so hung up on caring about what others thought of me and my actions. Lived life as I wanted and not how I thought others wanted me to.

I would have traveled a hell of lot more if it weren't for the fear of something REALLY BAD happening to me if I left the 50 mile radius I grew up in.

Fear sucks.

I wish I had known I would get cancer at 24--I wouldn't have worked so hard in college.

There was that one time at band camp...

Just kidding. I've never even been in a band, much less band camp.

I don't know what I regret. I'm certain there are things but they're relatively minor and pretty inconsequential, like I probably shouldn't have taken my top off that time in Mexico (true story).

I've learned some great life lessons so it's hard to regret doing something when you've learned so much from it. You may regret what you wrote about your boss but really, you learned from that experience. Now you (hopefully) know better than to do something like that again.

Happy Birthday, dooce.com!

the thing i regret most doing was joining the military. they simply care nothing for the person, the military only cares about the whole group, and its hidden moto is "for the good of the city", and in the end it causes many sensitive, good people to become someone who hates their life. where once i was an optimistic, happy person i am now a cynical skeptical, generally unhappy person. true, the military is appropriate for some people who can stand up under this kind of emotional weight, but i regret not finding that sensitivity of mine to be a deciding factor in NOT joining the military. however, i support the military whole-heartedly and hope that there will one day be no more war... i guess that might be wishful thinking, but we can hope, can't we? what is life without hope?

I regret not running away from home. My parents were great but they should have fled the rural south like it was on fire and raised their kids in a city where they could learn algebra, the full gamut of Archemedian solids, and possibly take advantage of a halfway decent IB program.

I also regret having children. I mean, they're cute and really come in handy when I need the trash taken out or I make too much soup but honestly, if they had any idea where I could've been by now if it weren't for them, they'd move to an orphanage pronto.

I was going to backpack across Europe then write a multi-million dollar script about the life of Buckminster Fuller becoming a secret Bolivian spy.

But no. First of all, because of my rural education, I couldn't find Bolivia even though I looked on every page of my USA travel atlas. Secondly, those frikkin' kids take up all my time. First diapers, now Magnet school applications. Like all day.

While it's not a regret, it's more of a wish..

I wish I could write as eloquently as you, Dooce. You're a great writer and storyteller. I love hitting the "refresh" button and watching the number of comments grow exponentially.

I almost forgot: Happy Birthday, Dooce!

Why didn't I go on more road trips while in college? I was poor, but that is no reason not to drive to Mexico or New Orleans or, hell, even Topeka for spring break.

Also, I regret all the perms. Ever.

One thing I don't regret was my boyfriend in high school. I probably should have known that he was gay.

If the only thing you'd differently is wearing more sunscreen...then you've created a pretty damn good life! I agree that you can't live with regrets. Sometimes things happen out of our control and sometimes we create situations that are out of control. Live and learn and be happy along the way.

The fact that you can admit you treated your boss badly, shows that you definitely lived & learned.

Congrats!

I regret that I didn't major in journalism or creative writing and that I went to a school in Nebraska. You wonder why I went to a school in Nebraska? I have no idea. It's flat, and shopping was 1.5 hours away. And it wasn't even on the interesting side where there are real cities. No, it was on the west side in a place called Chadron. Cute town, and hilly, strangely enough, but still Nebraska.

I also regret that time I told my new friend that her baby was ugly. I was making a joke, because we always joked and giggled and she had brought in a photo of the baby she had just gone on maternity leave to have, and new babies are always ugly.

I have a habit of burying my foot down my throat. Because then she said that the baby in the photo was dead. The umbilical cord had wrapped around its neck in birth, and she had come in to the office to let us know, and that she was still taking part of her maternity leave.

So then I went and shot myself. ;)

FUCKIN'

DOOCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry i didn't take the chances I wanted. If I had i would be worth millions by now. I listen to what others told me not what my heart tld me.

Don

First: congratulations on the web anniversary!

I don't think I get to look back with authority and regret yet, as I'm only 20 years old, but I know that in 40 years time I will regret all the worrying I'm doing right now. My brain doesn't stop, though.

Wouldn't it be great if our future selves could send present-day-us a postcard with just five simple words? (it will all be OK)

I'd make all the same mistakes over again, but would do them sooner so that I could get to this delicious part of my life I'm in right now with the Right Guy. I also wish I had worn more sunscreen.

I regret not setting my ex-husband free when a few weeks prior to our 1992 wedding he got very cold feet. He was too young, 23, had deep personal troubles, and no real experience with women or relationships. Ignoring that was the single thing that has shaped my adult years since. 15 yrs later and I am just now becoming a whole person again, free to love honestly.

Of course I have regrets: Not telling my grandparents what they really meant to me before they died, being so shy and afraid in high school, the haircuts, etc.

But if I change any of those things, I change who I am now. And I like how I am and who I am becomming. I have a good life, a great husband, and have the promise of more great things to come.

I take out those regrets, every so often, and shine them in the light, turn them over and around, inspect them, acknowledge them, try to not repeat the same mistakes, and then gently put them back where they came from.

I'd have used common sense and not believed that man.
I'd have played sports in college.
I'd have majored in English or Fine Arts.
If it were at all possible, I'd have loved and respected myself more despite the circumstances of my family situation.

I am doing just fine now. So I guess it was all ok.

I would not have let anyone convince me my birthmark was unattractive. I would have realized that it can be a bad idea to play hard to get with someone so shy. I would not have told my mother the truth when I did the way I did - it was a tough time and neither of us were ready to handle it.

I also would not have bought those god-awful pink courdoroy pants.

I wish I remembered where I left all the bodies...

Geez, everyone is so serious today.
I wish I had studied more languages.

I would tell my dad I loved him the last time I talked to him before he died, instead of being a cool 16-year-old with a chip on my shoulder.

I would give C one less chance and J one more.

I would never ever dye my hair blonde.

And finally, I would punch my step-father in the face instead of being all mature and even-tempered this past spring.

Happy Sixth. I love how you describe Leta's comings and goings and everything in between. You are unbelievably sensitive to what it feels like to be a child. And no, that's not because you're childish.

There were two guys in college who were clearly going to be very, very important to me. Unfortunately, I met them at the same time. I had to choose, and what I regret is that not only did I choose the wrong guy, but I then spent six unhappy years with him.

And I can't take it back.

The number one thing I would change? I wish I knew what I know now about money and how to save it.

When I was in my early 20s (back in the Stone Age), all I wanted to do was hang out with my friends and partay). I never looked ahead to the future, never socked any money away for a rainy day.

Fast forward to 2007. I am 49-going-on-50, make a decent salary, have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, but I STILL LIVE IN A FREAKING APARTMENT! No, I don't have any debt but I also don't have enough $$$ for a down payment on a house. So, it looks like I'll be a renter until my bones turn to dust or I win the lottery. Yes, it sucks, thanks for asking.

Word to the wise: Save something for your old age, which isn't that old any more.

I would have:

- done more drugs while I was young (why not?)
- followed my gut instinct with respect to risk
- been less judgmental
- started jogging in university
- had more fun, worked less hours, told my mother I loved her more frequently.

Wow, what a huge question.

I would have told the rest of the world to go screw itself and gotten down to serious writing sooner. I love it, and I spent years too afraid to tackle it.

I wish I had finished college. Not that I necessarily want to be doing anything different with my life, but the fact that my degree sits 1/2 finished bothers me. And now I'm not in a position financially to finish it just for the sake of finishing it. But no regrets - my life wouldn't be what it is today if I had taken that path.

One thing I do regret is taking my parents for granted. I wish I had appreciated them more. I can never fix that.

Where to start? I'd choose not to have hurt my wife. I'd have pursued a writing career much earlier in life. I'd have delayed marriage. I'd have lived with less fear of everything, failure in particular. I'd have realized sooner that we take life far to seriously. I could go on but who really cares, right?

Happy 6 Dooce

I wish I didnt have to seak approval from everyone around me, it is exhausting.

I'm very much about no regret, but I wish I would've been a little more active in my college search 10 years ago. I went to a mediocre state university 15 minutes away from where I grew up because I had no guidance to encourage me to do otherwise. I lived with my parents and therefore never had the experience of living in a dorm. I know now that I could've gotten into a much better school, away from home, and I would most likely be more educated and connected. However, I made some of my best friends going to that mediocre state university, and I'm decently successful as is, 2500 miles away from home, so I guess everything happens for a reason.

Still, when I send those student loan checks every month, I can't help but wish I was paying for a better education.

Oh, so very, very much.... But there are things that I can't change because the good things that came from them would be lost as well, and I just can't trade that stuff.

If I could erase a few of the memories of those stupid, painful choices, though... Yeah, I'd sign up for all that. (Don't mention Eternal Sunshine, I get it!)

I have always and will always regret that I didn't go off to college right after high school. I feel like I missed out on such a big part of life, living the college life. I will be 30 this year. About 2 years ago I gave up on going to school for a degree. After graduating from high school I attended multiple colleges. I have student loans with no degree to show for them. I don't have the motivation to complete a degree and I am finally able to admit that I am just not cut out for college classes. It's just who I am.

I wish I'd been more open to people when I was younger.
Though I'll admit I'm probably more closed now.

I wish I would have embraced my wildness a little bit more, instead of hiding it for all those years.
On the other hand, that might have ended with a teenage pregnancy, so I take it all back.

I do wish I'd worn more sunscreen.

I've typed and erased things things that I think I regret (long distance relationships during college, and another one after college, getting engaged too young, waiting too long to learn I'm not too good to work at the mall if I LOVE my job), but they helped me learn what I really do and don't want. So I think I needed to make those choices.

Mostly I regret the stupid stuff, like using my debit card ignorantly a few times only to find out that I those $5 purchases were costing me like $100 in overdraft fees. Last week.

Sigh.

I wish I hadn't mouthed off as many times as I have, saying the things I've said which were very insensitive and knee jerk reactions. Some of these things haven't come back to bite me in the ass, some of them will and I'm just waiting for the guillotine to drop.

But on the other hand, maybe it's a good thing that I've let my mouth go ballistic. Or else I wouldn't have learned the hard way when it's time to speak up, and when it's time to shut my trap.

I regret listening to all the people who told me I could never make a living by working for myself. And all those who doubted I would be able to support myself through my writing. I regret not being brave enough to have moved to Paris 20 years ago instead of waiting until now to do it. I regret all the times I let my fears prevent me from doing things I really wanted to do, including finding real love.

But I AM making a living as a writer. Not a big one, yet, but it's a start. And I DID move to Paris, finally, four months ago. Best thing I ever did. I'm still working on the finding real love part, but in the meantime I'm much better at loving MYSELF so I think it's only a matter of time. And now my goal in life is not to let my fear stand in the way, ever again. It's a good way to live.

Class act, by the way, apologizing to your former boss. Even if she never reads it and never knows about, it's about YOU being complete and forgiving yourself. Yay, you. And happy 6th... my blog just past it's 2nd!

Wow! That's great that you apologized to her, but at the same time it's not as if you wrote it with the intention of her reading it. I'm sure she's said things about people behind their backs, too. It's Human nature.

I wish I could take back a lot of things I've said without thinking. I wish I'd taken more chances when I was younger, and when I look back in 20 years I'll probably wish I'd taken more chances now. That thought depresses me a little.

I regret listening to all the people who told me I could never make a living by working for myself. And all those who doubted I would be able to support myself through my writing. I regret not being brave enough to have moved to Paris 20 years ago instead of waiting until now to do it. I regret all the times I let my fears prevent me from doing things I really wanted to do, including finding real love.

But I AM making a living as a writer. Not a big one, yet, but it's a start. And I DID move to Paris, finally, four months ago. Best thing I ever did. I'm still working on the finding real love part, but in the meantime I'm much better at loving MYSELF so I think it's only a matter of time. And now my goal in life is not to let my fear stand in the way, ever again. It's a good way to live.

Class act, by the way, apologizing to your former boss. Even if she never reads it and never knows about, it's about YOU being complete and forgiving yourself. Yay, you. And happy 6th... my blog just past it's 2nd!

i reread my comment. when I said 'it's not as if you wrote it with the intention of her reading it', by 'it', i meant the original post that got you in trouble.

I regret not having better grammar and puntuation skills.

I would have gone to a state school and been kinder to my mother, who died when I was 20 and she was 52.
I would have studied abroad in college.
I would have punched that one guy in the neck when he asked the morning after I lost my virginity to him if I "didn't think two people were able to do IT with no strings attached and without loving each other?" Not that I didn't like the sex part. I just wanted to do it with someone who actually cared about me and not just himself.

I wish I had gone to law school. I was very close but put it off to marry my husband. I think we would have married anyway. And I wish I'd had a third child. I had my tubes tied 10 minutes after delivering my second child. A nine month pregnant woman should not make that decision. And I regretted it the moment they started but I was "too polite" to interupt. I was stupid.

There's nothing I really regret and I don't know if I would change anything because I really like where I'm at now.

But I wish my girlfriend and I had been honest from the beginning. And I wish we didn't have to keep secrets from each other.

I also wish that I had NOT bit that teacher in third grade. That still haunts me.

Augh! I am buried beneath so many other entries!

One thing I wish I had done was get help for my depression much sooner. I realized something was wrong, but I kept putting off the help I needed for such a long time that it ruined many aspects of my life as well as the relationships in it. If I had done something about it sooner, I might also have spared myself a lot of pain as well.

Part of why I love this web site so very much is because I read about your own struggles with depression, and I felt a sense of deep empathy with the struggles you went through. The humor as well has helped me through a lot of hard times. I have also cried for you out of sheer understanding of that sort of pain you suffered through.

Six years ago you started on a path that would change your life, and it's also changed mine.

Long time reader, first time commenter (I don't know why it took me so long).

I would never have signed up for the "enriched" program my parents put me in when I was ten. It alienated me from my peers and made life socially awkward until I left town for university.

I would have saved 60K and not gone to law school, pursued my writing interests, and marry rich.

haha - I wouldn't have majored in theatre in college either.

I wish i'd taken more time to decide what i wanted to study. I knew for sure at the time that it wasn't going to be one of the standard subjects covered in high school, but i didn't have a clue what options were available.

i regret that I didn't take my Dad's old Yashica when he offered it and major in photography.

I wish I would have worked out alot more when I was pregnant. I am quite the fatass now, and it seems the weight is harder to get off than when I was 19......although recreational cocaine use may have had something to do with it!

Oh yeah and Happy 6th Birfday dooce.com !

Yes, I wish I never started smoking.

Happy birthday.

I wish I wouldn't have wasted 5 years on my high school boyfriend during college. I missed out on a lot of fun because I tied myself to that cancerous relationship.

I also regret that I was mean to the mentally disabled boy in my neighborhood as a child. It is at the top of my list of regrets. He did not deserve what I did to him and I will forever be ashamed that I had evil in my heart at such a young age.

Thanks for the 6 years dooce.

I wish I would have listened to more of my pepere's stories. I miss him.

I wish I would have relaxed (partied) a bit more in college. I didn't need to take on that kind of responsibility.

of course,

i would have said no to *BOTH* of the assholes i married, thank god for divorce.

I would not have married at 19, gone to the Salt Lake Temple at 20, and had babies at 21.

I wouldn't have worried so much what my parents were going to think.

Happy Anniversary!

Woah. I don't know how much I would change, because, yeah, didn't those mistakes/choices/whatever make me who I am. Problem is? I don't really like WHO I AM!

A big regret: I wouldn't have been so irresponsible with money for so long when we were first married, because ten years later, and we're still digging out.

The biggest thing I would change, if possible, would be my husband's back injury which has pretty much ruined our lives for the past two plus years. Our lives went to hell the second he got hurt, and there isn't much end in sight.

Happy Blogoversary, Dooce. Love your site, here's to many many more.

No regrets, although there are few things I really wish I had done differently earlier in my life. Specifically, not taking myself so g-d seriously, not racking up so much credit card debt, and not sleeping around so much in high school (that part was fun, but not so easy on the reputation).

I wish I had worked a bit harder in college and not partied quite so hard some of the time. Though, I am very thankful that I came out of it pretty much unscathed. And I regret not pushing to do study abroad for a semester, even if I would have had a bit more debt.

Also, I regret not doing more of the activities in HS that I kind of laughed at at the time (sports, clubs, etc). Now that I look back on it, they seem fun, and I'm sad I missed out. Oh well! Guess I can pass that on to my kids one day!

And of course; I regret being so bad with money in my college years and the few right after college, instead of actually saving some of it. Blah.

-Wish I threw away my TV 10 years ago. Imagine the quality time I could have spent in far more interesting places or with now dead (and still living) friends and family if I didn't HAVE to watch Doogie Howser MD (what a life changer that show was)?
-Wish I had been less selfish in the past and started donating/giving back more earlier in my life.
-wish I was a few inches taller, had a better backhand, and a better second serve

I wish I would've taken a photography class. Otherwise my mistakes have made me who I am, and I don't really know what I would be like without them. But I still wish I would've started on a photography path, because now I feel like it's too hard to start it now seriously. But I still may.

I regret not starting a blog sooner. I feel more alive when writing and creating and I let my fear of not being a good enough (oh, as say a very well known blogger) writer, designer, daughter, you name it keep me from even trying sometimes. I finally got over myself and even though it might just be brain farting, at least I'm trying. Hopfully without sounding like an ass-kisser, I'd like to offer you 1. a heartfelt happy sixth birthday and 2. a thank you for inspiring me with your honest and hilarious writing. Salud!

Along the lines of wearing more sunscreen, but not really: I wish I didn't know I had cancer (unlike melanoma, this particular Non-Hodgkins Lymphona is very slow growing)

Yes doctor, please disregard those lumps.

I wish I didn't think about it, even occasionally. And I most certainly wish my health care provider didn't think about it _entirely_too_much_.

I feel trapped, drained, and smothered by insurance — and there's nothing I can do about it, nothing but wish that I didn't know.

If I could go back and change anything, I would be stronger. Strong enough to get up from that table with the stirrups, where I joined the doctor in becoming a murderer, when I let him suck my 11 week old baby out of my body. Tearing it apart until it's heart stopped beating. I would have told my father who drove me there, and my mother who decided it was best, that the man I loved and I would be fine without them. That it didn't matter if they stopped paying for college, kicked me out of the house, and took away my car. That 17 years of marriage later, and three beautiful children later, we would be fine. That our love was real. I would have been strong enough to get up off that table, out of that room. Instead I just stayed there while it happened, telling my baby how sorry I was and how much I loved him or her. Sometimes I'm sure I don't deserve the three children I have, because I didn't protect my first baby. Sometimes I hate myself for what I did. Sometimes I hate my parents. I just wish so much I could undo it all.

I would have pressed charges.

I wish I had done a graceful exit from university, rather than the catastrophic crash-and-burn that led to ten years of working a series of mind-numbing, soul-sucking retail jobs because I wasn't qualified for anything else.

And, I wish I'd ordered those X-ray glasses. Because, you never know.

Perhaps more therapy starting at a younger age?

First, happy anniversary! Six years is awesome.
And second, my current big regret? Having heard my potential employer smarmily smarm at me re: my starting wage, "It's a buyer's market. You'll start at [tiny amount of money] per hour." and I STILL TOOK THE JOB. Which I still have. Ugh.
I'm a wuss.

Oy, I know I'm not supposed to regret things...live and learn, and such, but having said that, I would have done the following things:

1. Dumped the loser I was dating in grad school for the guy I was in love with (but couldn't admit it)
2. Had more fun in college. Phi Beta Kappa, with university and college honors, these are things that nobody cares about.
3. Make that had more fun in general. I still have trouble letting go of this uber motivated ultra serious persona.

Happy Birthday, Dooce!
Thanks for helping me in my process of ditching the aforementioned ultra serious persona

If I had known that the conversation I had on my birthday would be the last I would ever had with my father, I don't think I ever would ever have let that phone call finish.

Thank you Dooce and Blurb for sharing your lives with us.

I wish I had managed money better when I first started making it.

Do one thing different?

I would like to have found a different way to deal with my stress and pain than that whole not eating thing I did. I should have learned to play the drums instead.

I regret being a "quitter" when I was younger. I remember quitting gymnastics right before a meet because I was nervous, quitting ski lessons after the first one because I didn't know anyone else in the club, quitting JV Soccer because I was lazy, and quitting Varsity Cheerleading because I didn't like the girls on the squad. And because I was lazy. None of those things have hinderded who I am today, and I had been cheering for 3 years already so I really was ready to quit that one; but everything else I think would have provided some really rich experiences that might have given me more confidence as a kid.

Since then, not only would I not change a thing about my life, I would do everything exactly the same. College, post-college, post-post college, etc. Either I make very intelligent decisions now or am just extremely lucky. :)

Happy 6th!

more sit ups.
more butterscotch b4 the sit ups mattered.
and yeah, i would have kissed more boys b4 i learned they were poisonous!
oh & actually studied in college instead of concentrating on just being away from my parents.

i've made up 4 most of them now, i just wish i didnt have 2.

I can't believe I've wasted 7 years of my life sitting behind a desk and selling telecom. I have a great job and bosses, it's just not the one for me. I can almost hear the clocking ticking away at my life.

It's going to be ok though, after I get married and we stash some cash I get to explore some options.

I regret telling my ex husband that I was pregnant. I should have lied to him after I got the results and then broken up with him a few weeks later (we weren't married when I got pregnant....gasp!!!!).

I regret not reading the books I was assigned in college. I passed my classes okay, mostly through inhuman feats of B.S., but often I was way too busy with the student theater troupe and my dramatic personal life to do all my work. Now, I feel like I could have learned more. I don't think it would relaly have changed who I am now in any way, but all knowledge is worth having. Also, I regret taking Italian and not German, but then, how was I to know I'd end up with In-Laws from Deutschland.

Thanks Dooce for writing every day. Cheers!

I wish that in high school, when i was running 40 miles a week for track practice and cross-country, I had appreciated a) the awesome shape i was in and b) the sexy body I had. Instead I was a self-conscious adolescent who thought i was overweight at 117 pounds. nuts.

I wish that I would've said no to the thousands of bags of chips, hundreds of candy bars, and uncounted trips to the buffet. I wish I would've learned about self-control before it ruined my health and self-esteem. But, I won't regret becoming a stronger person, facing the ridicule of society because I don't fit the mold of what is beautiful. I know who I am because of what I've been through. And, I know what true beauty is due to my trials and tribulations.

Also, I still don't like the girls who were mean and vicious to me in middle school. I don't owe them forgiveness. I probably owe them a thank you. If it wasn't for them, I may not have had the drive to become as successful as I am.

I wish I had calmly resisted the urge to sleep with my creative writing professor when I was in college.

Woops.

I try not to dwell, because otherwise I'd probably cave in beneath the weight of all my previous bad choices -- but I guess the thing I most regret is not finishing college the first time around. Then again, I believe we're all the sum of our decisions, and had I not made the choice to leave school all those years ago, I might not have wound up on the path that lead me to the man I've loved for four years now. So, yeah.

I wrote a friend of mine an email describing things about my Mom that gotten on my nerves. Instead of sending the email to my friend, I accidentally sent it to my Mom. As soon as I hit "send", my stomach dropped because I had realized what had happened.

My Mom immediately replied to me and said, "I think you meant this for someone else." I felt horrible and have for 4 years. I don't lose sleep over it or anything but I feel horrible that my Mom had to see those things. Venting about parents is a normal thing. Parents hearing the nitty gritty details really stinks. I love my Mom and am really sorry about that.

I would have applied to a college other than BYU.

Also, taken a better advantage of my High School years, and never quit football.

I regret having the name "Gunther" tatoo'd on my lower back one drunken night in Germany a few years back... my husband's name is Carl.

I wish I hadn't had so many credit cards in college, and I wish I hadn't thought all those credit cards meant I could go on weekly shopping sprees to buy stuff I totally didn't need, but thought I couldn't live without (i.e. more clothes than fit in my closet).

The idea of having my foot in anyone's mouth but my own sounds like a refreshing change. But every path has it's slippery spots so there is no sense in thinking everything would be better if only you were walking someplace different.

If I could go back and do anything differently, I would have put the stupid ass 6 feet under and kept my god damn ring and the house.

And in case you haven't noticed or been told. I think you look exactly like Amber Valletta who played Allegra Cole in Hitch...don't you agree?

I recently did something that I ferverently regret.

My little sister has battled her demons for decades in the form of addictions and hospitalizations for depression and eating disorders and I am thrilled to say she's winning her fight. It has brought us closer together and she's a very good human being as a result.

Last month our grandmother was killed in an accident. While Grandma was an old woman, she was strong and healthy, so her passing was shocking and tragic. During the days-long affair of putting her to rest, a good portion of the family stayed together in a hotel. We ate several meals together en mass and did our share of drinking.

The second night there, there were about 20 of us altogether and eight of us were squished into a booth. My little sister and I sat right next to each other, shoulder-to-shoulder. The two of us had also traveled to another part of the country a week earlier when we thought Grandma was going to make it and we wanted to be there in the hospital with her to spell our mother and father and our other sister from their 24 hour care. But instead Grandma died and so little sis and I grieved together on the plane trip there and back and in between as we visited Grandma's best friend in the rehab hospital who did survive the accident, but might not completely recover.

My little sister whispered to me to order a seabreeze, which I did. I always drink wine so this did draw a comment from my partner, but was otherwise unnoticed. A while later sis ordered cranberry juice and with some creative hand maneuvering we switched glasses.

We're both adults, mothers even, but in the moment I just so wanted to give her something...even something bad. To be fair, alcohol has never been her drug of choice, but that doesn't really matter all that much.

And she hasn't spiralled out of control as a result and I don't think she's in jeopardy of doing so. In fact, she told me that she had been drinking responsibly prior to that day in recent months.

But I regret that I did that. I regret that I did that to her. She should be able to rely on my 100%, especially in the times when she cannot rely on herself.

I'm sorry Katie.

Thanks for writing about birthdays on my birthday!

I would....nope. I might go back and delete those entries about my coworkers, but...I might still be a little too stupid to do that, either.

Happy Birthday, Dooce! I hope it's a happy one for you, Heather. Cheers to no regrets!
Love,
amid

Congrats on the 'versaries, such as they are. I don't know what I would have asked/offered if given the opportunity, but I hope you're not offended that I have zero interest in sucking your toes.

Regrets? I've had a few. The only thing I'm willing to share with the thousands of blog readers you have is this: I wish we hadn't left NYC and moved to Santa Fe. I wish I could go back and learn what I now know so that we wouldn't have made that choice.

I wish I had the guts to find a way to do the type of work I love: writing and teaching. The path I've chosen with three young kids requires that I work as a free agent, willing to work for the highest bidder for my services. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy my job. I happen to work for a company that provides a very good work/life balance. But I'd like to do something that makes the the city, the neighborhood I live in a little better. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it out.

Boy, I don't feel as alone when I read these comments. Dooce, thank you for opening up the dialogue! I liked the comment someone gave about the past being a prologue, and I'm going to try and keep that in mind from now on. That said, a few regrets come to mind:

I wish I would have picked a college major for me, not for my boyfriend.

I wish I had been more responsible with money, sex, and the feelings of others.

I wish I could control my mouth, think first and then say something nice or nothing at all.

I wish I would have tried living up to my full potential years ago, rather than in my thirties.

I wish I would have bought a smaller house in a better neighborhood, rather than the opposite.

I regret having regrets! Here's to today!!

Happy Anniversary, Heather. Thank you for entertaining and enlightening all of us on the World Wide Web.

I wish I had gone into therapy earlier. I spent years deeply crippled with undiagnosed depression and post traumatic stress disorder. I paid a high price for ignoring wiser heads than mine. If I had been willing to undergo the rigorous self-examination that is formal psychotherapy, I would have had a happier, more fulfilling and productive life in my 20s and 30s. And, I would have avoided destructive relationships and late night booty calls with handsome but sullen and non-communicative guys.

Thanks for giving us this forum, and so much of your heart.

Always your fan and friend,
Grace

Starting a blog that is. And proofreading. Proofreading before posting would be nice. *SHEESH*

Oh, one more thing: happy birthday!

When, in grade seven, I left my scholarship at a prestigious private school for girls, the principal told me it would be the worst mistake I ever made in my life. I'm pleased to report that I've made much worse mistakes since then.

i regret trying to kill myself. i still, 2 yrs later am not better, and feel so much guilt about what i put my parents through. i am sorry. trying hard to get over it, but have not been that successful.

I wish I would've saved my money better as a college student.

I also regret that for too long, I played the role of peacemaker and did so many things that made me unhappy for so long just because I couldn't bear hurting anyone else's feelings.

Wow, I am a pretty content person. There are things that I would do different and certain times where I was really glad that I took a huuuuuge chance. Most of the time it led to lots of excitement and friends, sometimes heartache.
I do regret choosing to leave my boyfriend who loved me with everything he had, just because I got an opportunity to model internationally. I also regret not telling my (ex) best friend how much of a two-faced bitch she was for trying to date him while I was away.(I tried to talk with her calmly and forgive her) I am so beyond thankful that my boyfriend and I worked things out, but I still want to smack that chick every time I see her.
I would have gone away to college if I could do it all over again...I always wanted to, but didn't want to take out any loans...at least I won't regret being a debt free college grad!
I would have ABSOLUTELY told my bipolar, anorexic, PTS suffering roommate to SHUV the contract when she told me about all her disorders AFTER I had signed the lease. Not that I don't have sympathy for her or wouldn't have been there for her, but it would have saved me a lot of headaches and a lot of money to not have to live with her!

I regret that I view myself so seriously. I feel it's okay for other people to feel like running away, or freaking out, but I don't allow myself that freedom. I'm jealous of the freedom you had to call your husband at work just to hang up on him. I would agonize for days if I ever did that to someone. I wish I let myself have the freedom to be not okay.

I regret that we're paying so much for therapy, and I'm not really using her. I don't talk about my feelings in therapy much, I usually turn to friends instead.

I regret not quitting therapy, despite it not doing anything for me.

I regret abusing the cats when I was a kid.

I regret some stupid sex stuff I did in my 20's just "to experiment". I get embarrassed to think of it these days.

I regret not going on Accutane sooner than I finally did.

(Happy Blogging Birthday!)

I probably would have partied recklessly instead of studying, but then I wouldn't have all this random knowledge about Vice-Presidents!

I would have worn a lot more slutty clothing, but this post-partum body made me realize why they say hindsight is 20/20.

I wish I'd never started smoking.

p.s. ice bats RULE!

I would have lost 20 lbs. in 8th grade before it ballooned into 120.

I would have had sex in high school. I "saved" myself until college, and when I found out what I had been missing out on, I was pissed.

I would have lost my virginity sober.

I would have appreciated my killer body when I had it, instead of obsessing about losing just five more pounds.

I wouldn't have settled so much. So many times, I could have done better.

I would have smoked more pot.

I would have made smarter choices with money when I was in my 20's and I would have skipped what I call the GGSM (Great Graduate School Mistake) where I went back to school to get a Master's Degree in teaching because I was bored and then never taught a day in my life. I don't regret the education just the debt.

Chuck, your website, your honesty your family...thank you for sharing it all.

I regret not having children when I was younger. I am 46 and my daughter is only 4. I also would have had more children if I had been younger but I consider myself lucky to have her at all.

I wish I'd learned earlier to listen to that little nagging voice in my brain before it had to become a shouting voice in my brain, accompanied by anxiety attacks, loss of sleep and appetite, and a big ol' shitty mess in my life.

Life in my 30's, listening to that voice, has gone much more smoothly. But maybe I wouldn't trust my own voice so much now if I hadn't ignored it all those times and faced the consequences.

I caused a lot of people, including myself, unnecessary pain all through my own chemically imbalanced teens and twenties, jayfid, so you're not alone in that. We'll always wonder what we would have been like--but on the other hand, would we be as grateful for the small normalcies in our lives? I remember the spring I was recovering from cancer treatment nine years ago as the most beautiful, flower- and sunlight-filled spring I've ever seen. Every time a bird sang, I wanted to cry from joy at the beauty, and that I was there to see it.

But the one thing I would change? I never in a million years would have caused my part in the pain my husband is feeling right now, in a different house 90 miles away from me for what will hopefully not be forever. Anthony, if through some freak of nature you find your way to these comments, I'm sorry. A thousand times, I'm sorry. That's the one thing I would change. Marrying you is something I would do over and over again, every morning, given the chance.

First, thank you for writing so eloquently about your life. It makes me laugh, cry, and reflect on my own life every day.

Just one thing...

I would tell my father I'm not mad at him for leaving now that I understand why and that I love him.

Only one thing stands out right now. The guy I was dating before I met my husband. I can honestly say that if he hadn't of happened my life would be exactly the same. There are plenty of things I wish I hadn't done of course but to use the word 'regret' would allow me to dwell on those moments I cannot change.

Once upon a long time ago, I hurt my (now) husband (then boyfriend) terribly. I wish I hadn't. And it was primarily due to my chemically imbalanced brain SCREAMING at me to get some assistance. The upside is that once I did get the help I needed, this amazing man was still willing to stand by my side. A true colors moment, if you will.

Also? I would have worked MUCH harder at getting my old Wall Stret boss fired for calling me "fuckable". Which, by the way, I totally am, but hearing it from him was something I NEVER needed to hear. Ever. EVER.

starting to smoke
the abortion
crying like a fucking fool when i met robert smith.

I don't regret much but the two things I do regret really bug me.

I regret that I dropped out of college over a stupid boy who dumped me. Now he's married and fat and whenever I see him I wonder why I left college over him.

I also regret that my husband (Mr. Wonderful) and I didn't buy a house after we were first married. We had a ton of cash and blew it all on... I can't even remember what we spent it on. I think all couples should take a class on financial planning before they get married.

But other than that I am happy with all the other mistakes I made because they have led me to this spot and this spot is heavenly.

Happy Birthday Dooce! I am totally inspired by your honesty every day. Keep up the good work.

245 comments so far. Holy crap. I don't get that many individual readers in a years time. I SUCK!

Okay, here's something cool, and why the internet is so amazing. Reviewing most of the comments about regrets, it seems that all the things I regret are already covered by everyone else! I guess that means I'm human (praise be). They are:
1. Regret that I didn't learn to love myself sooner. At forty, mother of 3, I now know that it starts with myself, if I'd have learned that sooner, I could've avoided so much trouble, like the pink hair and stuff.
2. Regret fear. Like the fear that kept me from moving to Paris when I was 20, because my mother told me I FOR SURE would get raped, because that's what they do there.
3. Regret not sleeping around more in college. I mean, HELL, I was always looking for that "relationship". And hey, now that I found it? I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE ELSE EVER AGAIN. It's like having to eat at the same restaurant every meal for the rest of your life. No matter how GREAT the food is, and how much you love it there, you kinda miss being able to order take out.
4. Regret not using sunscreen every day. Deep wrinkles around the lips, and ugly freckels on the decolletage, not to mention the scary spectre of your (young) life being cut short by skin cancer. 'nuf said.
Thanks Dooce, for a great website, only wish I had found it sooner. I love "catching up" with you on a regular basis.

Well...let's see. How 'bout I wish I'd spelled 'bona fide' correctly in the first published article I ever wrote. I assumed the editing staff would make any corrections necessary. Nope. Front page of the business section, lead sentence, bona fide spelled 'bonified'.
I thought my journalistic career over before it even began. Happy 6th B-day. Just discovered your site but love it already!

I wish we had started trying to have kids when we lived in Illinois, where fertility is required to be covered by insurance, rather than waiting until we were in Oregon, where it's not.

I wish we hadn't bought that stupid condo in Chicago, and instead banked all that money so we could try to have kids, whether it's by adoption or fertility treatments.

I wish I hadn't told my mother about my pregnancy, so that when it ended, I didn't have to comfort her.

I wish.

I wish I'd have taken the interview for that job at the college library instead of just accepting a full-time position.

I'd be five years ahead of where I am now.

I wish I hadn't lost the love of my life. I broke off an engagment and totally regret it....will regret it for the rest of my life...

writing a blog can pay your mortgage? whoa that's cool beans i tell ya!

How do I decide between a boyfriend I love who can't decide if he wants kids versus a child I think I want? I fear that I will soon be too old to have children and that "one of these days" will turn into "it's too late." I fear having to choose one or the other and making a decision I'll regret. How do I decide between the present and the future when the future is still unknown?

The only thing I regret is that I didn't write it all down.

I would not have spent almost $3000 on a wedding dress when it was almost all the money I had.

I would not have listened to all the nurses who told me I couldn't hold my daughter when she was born. I would have remembered she was MY daughter, and walked to the damn nursery to get her myself.

And, I would not have gotten a dog when I first got married- I would have waited until my family was more settled and could take better care of her.

Definitely, yes! Albeit I was young, but I wish I never would have listened to, believed, or agreed with the insults that were made about my appearance. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be dealing with obesity in my 40's. I look at pictures of myself when I a young girl and a young woman, and I think, "I wasn't physically repulsive. I was actually quite cute." I don't know what everyone's problem was. I wish I would have had been strong enough to believe my own truths rather than someone else's truth.

Eat better. Less chocolate. More greens.

Erm. Well, really, I regret that I never invented chocolate greens. Would that not have been a tremendous boon to society? I could have single-handedly ended childhood obesity, eradicated over-the-top cholesterol and high blood pressure and heart disease, and had a nice nosh, all in one fell swoop.

And, you know, I am half serious about this. Well, only the top half. Who cares what the bottom half thinks?

First, I would like to wish you a happy birthday. I came across this blog about a year ago through ThisFish who I learned about from my friend Michelle (youcantmakeitup.org). I have enjoyed reading your posts ever since. I think you have a great sense of humor and come across as a woman others can relate to through your writing.

I hope you continue to share your stories and experiences as a wife, mother, and human being. Kudos!

Fewer penises, and better quality sex.

I regret all the stupid crap I did in 1984, not trying harder in high school, and not going to college when I had the chance.

Other than that I just really, really, really regret not selling that kidney so I could go see Radiohead on their last tour.

Happy 6th, Dooce! You have no idea how much I love your website; I look forward to reading it every day.

The neurologist said it was just one of those things. Maybe it would go away by itself, but we'd never know what caused it. Nothing to worry about.

I wish I had told him to keep looking. Maybe we would have caught the cancer in time.

I regret not facing my rape earlier than I did. Even though the struggle made me who I am now, it would have been effing awesome if I could have let my friends and family help me through that.

Thanks for being so honest, and Happy Six Years, dooce!

Ah, regrets. I've been pondering that subject lately, a LOT.

I wish I'd never touched tobacco in the first place. It will always be a huge temptation.

I wish I'd taken better care of my teeth. Now the dentist's chair is a nightmare for me.

I wish I'd taken piano lessons when I was a toddler and learning was a breeze.

I wish I'd gone to college right after high school and started investing money when I was in my early 20s.

I wish I'd had sex with a LOT MORE people than I did when I was young and gravity hadn't treated me like a bitch.

I wish I hadn't had sex with that one person when I was 15. Or anything else to do with that one person.

Wow, I find I could go on with this list for quite a while. I believe I'll stop there and wish your blog a very happy birthday. Let the tequila flow!

Happy Dooceday! Yeeooow!

I too was Dooced. It was 2004 and I didn't know there was a term for it until 2005. I have been a regular reader ever since.

Last summer I was walking through Barnes ans Noble and saw the man who was responsible for my firing on a magazine cover. He was on the cover of an 'effing magazine! Then as I was staring at him on the shelf I realized (finally!) that if he was powerful enough to be on a magazine cover, he must have a mountain of failures and mistakes built up over his career.

Thanks for sharing Heather.

I don't know if "regret" is a word that I would use to describe what it is I feel.
I think "I wish I would have" is a better way to say that "I wish I would have taken College more seriously." I wish I would have accomplished more academically than I have...that is a huge "wish I would have" in my life.

My biggest regret is that I spent years and years of my life suffering from depression without seeking treatment. I thought I was being so strong, but I was only foolish and stubborn. I wasted the better part of 15 years in a fog of self-recrimination and death wishes. The only thing that brought me out was my son. I realized that if he ever felt that way, I would want him to reach for help. And I had to provide the example.

Heather, thanks for writing Dooce!

I regret all those days that I decided to sleep in and watch daytime talk shows instead of going to class my first year of college. It's hell getting those F's off the transcript and instead of still being in school I might actually have a good job where I could make some real money.
I also regret not listening to my mother when she told me not to get a bunch of credit cards.

I regret not insisting on continuing college once I got married. It's been two years now, and I haven't set a foot in a university. And now I don't know what to do with myself.

I should regret the eating disorder I developed in high school. But there's a part of me that doesn't. I'm not sure why.

C'est la vie!

Major: communications. Minor: journalism. Boy, was that dumb. Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket. It worked out fine and all, except that for the longest time I didn't know anything about anything that wasn't journalism. More than 20 years later, that may still be true.

No other real regrets, mostly because even my major screwups helped me down the path toward my life with The World's Greatest Wife and more happiness than I will ever deserve.

Happy blogiversary, Heather.

I, too, believe in the value of your mistakes - how they shape your person. Everything happens for a reason.

But one that stands out (today): I wish I hadn't walked all over the "right guys" and wish I hadn't let the "wrong guys" walk all over me.