I can't believe that some people think you're a heartless witch.

is the kid mormon or a non-mormon recruit? i'm guessing byu recruits out of the religion for sports teams and that's asking a lot from a kid to understand that aspect. but yes, i agree, i hope he has support from friends and family to get through this.

Lovely. Well said.

I'm not saying the guy doesn't deserve some consideration, but getting one's girlfriend pregnant is the consequence of a choice. Or more likely, a set of choices. Choices that I wouldn't say were made by "just a kid" -- and I'm sure they don't consider themselves as such either, when they are making those decisions.

So I don't really consider him a victim... (Not to mention, he may be able to transfer to another good basketball school and continue his career there.)

To be clear: I am glad you're pointing out that he deserves to be treated as a human being instead of a piece of sports equipment or religious agenda -- truly, I am! This is surely a difficult time for him, and I feel bad about that.

I just think, as a human being, he's not completely blameless either, and it would be doing him a disservice to say, "Oh, you're just a kid. Let the adults handle this and make it all better."

(Which is NOT necessarily what you're saying! It's just a slippery slope, you know?)

It really sucks that the Honor Code Office can pull you off your team and humiliate you before they even investigate, which is obviously the case since he's still in school. I heard Coach Rose was devastated and tried to fight the swift action of the Honor Code Office. Anyone who has been a BYU student (I worked for the Office of Student Life) knows they have way too much power.

Thank you for saying it that way.
It's what we would all want for our mormon relatives that try to live up to such an often unrealistic standard.

And bless his heart. Not to mention there's a girlfriend in the mix whose life is forever changed as well. Then there's that whole baby thing. What a way to get started in life.

Davies is not a kid -- he's an adult. He may be a young adult, but he knew the extreme rules in place for BYU students when he signed up to attend the school. Now he must live with the consequences.

I agree, everyone should be held to the same standard!

Heather, I can finally agree with you on something about current events!

I'm struck by some of the comments that say that no one has cared about what the kid and his girlfriend are going through. That is one of the first things I thought of. Of course the media misses out on the whole compassion thing. Unfortunately, this is an issue that any LDS person must go through. We agree to live by certain rules and, inevitably, we WILL break them. And we will have to live with the consequences. But we shouldn't judge each other. I just feel bad for everyone involved. It really does just suck, that's the only way to describe it. Everyone did what they needed to do in this situation, as unhappy as it is.

You are so right in everything that you said. And to everyone who said, he isn't a kid, he deserves what he gets:

Yes, he made an adult decision, and yes he was aware of the potential consequences of that decision and will have to deal with those - there will be no one to come fix it for him, there are 3 lives involved now, at a minimum. But he is also still a kid. Growing up is a process, and just because you turn 18 doesn't mean you suddenly know everything and are held to the same standard as someone who is 25, 30, 35, 40, etc. He made an imperfect choice, which most 20 year olds, and most people for that matter, do, and is now dealing with the consequences. Unfortunately for him, he is dealing with them while under national media attention - so as Heather said, I hope he has someone in his life to reassure him that at the very least, the attention and scrutiny will pass, and he can focus on living his life and dealing with the consequences of his actions.

I attended a private southern baptist school that had a strict honors code (dress code, curfew, no drinking, sexuality.) I signed up for it and they helped me out greatly with school so I was glad to obey the rules while they paid for me to attend.

Something I always found very sad was when a female freshman would inevitably get pregnant and rather than do the Christian thing and do what we could to help her out, she was always sat down and in one way or another told she was expected to withdraw and get out of the dorms. Gay students were also not allowed to be openly gay or they were forced into counseling or forced to withdraw.

But again, like you said...you sign up for it. There are tons of schools and private schools don't shy away from the rules that come with being a student.

Heather, I think you should write to the guy and tell him what you said here. Who knows, you might be the one person who could talk to him, as a former mormon... someone who understands both sides. I feel for him too. I grew up in a very oppressive Christian environment, and I got pregnant at 19. Oh the horror! Though I'm still a Christian, I'm no longer part of the judgmental witch-hunt people. My heart goes out to those who are hurt by them.

And btw, my son is now 23 and wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing. :)

:-) This was wonderfully put.

Very well said! Hopefully the couple can find mentors to help them through this time.