I'm so sorry for your loss, Heather.

I am really sorry about your Granny. And I say good for you, for following your girls' cues and finding a routine that works for the family.

Holy crimeny, Heather. A big hug to you. I'm teary.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Heather.

Lost my mother in 2004 and had my first child in 2008. Finn's sleep patterns were like a blend of Leta and Marlo, both colicky and a child who told me in no uncertain terms at 4 months that enough was enough and she wanted me to put her the fuck down in her own bed. At 6 months she wanted her own room. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish that my mother was here to share in my daughter's life. My heart goes out to your family.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Marlo does sound like the perfect baby and you are right you are so dang lucky!

So sorry to read about your Granny. I admire your guts for keeping it together and posting on such a controversial (but why should it be controversial darn it?) topic at such a time. Been reading this blog for a while and love the way you write.

Claire, soon to be mother of 3

I've never commented in all the years I've been coming here, but I want you to know my thoughts are with you. Much love from Texas...

I'm sorry about your granny...really. We all have to go through it, and it is never easy and always stings. SO glad she got to meet your sweet Marlo though :)

Oh, Heather. So, so, sorry about your granny, who looks like she was a really wonderful lady. Hugs to you.

I am really enjoying your posts that are more sentimental, there I am sorry, I said it. I also enjoy that you crack some good humor and don't get to gooey on us.

Also, I just assumed every sane parent had to let kids cry it out. So I guess, once I have my baby, and my heart breaks while he or she cries it out I will also have a good laugh knowing I am going to join you and Gotti in a special part of hell.

Your family is in our thoughts.

My grandfather died in June and I know my grandmother is not far behind...it makes me so sad to realize my kids (future tense as I hear you have to have some sort of relationship to produce them) will never know either of them. They are incredible people, and I totally feel for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss Heather. You really captured your Granny Boone's spirit in that photo.

I am so sorry for the loss of your Granny.

I also subscribe to the "whatever works" philosophy for kids and their sleep habits...I have not used the same technique for any of my three children. Their personalities, and the amount I could handle at the time for each of them has been totally different.

Good for you.

Oh, such a sweet photo of Granny Boone! May she rest in peace.

Did Leta really ask about being left to cry (how did she remember??)? I ask because I wonder how I would explain that to my own daughter, whom we let cry at 6 months (pure agony!) On that note, how do you explain to her how "sad" you felt after she was born? This is something I've been thinking a lot about lately, as my mother always used to tell me that she never, ever felt anything but love towards us kids and was always glad to have had us, but my experience now is that a lot of mothers who truly love their children deal with intrusive, horrible thoughts as a result of post-partum depression. So how do they answer the question, "Did you ever wish you hadn't had me?"

Your grandmother looks like she was a beautiful woman, and I love the look on her face in the photo as she holds the baby.

As for letting babies cry themselves to sleep, when my kids were little back in the 70s and 80s we were advised by the pediatrician to do just that. Neither my son or daughter grew up to be permanently scarred by it. And all this having babies in your bed kind of scares me, I wouldn't be able to sleep at all in fear of squishing them or something.

I'm very sorry for your loss, Heather. My prayers are with you and your family =(

Oh my....I was laughing along with you..and then...boom....I lost my mom this summer and it is a horrible feeling.....take it one second at a time and smile at your children....ALOT...I don't think my children saw me craw so much until the loss of my mother.....

I loved what you said about "whatever works for your family." You and I would disagree on so much if we ever met in real life, but I love the way you handle parenting. It's an inspiration to me to be a little more laid back than I am. Thanks!

Heather, my thoughts are with you and your family. You can tell by your posts how well-loved Granny Boone was, which is all anybody can ask for. Lots of hugs!

Grandmas are the absolute best. There's something so special and wonderful and sweet about them (ok, most of them) that holds a special place their granddaughters' hearts. I'm so sorry for your loss.

BTW, totally agree with you about the "cry it out" thing. Of course, there are boundaries and limits and our son isn't crying for too long by himself, but it's definitely helped him sleep through the night. No more crying from Jack = no more crying from me.

What a beautiful woman your Granny Boone was. She reminds me of my grandmother - a woman full of cookies and love and hugs. I imagine yours was, too. Thank you for reminding us that even in the most difficult, sorrow-filled moments that families are a blessing. A wonderful, bountiful blessing.

"Where The Crazy Comes From" was my favorite picture you've ever posted. Granny Boone was the perfect picture of a Grandma. Her hair, the seafoam green coat, the pin on her lapel and her smile...So sorry.

Aw, thinking of you and your family, Heather.

(And I'm so with you on the cry it out mentality.)

Ahhhh....the push and pull- I wish it didn't mean that you had to lose your grandmother. I'm terribly sorry.

This was a beautiful post. I'm so sorry for your loss, Heather. *hugs*

I am so sorry Heather about your Granny Boone. I am teary-eyed over here because 1) you are an amazing writer and you always make me cry and 2) I am sad that you must be so sad. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

So sorry about your Granny, Heather. And you're right, Marlo does look like her.

You are an awesome mom. I like to think of what you are doing as intuitive parenting.

Peace to you and yours during this sad, sad time.

So sorry about your granny.

I'm sorry for your loss, Heather.

This was a great beautiful post. I'm so sorry about your Grandmother. And you are right, Marlo does have her smile. What a wonderful bit of luck.

And thanks for the CYO video. I watched it like twice as we are going through it right now. Oof!

So sorry for your loss.

Good-bye Granny. xox

So nice that she knew your children before she passed. She was lucky to be a great-grandmother.

Hugs to you.

I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I lost my grandma this past Valentine's Day while I was out of the country. And even though she was old, and we knew it would happen one day - it was and still is very hard. I miss her everyday. It's an enormous loss. I am thinking of you and your family. xoxo

I'm glad you found a sleep system that works for your family. I am a first time Mom with a 4 1/2 month old, and I appreciate hearing about others experiences. It's nice to know there are options for dealing and how they worked (or not...) for others.

My condolences to you and your family on the loss of your Granny Boone. I live just a few short miles from Daniel Boone's fort in KY and so get extra enjoyment when you share stories of the Boone relatives. (Just realized that sounds weird and kind of creepy -- I should clarify that it provides a level of context to your stories that I might not otherwise have...)Anyway, I'm truly sorry for your loss and hope that you find peace and comfort during this challenging time.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my grandmother this year too - it's heartbreaking to lose these special people - omnipresent reminders of your childhood, happiness, and unconditional love. I hope you can find comfort in your family.

On the other topic, I am only 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby and when I told my sister the news within 10 minutes she asked me if I planned to let the baby cry it out.

I told her I didn't know, but that I would not be soliciting ANY advice on the subject, nor on breastfeeding, nor on returning to work!

I am so sorry for your loss Heather.

I'm sorry to hear about your Granny. Beautiful post.

Condolences and hugs from Montreal.

What a beautiful post and a beautiful picture. I have tears in my eyes. I'm so happy for your luck and so sorry for your loss.

Heather, I'm so sorry you lost your wonderful grandma.
All that talk about "well, she lived a good, long life" is rubbish when someone you hold dear is gone. There's never enough time to hold all the love you have to give.

The few bits you have shared with us about your grandmother have been wonderful. I'm glad Leta was old enough to remember her. Again, I'm so sorry for you and your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss -- even if you know it's coming, it's still hard. I've been fortunate not to lose too many loved ones (yet, I suppose, not to be morbid), but the thing that has struck me before has been just that -- "life goes on" doesn't really do justice to the weirdness of trying to wrap your brain around someone being *gone* and yet things don't all just grind to a halt, and the rest of us keep living, and the bizarre combination of betrayal and relief that comes with taking enjoyment out of something while something irreparably sad is happening at the same time....

Anyway, many, many condolences.

Throw some of that perfect lipstick on Marlo and you've got Granny Boone anytime you want her back. Wow, they really do look similar. You are in my thoughts.

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I'll be thinking of you and your family.

By the way, I think you can take comfort in knowing that no matter how mad God gets at you for not loving your baby, he's gonna get a lot madder at the people who waste their lives sending hate mail to someone they don't even know.

Well, maybe you won't take comfort in it, because you're a nice person, but I will.

I'm so sorry Heather! My great grandmother( who would have been 102 in Nov) died this morning too. So I will shed a tear for you too. Peace to your family. :)

much peace to you and your family during this time.

i'm sorry for your loss, too. its hard losing a grandparent.
also, you and jon are clearly wonderful parents. leta and marlo are proof of that.

First & foremost, I am sorry for the loss of your beloved Granny.

Secondly, whatever is working for your kids & sleeping is fine. Because it's working FOR YOU & YOUR KIDS. The rest of the Internet can suck it.

Heather, I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. She looked lovely.

What you said is very true. No two children are ever alike. Even siblings. You and Jon seem like very good people and you kids are beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing them with all of us.

And the haters can suck it!!! I love your monetizing the hate page. Might as well make money from the baseless anger. I just never realized how bad it is for bloggers. A real eye opener.

Sometimes I do not think that kids are the only ones who need to "cry it out." Sorry for the loss of your Granny.

The only people who know what works for a family is the family. Although you and I will apparently be in the same section of hell, I had to cry my son out at 7 weeks, or he would have never slept, I don't regret a moment of it. It was harsh and painful for me, but I have a child with excellent sleeping habits, even with all of the other things he deals with.

Congratulations to you for being able to look through the loss to see the big picture of the blessings that come with the balance we call life.

I have 3 step kids and letting them "cry it out" is a lot easier for me than for my husband. When I was in high school with an infant brother, my Mom would send me upstairs to put my brother down while she would either sit on the couch in silence and cry along with him, or put on the television and try, I stress "try," to pretend like it was all fine.

This was when he was just walking and talking, so maybe a year and a half. It was just for naps. He would go down at night fine all by himself, but we always got the feeling, as he was literally falling asleep while throwing his toys at us, that he just didn't want to miss out on anything.

So, at first we all pretended like it was time to "rest" and we would lay down on the couch, or my Dad would move from sitting behind his desk, to the reclining chair in his office. Even if I had friends over, they would lay down too. Well, obviously that didn't work because my bro was just like, "Wait, how come I have to go to my bedroom?" And he knew the answer, "Because as soon as you do, we all get up." So then, we transitioned to having everyone go to their bedrooms and shut the door, while someone would carry my bro off to his.

The crying was greatly reduced, then he would be put in his crib and play around with his stuffed animal or whatever for a little bit, then, OMG, then, he would be put in his crib and just snuggle up to sleep.

Ahhhhh...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your Granny Boone. May her spirit live on in little Marlo.

♥

There's a reason why have only one child, and that is SLEEP. My husband was a proponent of the cry-it-out method, and while I WANTED that to work, I would rather have paper cuts on my eyeballs than listen to my three-year-old shriek for two hours. Night after night, Annika's screaming would set my husband and I so on edge we'd end up screaming at each other. The evening usually concluded with Annika still awake and me curled up in a fetal position on our bed, longing for oblivion.

Eventually we saw a family therapist, who suggested a happy medium that WORKED! We put her to bed with lots of hugs and kisses, and told her that we had to leave but we'd be back to check on her later. She could go to sleep, or cry - it was her decision. Then we set the timer for 20 minutes, during which she howled as though she were being mauled by a bear. Then we'd go in and tell her that we loved her, touch her and rub her tummy - but not pick her up. Then we'd repeat the whole thing. The first night it took three 20-minute sessions. The second night it took two, the third night one and by the fourth night she went to sleep without a fuss.

Now Annika's 6. I don't think she was psychologically scarred by crying for 20-minute intervals, but I do believe that this method saved our family.

Heather, I am so sorry about your Grandmother. My Grandmother passed away this past July and I had no idea how much I would be affected by it, but I was. Take time to grieve and spend time thinking about all the wonderful memories. Wonderfully enough I got pregnant the week of her funeral, and if it's a girl we plan on naming her after my Grandmother. Life is funny in it's cyclical ways, but you have to do your best to move upward and onward. Good luck, thinking of you and your family.

I am sorry that your granny died. Hug.

I'm so sorry about your granny!
Mine has been gone for 3 years and I miss her so much. I keep the soap that she kept in her chest of drawers to keep her clothes smelling lovely in my own drawers now. My grandma smelled like lavender.

Granny Boone and my stepdad are looking down on us now. They are both in good company.
My heart goes out to you Heather.

Nichole

sorry for your loss.
as for babies and sleeping, to each their own. glad it worked out for you (with both daughters)

So sorry about your loss...Grandparents are so special.
I let my daughter cry herself to sleep too. Around the same age as Leta, actually. It was one of the most difficult things as a parent that I have done. You are so not alone on this topic, even if most people wouldn't admit to doing it. Sleep is a beautiful thing!!

I am sorry for your lost. My grandmother just passed in August and I'm still trying to find the words.

so sorry for the loss of your granny. i remember you posting a photo of her holding Marlo right after she was born and thinking it was amazing to have four generations together. thinking about you and your family.

xo
Kelly

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

My grandmother died on March 28th of this year. I think of her every day, and will every day for the rest of my life.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I think it makes it sweeter to get lucky with the second after struggling so much with the first. It happened that way for me too.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss Heather. Thank you for taking the time to update your blog when you have other more important things going on right now. May you and your family get through this rough time with great memories of Granny Boone.

Heather, My sincere condolences on your loss. It's great that Granny Boone got to meet Marlo. I'm sure she was, and remains, very proud of you!

Heather, I prayed (or asked the universe, which is what I do) for your Granny, and am so sorry for your loss. You've had a very tough few weeks (the haters have just SUCKED so much lately), and I honestly think the blessings of Marlo are karmic -- you deserve some awesomeness. My 1st child was an amazing baby, which I think was God (or whoever)'s way of saying, "Hi. I know you can only handle THIS MUCH. So here you go."
I'm so sorry you're grieving.
Carol

So sorry to hear of the loss of your Granny. I loved this post. All three of my kids have been totally different sleepers. The latter two being better sleepers as we actually followed their cues and not what the "experts" told us was right.

My sincere condolences to you and your family.

So sorry about the loss of your grandma. I'm sure she is so proud of you and how you are raising those girls. We also let our daughter cry-it-out at 5 months, and it worked like a charm. Mothers (and many fathers) can tell the difference between yelling to get attention and real distress/pain/illness, and an hour or two of crying alone does not undermine the love and attention given ALLLLL DAYYYYY LOOONNNNGGG. Clearly you have been shaped by some amazing, strong women.

I just lost my Poppa this week, from a freight-train of a tummy tumor. I'm sorry about your Gram, I know the pain. The little kids released balloons at her grave, the wee ones wrote messages to poppa on them, and sent them his way. It was beautiful. (piks on my blog, plus a cheesy video you can skip, he was my poppa not yours) My toddler blew kisses at the casket as we left. Ripped my heart out. We loved him oh so well. Sorry for your family's loss.

So very sorry for your loss, Heather. That's all I can say right now because I'm still trying to process the loss of my own dear grandma.

R.I.P. Granny Boone. So sorry for your loss, Heather.

My heartfelt condolences to you and to your family.

P.S. there are MANY of us who let our kids cry themselves to sleep and they turned out just fine.

All my sympathies to you and your family on your loss. I, too, had a Granny and miss her still, 16 years later.

As for letting the baby cry: We were part of a large (15 family) group in China when we adopted our daughter. She was 13 months old, and we all had cribs in our hotel rooms. When we put her down to sleep, we went out in the hall and sat on the floor with the door cracked. Each night she cried less and less so that by the end of our two weeks, she was sleeping as soon as we put her down. The other families thought we were the anti-Christ. But we got to sleep and they didn't.

Losing a granny is the WORST - my condolences. The hardest part is missing her during family events and holidays. The pain doesn't go away - it has been three years since my Grams died. I just remember how special she made my life and it never fails to bring a smile :)

About kids sleeping - I personally use Babywise and all 3 kids slept 8 hrs a night by 8 weeks. But I don't give a flying s*#% what other people do. Why do people feel the need to push their methods on others? Its ridiculous.

P.S. I am mortified at the error in my comment, which should read "It ain't THEIR family". God, please fix that. kthnxbye

So sorry for your loss. You have always spoke of her with such love I'm sure she will be missed dearly. You and your family will be in my prayers.

First - I'm so sorry about your granny.

As for how to get one's kids to sleep, I can't believe people get so hot under the collar about it! I have 2 sons. My oldest didn't sleep for a year. He was adopted and had experienced twice the phenomenon of going to sleep only to wake up and never see people again. I got so desperate that on the advice of a doctor I tried the old cry it out. For him, it was the wrong thing. In the end, he needed me to appear every time he started to get a little upset after a little while of this, he realized I'd still be there (now at almost 13, I'm sure he sometimes wishes that I wouldn't ALWAYS BE THERE).

My youngest was of the "why are you still here, can't you see I'm sleeping" variety. He wasn't a snuggler as a baby and I had my time of "Hey! What about me?! Remember me?! The MOMMY!" at about 3 all the sudden he was Mommy's boy. He still demands snuggles at bedtime and wake up time and he's Leta's age (kindergarten! Where did the time go?!).

Kids are different, circumstances are different, heck, parents are different by the time they already have kids. In sleep, as in all parenting techniques, you do what best serves the child, the situation, and your family.

End of sermon. :-)

So sorry to hear about your grandmother. It's funny how life and death dovetail each other sometimes...The first time I felt my baby move was when I was at the hospital watching my Dad pass away.

I'm sorry about your loss as well. My son is 3.5 months old, but I really don't have the heart to let him cry it out. He's not yet sleeping through the night, but seeing as how I haven't lost my mind yet, I hold out hope that at some point, both of us will sleep through the night.

As far as cruelty goes, we recently had him circumcised, and I totally can't believe people do this. It just seems so crazy. I actually had people tell me that 'it didn't hurt the baby, he only cried because he was scared.' OMG.

I am so sorry for your loss, Heather. I hope that you and your family find peace and love in each other during this trying time.

I know you get thousands of comments, but I'm just one more out here, I guess, to say I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother.

First, I'm so sorry for your loss. Second, this post came at a perfect time for me, as I'm struggling with trying to let my 7-week-old baby either cry-it-out or jumping every time she cries. Your take makes perfect sense to me. Thank you!

Oh Heather. I'm very sorry.

I'm sorry about your grandma. Thankfully she met Marlo. God bless you in your mourning and her in her trip 'home'.

So sorry to hear about the death of your grandmother. They're such special people and it's damn hard when they die. I hope you'll find comfort in Marlo's smile.

I left a comment on the momversation disagreeing with the practice of letting your baby "cry it out" and based my opinion on what I know about childhood development. Below a certain age, kids aren't developmentally capable of learning to "self soothe".

However, I wasn't in your house and you're absolutely right - you do whatever works for your family. Obviously, you'd tried everything else, obviously you had no tools left in your box of magic parenting tools, so you did what you had to do for your family to survive. I may disagree with the theory, but if the practice worked, who am I to judge?

So sorry to hear about your granny. Thinking of you all.

Very sorry for your loss, I hope you and your family find peace out of all of this. Treasure the moments you had with her, and be sure to tell your girls all about her.

so beautiful.

So, so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry to hear your Granny has passed. I hope you continue to see elements of your Granny is the delight that is your daughter for always.

It seems to take such strength to simply say "I am doing what works for myself and my child." And try as I might I to consciously step away from that slippery slope of mother judgement occasionally I slip. Then I typically utter those words we all hate to hear ourselves "My way is right and your way is awful." I usually feel quite like the awful ogre in retrospect.

With sleeping we rolled with the flow for no reason other than not knowing better or different. Our first son was a slept well. Our second son more of a challenge. I'm somewhat thankful that the challenge came second when I was more comfortable in my own mother skin. We did what he needed us to do and what was needed for us all to sleep. Because without real sleep everything was harder.

I never comment despite reading nearly daily for several years, but I want to extend my sincere condolences. And I would if I could see. My grandfather died in March and I've got tears streaming down my face.

Okay, back after a tissue break. I'm really sorry about your and your family's loss. It's never long enough.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your Granny Boone. Losing a grandparent can be so awful; I'm so sorry.

On your other topic...
I've got 2 daughters (4.5 and 2.5), and in nearly 5 years of parenting, I've learned one (and only one) thing: You never know.
You just never know. You don't know until you've lived it.

You make plans... You hope and try... And sometimes, it's great. And sometimes, it's shit. And then you change things up, and you try some more.

First daughter: Slept terribly. We refused to allow her to cry; didn't have the strength. "Trained" her at 7 months, with soothing techniques that didn't allow crying. Took 6 weeks, but she got it, and has slept perfectly ever since.

We vowed to do the same with our 2nd daughter -- it worked with the first! It will work with the next!

2nd daughter slept with us (more out of convenience than any kind of belief system). For 3 months, it worked. Then, suddenly, it didn't. NO ONE was getting any sleep, and we were ALL miserable. Most of all, I was an exhausted train wreck who couldn't enjoy either of my girls during the day, because I was SO DAMN TIRED from none of us sleeping well.

Ready to completely break down... Felt I couldn't go on another minute... Was NOT being even CLOSE to the mom/wife/human being I wanted to be and knew I could be... Things HAD to change, or else I knew I'd lose it. Like, for real. And there was NO WAY we could go the slow route like we did before, and "train" her over 6 weeks. Things needed to change NOW.

So we dumped our previous philosophy and decided to let her cry it out. Took 4 nights... Four nights where I cried as much as she did... And then, bam. She slept. And slept and slept. In her own bed. And she has ever since.

Both girls are smart, funny, engaging, joyful, and, yes, occasional pains in my ass. And they both sleep amazingly well, with no seeming need for a future therapist (not for this, anyway).

You're exactly right: You do what works for your family. What works for each kid.
Because until you've done it? You don't know.

Again... I'm so sorry for your Granny.

Dooce, my version of Granny Boone died just over a year ago. It sucks donkey balls (a phrase I'm sure your Granny would adore). I'm so very sorry.

whatever works for the family is exactly right! what works for one kid may or probably won't work for the next kid. crying it out is heart wrenching, but if it's what you have to do to preserve your sanity (hello, world revolves around mommy, someone has to stay sane) then that's what you have to do. guess i'm a baby killer too.

So sad to hear about your granny, i hope you have many wonderful memories of her. your post made me want to cry for remembrance of my sweet grandma Grace who passed this May, just one month after my daughter - also Grace - was born. You're so lucky Granny Boone knew your girls, my grandmother never got the chance to meet either of her great grandchildren, and due to severe dementia wouldn't have known it even if she had met them.

So sorry to hear about Granny Boone. I loved this post.

I'm envious of your blessings and saddened by your loss! Thanks for keeping it real as usual and brightening my day!!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's really wierd that you're talking about sleeping. My son, who's a wonderful 16 year old, started taking his last feeding at 11:30 pm and sleeping until 6:00 am at 8 weeks. God has a funny way of tricking you sometimes. My daughter, who's 4, has never slept the night through yet. Well I can't really say never but they're probably not a dozen nights in 4 years. I didn't realize how spoiled we were until Miranda arrived. At one point we actually sought counseling to help with the fact that she would cry most of the night and wouldn't stay in bed. We had to let her cry it out. I agree with you, I know I cried more than she did. But she's finally to the point that when she wakes, I just take her back to bed and she goes without a fight and goes back to sleep. You do have to do what you need to to make your family work.

I've lost my grandmothers and my mom. You'll never get over missing them. If you're lucky you'll always feel there with you.

That last line brought me to tears...PERFECT way to describe it! I am so so sorry about the loss of your granny.

god, she does look JUST LIKE HER, which must seem both eerie and special. I'm so sorry, but am glad you're feeling like life is precious and that you are surrounded by love.

Great blog Heather. Well put. I am so so sorry for your loss! My thoughts go out to you and your family.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Grannies are very special. Again, so sorry.
K.

what a great picture of your granny and what a rad jacket she's sporting.

i'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm with you on sleep. You do what you have to do to make your family function. We sleep trained too. We waited until I was at my wit's end, sobbing and declaring things like "I hate my life" because I was so desperate for sleep. It was hard, hellish hard, but I don't regret it. We should have done it sooner.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

I am so sorry to read about the loss of your Granny Boone. Her photo looks like she was the sweetest woman in the world. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

One other thing I wanted to mention was that I LOVE your hair! It looks great!

I don't normally post, but I just wanted to say that grandmothers are such special people, and I am sorry for your loss.

PS - I enjoy your blog.

I bought the book mentioned, 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks. It works! My son is 12 weeks and I started the steps taught in the book 2 weeks ago. He was already a good, easy baby but he slept 10 hours the first night. Now you are supposed to start with step 1 and work your way through to step 4 but within 3 days my son had just adapted to pretty much the whole thing. the only thing he hasnt done is the daytime nap thing. I still pretty much let him sleep when he wants during the day.

so any of you looking for a way to put your baby on a schedule, I would recommend it.

I am so sorry for your loss.

So sorry to hear about your loss Heather. Hugs to you and your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Heather. That is heartbreaking.

I am thankful for your "luck"... And for the emotional fortitude that allows you to continue to be honest in the face of critics with mean, loud voices. I hope the voices of us that support and appreciate you are louder. Always.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family today Heather. I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry about your Granny.How wonderful that you got to have her for so long.

I totally let my daughter cry herself to sleep, nothing we were doing to calm the crying was helping and I felt like pulling my hair out. Instead I kind of said "OK, you figure it out." and she did. And now she's 10 and she doesn't even need therapy... yet.

So sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry about your Granny Heather.
She looked like a sweet lady.

What you didn't intend to mention turned this into a very touching and real post, Heather. I don't know if I have ever commented on your blog before, but I've been reading for years, and I resonate with every word in this post.

:( So sorry.

But I'm glad they got to meet, these two people who are forever connected. And the juxtaposition of life and death...totally amazing, isn't it?

Oh, Heather, I'm so sorry to hear that. Many hugs from the midwest!

I'm so sorry for your loss - how wonderful your Granny got to meet Marlo before she passed. My grandfather passed away in February right after my 59-year-old Uncle told him that he and his wife were expecting their first child. Pop told them that their baby was going to be a boy and would have his eyes. Sure enough, Baby James was born on Friday and looks JUST like my grandfather. This new life has been so healing for me and my family.

Marlo has the same sparkle in her eyes. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Oh wow. You had me. I was with you on letting babies cry it out (so I must be going to hell with you). Then you hit me in the gut about your granny. Uh boy. So, so sorry.

I'm glad Marlo got to meet your Granny Boone. May you find strength in your family at this difficult time.

sorry to hear about your grandmother passing.

My great grandmother was 94 when I was pregnant with my first. When told she would become a great-great grandmother she replied "But I already am a GREAT great grandmother!" and winked. She started getting weaker during my pregnancy and said "I need to check out so this little guy can check in". She died 6 days before he was born.

Anyhow,I always thought you got your kids to sleep by giving them a bottle of liquor in their crib.

Wow. The timeliness of this post for me is amazing.

I am struggling with a decision about CIO right now. As in, last night my husband insisted we try the Ferber method with our 5.5 month old son. He woke up crying three times last night. My husband had to more or less physically restrain me from picking up my son, as well as endure my sobbing and pacing outside the nursery door.

At one point last night I actually searched the archive of your site to see if you'd written anything on this topic, and it did help me to read your entry from a couple years ago along with the comments from your readers. Because when you're going through it you feel like you're the only one.

I don't know how tonight will go. I don't know if continuing is the correct course of action for our family. I just don't know. My stomach has been in knots all day thinking about it. As I write this I am pushing back tears. A wretched soundtrack of my son's cries from last night has been replaying in my head over, and over and over again all day long.

Thank you, just thank you, for being willing to address this topic and the controversy around it.

I am sincerely sorry to hear about your Granny Boone. My condolences to you and your family.

I'm so sorry to read that your Granny has passed. But I think that's the coolest thing about having kids. Now whenever Marlo smiles, you'll remember your Granny in the best way. At least for Marlo it's her smile. For me, it's my great grandpa's ears. They looked a lot cuter on an old bald man.

So sorry about your Granny, Heather.

May she dance with the angels...

Your last paragraph is beautiful, just beautiful. From someone who misses her Grandmother 4 years later, its beautiful and so true.

For my first two girls, we got up a billion times a night forever. It wrecked havoc on our marriage, our family and our sanity. With our new baby, she cried it out at 5 months. I can't tell you the difference.

Heather -

Good afternoon. I am sorry to hear about your Granny. Be confident that you gave her, her flowers when she was living. Take care.

Dear, dear Heather...

So sorry to hear of your loss. Both of my Granny's are gone and I miss them.

I know it breaks your heart, but be proud of little Marlo. My daughter never, ever slept with me...and like Marlo, she only woke to nurse once per night and slept for the duration WHEN SHE WAS ONLY WEEKS OLD. We have independent little divas, and they will be all the better prepared for life because of it.

Sending good thoughts your way...

i am so sorry about your grandmother
the dull ache never goes away but try to remember the happy

also, i dont think there is anything wrong with the cry it out method

Heather,
I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. How lucky you are to have been able to have your Granny Boone see what a great mother you are, and what fabulous children you will leave as her legacy.

Sorry for your loss. Take care.

I'm so sorry to hear about your family's loss, Heather.

I'm sorry for your loss. Marlo and Granny Boone do smile alike. I'm so happy that they had a chance to get to know each other, and share smiles.

I too had a baby that was mostly well behaved during the day, but at night she would turn into someone else. She woke up constantly to eat for five seconds and fall asleep. Everyone kept saying, "oh her days and nights are mixed up." I wanted to squirt breast milk in their eyes.

A cycle - truly. Say hello to one life and goodbye to another. My sincere condolences on the loss of your granny, Heather. It is my hope that she went peacefully in her sleep. And my congratulations for not bending to what's politically correct; letting the babes cry it out (once you know they're clean, fed and all that good stuff) is the only way they're going to learn it's ok to be on their own. If you pick them up each time they cried, you'd end up with a wimpy, spoiled child that demands much attention for all the wrong reasons.

I, too, am most glad that Granny Boone got to know Marlo.

It really is LUCK! Makes you feel better about the "mistakes" you made with the first. It's not as much about the parenting as we originally thought.

Sorry about your Granny.

My sincere condolences to you and your family. The loss of a loved one, regardless of how sudden or how prepared we are, always is a truly painful experience. I lost my aunt (who was much like a grandmother) just this summer and I still find moments of grief. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

I am so sorry to hear about your Granny Boone. Stay strong and remember that when you miss her, just look at Marlo.

I am hoping that my Granny Boone doesn't soon follow, she is battling cancer right now.

Many condolences to you and your family.
I was debating whether to go see my Nana on my trip home for my 20-year high school reunion. The last time I saw her, she didn't know who I was. I looked at her and saw that the lights were on, but no one is home. I couldn't look at her after that.
I think I will go see her and say goodbye because who knows if I will ever get the chance again?
Thanks for your post.

Heather, so sorry about your Granny.

Regarding letting babies cry, I wish I'd done that when my son was a baby. I might have had a few nights of good sleep between the time he was born and the time he learned to drive (when momsleep gets sketchy again).

A sad loss, sorry to hear of it.

I was pretty impressed--you got 259 comments before an insensitive asshole showed up. I guess there's at least one in every crowd.

I let my first cry it out, and sobbed along with him three nights in a row. He slept like a champ after that, and has for the past 6 years. Apparently my willingness to just LET THEM CRY now radiates from me in an aura of heartlessness that the younger ones picked up on right away. The other three never tried that shit and slept beautifully from the time they could keep their tummies full for more than two hours at a time.

-->Granny will live on through Marlo's smile.

http://www.websavymom.com

I am so sorry to hear about your Granny. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am sending peace and love to you.

Oh, Marlo DOES look just like your Granny Boone! I'm so sorry she's gone.

Thinking of you and your family, Heather. This, on a day when I've been thinking about my own grandmother and her lost battle to cancer 12 years ago. I was thinking about her, because a dear friend's grandfather was just diagnosed with a cancer similar to my mother's own latest diagnosis, which got me thinking about my Grammy and then I read your post and that's when the tears came. Anyway, feeling sad for you, but also feeling joyful for the loveliness of your family. May you find comfort in knowing you spent so many good years with Granny Boone and that you have so many years left with your sweet girls and husband. Best wishes.