The labor story, part three
So. The end of the story. I'm not sure how to even begin this, and there's a part of me that wants to go: there once was a lady who got pregnant and then 40 weeks later there was a baby. The End. Except, then my monitor would be covered in tomatoes and trash and whatever you can find to throw at me, maybe a handful of pebbles or a brick, something substantial to cause a lot of pain, because you've been patiently waiting for this part of the story. But WHAT IF THERE ISN'T AN END TO THIS STORY? What if one of the rumors I read somewhere was true? THAT I MADE IT ALL UP. THAT MY BELLY WAS A PROSTHETIC AND MARLO IS A ROBOT.
Note: turns out robots have stinky poo. WHO KNEW.
That's some prosthetic, eh?
As I've been reading some of the responses to this story so far, I think I have to begin this part by saying that my decision to try to have a natural birth is in no way a judgment on how you or any other woman gives birth. In fact, it is just the opposite, and I hope that by sharing this with you that maybe if you're pregnant or even thinking about it that you'll just do a little reading and research and find out that you have options. That's it. That's really all I'm trying to do. YOU HAVE OPTIONS. And even though Marlo didn't come into this world via a c-section, if she had I think I still would have been just as transformed by my experience because of the work I did to get in touch with me, with my body, with OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GROSS I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO WRITE IT, with my womanhood.
VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA.
There. I said it.
I just did a lot of work this time, and I don't know what else to call it: work. I read and studied a lot, I searched for videos and other stories, and OOOH PLEASE DON'T THROW UP BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU, I meditated and visualized. Yuck! I know!
I spent a lot of time alone, just me and the baby in my womb, thinking and feeling and getting ready to welcome her to the world. I studied pain management techniques and reached far down inside my gut to prepare myself for the ultimate experience a human being can have: giving someone life. Which is why I cannot abide it when someone compares a root canal to giving birth when they say, well, you take pain medication for a root canal, why wouldn't you for labor? Do you not see the absurdity in that? Comparing the birth of a human being to a tooth?
(Stepping off soap box now. It was very uncomfortable up there at that altitude. Feeling dizzy. Where was I? Right. VAGINA.)
Marlo's due date was June 14th, and nine days before then my mucous plug came out. In fact, I twittered about it, meaning I told the over one million people who follow me on twitter that a giant wad of snot came out of my vagina:
The fact that I knew that a million people would read about my mucous plug DID NOT STOP ME FROM WRITING ABOUT IT. This is what Jon has to live with. Please send him flowers.
Many people wrote to tell me that this meant I was going to give birth RIGHT THEN. Or at least within the hour, right? Maybe later that day? And then I didn't go into labor right then. Or even that day. Or even that week. And in the middle of all my positive visualization my Hamilton brain took over and started going, YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GO INTO LABOR. Also, you're going to die. And your hair is ugly.
I had to physically push all these negative thoughts out of my brain because people were sending me stories about women who had gone, like, 18 days past their due date. 18! OH MY GOD! Can you even believe that? Men, you don't understand this, but that number is just incomprehensible. Because once you go A SINGLE DAY past your due date you are suddenly unable to count past one. What comes after that number? Nothing, right? Because I can't go another day. I cannot walk, and my face is retaining so much water that I cannot lift it off this pillow, it is so heavy. Wait, two? There's a number two? TWO?! THEY NEVER TAUGHT ME THAT IN KINDERGARTEN, THOSE BITCHES!
And suddenly you think, that's it, I'm going to be pregnant forever. Ask any woman who has ever been pregnant and they will tell you that they have had that thought. And then followed that thought with a giant bowl of chocolate ice cream. And then some uncontrollable flatulence.
And then on Saturday, June 13th, the day before Marlo was due, I woke up, went to the bathroom and passed another mucous plug — turns out they can regenerate themselves! like starfish! — except this time it contained a tad bit more blood. I know, I know, you do not want to hear another word about my mucous plug WHY AM I DOING THIS TO YOU? Why? WHY?! Because I'm number twenty-six! THAT'S WHY.
I walked back into the bedroom to tell Jon about this special little visitor, and then when I sat back down on the bed I felt what seemed to be a menstrual cramp. Nothing too painful, but noticeable enough to clutch at my stomach and go, gehhhhh. That's right, gehhhhh. What? Was I supposed to come up with something more sophisticated? There I am forty pounds heavier than normal, I've just passed a wad of bloody snot into the toilet, and suddenly I've got a stomach ache. I think gehhhhh was totally appropriate.
And then five minutes later I feel another menstrual cramp. This goes on for, oh, seven hours? Eight? I can't remember, only that I was certain it meant that I was going to take an enormous crap. That's just my track record. During the last week that I was pregnant with Leta I thought I was going into labor three different times, and each time Jon would break out his watch and time the contractions, and we'd get all excited, like BABY BABY BABY, and then BOOM, I'd go take a poop and everything would stop. And then Jon would walk around shaking his head going, dude, I just spent four hours of my life counting down to my wife's bowel movement.
So I really didn't think much of the cramps, and continued on with my day as if everything were normal. We all got dressed and showered because my extended family had scheduled a dinner for all the adults that night at Outback Steakhouse. Yes. Outback Steakhouse. I mean, Applebee's wasn't available, and The Olive Garden was much too out of the way. And we'd been to Chili's just last week. Am I being a snob about this? I certainly am, only because I think that BRANCHING OUT A LITTLE BIT wouldn't hurt. And one of the bullet points at the top of the list of things I want to do before I die is see my father eat a piece of raw fish. And then not spit it out into his napkin. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK.
Anyway, there were like ten of us, maybe? All sitting there around this huge round table in the middle of Outback Steakhouse eating mashed potatoes and ridiculously large slabs of meat, when suddenly my cramps become a bit more noticeable. Before there were all, hi! I'm a cramp! Nice to meet you! And then suddenly they're all HELLO. I AM HERE. DO YOU LIKE MY FANCY BLOUSE?
I have to put down my fork several times because I'm so uncomfortable, but I'm still in denial and have made sure that I know the quickest route to the restroom so that I can take that crap I've been waiting to have ALL DAY LONG. And when the server comes over to refill my water I grab her arm and go, "Do you know how to deliver a baby?" Because I thought it was funny! I mean, it's not like I was in labor or anything! These cramps don't mean anything! Wait... I can't see so good, let me grip this table to steady myself, and Jon is all, dude, are you okay? And the server is all OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Except she was Mormon so really it was more like OH MY HECK OH MY HECK OH MY HECK.
My mother looks at me and tells me that it's going to happen tonight, and I assure her that she is delusional. Doesn't she know that I'm going to go 18 days past my due date? I READ ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET. No, really. If it happened to that woman, it could happen to me, and wait a minute.... HELLO CRAMP. YOUR BLOUSE IS LOVELY.
Anyway, I promise this is going somewhere. It's just, I've had a lot of coffee. Whoops. Did I just admit that on the Internet in front of millions of judgmental women? YES. I AM DRINKING COFFEE WHILE BREASTFEEDING. Also, Marlo sees me naked. Regularly. HURRY. TURN UP YOUR NOSE.
The cramps continue at that slightly elevated pace for the next few hours, and when we get home and climb in bed I have Jon google Braxton Hicks contractions, and when he reads me what he's found I have convinced myself that what I'm experiencing is exactly that: these cramps weren't getting longer or much stronger or closer together. False labor. So you know what I do? Do you want to know what number twenty-six does in this situation? Because I'm not sure you're going to be able to handle the brilliance of what I'm about to tell you. No, really. Get ready for this. Are you ready? Yes? Get this:
I take a sleeping pill.
I am not even kidding. An over-the-counter sleeping pill that is perfectly safe to take while pregnant, but a sleeping pill nonetheless. SLEEPING PILL. TO MAKE ME DROWSY. And here's where this whole story turns into a Ben Stiller movie. And I'm apologizing in advance because if I were reading this I'd want to punch me in the face, too.
Not three minutes after taking that sleeping pill I get hit with a contraction that knocks me to the ground. TO. THE. GROUND. Those cramps go from NO, REALLY, I GOT THIS BLOUSE ON SALE! to MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!!!!!!!!!!
And then three minutes later, another one. And then three minutes later, another one. Jon starts timing them, and we soon realize that denial is not just a river in Egypt. I'm not quite sure what to do because I had planned on going 18 days past my due date, so I call my doula and ask her what to do. She says to call the hospital, and I do that, and when the doctor on call that night calls me back she says, "Is this Heather?" and I go, "This is – WAIT, CAN YOU HOLD ON A MINUTE? BECAUSE THE LOWER HALF OF MY BODY IS TRYING TO SEPARATE ITSELF FROM THE TOP HALF."
And I'm not even kidding, she laughed at me! She laughed! AT MY PAIN. And I should have been mad at her, but for some reason the tone of her laugh was comforting, and she goes, "Why are you not in the car on your way to the hospital RIGHT NOW?"
Oh god. I'm going to have my baby in the car! A car baby! We'll name her Toyota! That's not weird at all!
It's total chaos in the house at this point, Jon is stuffing clothes into bags and calling everyone involved, the dogs are like WHAT'S GOING ON, ARE THERE TREATS INVOLVED? I'm groaning like a moose being shoved head first into a wood chipper, and then we have to wake up Leta! Leta! My daughter! My beautiful child! Oh wait, what about her sleeping schedule? If we wake her up will she ever go back to sleep? Can you even believe I'm having thoughts like this when I'm about to give birth? There I am worried about my kid's sleeping schedule and if messing it up is going to wreck our lives! Clearly I am not on the right meds!
Somehow we make it into the car, I don't remember how, only that as Jon is putting our bags into the back I get hit with a contraction and have to put my head down on the hood of the car. And I'm moaning so loud that it's causing the whole car to vibrate. And from the back of the car he goes, "Heather, now calm down. You need to be calm."
Blink.
Blink. Blink.
Did he just say that to me? OH NO HE DIDN'T. And I'm not going to admit publicly what I screamed at him just then because those words would cause the entire Internet to explode. A fire would spread from that endless string of obscenities from this website out into the world and next thing you know everyone is on the phone to their Internet provider asking why it is broken.
And then the car ride. You know, one of the last places you want to be when you're in labor is in the front seat of a moving vehicle. It's not fun. Not one bit. Especially when the five-year-old that you just woke up from a princess dream is sitting in the backseat crying because Mommy is screaming. This is what that car ride looked like:
Me: "ARRRRGHHHHHHGRRUUUUUDDDD!"
Leta: "What's wrong with Mom? Is Mom okay? Is Mom okay?"
Jon: "Mom is fine, it's just that sometimes—"
Me: "Hi! I'm Fine! Look! Look at me! I'm fine! Weeee! Having fun! Totally fine!"
Leta: "Okay, but—"
Me: "ARRRRGHHHHHHGRRUUUUUDDDD!"
Jon: "You see, Leta, when Moms have babies—"
Me: "WEEEEEEE! Totally fine! See! Look at me! Fine! I've never felt more fine!"
Jon parks right in front of the hospital, and I try to run as fast I can to get through the door before I get hit with another contraction, and there I am. I am that woman. I am that woman stopping, grabbing on to whatever she can find and moaning the ugliest moan you have ever heard. I grabbed the wall, I grabbed the edge of a desk, I grabbed the door jamb, and the woman at the desk had the audacity to ask me to fill out a piece of paperwork. And it took every molecule in my body to ask nicely, please, would it be okay if my husband who is seconds behind me with my daughter, could he do it? Pretty please? I mean, in all the preparation I had done to have a natural labor, I managed to miss the part about being able to write legibly during a contraction.
Thankfully my mother and stepfather have arrived at the hospital just in time, and as my stepfather leaves with Leta someone walks up to me with a wheelchair and says that they're here to take me to my room. Um, no. There is no way you are going to get me into a wheelchair at this point, that sounds like the most awful thing in the world. Just awful. Suddenly everything is awful. I'll just walk, thank you very much. And well, that walk was what I imagine it feels like to stare at the end of a long plank hanging off the edge of a pirate ship. Let's just say that I got to know the wallpaper along the walls of that hospital REALLY well as every few steps I'd stop, turn my head into the wall and dig my fingernails into my thighs. And here's where I explain how I coped with the pain:
Have you ever seen one of those yard ornaments where a constant stream of water flows over a ball of some sort? They've got a giant one at the Hogle Zoo here in Salt Lake City, and I didn't even know that I was going to have this sort of vision, but suddenly I've turned myself into that water ball at the Hogle Zoo, and the contraction is the water flowing over me.
I know. Go ahead and tell me to shut up, that is the stupidest thing you've ever heard.
I turn to the woman leading me to the room, and I go, "Can you give me a sec? I'm a yard ornament."
We FINALLY get to the room, what, two years later? And I'm changing into a hospital gown just as my sister arrives. And between contractions they check to see that I've dilated to four centimeters, which is good, but not great. Means I've got six more to go, and OH MY. THE PAIN. There is a lot of pain. Pain, pain, pain, and I thought I was going to want to walk around and sit on a ball or drape myself around Jon's neck, but the only position that feels good is to lean down and bury my head into the bed. And that's where I stay for I think an hour. I don't know how long because when you're in that kind of pain time turns into a mystical, ethereal wind chime with pointy-eared fairies and stars on it, and it starts to speak one of those languages in a Tolkien book, and I keep looking up from the bed between contractions and asking, "Is this real? Am I really here? Is this really happening?"
OOOH, LOOK! IT'S DOOCE'S BUTT ON THE INTERNET:
And that's the closest I will ever come to a scandalous sex tape.
Within that hour the other two members of my labor party arrive, my doula Aubrey, and our assistant Katey, who told me that in writing this story I have to mention how I kept yelling at everyone about my toe. Fine, I'll tell the toe part. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, KATEY?
I don't know if you remember, but I broke my pinky toe in late April, and it screwed up my life more than I thought it would, it being a damn pinky toe and all, and the Hamilton part of my brain kept thinking, uh oh. What if it doesn't heal by the time you go into labor? Can you handle the pain of a contraction and a broken pinky toe AT THE SAME TIME? CAN YOU? ANSWER ME!
Turns out it did heal, but while I've got my head buried into the hospital bed and I'm groaning through a contraction, imagining the water flowing over me, HELLO, I'M A YARD ORNAMENT, I keep thinking that someone is stepping on that toe. That damn pinky toe. And I keep yelling out, GET OFF MY TOE! When, guess what? No one is anywhere near that toe. No. Where. Near. It. But I am adamant. And angry that no one believes me, so I keep screaming it, GET OFF MY TOE! GET OFF MY TOE! When someone finally gets a clue, gets down into my face and assures me that they have found the person who was standing on it and have swiftly beheaded said offender. Now can we move on, Heather?
I don't know who it was that assured me that the toe area was clear now, but thank you!
Also, I yelled at my mother for tapping my leg. And I cussed while doing so. She wanted me to tell you that she, The Avon World Sales Leader and devout Mormon, did not take "motherfucker" personally, you have to forgive people when they're in that kind of pain.
My doula Aubrey has given everyone a job, and even though I thought I would not want to be touched during labor it turns out that that's all I want. And I'm gripping someone's hands while someone pushes on my back while someone rubs the back of my neck. OH! And I almost forgot! We brought an iPod deck and we're listening to Radiohead's In Rainbows on repeat! God! That's one of the most important parts! Because while the contraction rolls through my body I'm concentrating on the lyrics to the music, and who knew! It totally took my mind off the pain. Sort of. Not really. But kind of!
Thanks, Thom!
Okay, now it's getting really bad, and I'm having two contractions back to back, a three minute break, and then another contraction, and when I describe where most of the pain is, the nurse, who by the way was such a rock star, someone who coached me through all the way and never gave up on me, she suggests that the baby may be posterior and that I get up on all fours on the bed to try and get her to move. This is important because at this point I cannot get off that bed, it just doesn't sound good to me. In fact, all I want to do is lie on my side and bury my head into the plastic handle of the hospital bed. And that's where I stay for the rest of the labor, my eyes closed, someone pushing on my back, someone pushing on my legs, and my hand gripping and pushing on Jon's hand.
Everyone is quietly rooting me on, saying things like, you're doing so good! You're doing this! Keep it up! And I don't know, those are just simple little words, but you have no idea what they mean when you don't know if you're going to live through the next contraction. I didn't know if I was going to live, and just hearing their voices, the positivity in their words, it was like a giant rope attached to my chest pulling me out of the ground.
There are a few moments between contractions when I open my eyes to see Jon's arm, and I can barely describe how comforting it is. I can't see his face, my vision is so cloudy with pain, but I can see his hand and arm. And I guess at one point everyone in the group changes positions to get at better angles on my body, and suddenly I look up and I can't see the hairy arm! Where's the hairy arm! GIVE ME BACK THE HAIRY ARM!
He jumps right back into place and I immediately push into his hand with all my strength, and here's where it gets all spiritual and shit. Sorry, but it happened and it was real and, no, I don't go to church, but I imagine that what I felt then is why people do. By this time they've broken my water and I'm dilated to an eight or whatever, it just didn't all really matter right then. I seriously didn't care how far along I was or how much longer it was going to take. Everything at that point vanished, and it was just me and Jon. The two of us. Two tiny spots of light. My hand in his.
They tell me that suddenly I stopped groaning during contractions, and all I can remember is going deep inside Jon's palm where I could crawl up into a ball to go to sleep.
That's where I remained when suddenly the doctor tells me to roll over. It's time to push. I had no idea. NO IDEA. Really? We're already there? WE'RE THERE. And suddenly I'm jerked out of Jon's hand and thrown right into a wall of pain so magnificent in its awfulness that I really do think I'm going to die. This is what it must feel like to be eaten by a shark. You always wonder about that, you know? I think I know now.
And thus commenced the longest twelve minutes of my life. I know. ONLY TWELVE MINUTES. Can I just say right now that it felt like twelve millennia? In my head it seemed like she was not ever going to come out of my body, and then suddenly, after years and years of pushing through a pain so horrific, so nightmarish that for days afterward I would think that a contraction was coming on and I'd brace myself for the impact of the eighteen wheeler headed straight for my gut, her head came out. And her eyes were wide open. And she looked straight at the Avon World Sale Leader.
She's here! She's here! Everyone is cheering, and there I am thinking that it's all over, although that eighteen wheeler is still dragging my body down the freeway. And the doctor goes, "Now one more push to get her shoulders out."
HUH? HUHHHHH? WHAT?
Um, no. NO NO NO.
I'm done. Y'all can just pull her out. It's your turn.
So. SO. I close my eyes, grab Jon's hand one last time, and scream like I have never screamed before. I mean, it was a Leta scream. Do I even need to say more?
And suddenly, she really is here, all of her, all ten fingers and toes and Mike Hamilton eyes, and the refrain throughout the room is WHOA! LOOK HOW CHUBBY! And WHERE DID SHE GET THAT DIMPLE!
When Leta was born and they put her on my chest, my first thought was, "OH MY GOD I GAVE BIRTH TO MY HUSBAND."
When they put Marlo on my chest it was, "OH MY GOD I GAVE BIRTH TO MY FATHER."
I got to hold her there, newborn, for almost an hour, and I won't lie, even though she was cute, she could not distract me from the pain of having the placenta removed and being stitched up without any drugs. That part was hard, I mean, really, really tough. But...
But. Here's the big but. Once the stitching was done and they moved the bed so that I was sitting up, I guess the hormones kicked in, or maybe it was the sharp contrast of going from that amount of pain to none at all, but I was totally high. Like, ten lines of cocaine high. HIGH. And that feeling was so strong and lasted so long that for two days straight all I did was stare at that baby and fall madly, deeply, ferociously in love.
I did it. I totally did it. And I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to be able to have this experience, that nothing went wrong. That they didn't have to intervene. I know that. I know there was a lot of luck involved. I know how lucky I am.
But I'm also so damn proud of myself for conquering this challenge, for doing the work and having it pay off, and having lived through that kind of pain, having gone into that place inside Jon's palm, I now have a new perspective on life. Yes, on life. It's just changed everything, I can't deny it.
She changed everything.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Anonymous said:
YAY!
2. Beth said:
Thanks from a mother of two (31 and 28) born at a birthing center with the help from great midwives.
3. julie said:
beautiful story dooce! brought tears to my eyes. congrats to you all.
4. Veronica said:
Yay! I've been waiting for the ending.
That high is the best feeling ever. I gave birth to my son with no drugs (and in 90 minutes flat, it was terrifying) and the high lasted forever. It was better than anything else.
5. woodie said:
wow. still not sure i'd be up for it, but loving the honest account and feeling kinda weepy. what a lovely family!
6. Jenna Lis said:
What an amazing end to the story! Brought tears to my eyes :) Thank you for writing Marlo's birth story. She'll treasure this piece of writing... once she's done being embrassed about it!
7. Lauren said:
Dude, that was just beautiful. Congrats!!
8. Emilie Campbell said:
No words. No words. I don't think I can ever go through labor again. I wish I got that lovely blouse on sale though. P.S. Sleeping pills while PG? That was my nightly ritual.
9. mindi said:
That was amazing! Thank you for sharing that beautiful moment with all of us.
10. Anonymous said:
Cried.
11. Kristin said:
Wow...that was superhilarious and totally moving all at the same time...nice work!
12. Amber said:
With all you have been through, this makes for a fabulous happy ending (or rather beginning...). Yet another example of why you are #26, and a great mom to boot! Marlo is absolutely beautiful (as is Leta--as a mom of 2 I dare not leave anyone out!)--almost makes me want to have another...almost!
13. June said:
Dear Heather,
I love the part where you went deep, curled into Jon's palm. Beautiful writing as always, and I feel like I've just read the world's best, most exhilarating bedtime story.
Best of everything for your complete family and Chuck & Coco too!
14. misstraceynolan said:
She changed everything for you and I have a feeling that by sharing your story you changed everything for a lot of other woman out there...for us to get in touch with our womanhood and all that other gross shit. Thanks for that. For real.
15. Angie said:
Heather, oh my god - that was amazing. Expectant mums around the world should read your story. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
16. Kelly said:
Ok, I don't normally go all teary-eyed at posts, but that was wonderful. I was not only with you as you experienced that beautiful time, I was back in my own experience, falling in love all over again. Thank you.
17. Bee said:
This post made me TERRIFIED to go into labor and then all of the sudden I was wishing I could be pregnant RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
Amazing, and I can't tell you how happy I am that you had this experience. I don't think anyone else could share it in a way that made this much sense to me.
18. Marcelle said:
I am so, so, so happy for you and your family and the fact you had the experience that you wanted to!! If you visualize it, it will come (that's my motto, anyway). On to all the real fun stuff now.
19. Lorena said:
My god, you are amazing. Thank you, thank you.
20. V. said:
Beautiful, all of it. You are so lucky.
21. Anonymous said:
I am four months pregnant and you just scared the crap out of me, but it was so beautiful and I am crying having read this!
22. Sabrina said:
Damn. That was beautiful.
23. Megan said:
You are AMAZING! I used to think natural birthers were totally crazy-pants, but I will now research and consider it when it comes time for me. Really, truly... thanks for sharing that story.
24. Mary Jane said:
I think I just had a baby! LOL...Thank you for sharing that life experience with us. Laughter through tears...
25. Tiffany said:
Amazing! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
26. Anna K. said:
I'm 7 months pregnant and I bawled through all three parts of this. I want what you had.
Thank you.
Anna
27. Anne said:
Thank you for sharing your story- it was beautiful, and honest. Congratulations!!!
28. the flying quiche said:
Well that just makes me tingley all over.
Amazing.
29. Court said:
This is why we love you.
30. Devon said:
Heather - I just LOVE you! Of all the posts you've written, I think this is my favorite. Congratulations again, dude: You are a ROCKSTAR.
31. Brooke said:
dooce, I don't even know what to say. YOU ROCK in more ways than a million. Twenty fucking six. And you deserve it. Your writing is brilliant, your humor is spot on, your passion is affecting. That's a word, right?
Thank you. Thank. YOU.
32. Alison said:
This story inspired me and terrified me at the same time. my first (and only) labor was fully medicated and I still vividly remember the moments of pain before the meds. Good on you, you have definitely made me think about how I want the next one to go. Marlo is gorgeous, by the way.
33. Carrie said:
Yes, life changing. Some of us are lucky enough to understand exactly what you mean. It is a mitzvah. Congrats!
34. No.17 Cherry Tree Lane said:
Dooce,
Im sitting here crying, while my daughter eats her green beans. Crying out of jealousy that I haven't experianced this, and crying out of happiness for you.
Congratulations,
Rachel
35. Anya said:
What a beautiful story, Heather! And even though I'm not planning on having a second baby for a couple of years yet, it made me think of possibly, maybe, trying for a natural birth. That is, if my midwives let me have one after the C-section.
Congratulations, it's inspiring.
36. Kristen said:
I'm the mother of 2 children, both born by C-Section. I applaud you... You were lucky but also amazingly strong!! Your story is so important for ALL women anticipating birth of any kind. Do your research, and know your options. I wish I had! Well done Dooce!
37. Courtney said:
Wonderful. I had my 3 babies with no drugs and it was transformative, transcendental, spiritual and made me feel connected to all women throughout time. I'm kind of embarassed to write that, but it's true. I'm proud of you. Enjoy that beautiful baby!
38. Annie said:
Amazing story, I have goose bumps. My sister had a natural birth for her daughter and she was totally high like you are describing. I have picture of her right after the birth and you'd think her husband was the one who delivered a baby haha.
I love Marlo, she's so, so adorable and I love the picture where she's on the weighting scale.
Congratulations again.
39. Kate said:
For the first time in my life I am considering natural childbirth. Thank you for the beautiful story.
40. Kelly said:
Thank you Heather, this is wonderful, every detail, I was sitting laughing out loud and grinning like a fool reading it. Marlo is such a cutie pie, you all are rockstars. You know what you said about the HIGH? I had emergency C-sections for my daughter and subsequent twins, and the heavy fog of drugs days after made me feel very removed from the experience. I think the method they came into this world, for me anyway, made it a little harder to connect with them and the significance and joyfulness of it all. I struggled with the feeling of failure after the first Section (I know, insane, but was fuel for post-partum at the time) and with the second section for twins it was less frantic and hellish but still took a bit of time to warm up to the two sets of eyes looking up at me from both boobs. Take care, hugs to you, Jon and Leta and an OMNOMNOMNOM to those cheeks of Marlo's.
41. Melissa said:
OMG! I was laughing, crying, holding my breath while reading through your contractions and at the end I cried like a baby at her smile. Now I'm a big ball of emotional sludge. Thanks for that. You are so amazing.
42. Anonymous said:
Ahhh - So beautiful - I'm so happy to be able to read the end/beginning of your journey with Marlo. My sweet boy is eight and a half months old and your story brought back so many wonderful memories of his birth (which went terribly but hey - he's here and he's healthy!) Congrats to you and your family and all the best for the future!
43. Anonymous said:
Long time reader, first time commenter. Perfect ending to a great story. Thank you so much for sharing :) Your little ones are beautiful.
44. Lala said:
I'm not even done reading but I had to stop to say I love you...in that non-threatening, I'm far away, internet kind of way.
also my captcha words are "times beagle"
45. Kathleen said:
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I did drug-free too and you just transported me back 14 years to that magical (yes, gag, but it's the right word) night. I've never felt more connected to my body and *life* as I did during those 5 hours.
Thank you for sharing that.
46. Nette said:
OMG, thank you for writing this. I've not been able to write my labor these 9 and a half months, and our experiences were different (duh!), but you are amazing, and thank you. Thank you. Can you feel the big kisses coming to you from Santa Cruz? MWAH!
<3, Alma's mommy
47. Jessica said:
Fantastic. I loved reading this, and it was so nice to finally have someone describe the experience of labor in such a concrete way. So concrete, in fact, that it makes me even happier that my daughter was born by C-section. Phew! Good for you, though... you are a true warrior.
48. Elisabeth said:
Thank you for sharing your story! Brought tears to my eyes and helped me re-live the births of my two beautiful girls!
49. Danielle said:
Thank you for sharing your birthing story with us. I had my first son on 6/1, and what I've realized is that while every birth is unique, every single one is an accomplishment.
I had to be induced, and the Pitocin contractions were more than I could take. We ended up having an emergency c-section anyway. But I made it through it and rolled out of that hospital holding Marley feeling like I could take over the world, just as soon as I could stand up straight.
Congratulations again to the 4 of you. I love following your journey through life!
50. Terry said:
I laughed, I cried... seriously. This is some spectacular writing. Just... spectacular.
51. Elizabeth said:
Delurking to say that was amazing! I was laughing and crying at the same time. I can never describe what my (natural birth) experience was like to people, and from this point forward I'm just sending them here. =)
52. Natasha said:
I was due June 18th with our first child, but our little girl came 5 weeks early. I am the first of my girlfriends to have a baby even though we are all in our mid 30's. I have been waiting to read this post since my daughter was born. I had 13 hours of labour drug free, I didn't plan it that way, I actually wanted drugs lined up like shooters on a bar but I didn't work out that way. I have been trying to vocalize to my family, friends and most specifically my husband how it felt to accomplish labour drug free. You have done it for me! It was such a profound experience, thank you so much for putting words to all the emotions. Now I need to go find a drink and a tissue!
53. Alyssa said:
This post was like a mucus covered Lifetime movie. I laughed hysterically, shed a tear or two, and when I finished reading, I had a whole new appreciation for the true power of my fiancee's hairy arms. Thanks so much for sharing your incredible story!!
54. Becky said:
I actually had that car baby :) The stigma wears off after a while. And every time I hear about a birth and think about the details of Owen's birth, I feel like a rock star all over again.
Way to go!
http://www.clearlydelirious.com/archives/2008/03/finally_the_bir.html
55. Ty said:
Amazingly, awesomely, wonderful. Makes me want to have another baby...
56. Nicole said:
I still have birth regret. I also studied, went to a midwife, hired a doula who specialized in hypnobirthing, did visual exercises for months, and meditated. I was dilated to a three about eight weeks before I gave birth, and was having contractions, so I really thought I was prepared. I had even had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, and went through that naturally. But when my water broke, I lost all of my courage and gave into the pain. My doula did a great job of not making me feel like I failed, but I still think I wussed out. I am so jealous of your story, but am very happy for you. Maybe next time for me.
57. Amanda said:
Heather, this has been such a beautiful story, and I feel very privileged that you've chosen to share it with us. Thank you so much for letting us all in on this.
58. Tatiana said:
Once the stitching was done and they moved the bed so that I was sitting up, I guess the hormones kicked in, or maybe it was the sharp contrast of going from that amount of pain to none at all, but I was totally high. Like, ten lines of cocaine high. HIGH.
**
I had a natural childbirth and I absolutely know what you mean by this. I experienced it too. It's amazing and beautiful -- and so are you & your family.
59. Dominique said:
Great story!
I wonder- would you do it again the same way?
60. Cathy said:
thanks for sharing your story. i love your honesty about all of it. the idea of natural childbirth is amazing and a bit terrifying to me.
61. Elle said:
She's so beautiful. You are a brave, brave woman. Congrats.
62. adrienne said:
I'm 24 weeks preggo with my first, and planning on doing it natural. Thanks for the inspiration...
I'll see if I can borrow my husband's palm for awhile too.
63. KimPossible said:
AMAZING, just freaking amazing! You are right that you were lucky but you were also strong beyond measure.
I laughed, I cried, and I must be crazy myself because I am actually considering REALLY REALLY trying for a natural birth if I am lucky enough to get knocked up again! I wanted to last time around but pretty much everyone, including my doc and the nurses and my hubby, told me I should get the epidural (and I quote "why go through all that pain if you don't have to??") and so I gave in around 5 cms. I was glad I did at the time but your story certainly opened my eyes to the beauty and awesomeness of going the distance without any drugs. Wow!
64. Labradoris said:
That was AHHHH-MAZING! Thank you for the beautiful thrill-ride.
65. Dorie said:
Reading that almost wanted me to go through natural labor all over again. I actually loved birthing my two sons. I'm pretty athletic and as a Kinesiology/Women's Studies Ph.D. I was all "I am woman" about the whole thing. I too did lots of women's health movement-type reading before my first labor. Of course, I don't think my labors were all that painful when comparing notes to other women, but one was terribly long.
I liken my labor experience to the physical pain and high of running a marathon, except you get a baby at the end. How awesome is that? A feeling like no other.
Thank you so much for sharing. So happy for you that you got to have such a transformative labor experince. And Marlo, OMG that is one beautiful baby with a kick-ass name.
66. Tamisha said:
I'm 16 days away from my due date and fully intend to try it naturally. I was both terrified and inspired by your story... I hope I have half the strength you had when it's my turn!
Thank you!
67. Deva said:
Heather, this is so beautiful and poignant and funny - it's like reading a hug. You are amazing for sharing this with us, thank you.
68. jjinmia said:
As a former labor & delivery nurse I must say you have captured the roller coaster ride of childbirth in the most eloquent and concise prose I have ever read on the matter. If anyone ever asks me again what birth is like I will direct them here. Unless, of course, they are Reagan Republican Depression babies like my parents, I will tell them that the stork works in miraculous ways. UGOGURL!
69. Meghan said:
Congratulations 26!! Thank you so much for Part III. I am due in 3 weeks and I really needed this - a healthy dose of reality and inspiration.
70. kangaroo said:
thank you, heather.
i have resisted the urge to become a daily reader of your blog for many many moons. everyone's doing it, she's so fabulous, blah blah blah. but then my worlds collided, and my birth advocacy world started talking about your fabulous birth story, and i found myself reading parts one and two over and over again...i just couldn't help myself. now here's something nauseating, but i think my heart skipped a beat when i saw part three in my google reader tonight.
i am so glad you were able to experience IT.
i can only be hopeful for what this means to american birth culture, which is currently very f***ed up.
and i'm a dooce-ite now, thank you very much.
71. Daffodil Campbell said:
As someone who had the most shit-tastic birth experience, with all sorts of unwanted and unneeded intervention, who found herself completely alone during the end of her labor, frantially pushin buttons and screaming "THE FUCKING HEAD IS COMING OUT WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE?" I am truly thrilled for you.
And maybe, just a teeny bit jealous.
You go with your bad self.
72. Christie said:
Gorgeous! The story - the baby girl - all of it. Thank you for sharing it with us. Though your story is yours and Marlo's and not mine it echoed my own in so many ways. As a Mom to three (the last born at home three months ago), I can say, with you, that the pain of childbirth is ferocious and glorious and life changing and . . . totally worthwhile.
73. Lala said:
now I'm done. Beauty!
74. Amy J said:
I'm totally not an emotional person, but that is a wonderful beautiful birth story, and I actually felt one of my eyes tingle. It's really a moment for me. Thank you for sharing all the gory and womanly details.
75. Cindy said:
You have every right to be proud of yourself. Thank you for sharing your story, and your life. Congratulations.
76. Jeanine said:
De-lurking to say, first of all, beautiful story.
But also, I really have mixed feelings about birth stories. I don't know one single mother who, having been through some kind of medicated childbirth herself, reads a story like this and doesn't feel inadequate and shamed.
You absolutely are a dear to share your story, and it means a lot to people to read, obviously. I just wish there was a way to do this without making other moms, whose circumstances were different, not feel like they have lost out on something.
Because any way it happens, childbirth is a miracle, and no one should feel inadequate about how they brought their baby into the world.
77. Leslie in Toronto said:
I went from crying in laughter to just plain crying. I agree with Blurb (via Twitter) - best thing you have ever written.
78. Noelle said:
Wow - Just wow...I read that on the edge of my seat...really..like holding my breath till it was over. Wow.
79. Jayme June said:
You should be #1. This was amazing - and I'm so proud of you. Welcome, Marlo.
80. Tricia said:
Oh, I cried! What a beautiful, wonderful, amazing experience! Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing such a personal moment with all of us. This post, for me, really evokes the overwhelming pain, beauty and utter miracle of having a child. No need to sugar-coat the hard parts, because in the end, nothing matters but that new little life.....
You are amazing. Congratulations again on both of your lovely girls.
81. Kristan said:
Wow.
Um, I'm proud of you too, and SO happy that you loved this experience... But I have to admit, your story (and constant use of the word PAIN) only solidifies my desire to have drugs help me through. Lol.
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful, personal life experience with all of us.
82. Cyndi said:
Wow, beautiful and bittersweet for me. I adopted my beautiful children and while I'm convinced that's the way it was meant to be, I missed out on the experience of giving them life. Thanks for letting me live it vicariously.
83. Barstool Babe said:
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. And the perfect picture at the end for an exclamation point.
84. Laura said:
Absolutely fabulous! I'm quite proud of you, Heather! And I would like to sincerely thank you for allowing me...all of us...to go with you on this journey. I've truly enjoyed every bit of it! You kick ass, Number Twenty Six.
85. Joeythegirl said:
I'm still crying. Beautiful. Magnificent. Thank you for sharing!
86. hmv003 said:
That was so beautiful. Personally, I dream of the day that I find my "Jon" and the palm of his hand is the safest and most comforting place to be. And to deliver a beautiful baby girl, and have it change your life in so many more ways than one? You're living the dream, Dooce... living the dream.
Congrats to you and your lovely family.
87. Emily said:
one of the most beautiful pieces i have ever read.
thank you.
88. Jeen-Marie said:
Bravo!
I never thought I would make it through labor. I kept thinking it couldn't get any worse... Well, it did. But after the 'challege', I have a beautiful baby boy. I never wanted a natural childbirth. I survived a really bad parachuting accident. I had nothing to prove by experiancing pain. Been there, done that.
After reading your post, I probably would have changed my mind. Thank you for sharing your experiance.
PS Your family is beautiful!
89. Lara said:
Heather, Jon was right. This may be the best thing you've written (thus far).
I delivered my first two children naturally, and you've put into words everything that was written on my heart.
The part about a cocaine high was more like my last two births, thanks to epidurals, but I wouldn't trade the experience of knowing the fierceness my body contains for anything in the world.
That's right. I said fierce.
90. Life from the Roof said:
Glad to read your story. I did my first birth drug-free too, but didn't realize I was in active labor until I got to the hospital and was fully dilated (I had contractions, but I just kept telling myself it was false labor). Still had to push for 3 hours, though. Hopefully it will be easier with this next one. I stayed up all night after the birth too - was totally awake and joking around, even as they delivered the placenta and stitched me up (but I had Lidocaine).
91. lexia said:
I am so proud of you too! way to go heather! what an amazing conclusion to your labor story. i can only hope my next delivery goes as smoothly!
92. Brittany at Mommy Words said:
Wow! I am proud of you even though you don't know me! I almost did it...but not quite.
I was 6 centimeters dialted with my 2nd and I thought I was dying. Literally dying. ANd I started puking. So I could not breathe and I asked for an epidural. The nurse did not check me before the drug doctor came 30 minutes later. I lay perfectly still through the most excruciating pain of my life while I thought he was fixing it. He then asked about my pain level diminishing and I thought I would take his head off. He gave the nurse a look. I saw it. She had fucked up. She pushed a button and the doctor came in. I was actually near death I swear and thought I could feel the baby. Seriously. And the doctor peeled my head off a very similar bed bar and had my husband roll me onto my back and said "the baby is coming now. He is actually already coming. Next breath you should actually push." I did and I got to meet Miles. Lucky me they were so late with the epidural I don't think Miles was damaged by the drugs. 5 minutes later the epidural started working...so I did not get to feel the placenta or the stiches. Maybe I will with this one coming in January. I will just think about that euphora after you mentioned and focus on it.
You are a rock star! I love your writing and this post is just great! No worries on all the vagina talk! WHat should one expect from a birth story?
93. Joy said:
Bravo! Beautiful story and beautiful baby. Congrats to all!
94. Nat W. said:
Great conclusion. Awesome soundtrack. Precious baby.
95. Mena said:
Absolutely amazing!! I cried, I laughed and now I just want to hug you! You are my hero! I can't wait to have another baby!!!
96. April said:
What an amazing story!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story.
97. Jeannette said:
Beautiful story. I loved reading it. Thanks for sharing. I admire you. I requested my epidurals in the hospital parking lot. :)
98. Diane said:
That was absolutely beautiful. My husband and I have been struggling with fertility difficulties for years-which has, at times, made it difficult for me to read your pregnancy story. This birth story, though, was amazing-touching and beautiful and funny. I have always hoped that I would be able to give birth naturally, if my pregnancy is going to happen, and I've heard so many negative opinions on my hope. Your story gives me faith that I, too, will be able to have this beautiful experience.
99. Dana said:
I'm just wondering if you were stitched up without any local anesthesia????
100. Meredith said:
Thank you so much for allowing all of us to go through this amazing experience with you. You are awesome Heather!
101. eileen said:
Yep. That was almost exactly the way it happened for me, both times, giving birth to 9-pound boys. I think athletes call it the endorphin rush. My sister had a drug-free birth with her last of three children and that was the only time she experienced The High. My midwife labored for three days before birthing her daughter and said she felt so good afterward she could have bench-pressed her Volkswagen. Post-pain endorphin rush: There's simply no other way to get it.
102. Dawn said:
I adore you. Many congrats again, #26 and family!
103. Miss Lola said:
that my dear, was beautiful. well done!
104. Lynne Berghoff said:
God bless you for all you are.I am so moved.
105. Cathy said:
Oh Heather, what a beautiful story! I am now nearly 7 days past my due date (planning a natural birth), looking for some kind of sign as to why this baby seems to be so happy to stay put...is he waiting for the full moon? Is he waiting for the dangling palm frond outside to finally fall off the tree? No! I'll bet he was just waiting for Part 3!!
106. Savanah said:
You gave birth to your own Paradise. Twice.
Amazing.
107. Leslie said:
I'm one of those women who had to be induced and ended up with a C-section after hours of hard, terrible labor. (Pitocin is no joke!) I'd say my birth experience was even traumatic, and two months later (our babies are only a few days apart!), I'm still not "over it."
I'd like to feel bitter about how you rocked your labor experience, but I really can't. Rather I only feel hopeful that my next experience can be just as wonderful as yours.
Thank you for sharing your story.
108. Ashley said:
This post made me laugh and get all teary eyed. I am so glad for you, a woman whom I have never met, to have such profound birth experience. For me, a woman with 2 c-sections (and 2 beautiful & lovely daughters as a result of them), it is stories like these that help give me a piece of what I feel I missed out on and a feeling of even though it didn't work for me, I am so proud and happy that it did for someone else.
109. Ev said:
Heather, Thank you. For doing it and for relating it so superbly. Bless you all.
110. Barbara said:
Crying here. I feel like I did the day I had my first daughter, over 24 years ago. Thank you, Heather.
111. Jill Put Up A Blog said:
OMG, I am terrified. But what a great story, thank you so much for sharing all of this! So happy for you guys=)
112. Deja said:
I'm a lurker, a very faithful lurker.
And that made me weep.
113. Shan said:
This might have made me just a little teary eyed. Always thankful for you sharing your experiences with us.
114. irene said:
ALL I CAN SAY IS, WICKED AWESOME
115. ElleTark said:
Heather, you are amazing. That story made my eyes tear with joy and respect and happiness for you and your gorgeous family. I really appreciate your honesty and candor and THE PICTURES. Oh the beautiful pictures. You are an amazing person, and you are making the world a better place. Thank you. And I guess Jon is pretty rad too.
116. Tori said:
That was so beautiful. Thank you.
117. Beth said:
33Weeks here with number 4. I SO needed your writing today, this juicy bit of laughter and beauty and honesty.
And you have solidified my choice to have another epidural. I once went to eight (not by choice) and now I remember it. I remember the threat of homicide it took to get the damn drugs. And I sooo remember the blissful tea party that commences in my hospital room until it's time to push. I get the same high, the same sense of triumph and satisfaction with the epi. No need for me to be a spoil sport about it. And I SHO don't have time for all that inner reflection and meditation and talking to the baby about coming into the world if THAT'S the ticket to making it all work. (Oh wait, maybe I do. I bet I could use all the sleepless hours at night to do that)
I also realize that my birth photographers have been seriously slacking with the previous 3. Must get better pics of this one!
118. Sara Padrusch said:
Hon, this post is why you are number 26! I loved this story and as someone who also had natural child birth I know *exactly* what you mean. This story just warmed my heart and seriously, I want to eat that baby. Oh my god. That picture of her reaching up at you just killed me. Sigh...
119. A said:
I've never in my life wanted to have children of my own... until now.
120. amy said:
I am only sorry that my years of giving birth are over; if they were not you had totally inspired me to give it a try without drugs. Wow, just wow.
121. Karen said:
That was a perfect story - so beautiful and real. You are an inspiration.
122. Anonymous said:
I agree with #76. I love your story, I really do -- and you have every right to tell it (it's your blog, after all). But. I find myself a bit on the defensive side of things, having had twins via C-Section (not much of an option there, or at least not one I would have considered) and really just wanting to believe that every single live birth (medicated/surgical/natural/etc.) is magical in its own way. And the labors that do not end in a live birth, well, those are magical, too, in a very different way. I am so happy for you and your family and for Marlo - to have a healthy, full-term baby is a miracle unto itself. Congratulations!
123. Chelley said:
Holy shit you are brave! I love how you don't sugar coat anything even while being a total badass. Congratulations - she is beautiful!
124. Michele said:
You are a rock star!!!
125. kayla said:
And I'm officially terrified. You are a riot and I give you props for conquering the natural birth!
126. Jessica said:
Made me well up, Heather. I'm so happy for you and your family.
You rock.
127. Lisa said:
Wonder-fucking-ful. Atta girl, 26.
128. Ejly said:
Amazing story. Simply wonderful. My first born was an intervention filled c-section birth and I worked hard to have a normal labor the second time and it was worth it. I'm glad it was worth it for you too. And thanks for giving me a story I can refer other moms to when they want to know why to bother having a natural delivery.
Marlo is a beauty, even if she does look like your father. He would have made a beautiful girl.
129. karen l said:
Woo-hoo! You are amazing!
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us.
130. alison said:
Amazing and inspiring. I was laughing and crying simultaneously, and couldn't even explain my condition to my boyfriend, without more of the same! Nothing but happy thoughts for you and your family...you all make my day, every day.
131. Maggie Bello said:
Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing so eloquently.
132. Bren said:
That made me laugh (a lot) and cry. That was probably the best birth story I have ever read. Truly wonderful!
133. Shannon said:
What a wonderful story. Every bit. Thanks for not sugar coating the pain and being brutally honest. Your honesty is always so refreshing. Such a strong begining for a wonderful little life. The pictures are fab-u-lous.
Thank you, Thank you.
134. BertM said:
What a lovely story! Thank you for sharing this. I'm exactly three months from the due date of my first child, and reading this gives me real strength. Thank you!
135. Krys said:
I was waiting for part 3, not able to imagine it being even better than parts 1 and 2, but you did it, Heather. You topped yourself!
This was a beautiful story, and I don't know if your blog will be available forever but one thing is for sure, when Marlo is old enough to read this and appreciate it for the love story it is, you need to make sure she reads it.
Because SHE will "fall madly, deeply, ferociously in love" with her mom (even if she is in the middle of her horrible teen years!).
136. Diane said:
Such beautiful words that took me from laughter to tears. You are an inspiration! Thanks for sharing. :)
137. Drew said:
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
138. HollieB said:
Awwwww! Congratulations! What a beautiful story!
139. liz said:
And now I'm crying and laughing. What a beautiful story.
140. Wendy said:
Wow - what an amazing story. I admire you - don't think I could have done it. I have an only child, but this story kind sorta makes me want to do it again...no, that was just a fleeting thought...ignore me.
She really is the most adorable newborn - that dimple is to die for.
141. Kerri said:
Heather - Thank you so much for sharing this! This is what women need to hear. We are strong. We can do it. It is the most amazing experience... Thank you and congratulations! Marlo is gorgeous!
142. Jennifer said:
I'm sitting on the couch next to my husband and laughing out loud. I'm trying to make him understand, reading the best parts (Hello, do you like my blouse and No seriously I got this blouse on sale to Snakes on a Plane!) outloud. He doesn't get it.
You are fantastic. This is a beautiful story and you have a beautiful family! Congratulations!!
143. Kim said:
You are so fucking awesome!
144. Carrie @ Who Knew? said:
Wow, that's so similar to my experience it's a little weird. Right down to the water thing. My sister (who was kinda my doula) kept saying to imagine the pain as water flowing over me and it was her that I kind of escaped into during the hard parts.
I delivered at a birthing center with a lot of my friends and family in the room with me and it was just an amazing experience. To have all those people there with me and helping me and. . . I don't know. It was amazing.
Congratulations on your little one.
145. Elizabeth said:
I don't comment often, but having had my own natural births, I am so happy that you got to experience that cocaine high. It's so fantastic, isn't it?
146. jane said:
that was a gorgeous way of telling it, and it totally made me tear up and want to have another baby RIGHT NOW.
147. Kristine said:
Heather,
This is a most beautiful story and one that I thank you for sharing with the internet world. While I don't have kids (but so desperately want a husband & some little ones in the future), I now have a complete and new found deeper love, respect and admiration for my mom who birthed my 2 sisters and I all natural. Wow! Thank you for the insight. Marlo is simply gorgeous in so many different ways.
148. Christina said:
That is the most beautiful story I've ever heard. I am bawling in my dinner right now. Thank you so much for sharing.
149. Anonymous said:
just awesome Heather. I am so glad you got to experience this. Really it is so transforming.
150. lori (aka:marzi) said:
what a beautiful, amazing story. thanks for sharing.
oh, and i was 22 days late! due sept 1st, born sept 23rd! my poor, poor, mother!
151. emily said:
Oh my God I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face- your birth story was SO similar to mine, and I am extra-emotional about it because it occurred exactly one year ago tomorrow. That and I am sleep deprived because my son decided to get croup for an early 1st birthday present. But anyway, I know EXACTLY what you mean about the lawn ornament, and the curling up in a ball in your husband's palm, and the never-ending yet amazingly quick pushing, and the stiching up without pain meds, and EVERYTHING. I loved my natual childbirth experience and I am so happy for you. Excellent timing for posting too.
152. Ashley said:
My fiance has always made fun of me for reading your blog. He always said things like, "Are you on dooce.com again? You love dooce!" Tonight was the first night I actually read your entire post to him, with voices and all. At the end of your story my fiance looked at me and said, "Let's have a baby!". Thank you, Heather for always being so real. I am so happy for you and your beautiful family. They are extremely lucky too.
153. Erin said:
What a GREAT story! Glad you broke it out into three parts...way to go with the suspenseful cliffhangers. The pics were a nice accompaniment for visuals here, too.
Congrats again!
154. Maggie May said:
Doooooooooce! ( this is like the Boss' call out but for ya )
Great story, great job opening yourself up ( literally ) to a new way of birthing. I had my Lola Moon in a tub in a birthing center without any drugs or interfering, and it was fucking amazing- ly painful! but also amazing. When I had Dakota in the hospital the nurses sucked, but I know some hospitals/nurses are bad and some are good, just like anything.
155. Marnie said:
Heather, that was so worth the wait...although I'm about ankle-deep into the Dooce archives because of it.
That hairy arm? I have one of my own. During labor with my first, I had such a grip on my poor husband's hand he finally had to switch sides and I'm all, "Where the hell do you think you're going!" He's like, "You dug my ring into my hand!" Seriously? SERIOUSLY???? At least he had enough forethought to leave the wedding ring at home the second time around.
Thanks for the laughs and tears!
156. Christina (#148) said:
I just started reading other comments after I wrote mine, and beautiful is used a lot. It was just the perfect word to describe this story and I am glad I was not the only one who feels that way.
157. Lorna said:
Until your story, EXQUISITELY told in your freaking amazing style and the sweet photos, I'd forgotten how I ever gave birth to four kids. You, my friend, are awesome. You gave me goosebumps. And congratulations on a job well done. She's gorgeous.
158. Anonymous said:
I know that high, twice over! There is nothing like it. So glad you got the birth you wanted and worked so hard for. She is beautiful.
Congratulations, and thank you for sharing your experience.
159. Tehmi said:
I'm sitting in my kitchen crying while reading this, I'm 14 weeks pregnant and can't stop puking every instestine I have out of my body. This gives me such light at the end. Thank you so much for writing this, you are brillant.
160. Hayley said:
Best birth story ever. EVER.
Thank you.
161. Erin said:
Yeah that just kicked my ass. That was awesome.
Totally worth the wait. Awesome.
162. Anonymous said:
Beautiful story. Beautiful pictures. Beautiful mother and baby!
I too gave birth outside of a hospital without drugs. That high you're talking about is for real! The first time I think I didn't sleep for two days straight (not smart). The second time it was still there, but I made sure to find a way to sleep!
Thanks for telling your story. Telling birth stories openly and often is, I think, one way we can help other women believe (again) that they too can do what you did.
-Vanessa
163. ZDub said:
You nailed it.
Great story.
Yay Marlo!
164. julie said:
Great story, fantastic storyteller. All the best to you and your beautiful family.
165. Leslie Sierra said:
After reading this, I think 26 is way too low on the list. Your best writing yet. This may be on the required reading list for my sons, one day.
166. spelhouseLove said:
I just wrote my son's birthstory as well: http://spelhouselove.com/2009/08/04/joshuas-birthstory/. Thank you for sharing Marlos.
167. Kat said:
Heather,
Any words I could say are insignificant and puny compared to what you've shared with us. But thank you. Not only for this, but for inviting us all to embark on a wonderful journey with you and your family every day.
Always,
Kat
168. Jennifer McGuire said:
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Even the cursing parts. Thanks you for sharing it.
169. Heather said:
Thank you SO much for this. You are so amazing. I've been trying to convince myself that this is what I want to do when I have a baby. I've been reading as many stories as I can about it all. So thank you for yours.
I hope that you'll write about co-sleeping at some point too.
170. Anonymous said:
What a great account of your experience. I love birth stories. Having gone med-free I could identify with parts of it like retreating inside of yourself, letting contractions wash over and the high afterwards. It's a very satisfying thing to go through.
171. Angela said:
Heather -
Thank you for sharing your story. I have tears in my eyes as I hold my little one and remember back to the day she took my heart. Never did I understand love like I do now.
Thank you,
Angela
172. Meganithappen said:
Long time follower, Dooce. You effing rock. Totally inspiring. Thanks for taking us along for the ride, mucus plug and all.
173. Carrie said:
What a great, GREAT birth story. I had the best natural birth myself just 3 weeks ago -- I was luckier than you in that my baby came more quickly and more easily, except for the pushing.
Yeah, my mom told me that she was so glad when she got to push and it felt great. It was hell to me. I pushed 3 hours with my first, 90 minutes with my second, and half an hour with my last little guy, asleep in the sling as I type this. Hands down, worst 5 hours of my life.
174. Anonymous said:
The husband and daughter are looking at me like I've lost my fucking mind. I am full-on ugly crying - crying at the humor and beauty of this story, and for the gift of motherhood. Heather, thank you! Thank you for making me grateful for being a woman!
175. kelcut said:
Best.Freaking.Birth Story. EVER.
Thanks for sharing this with your readers. I have never laughed so hard and teared up at the same time. The toe story totally killed me.
176. Kristy Merrill said:
Oh my God Heather, thank you for sharing that birth story! I felt like I was right there with you. I so wanted to have a natural birth with both my babies, but ended up with an epidural both times. I'm really going to prepare for number 3!!!
I posted my birth story as my first post on my blog. I love reading other women's stories, and am proud to share my own.
Thanks again. You are woman - you are Dooce - you are twentyfuckingsix!!!
177. Jen said:
Beautiful. And congrats :)
178. Debbie said:
Thank you.
179. famousamy said:
Thank you for something so beautiful, joyous, humorous and inspiring. You're much higher than 26 in my book.
180. TJ said:
Wait, you have meds that allow you to think of your daughter's sleep schedule while having contractions? I WANT THOSE MEDS! Sure, I'm single and with no kids, but if I could focus on stuff I'm supposed to be doing (like cleaning up my apartment or doing my college work) instead of whether or not I DVR'd that last episode of the Real World, I might actually get something done!
Beautiful, beautiful story. A little scared to have kids in the future, but, hey, maybe I'll one day be in labor and think of this story and curse my rationalization.
181. Karen said:
i felt like i should read this entry out loud in order to really get the full effect, so I did. I laughed several times and felt truly touched at the end. you made a great case for natural childbirth, what fantastic writing! Congrats to you and Jon, Leta the amazing big sister and Marlo the adorable!
twenty six DAMN RIGHT.
182. Clarabella said:
I did opt for the drugs during my labor & delivery, but I didn't get them for a long time, and therefore the contractions were one on top of the other for hours. And I think I know what you mean about crawling into Jon's palm, because I wedged myself into the far upper corner of my hospital room and the only thing I could think about was breathing. I spent over an hour that way and thought it was maybe 15 minutes. It's amazing what our minds can get us through to cope, huh?
183. Nancy A. said:
Thank you for sharing your wonderful and amazing story. I had two, drug-free childbirth experiences - each time it was as you described - amazing, painful, incredible and a blessing that my babies (now 13 and almost 10) were healthy.
184. Cindi said:
After hearing that you gave birth to Marlo naturally - I started thinking, hey, I could do that someday! But after reading about it - NO WAY IN HELL I'm doing that - EVER! However, I have complete respect for you to survive the pain and loved hearing your story. And I loved the part about Jon's palm. LOVED. Congrats. She is beautiful!
185. steph said:
I agree, it is the most amazing thing I have ever done in my whole life - twice. Congrats to you!
186. gutsandgrace said:
thanks for that, reminded me why i'm so adamant on a natural birth for my second child. you are a birthing rock star momma.
187. Anonymous said:
THANK. YOU.
Beautifully and uniquely written. My guess is this will up you to number fifteen, at least.
188. Nadine said:
My youngest child is seven, but your story is SO close to mine that the memories came flooding back. I burst into tears when you arrived at the hospital and cried uncontrollably right through the rest of the story . . (I'm OK. Just need a tissue. You?)
189. Francesca said:
Beautiful, amazing story - congratulations for Marlo and congratulations for a perfectly written piece! Thanks so much for sharing. Hugs from the internet :-)
190. Diapers and Divas said:
As crazy and creepy as this sounds.....That was the best story i've heard in a long time.
191. melissa said:
that was beautiful heather...
beautiful...
you are an inspiration, you seriously have me thinking about going natural, i'll let you know how that works out in 20 weeks.
192. kcmo said:
Yeah, it may be nice for you to write once in a while, since that's why you make a fucking fortune! As for those of us who read what you write; You're welcome!
193. NaysWay said:
I so love your writing. I knew the story would be beautiful, but the brutal honesty and humor? I am still laughing at the snakes on the plane. Thanks for the experience in the way only you can tell it.
194. Courtney said:
Wow. Amazing story. I LOVE reading your writing, and I have been looking forward to part 3 for the LONGEST time!! Congrats again on Marlo and your amazing experience.
195. Lisa said:
Wow. Oh wow. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing about this.
196. Vaile said:
Heather, wow. I am so blown away, I've been reading your blog for the better part of the year (going through the back entries really made the last few weeks of university sail!), and think you're an all around total awesome human.
When I found out I was pregnant in March I didn't really put a lot of thought into how I would have the baby. Most of my thoughts were along the "ew gross" variety. Since you began telling your story I've done a lot of thinking and a lot of research. The first part of your labor story really really inspired me, and the subsequent pieces of it have only added to that.
I just wanted to give you a shout and tell you that I think what you've done is awesome, and to thank you for sharing it with the wondernets, cause it has really had a positive impact on me personally and I'm sure a gazillion other women as well. Way to go for making informed decisions about your body and your baby!
Also, I like your new hairs!
197. Laurie said:
In tears....sniff....snort...snot....So very touching
198. Laura said:
You know, I don't normally bother commenting, though I read every post, because I imagine it just gets lost in the mess of posts. But this story really touched me, and by the end I was teary. Congratulations to you and Jon on another healthy, happy and gorgeous baby girl. She's already looking so sweet and so cute, I'm sure everyone is ready to watch her grow into such a cute girl like they did Leta.
Good luck and best of health to you and baby. :)
199. Carolyn Roy said:
I have loved each installment of this story. I have two kids and with the first I had drugs, but with the second it was all natural. I'll take the natural delivery again any day. Well, that is if I were to have more kids. Which I'm not. Two is plenty for me :)
200. Anonymous said:
Dude...192...lay off.
201. Songshiner said:
My husband doesn't get it either, but OH MY DAMN. Thank you for admitting that it hurts like hell, even though it's blissful and awesome. I'm tired of reading about natural birth as if it is all flowers and rainbows and dew drops . . . May I survive the pain in three (taking forever to pass, could they be moving any slower??) months.
202. Suzanne said:
Wonderful. Beautiful. Beyond words. Thank you for sharing this incredible story!
203. Jo said:
I'm due in October with my first and planning a homebirth in NYC. I've been eagerly anticipating your birth story finale and I wasn't disappointed. Thanks for giving medication-free birth such an honest, inspiring voice!
204. sparkyd said:
Beautifully written. Loved it. A huge high-five for making it through the pain. I almost cried at the part where you disappeared into Jon's hand; you guys are so lucky to have each other. I had to suppress my laughter as much as possible at many of the other parts, given that I ended up with an emergency c-section 2.5 weeks ago (not what I had in mind, but the pediatric cardiologist we are seeing tomorrow may help shed some light on whether it was truly necessary) and laughing that hard is just not a good thing at the moment. I'll have to read again in a few weeks to allow my self the appropriate level of laughter.
Love the last picture of Marlo.
205. Liz M. said:
Thank you, Heather, for sharing your wonderful story. You are quite the woman in so many ways...maternal to the core, humorous and now Viking Woman of Birthing!
206. Janine said:
Awesome story. I heard about your website when you were on Oprah and I have been hooked ever since. I had 3 children without any meds and I totally agree it is a complete life changing experience. I wouldn't have done it any other way. Congrats to you and your family.
207. phylly3 said:
Oh, those adorable dimples. Thanks for parts 1,2 and 3.
208. Tara H2 said:
After I discovered this site, my husband bugged me that 'Dooce' was my new best friend and this post is another reason why. I just had to go to my bedroom for a big cry because I was reliving the beautiful births of my 3 kids -- a singleton and then twins -- all natural, and all amazing.
I'm so glad you explored the options that are out there, Heather, and used your undeniable influence to share those options with all your readers. Not everyone has the chance to go the natural route, the safety of the child & mother of course come first, but natural is possible, even with twins.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm almost sad I won't go through that moment of holding my newborn child for the first time -- although I definitely don't want another baby! Now that's good writing...
209. nobody said:
Well done.
210. phylly3 said:
Oh, those adorable dimples. Thanks for parts 1,2 and 3.
211. Suzy said:
26, I think you just gave birth to 22.
212. Allison said:
Totally, totally awesome.
213. Liz said:
Wonderful! Congratulations! I've been following your blog for a few months. My baby daughter was born 3 days before yours, and I've gone through all the changes with you except....
I pushed for an hour. An hour. AN HOUR. Yes.
(My daughter is perfect.)
214. Anonymous said:
Thank you, I don't have kids but I am "of the age" and childbirth freaks me and most of my friends out. It still sounds frightening, but beautiful too. I will strive for what you (and my mom) did some day.
215. Shaun said:
I am laughing and crying at the same time. Thank you so much for sharing this incredible journey with us. I am so proud of you and a little jealous. I wanted to have at least on of my three children without drugs but was not allowed due to previous surgery on my uterus. I actually went into labor with my second at the old Outback Steakhouse when it was by K-Mart.
Anyway, great job, and what a beautiful outcome.
Shaun
216. christelpistol said:
absolutely beautiful. i am so proud and amazed and think you should know how rich people's lives are by you writing about yours. thank you for sharing your adventure with us.
217. Laura Jones said:
That time warp thing? 6 cm at 4:55. 5:00 pushing. 5:05 8lb. 4 oz. baby. It felt like 45 minutes. All I remember was being incapable of saying what was in my head, "get that damned baby out!" Homebirth by the way. The midwife had twenty years experience. What does she remember? Me asking my husband to make it stop earlier in the evening. Him patting my back and me calming down.
Great story. Absolutely fabulous.
218. Sara said:
Thanks for making me laugh and cry. My husband and I delivered our first in the hospital with the assistance of the epidural. Our 2nd, 3rd, and 4th were all at home and completely drug free. You described the experience so perfectly and with such humor and honesty...I love it. Thanks for bringing back all of those memories.
219. Kathy said:
Amazing story. Simply amazing.
Also, right when you mentioned that you had Radiohead "In Rainbows" playing, I admit, I stopped reading, went to play that album on my iTunes and continued to finish the rest of the story. I get chills, Heather.
Congratulations!! I've never been more excited for complete strangers in my life.
220. Sara said:
Thanks for making me laugh and cry. My husband and I delivered our first in the hospital with the assistance of the epidural. Our 2nd, 3rd, and 4th were all at home and completely drug free. You described the experience so perfectly and with such humor and honesty...I love it. Thanks for bringing back all of those memories.
221. Christy said:
I laughed so hard I cried then wept until my soul smiled as I remembered my daughter's arrival. Absolutely beautiful and I thank you for sharing this. (Now, aren't you glad you took the sleeping pill??)
222. Sara said:
Ooops! Sorry! Must have hit the Post Comment button twice! :-)
223. amy j. said:
You totally and utterly rock Heather. You are so damn funny...and sound sometimes so like me it makes me really nervous.
You have a wonderful family, a great husband and beautiful children. I can't wait to hear more about how it all changes with Marlo on scene. I've been through it myself...one daughter and then two. Nothing is ever the same after either!
Love to you all. You made my eyes get all stingy with tears girl.
Radiohead? Really? My husband will like that.
224. Kate said:
Thank you for sharing your story with us, and congratulations on a beautiful child. For some reason I feel the need to tell you that I punched a fist in the air when I read that you listened to "In Rainbows" the whole time.
225. Mari said:
Wow, that really brought back memories!
226. Adriana said:
Oh my God, that is so so beautiful. I'm moved. Thanks for sharing, you are amazing. And congratulations. Lots of love for all of you
227. Courtney said:
That was a great story. I know you have tons of comments so may not get all of them. But it's nice to be told how it REALLY is rather than have everything hidden or sugar-coated. I'm not pregnant, but I hope to have kids one day. And it's nice to know that there are different ways to get through it.
And your daughters are precious.
228. Virginia said:
OMG the part where you said you crawled into John's palm totally made me tear up. I am NOT a cry-er but the thought of a love that strong where you would find comfort through the most awful pain by imagining yourself secure in the palm of your husband's hand...totally beautiful. May you two always find that kind of comfort and security in each other!
229. Shannon Szameitat said:
Delurking to note the tears in my eyes. Not a mom yet, but this is an incredibly beautiful story of perhaps the most powerful human experience we have. Thank you for sharing.
230. andi*pandi said:
Beautiful story. Brought me back to my labor with my second. And yes the post-pain high was intense. The ability to be awake and enjoy the new baby was totally worth it. I bet Marlo will love to read this someday.
231. Adele said:
You are a damn strong woman - in fact, you remind me of Sarah Connor. Congratulations on doing such an amazing job.
232. Lisa Tighe said:
What an awesome experience you have received AND given to the tons of people who will read this!!! I'm so proud of you and have goosebumps all over...you have such a gift!
233. Cupcake Murphy said:
I love reading about how you've come shining through. It is so incredibly uplifting and hilarious and encouraging and big.
234. Carrie at Rhubarb Sky said:
I'm wiping tears. Hooray Heather! I'm SO glad you got to have that experience. And I'm so glad you're sharing here and opening the eyes of SO many more women.
235. Wendy said:
You are amazing. For doing this. For writing this. You know that, you are #26 afterall.
i have three kids, twins and a single. i have never been in labor and have had two c-sections. i sometimes feel as though i missed out on a life experience then other times i am like, fuck it...got the kids, who needs the pain.
Your story continues to make we waiver on this.
PS: for the record, i was born in a car. a police car in fact. i suppose one day i should write that story.
236. Ashley said:
Honesty is so underrated these days, thanks for keeping it real. and funny too!
237. Jenny said:
Wow. Truly amazing work of writing. It was hilarious and real and touching and just emotional. I plan to have kids someday, and I, too, feel the allure of a natural childbirth. After reading about all the PAIN I honestly don't think I have the guts to try it, though. On the other hand, the other stories of effed-up C-sections scare me just as much! Maybe that's why I'm 31, happily married, and still not knocked up! Too much fear! :)
Thanks again for this story. I've always wanted to hear an honest account of this sort. I value what I've read here. And yes, you're a major rockstar!
238. beyond said:
(do mormons say 'oh my heck'? i love that.)
when i read sleeping pill i choked on my cucumber and hummus. and then it all got even better.
brilliant storytelling, heather. brilliant. laughter and tears. thank you.
239. Lindsay said:
OMG--we have the same family. If I have to eat at Cracker Barrel one more freaking time I may die.
And that was probably one of the best blog posts I've ever read in my entire life. It almost brought tears to my eyes, and I will tell you, I cry maybe once a year.
240. RzDrms said:
i love you. i honestly love you.
241. Lily said:
WOW! That is an incredibly moving story Heather! Oh my gosh, so real and raw yet so deep and so very touching.
Thank you for sharing that amazing experience. Good good stuff.
242. Jeff said:
I could never understand how women do it, but you've given me the best glimpse I'll probably ever get. Congratulations to you and Jon and Leta.
243. Vicky @ thecitycradle said:
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience.
244. katie said:
wonderful wonderful wonderful. absolutely beautiful :)
245. Suz said:
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I went into labor expecting to be able to pull off a natural birth, but 15 hours later and only 5 cm. I was coerced into Pitocin. Yuck. I really admire your efforts and hope to do it myself someday!
First time posting, but just wanted to say...your book kind of saved my life. My boyfriend brought it home after I had our daughter in March and was struggling. I didn't know anything about your blog until then, so I am very happy to see that everything is going so well for you and your family. Congratulations!
246. Sarah said:
Heather, you've blown me away. As someone who is 37 weeks pregnant and hoping to be able to try giving birth naturally I thank you for your honesty and of course brilliant humour.
247. Jenny said:
Truly touching. I can't tell you just how much you have warmed my heart with your honesty. About depression, birth, and everything else in your life... you are an amazing woman. Thank you for keeping it real.
248. Kelsi said:
That was completely awesome! I had totally forgot about that part where the baby's head is out and you realize you still have to push to get the shoulders out and that last thing you want to do right then is push some more! I'd better go make sure I have that in my birth story from over two years ago.
I'm very impressed with your birth, and with the way even the nurses encourage you to try different positions, ect. I hope every woman is lucky enough to get the same treatment!
249. Emily said:
The water over the yard ornament is not stupid...it's exactly right.
And how can you be so funny, and so moving at the same time? Awesome.
250. Eliz said:
Hmmm, something interesting you didn't quite say. (Not that I didn't love the lawn ornament stuff.) You went through pain that brought on a spiritual revelation, a pain so intense that the lack of made you feel high, through which you fell in love with your brand-new baby. Have studies been done on who bonds and falls in love with their babies quicker – natural-birth moms or those who are given drugs during birth? Because to hear you tell it, it was the acceptance of the pain that allowed for such an instantaneous feeling of love.
251. kate said:
Thanks so much for sharing that. Sounds quite similar to my daughter's birth but I was floating in a stormy ocean, not a lawn ornament. So glad you shared. I hope it will encourage more women to look into their options and realize that a birth is not the equivalent of a tooth extraction. I do strongly believe in natural birth, but if someone doesn't do it, I don't care. I just care if they think the only way to do it is how they've seen on tv.
I don't read Jon's blog, but I'd be curious to see what he had to say about the birth (suppose I should go look). It changed everything for my husband. He said that he felt like he hadn't really known me, or known my strength before that and yes, it was the only time we've had a kid, but I think it was very much related to the way she was born.
I'll cork it now. Congratulations to you all.
252. Tracey said:
Lovely story, and written so well. Next time, try it underwater. Hurts a whole lot less!
I've been wanting to tell you: Marlo is just precious. It's great you have so many terrific pictures of her! Leta is beautiful, too. Not as pretty as MY kids, of course. But then no one's are, right?
253. Jessie said:
Thank you for sharing your birth story and so eloquently describing that primal feeling of power that accompanies a natural birth. I have never been able to do so. I've been waiting to read this, and it was worth the wait. Congratulations.
254. shriek house said:
That photo of you & Marlo is amazing. Your expression is hardcore bodhisattva, like you have SEEN INTO THE ABYSS. And the baby is all, HEY MOM NICE BLOUSE!
Loved reading the story, love that it was such a transformational experience for you. I don't know what I want more now: to try a drug-free delivery or remain a 2-kid family.
255. Jennifer said:
I'm having my first baby any minute now. Was planning on going natural. I loved reading your story. But, I must know, does it really feel like being eaten by a shark? If so, I think I might have the epi after all. Maybe I should go meditate. :)
256. Ms. Moon said:
Thank-you, Heather Armstrong. Thank-you.
257. Ashley said:
I am not a mom, but I read this blog religiously and had been patiently waiting for part III.
Wow. Beautifully written, and an amazing story. Wow. I had tears. Copious amounts of tears.
Can I just say, as a woman, how much I appreciate your honesty and candor in talking about things that nobody ever talks about. I'm only 23 years old, but this post makes me feel less afraid about the idea of having a baby one day and more confident in what my body can do. Thank you for sharing your experience!
258. Kim said:
You brought me to audilbe sobs. Beautiful!
259. Krysta said:
Heather...this is my first comment on your blog (though I've been reading it faithfully for almost 2 years). I've never had a baby, and am not quite ready for that phase of life yet. But reading your birth story makes me SO EXCITED to go through this experience. Your story is beautiful, and I'm sure you'll think I'm corny for saying this but my eyes watered up reading it, especially the last part about how you felt so high after Marlo's birth...and how in love with her you are. You are inspiring to me in so many ways...you tell the world about your life with absolutely no bull-shit and I appreciate that about you so much! You may not even read this comment...or if you do you might be repulsed by how ridiculous and sappy it is...but I felt the urge to thank you for sharing your story so honestly!
260. Jen B said:
You are a rockstar!! Thanks for sharing your story. Enjoy your wonderful family!
261. Becky said:
Woohoo! I love that story, thanks for getting it all out for us. I especially love the image of the water and the yard ornament. I'm going to file that away in case I ever need it.
262. Anonymous said:
Congrats on the drug-free birth! That is the best way. They don't stitch you up without a local, though. Not in any hospital. Trust me, I work L&D.
263. Jennifer said:
Oh, and I have In Rainbows all set for by birthing mix too. Happy to hear it was a good choice for labor pains.
264. shraddha said:
wow!!
your children will really enjoy reading all this when older!!!
i really admire your blog...i also wonder how you manage all these comments?I mean seriously...like in 1000s!!!We can not seem to manage the 30 or so comments that we get on our posts!!
265. Meghan said:
This was amazing. YOU are amazing.
266. Cheryl said:
Yay. So well done, in both the birthing and the writing.
267. Cyndi said:
BEAUTIFUL. FUNNY. INSPIRING. Never left a comment for you -
I've got three kids - one birth w/drugs in the hospital, one natural at a birth center and one natural at home. What a journey we all take. THANK YOU for sharing - your influence goes far and wide and this is such an important issue. Yay Mama Heather!
268. Valerie said:
Heather, you totally inspire me. I don't know what my pain tolerance is, but I know if I ever give it a shot, I'll undoubtedly be cursing you and thanking you at the same moment.
269. mountainmomma18 said:
Is that puppies and rainbows from you? I kind of like it. I had an unplanned "natural" birth they called a failed epidural and I was not prepared, so I was awful and at one point also told them to just pull her out already. Good for you, you should be very proud.
270. Lisa Ash said:
I didn't cry until I got to the photo of her looking at you and reaching her hands toward your face. You did it! You are a birthing goddess.
271. Katie said:
What a fantastic birth story. Painful, but fantastic! I totally understand having two children of my own (one delivered without drugs). I'm happy you can put into words what I find so hard to describe. And you're right, Marlo was TOTALLY worth it!
272. Emily said:
Through most of your post I laughed, then I cried. Really lovely. I'm so incredibly happy for you.
273. kelly said:
I read your blog every day and have never commented. I am sure I will be one of thousands to comment here, but I just have to say: Beautiful. So beautiful.
Thank you so much for sharing this. You're marvelous!
274. CJK said:
I don't know how you do it: make a person go from literally laughing out loud to tearing up with emotion it a matter of seconds. Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience.
Oh, and I gave birth to my brother-in-law twice :o) Made breastfeeding that first time a strange experience!
275. Dana said:
Holy Christ.
This is just perfect.
276. Jennifer said:
Thank you for sharing your story. I've never had children, but hope that if I ever do, I am lucky enough to experience natural child birth.
Thank you for reminding us that births don't have to be scheduled for the convenience of a doctor or planned to the nth detail.
Thank you for reminding us of the transforming power of life.
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story with the world.
Thank you.
277. Anonymous said:
This was dazzling and I cried the whole way through it. A beautiful story with the most magical of endings. So similar to mine, except for the happy ending part. I studied and researched and learned and worked, but I didn't get what you call the ultimate experience that a human being can have, because I didn't give someone life. Or maybe I did have the ultimate experience, if "ultimate" is defined as "extreme."
My startling, delicate, glorious child changed everything too, even though my husband and I had already been told that she had died, even though she was alive and kicking and bumping around just 6 hours earlier. I'm still dealing with it, and people warned me not to read your blog, but I'm a stubborn sort and I'm glad I was able to read this. You have given me hope and strength and something for me to hold on to while I wait for my own miracle. So thank you.
Congratulations, blessings and a wonderful, long and happy life to all of you.
278. Kartasi said:
I've been biting my nails, impatiently waiting for part three of the labor story. And when I saw it on my Reader, I immediately stopped what I was doing to read it. You did not disappoint. Thanks for writing so honestly. You're the first person to make me consider anything other than a C-Section.
279. Mimi said:
You are fucking hilarious.
And thank you. Thank you, thank you.
280. Lynn said:
Wow, you took me back 22 years. The falling in love was so unbelievable. It's hard to tell someone who hasn't been there. But you did a great job! Congratulations to the whole family. You two make some cute kids.
281. Lesley said:
Thank you so much for sharing this in the way you did. I'm due in about 8 weeks and even though there are no guarantees (plus, I'm delivering twins) I really, really want to try to do everything I can to have this experience.
This was so beautiful and encouraging and reassuring all at the same time. Thanks, again, Heather. Congratulations.
282. Abi said:
After being "forced" into a natural birth with my first, I *KNEW* I wanted to go all natural with my second baby. It is the scariest, most thrilling experience of my life. I didn't have a birth team or a doula. But having my husband there next to me, touching my neck and ear gave such AMAZING comfort. I am so glad that you had a beautiful birth experience!
283. Jess said:
There isn't anything better than a happy ending to a baby story! I love it, Heather. She is absolutely precious. Congrats to you and your entire family!
284. Punkyseed said:
Yes. I know all about the euphoria. I had a natural birth too, and I was absolutely high afterwards. I had him at 8 pm, and then proceeded not to sleep that night.
Not a great idea for somebody who's bound for sleepless nights as far as the eye can see.
Still, I plan on doing it again.
285. Jasmine said:
I had to laugh at your visualization of being the garden ball with water flowing over it--my visualization was me, as Plankton (as in the character from Spongebob Squarepants, which I have seen like, twice) riding a giant wave. No idea where it came from, but for like the worst two hours of the labor pains, that was me. Plankton. A little tiny ass cartoon character riding a tsunami-sized wave.
286. Laura said:
Cried. Cried and cried. And I'm 24, "single" (but dating the boy I will surely marry), not anywhere near wanting babies (I work with them every. single. day.) and yet...
You had me at "Jon's palm." That image immediately resonated with me, with the man that I am madly, insanely, deliriously in love with...
This is a stunning piece, Heather.
287. Miss Behavin said:
I opted for natural childbirth with my first two kids, with the aid of a nurse-midwife. Indeed, it was a euphoric experience.
I had a nubain injection with my third, and honestly, it didn't really take the edge off at all. In fact, it made me quite loopy.
My last, and final, labor and delivery was done with the help of an epidural, and while it did ease the pain (somewhat) during the contractions, I still felt all the pain of the delivery that I had with natural childbirth, and the baby got stuck in there for 28 minutes. OMG!
Thanks for sharing your story, Heather. No judgment here - I drank coffee when I breastfed, too.
288. heather said:
Yay you!
289. Natasha said:
OMG!!!!! I had a planned c-section because CJ (Cianna Jade) was in a breech position, so I really cannot fathom the extremity of pain that you're writing about. However, like you, i had spent a lot of time alone with my baby...talking, singing and dreaming with her. So that once she was out and I could see and touch (I had spinal block anesthesia, which meant I was awake throughout the procedure) her i fell utterly and madly in love with her.
Just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience with those of us you think you're amazing!!!! My eyes were glued to the screen...you had me cringing, laughing, crying and finalling smiling right to the very end.
Lots of love to you, Jon, Leta & Marlo...
290. Karen said:
Fucking Magic.
291. Brandi said:
Just fantastic! You really captured the whole experience. I was having flashbacks from the wheelchair ride to the flowing water happy place(waves on the shore for me) right to the euphoria.
I've got to confess at one point I thought, oh come on already...with the parts and cliffhangers...but darn well worth it. And also, I may have thought previously that there was a little too much 'natural childbirth is the only way'--sort of 'la leche-ing it'...I'm all for natural childbirth (and nursing babies--I've done both 4 times) but I'm not into pushing what's important to me onto everyone else in the world. But having said that, I thought you rounded things out so very well by pointing out the most important point, educating yourself about your options and doing what's best for you and your baby. I, also, was very very lucky to have the experiences I had and I know it. My heart goes out to the women who go through 9 months of sacrificing their bodies for this new baby and then get let down because of the way their baby enters the world.
Congrats on your multiple success and your beautiful family!
292. Karen said:
What a beautiful story to go along with a beautiful baby!
293. Bri said:
Wow. I am so interested, but I have to say reading about the pain makes me want that epidural all over again. But what a feeling of accomplishment. I felt that way after giving birth with the drugs so I am wondering what it would feel like without. Hilarious and great post!
294. Monkey said:
I laughed and cried while reading this. Such a beautiful story.
:)
peace...
295. willikat said:
God, that's just beautiful, and damn, you are brave. I had a kidney stone, and the nurse said to me, "welcome to childbirth, honey", and DAMNED if I'll ever do that again. I was begging for morphine like a junkie.
296. Lara said:
Giving birth to my son naturally was the most incredible experience of my life. I have never felt so powerful and strong as I did after he was born. I was in labor for 18 hours and pushed for 15 minutes (the longest damn 15 minutes of my life...I truly thought it had been a couple of hours).
When I decided I wanted to have a natural, drug-free, no intervention birth, everyone told me I was crazy. My mom told me over and over again that I couldn't do it. But you know what? I took classes, I practiced the techniques with my husband ( who the nurses said was the best labor coach they had ever seen), found myself a very supportive midwife and I was as prepared as I possibly could have been to get through it. During it, several of the techniques I thought I'd want to use just didn't feel right, but we kept working at it until I was as comfortable as possible. My midwife made sure that I had nurses that were supportive of natural childbirth. The last thing you need when you are going through it is someone who is trying to push you into getting an epidural. My nurse had had 6 natural child-births.. I think she knew what the hell she was talking about and I listened.
To those of you who think you can't do it, you really can. With preparation and thought, you can get through it. You just have to believe in yourself and really believe in your body's ability to take care of it. Sometimes it works out, like it did for Heather and many other people who have commented and, sometimes, you end up having to let go of the desire for a natural birth and do what needs to be done for the health and safety of yourself and your child. That doesn't make your experience any less worthy. The goal in any delivery is a healthy baby and momma.
Congratulations Heather!
297. Jessica said:
LOL- really! I'm not one to really LOL and the beginning of this had me laughing so hard my husband was looking at me funny and I had to leave the room. Tears were falling down my face and weird sounds were coming out of my mouth (like I said, I don't normally lol, and I was trying not to wake any little ones).
Everything else you said so much better than I can summarize, but your birth story is powerful and a legacy for you and your daughters. You Rock!
This is probably the first birth story that left me in tears just from start to finish, and for so many different reasons.
No go snuggle with those little ones (or Jon) and get some rest.
Has anyone warned you about the (around) 6 week transition, where that high starts to fade and the sleep deprivation sets in... and the baby starts to sleep less...??? settle in for that one and don't take on anything but the bare necessities.
298. Candy Stick Lane said:
Thank you SO much for sharing this! This story changed me! XO
299. Karlee said:
I went pee, made a tea (bustin' out the seussian couplets), and then sat down so that I could fully enjoy that lovely story.
300. Bridget said:
BEAUTIFUL! absolutly beautiful!