you go heather! amazing!

i too did the natural thing (until the very end, when the safety of my wee babe became a question, so out came the dreaded, ohsodreaded, vacuum...) my choice was not nearly as educated as yours, but just sorta "hey, i'd prefer not to use anything, so let's see." then, thankfully, my labour (not british, canadian, but we too spell it correctly!) went pretty fast, for a first born, so drug-free i went, quickly, without a lot of choice. i will read this book you recommend, and see the documentary finally and, hopefully, go without anything with my second child again.

although, that vacuum thing -- and third degree tear -- did kinda put me off, so i do find myself thinking, "i wonder if that epidural thing is as heavenly as most of my girlfriends tell me it is..."

can't wait for part two of your childbirth story!

OMG YOU ALMOST DOOMED YOURSELF AND YOUR BABY YOU DOOMING DOOMER YOU SHOULD RENAME YOUR SITE DOOM.COM

...Just kidding! :-)

I am very curious to read your account and get your perspective on the differences between the two birth experiences you went through. Thank you so much for sharing, even though the naysayers are a formidable force to contend with on this one.

I have to confess I totally can't believe you successfuly convinced Jon to go through with it, though - tell us how you did it! Even if it's total porn!

It is so exciting to hear your story. I also had two drug-free births and it was seriously like I was on a high for a few days afterward. I felt like I could conquer the world. In fact, we are done having children and yet I mention that I'll miss the labor and delivery part of the pregnancies and my husband thought I had lost my mind. Yes it was hard...real hard... but so worth it! Congrats on your achievement and courage. Looking forward to the rest of the story.

I've been reading forever but this is the first time I've commented- thank you for this post! I saw The BOBB and it changed my life. It even convinced my husband who was all about the hospital birth. With my first I had a routine hospital birth with an epidural. I'm pregnant right now and I will be going to a birth center so I can have a natural childbirth. I can't wait for it and it's so nice to see supportive posts like this about natural childbirth. If I have a third it will be at home.

I will totally have to get that book now. The book that really did it for me was "Pushed". I couldn't put it down. Total must-read!

Gah. I was still holding a grudge over the Dooce Vaccine Incident of '09.

Fine, fine. I forgive you, sheesh.

LOVE this post! Can't wait for Part 2.

I so get it. People definitely think I'm a bit odd for doing the "natural" thing but I think every mom should have the chance at this amazing, empowering, life changing experience!

the book "birth" and the movie "orgasmic birth" are also great resources for those wishing to learn more about birthing naturally.

can't wait to hear the next part :D

Heather, I really enjoyed this post. You put into words the feelings I have about non-medicated birth and the changes in attitude that I experienced during my second pregnancy.

When I had my first child, I had an epidural. With the second two, I had no medicine at all. The second and third birth experiences were so much different than the first - both for me and for my babies.

Congratulations to you and your family and welcome to Marlo!
I'm looking forward to the next installment of the birth story.

Awesome. Amazing. We watched _The Business of Being Born_ in my Women's Studies class last semester. Congratulations on your success, and I'm looking forward to part II.

YES! I am a very large fan of natural childbirth and cannot wait to read the second half!!!!
Reading your prior entries after Marlo's birth, by the way, made me cry in a good/sad/wow you are a wonderful writer way. And I never cry. You've got a beautiful thing going on.

Congratulations! I would use the same words to describe the birth I had with my second son 5 months ago. It was beautiful, spiritual, and incredibly empowering. I have since completed my doula training and have my first births lined up for later this year. I just wanted to thank you for writing about your experience. The exposure you have brought to this issue will do every women who has read it a great deal of good. We need to trust our bodies and our instincts about what is right and surround ourselves with support to achieve what we desire when we bring our children into this world. My hope is that the daughters being born today will be raised to not fear childbirth but to embrace it.

I wonder if anyone has read A Wise Birth, by Penny Armstrong
http://www.amazon.com/Wise-Birth-Bringing-Together-Childbirth/dp/1905177...
and how it fits in with the Ricki Lake book. I am pregnant with my third child (C-sections with 1 and 2) and have little to no hope of any other option for my third birth, but I keep reading these stories:)
Congratulations to the Armstrong family - I have been reading your blog since Leta and my first son were born and enjoy it immensely.

Wow, you're a really strong woman to be able to endure natural childbirth (when I saw that photo of you though after the birth of Marlo; I knew that was just the route you went). I can't wait to read part two.

Hope things with Marlo are going great. ;o)

Take, care.

ADDAGIRL!!! I had an epi with my first, and he came fast. No time with my second, it wasn't what I planned. But sometimes plans go out the window. I was panicked, and scared, but in the end it is a badge I wear with pride, and ultimately made me feel more of an immediate connection. And HIGH as I kite I was after she came into my arms! I sound like Yoda... If I were to do it again, I would go natural.
I promise not to send my book, after looking forward to sharing a little bit of me in appreciation for all that you have given, I promise not to waste the postage.
Take care.

Thanks - it is hard to begin a story when you know it's going to be big and long.

We are looking forward to the next installment.

You rock, woman!

Well as one of those patchouli stinkin hippie homebirther doula people who happens to adore you and been reading you since Leta was an infant the same age as my youngest daughter, i applaud your open mindedness and change of heart. And it sure as fuck must be snowing down there in hell today b/c you could knock me over with a noodle, I am that surprised.

Hurray for you and most of all for those two women who have singlehandedly CHANGED something vitally fucking important to women.

you, you just rock and crack me up. this is gonna be GOOD.

Yay! I'm so happy the birth story posts are starting. I've been waiting with bated breath. :) I also saw The Business of Being Born several months ago. I would never have considered a home birth (how messy and dangerous!), and that movie completely changed my mind. I'm three months pregnant now and starting to research my options. I ordered Birthing from Within on a friend's recommendation, and I'll read Ricki Lake's book at some point. I can't WAIT to hear the rest!

hey heather,

i can't wait to hear the rest! i researched birth deeply myself and ended up having all three of my beautiful sons in water at home. there is no "better than thou" here - every birth is both a miracle and a feat - but i am grateful every day for the empowering, beautiful birth experiences i had. i made the decision as much for the safety of my children (always near a hospital!) as for myself, something few people understand.

i'm so glad your birth was so amazing for you!

michelle

You go girl.

I had two home-births. When people hear that they always say "you had to be crazy." For me it was far more scary to do it in the hospital. Okay, with the first one I had a Dr and a midwife and all the equipment I could ever need but there were no drugs, all natural and I, too, thought it was spiritually amazing.

The second one was with 2 midwives, again they brought all the equipment one could ever need. The second one was fast and furious and so amazing.

You're not crazy, it IS a life changing event. In fact those two events began my career as a parent educator. If I could bring these two marvelous creatures into the world naturally and gently with no medical intervention then I wanted to do the right thing by them and parent them well too.

Love your writing, and can't wait to hear the rest of the story.

Wow Heather - it's like my two favorite worlds are crashing together: Natural childbirth and Dooce!! I am a doula and I'm so happy you are writing about your experience first hand. The statistics are powerful, but your writing will personalize it for so many women. Congrats on your birth and your beautiful new baby girl.

I had a similar experience. I am not anti epidural but I really don't like pain, the more I looked into birth (I was trying to figure out how to avoid a c-section all together) I realized that I would have to give birth outside of a hospital because I would be saying "epidural please!". This was in '05 I found a book at the library called "Giving Birth: A Journey Into the World of Mothers and Midwives". I gave birth in Oregon with wonderful midwives at Andaluz Water Birth Center. It took four days of labor with my first. I had no tears. Tons of support. It was life changing. The next time in '08 I wanted to do it at home, but at the last minute I decided to do it at the water birth center. This baby took less than an hour to show himself to the world. I can only say that it was worth all the pain to have a birth my way. No interventions.

I'm a doula who has loved loved loved your blog for a long time now, and can I just say that this post is completely amazing? It makes me so happy! I love it when a woman sees the light and does something to educate herself and take some control over her own birth experience. Go Heather! You rock, and I can't wait to hear the rest of your birth story!

MAYBE it was because I witness 5 wonderful (all hospital) births before having my own babies, (there was one C-section in the mix). MAYBE it was because I was an "older" first time mother. MAYBE it was because I hadn't met enough women with terrible birthing experiences. MAYBE it was being the oldest of 7 children to a young mother who had baby after baby and never complained about the births. MAYBE it was the confidence from my OBGYN's that women birth babies in hospitals so that we're close to the resources to help us IF there's a problem. WHATEVER THE MAYBE, I so admire that you can put into words the profound feelings of natural childbirth. I don't feel any superiority to women that delivered another way, by choice or not, just a sense of sadness they were unable to experience it.

I watched The Business of Being Born for an Infancy class last semester, and absolutely loved it. I'm a long way from having kids, but the first thing I'll do is find a copy and watch it again. I liked how it was about doing what the woman was comfortable with, how birth plans can be modified to fit the needs of that family, and was amazed at how many different ways a successful birth can happen. Such good information to have before having kids!

I've been reading your blog for quite some time and never commented. You probably won't even read this one, but here goes. I had my first girl seven years ago, everyone in my family is in the medical field. I had a friend who was having a homebirth, so I decided to do research to show her how unsafe she was being!! Ya! So I ended up having a wonderful homebirth experiece, with the midwife who actually brought Michele Odent to the US. I could go on and on but I won't bore you. I am not the "typical" homebirth granola type-but I have to say the experience of birth is absolutely so profound and so underappreciated in the life and emotions of women it is unbelievable. Congrats! Excited to hear the end!

Two planned natural births here, and wouldn't have had it any other way. And friends, I humbly submit it doesn't have to be painful - even naturally. My births were perfectly manageable and easily the most incredibly experiences of my life. Here's a shout out to http://www.hypnobabies.com - this program changed my life as much as you say Ricki's book changed yours.

Oh Heather, I am so happy for you for this experience! My sister (also a Heather) had a natural childbirth when my nephew was born, and just hearing about her experience transformed my ideas about childbirth. I don't have children of my own, but I've considered becoming a doula based on The Business of Being Born and conversations with my sister. There is so much wool being pulled over birthing mothers' eyes that it makes me cry. So many women have no idea what they want or even what's good for them because they are never asked, and have no voice.

The part in that movie where the old doctor is talking about the connection and love that comes right after birth - well, that got me. I am so glad you wrote this because I hope other women may realize that their birth experiences can truly be experiences, and not just a visit to the hospital.

I am very proud of you for tackling this, writing this, and experiencing this. Go Heather!!

Dooce! I only discovered your blog a few months ago and I have been re-reading your archives. When I read about your first birth experience I was both delighted and sad. I cannot tell you how glad I am to read this first half of your next birth experience. I've been tempted to recommend The Business of Being Born for so long, but I hadn't finished your archives and I'm so hesitant to be one of those people giving you advice.

Hooray, hooray for your discovery of the problems of America's medicalized birth system and especially for a birth experience that was sacred and spiritual, and that has produced such a wonderful new addition to your life!

Completely amazing and beautiful!!

Here is another great book that totally inspired me when I became pregnant: Having Faith: An Ecologist's Journey to Motherhood by Sandra Steingraber.

Both of mine, now 2 and 4 were natural births in a hospital (both sunny side-up babes, ouch!) and feel so blessed and blown away by how amazing the experience was.

Can't wait to hear the rest of yours!

Part Two coming...tomorrow morning? I hope?

I have to say I am very surprised you went all natural, doula, candles and chanting. But I do tend to like people who are capable of completely changing their point of view on something after learning more about it. Generally an A+ quality.

I am so relieved to read this! I had both children naturally. One 16 years ago, one 6 years ago. I was so tired of people telling me I was "crazy" for wanting a natural childbirth. I couldn't understand how women all over the world have natural births and I was the one that was crazy because I wanted something similar.

I never felt the desire or need to have any pain medication. I am glad I didn't. It felt so primal to me to have a child naturally, and most people I surrounded myself with at those times never understood that.

Thank you for voicing this! I was ostracized for my thinking in a birthing class and maybe someday people will understand it's okay to choose what is best for you, not what others think is best.

Like everyone else I can't wait to hear the rest of the story. I have two children, both were scheduled c-sections for medical reasons. Unlike some of the other commentors, I can honestly say I don't feel like I missed out on the childbirth experience at all and FOR ME, it was a very simple and painfree childbirth that kept me and my kids safer than the natural route would have. There are reasons that our babies are delivered in many different ways, some by choice and some not by choice, but in the end we have wonderful little bundles to love. I actually think this is one of those silly debates that ultimately is a personal choice, and I find it incredibly frustrating when Mom's judge each other over their preferred childbirth method. Anyway, not judging you at all, thrilled you experienced something else AND that it went well for you!

I had a home birth two years ago. I still feel persecuted for my decision by those friends that consider themselves the most open-minded progressive feminists. But it is the best decision I ever made in my life, and I'm very at peace with it. Thanks for your post.

Yahooo!!!! I am so excited for you that you found your way to the incredible magic of natural childbirth, and so hopeful that you'll inspire other women to birth confidently. It really is an incredible experience isn't it? I felt like a cross between a goddess and a superhero pushing out my baby girl, and I loved it.

Oh my gosh...I can't wait to read the rest! I'm a labor/delivery nurse, so I live/breathe labor and birth stories. Don't make us wait too long. :)

What a terrific story! I can't wait to hear the rest of it!

You are woman; you must ROAR!

I remember the feeling of euphoria after my daughter's natural birth. I likened it to the physical feat of scaling a mountain. I can summon the memory some five years later (I birthed twins and a singleton after... with varying degrees of medicalization... and none compared to the first).

I'm so happy for you and love your description of Marlo's birth as "spiritual." I felt the same way. And it's quite a different image than what modern media would have us believe: think any film or television depiction of birth. Not natural. Not empowering. Totally off-putting.

Good on you, Dooce.

Here's what I'm troubled by reading your comments: most proponents of natural childbirth aren't trying to denigrate the experience of mothers who birth children via C-section or those who opt for an epidural (I used an epidural for the birth of my twins). We're not trying to make you feel 'guilty' for your choice (your word, not mine).

We're trying to say the natural birth experience is 1) NATURAL and therefore doable. 2) You can do it. You really can. Your body is designed for the very purpose. Don't be frightened. 3) Most mothers are grateful and thrilled for their healthy babies BUT - here's the difference - you can also enjoy, love and adore the PROCESS, the act of birthing the baby. I know this sounds scandalous and totally unbelievable in our society but it's true. It's not all flowers scented candles; I won't lie. But the hard work feeds the empowerment and feeling of accomplishment... not to mention the intense bonding.

I never felt so in touch with my body as a woman - and as an animal, frankly - as when giving birth. It was primal, indeed.

It's a feeling I wish we could all experience.

d

Heather,

Thank you. Truly. For being open enough to even think about changing your world/ birth view at all. I was lucky enough to have a healthy and incredible drug free birth myself. It was the most powerful thing I have ever experienced in my life. Congratulations and Marlo is gorgeous!

YEAH! I gave birth to my FIRST baby at home in a little under 10 hours and he weighed in at whooping 9 lbs 7 oz. If I can do it, anyone can!

Thanks for spreading the word!

Hmm. Maybe the second installment will clear things up, but I'm a little befuddled. Eighteen years ago I reviewed my Lamaze book, went into labor, checked into the hospital, declined an epidural, and gave birth to my second child. Not an epiphany, just a choice--first kid was a footling breech C-section, and I knew I wanted nothing to do with an epidural again. But hundreds of thousands of women have done the same thing without Ricki Lake's guidance. I think it's lovely that a book helped you overcome your fears, but I don't see how this is a big revelation to anyone. Haven't we known about the benefits of natural childbirth, and hasn't every woman been taking Lamaze classes, for, like, decades?

I was considered crazy by my MIL because I used a birth center for my second child's birth and not a hospital. I wasn't crazy for the first baby because at least it was with a midwife in a hospital. But my husband and I felt very comfortable with our choice and plan since we had done our research. And everything went well, even though my husband didn't get to actually see the birth because he was holding me up while I gave birth standing up. Yes, standing up and it was safe, the baby was fine! Folks need to do what you did - read, read, read, watch birthing movies and videos - now they even have them on You Tube! Spend less time researching strollers and high chairs and more time learning about NCB and what actually happens in a hospital birth and why, etc. And even if you plan for NCB, or a medicated birth, be informed about the other possibilities, because they can happen despite all the planning.

How can you leave us hanging like this???? Need to know more. I'm 6 months pregnant and all this week I've been contemplating going the drug-free route this time around and this is the third sign I've received in the past two days that I need to watch The Business of Being Born. I can't wait to hear the rest of your labor story because I'm right on the cusp of firing my OB/GYN and hiring a midwife, even though it scares me shitless.

i've accomplished two completely natural childbirth experiences and am currently preparing for a third ...
it is an experience beyond anything ... sacred and spiritual only begin to describe it.
funny ... the other day my husband overheard a neighbor that had just had a baby mention something about how awesome the epidural was. later he walked into the house and wrapped his arms around me and said (excuse me while i cry here - damn pregnancy hormones) something about being proud of me for having our babies naturally. (see, i can't even remember exactly and it still makes me cry.)
i'm proud of you for reading and learning and doing. i can't wait to hear the rest of the story.

I started reading DOOCE in the fall of 2002, I was at the same time reading Birthing From Within and planning for the natural birth of my daughter that December. Every pregnant woman I met for the next couple of years was at risk of a long and passionate diatribe about the many many things I felt (and still feel, although with a bit more control) are wrong with the "modern birth" in America. Anyway, interesting symmetry...

In other interesting symmetry I found your blog during one of many google searches of the "recovering mormon" variety. (having only left the church a year earlier)

peace :) (you know you are a hippy now, might as well embrace the patchouli while you are at it...)

Heather, Congratulations on a positive birth experience! I am SO looking forward to part II!! Bravo, mama!!

I had both of my daughters with midwives, the first at the hospital (because I was chicken, having never given borth before) and the second at the freestanding birth center about a mile from the hospital. For me, the birth center was a nice compromise between the hospital birth and the home birth. I liked that it was close to the hospital, just in case, but really liked that I got to come home 8 hours after my daughter was born (during that wave of euphoria where you think you can do anything).

I am lucky - my mom taught childbirth classes for years and worked at the birth center (she was so excited when "The Business of Being Born" was released, because I think she knows some of the people interviewed or something). But what luck for you that you happened to receive the book at the right time.

I'm happy to hear that you had a wonderful birth experience and I'm even happier that you are sharing it with the internets. Who knows, maybe you'll influence someone else to see what they can do.

Best wishes.

Although I've had to be induced twice, I had minimal pain meds and was so happy that my labors were not nearly as bad as others. It's all in your mind ladies! Go Dooce!! That's an amazing story! I'm really hoping this last one (due any day now) comes on her own and I'll actually KNOW what real child birth is!

My 'homepage' is no longer available thanks to nosey coworkers and a pesky thing called 'getting-released-from-contract' because of their retardation. In any case! My sis-in-law had both my nephews (and subsequently her and my Brother's children) in a blow up tub in their home.

Me? I have a rare condition called wide-enough-hips-yet-too-narrow-pelvis so both my girls were born via c-section.

It sucked BOTH times and I wish I had the chance to do natural. I would have ended up as one of those women you started your post about. =)

I can't wait to hear more about your experience with Marlo. Lifechanging is pretty impressive.

yay! so so so thrilled that you experienced this. and so thrilled that you let this book change your life. please be a part of the motion that opens up non-medicalized/natural birth options to women who have been raised to be fearful of their own bodies doing exactly what they were built to do. you rock!

I have read your blog for years now but never commented. I have one child, a girl, and I had her at home. All 9 pounds of her. I love to tell people that I had a home birth because I often change their whole idea of who has a baby at home. I am not a hippie. I shave my legs, I wear makeup (sometimes a lot of makeup) and I never, ever smell like patchouli. Having a baby at home was the best decision I have EVER made. Becoming a mother changed my life for sure, but the actual birthing changed me almost as much. It gave me a confidence that nothing else ever could. Thank you for communicating this to the masses.

As someone who is pro-homebirth/midwifery etc and who was outraged by your previous post on the subject, I'm sort of glad you got your comeuppance. I mean that in the nicest way possible, I SWEAR.

Awesome, Heather, seriously! I can't wait to read the rest.

My first birthing experience was so medicated and awful - all kinds of complications - most from the epidural it seems (crashing blood pressure - mine, heart rate dropping - baby, and many other issues that I won't go in an effort to not hijack your blog comments too much).

Anyway - baby two - didn't read ricky lake, but I knew what I didn't want again. So I brought a mid-wife on board and long story short, I was 7 cm when I got to the hospital, begged them to let me in the tub and assured them that yes, I would most certainly get out of the tub if I had to push (good Lord, just typing that made my eyes roll to the back of my head) well - stood up, water broke, got into the tub, CRAZY ASS CONTRACTIONS. Two to be exact and I forced that baby out of me and into the tub. This was after I told them to "FUCKING MAKE ME GET OUT OF THE TUB" sorry - but that's how it went. So a team of 10 strange medical people rushed in the room because a baby was being born in the tub and this was just not how things are done there, damnit!! I had violated so many hospital rules or codes of conduct by refusing to get my ass out of the tub - but seriously they should have known that at 7 cm AND post water break that there is no way in hell I was getting my contracting ass out of that tub. Please.

And my sweet water baby was perfect and beautiful and happy.

I felt immediately better afterward -no drugs and poles and bags attached to me.

They moved me to the bed and the nurse told me: "We're going to start an IV now."

And I asked:
"Why?"

And she said:

"Just in case something happens we'll have a line in."

And I said:

"I just gave birth without any drugs or IV's to a baby in the bathtub and we're both fine - IF something happens you can start an IV then."

Amazing, though, how they often just tell you how it's going to be - forgetting that it's your body and your "treatment" and you alone can decide how it's going to be done.

Alright - sorry for the hijack - I just love hearing other non-medicated birth stories!! Good on you, lady!!!
Looking forward to part two.

OMG! My sister turned me onto your blog a few months ago, and I have loved it ever since. I, too, am an aspiring SAHM, except that I have no kids and only about 3 followers to my blog. You gotta start somewhere, right?

Anyways, my sister and I were completely changed after watching The Business of Being Born, and I officially transformed from the child who used to have to bite a wooden spoon when my mom removed a splinter to the woman who boldly says I will one day squeeze life out of my vag sans Xanax, Vicodin, or alcohol...three of my favorite things.

I can't wait to read Part II and to hear about your friends and family's reactions. My sis and I both wrote on our blogs about the documentary and got some pretty vehement reactions from current moms who pretty defensively thought their birth was the best ever. Which I don't begrudge, by the way, but it was a little too knee-jerk for me.

I am not even pregnant, nor trying, yet I have already been shopping the internet for my homebirth pool. I never, EVER thought I would have Ricki Lake to thank for such a purchase, but that's what I love about life, its fabulous sense of humor.

So, thanks for posting and for being an inspiration. My husband is already a SAHF, except without the kids or the pets. So I guess that makes him a SAHH...a stay at home husband...or shit ass ho happymotherfucker.

Rock on!

My blog about Business of Being Born: http://marizee.blogspot.com/2009/04/business-of-being-born.html

My sister's blog entry: http://lacylike.blogspot.com/2009/05/follow-up-on-birthing-babies.html

I admire you Heather--I ended up having an emergency C-section and after sitting in the "discharge teaching" class and hearing about the proper care of vag tears, I was SO GLAD I only had a little cut across the tummy. I've been asked if I'm sad that I missed out on the "experience" of birth, to which I say--FUCK NO. My girlie parts are still nicely intact and not cut in any way. THANK GOD.

Very impressed with you though--can't wait to read part 2! Marlo is so adorable!

Being 36 weeks pregnant with my fourth child and a glutton of punishment I have been scouring the web for labor stories. It's amazing how quickly you forget the actual details of the birthing experience when you have that new baby in your arms (apart from that delicious feeling in your nether regions as though a watermelon really had passed out of you).

I was 22 when I had my first baby and the experience was horrific. I'm not one of those people who arms themselves with a 2 page birth plan, candles and a textbook. I figured the people in the hospital do this everyday, they'll do what they need to do. All I had was the preconceived notion that it would hurt like hell and epidurals are the way to go.

Two epidurals later (I could still feel pain but couldn't actually feel pressure) my charming midwife told me if I didn't push that baby out soon the doctor was going to come in here to cut me open. Nice. It must have been her lunch break. After an eternity I pushed somewhere and my daughter was born. Later when I asked the doctor (?) how many stitches I was getting he smirked and said lots. My legs swelled to elephant man proportions but I blissfully got to pee in a bag for a few hours. The whole experience was traumatic, humiliating and just plain awful.

Somehow, I got pregnant again and this time decided I was having no drugs and stayed at home for as long as possible. When I was in labour I just walked the corridors and with each contraction stopped, willed my body to relax and imagined the contraction pushing my baby down. It worked. My midwife was wonderful and just encouraged me to do whatever felt comfortable. My son was born and afterwards I felt great. I was still sore, but I could walk and I wasn't traumatised.

I followed the same route with my third baby.

Women know what feels right for their body. I hate doctors who interfere with births because it is more convenient for them (scheduling around their holidays????). I will never be a hippy, at one with the universe woman, hell I still have the maturity of an 11 year old, but I think it's awesome that women are standing up for themselves.

A bit of pain never killed anyone. I remember being in the dentist muttering "I had a baby with no drugs, I can get a filling." It worked. In Australia we have the expression 'HARDEN UP!'

Back to my reading of 18th century births...creepy.

Ricki Lake should totally have you be a guest on Charm School.

Thank you so much #166! I know everyone wants to keep an open mind, but in my natural childbirth circles I really am made to feel (not on purpose, just "naturally") that my hospital births are second-class, my spiritual experience of birth was inferior or less intense because I was in a hospital when I gave birth, that I wasn't present during labor, and that somehow the medical establishment ran my labor and forced unwanted drugs on me. Nothing could be further from the facts.

I went into my first labor with pretty much a normal fear of the unknown. In my mind I had decided I wanted to do the labor myself, and as labor pains came on quickly and hard, I started seeing stars, getting dizzy, having trouble getting enough oxygen in. The pain was so hellish I couldn't breathe properly. My husband and nurse kept reminding me. I hung on with my husband's support and the strategies we'd learned in childbirth class (where natural childbirth was heavily touted). I worked hand in hand with the delivery team, from walking around to a whirlpool bath to being in whatever position I wanted. This went on for about three hours. I still can't believe today that I hung in there as long as I did.

By that point my strength was flagging and I was literally starting to lose control of the pain. It was horrific, unspeakable, traumatic. I asked for an epidural, got it at the last possible moment they'd let me have one, slept for several hours, then they turned the tap way down and I took about four more hours to push out the baby. The pain was intense, but the epidural took the edge off enough that I could focus on pushing, which itself helps with the pain. I wasn't looking for total lack of pain, and I didn't get it.

That birth was awful. I tore badly, both inside and out, and it took me a long time to be willing to consider another child after the agony of bearing the first one. Getting over the trauma of that level of pain took months and months. If I hadn't had the epidural and the full support of the staff, I would only have one child today, and that is a fact.

I knew going in that my physiological pain threshold is unusually low. All of you who can do childbirth without drugs, I'm envious of the ability to do that. I simply don't have it. What often bothers me is people talking about being brave and strong (every labor is about those qualities, right?) through a natural labor, as if my epi labor was easy and wimpy. I was brave and strong too, I just don't have the pain tolerance for the unbelievable level of pain I go through in labor.

Let's be honest and say right out that different women experience different levels of pain during labor. It's not about who's brave and who's wimpy. We actually have different physical levels of sensation, as well as differing physiological tolerance (which is a set part of our system, not affected by willpower). I've been with new moms in births as well as my own labors, and it's crystal clear that everyone has a different experience of pain.

The second birth was induced because my son was so large. They gave me some pitocin but soon turned that off because my body quickly took over. I delivered a healthy, alert baby in two and a half hours. It was a great, happy labor. I felt strong and in control -- I did what I needed and the staff was supportive. What made the difference? The second time, I asked for the epidural as soon as the pain reached that ghastly level, instead of trying to ride it out and ending up screaming and out of control. This second time I was able to stay sane, alert, involved, and fully present in my second labor, where in the first labor I was hysterical with pain, traumatized, and hardly knew what was going on around me.

This bad first labor was not the fault of the epidural or a staff forcing drugs on me. I made it *through* that first labor because of the epi, late as it was, and the second epi labor was pure joy. I don't know what different parts of the country are like, but I gave birth twice in conservative eastern Washington State, and they were great. "Whatever you want," they said, and they meant it.

So moms, I would support recommendations made here for researching natural childbirth. But also research hospital births. There are advantages to natural childbirth and advantages to hospital birth. Any material that doesn't say that, that's dogmatic about birth needing to be the same for everyone (or setting up their own method as the "best" way that *everyone* should aim for, regardless of a multitude of relevant factors) -- well, that hurts its credibility. Ask around, talk to moms who have done both. Read books and see films about both.

In the end, whatever you decide, your body and your baby will have their way with you and you should be flexible to go along for the ride, informed enough to make the best possible decision no matter what surprises pop up. I had to change my "no drugs" plan during that first labor, and I'm so glad I did. I can't describe the deep spirituality and the physical/emotional high of giving birth that second time, when I was fully present.

I would say, don't let people tell you that drugs, any drugs, all drugs, no matter how small the dose or how necessary they are, will rob you of sensation or emotions or cause you to have a sleepy baby who can't nurse. These things happen to some babies, regardless of how or where they're born. I needed drugs, and when I listened to my body and gave it what it needed during that second labor, my body did a perfect job of laboring and delivered a perfect baby son who was alert and immediately nursed.

You guys, I hope I haven't sounded antagonistic. I just want to provide some balance here in the comments and reassure us "other" women who had a totally different experience in hospital birth than evidently some of our sisters did -- that you're not alone, not weak, not inferior, and your spiritual experience and "high" after giving birth is no less intense and real than that of a natural/home childbirth. You're no less present in your birth.

Hospital birth vs. home/natural birth is a choice all expectant moms need to become fully informed about. Truthfully, part of being informed is remembering that while we have given birth for thousands of years without modern medicine, we have also died like flies for thousands of years, and so have our newborn babies, for lack of modern medicine.

Surely some middle ground can be found where we can all meet and not inwardly think less of others, or subtly downgrade the intensity, realness, whatever, of their birth experience. This has been my personal experience with natural childbirth friends -- great people who genuinely believe it is the best way for every woman who ever lived to give birth. That's too rigid -- very much like the medical establishment they dislike so much. We talk about it openly, and that's good.

Do what your body tells you. It might be "I need an epi to do this labor well" or it might be "Just hang with me and we'll get this done." Either way, you are a brave, strong woman who has done an amazing, amazing thing.

Thanks for letting me go on!!

Thank you for posting this, people really look up to you as an honest person and I truly believe it is people like you who can open up the eyes of so many of us who have not taken the time to know our options in childbirth. Thank you again, a very important subject to tackle.

I can't wait to hear more of your birth story...even though I am done having babies, I can't wait to check out the book!

I too have experienced both natural and epidural birth. Hands down, without question, I look back on the natural experience with great fondness. It was the most exciting, loving, life-changing experience that I had hoped to have the second time around. When that didn't happen, and even though I was holding a healthy baby in my arms, I was incredibly sad not to have had the natural kind of birth I wanted.

So happy for you and your beautiful baby!

I had my first baby girl Delilah at home with a midwife and doula and it was a wonderful uplifting experience. I'm 9 mos pregs with another girl and LOOKING FORWARD(no, I'm not high) to another awesome homebirth. I'm not anti - hospital but here in Orange County where the c-section rate is 50%, it's just TOO HARD to have a natural birth in a hospital. I really love my midwife and the peace of not having to demand quiet, laboring any way I want, pushing on my watch and in any position I chose, no episiotomies, no time limit on labor and delayed cord clamping.

Thank you so much for posting your story - can't wait to hear part 2!!!

Heather - I am pretty astonished to read this. And seriously - GO YOU! You opened yourself to new chances and experiences and seriously - that is awesome.

My first birth was so medically intervened with that it DID end in a completely unnecessary cesarean. My second birth, with my daughter Lilly this past March, was a homebirth. And oh god, how empowering that was!

I applaud you and thank you so for bringing up this kind of thing, especially since your blog *is* so widely read. Its important! I just wish more people realized HOW important birth is.

Waiting for the rest with bated breath...

One of my best friends gave me a copy of Birthing from Within and I thought it was really helpful. I still had a hospital birth with an epidural under the care of my OBGYN, but it was a VERY POSITIVE EXPERIENCE and I would do it all again. I credit my doctor for being outstanding.

Meanwhile, my friend took a Birthing from Within class and had her baby naturally in the hospital with a doula and a midwife. My point is, it is good to be informed about options and that it is possible to have a good birthing experience, drugs or no.

My mother had two homebirths in the early '80s for many of the reasons you describe here; all the drugs and high C-section rates at the hospital made her decide to give birth at home with the help of a midwife. (Side note: I was born early Nov. 1, and I'm told my parents had trick-or-treaters coming to the door as she was in labor ... which I think is kind of hilarious.)

Sad how things haven't changed enough in nearly 30 years, though, isn't it? The Business of Being Born is certainly an educational film; I was completely fascinated with the different stories and choices the women and their partners made. I enjoyed reading Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf several years ago, it was very eye-opening.

Can't wait to hear the rest of your story. :-)

I just have to say to the woman above that I am glad her cesareans were positive experiences for her. Ask women who have had both vaginal and cesarean births and you will hear that a large majority consider the cesarean to have been the lesser experience, the harder experience, the one that often made connecting immediately harder. Not that they love their babies less, but the honest truth is when you have a cesarean you have something done TO you and literally and figuratively taken from you and when you birth vaginally YOU are powerful and strong and do something with the strength of your own mind, body and spirit. I never question the love mothers who have had cesareans feel for their children or the depth of their devotion and care of those babies, but the two experiences really are not comparable.

After my sister in law 6 years ago had terrible issues with her medicated birth I knew I'd never do it. She was so numb she had no urge to push at all, so my nephew was stuck in the birth canal with no oxygen, they had to pull him out with forceps, and he now has cerebral palsy along with many other health issues. I'm not blaming all of it on that (though I think it had a great deal to do with it), but I knew from then on I would have a natural birth. So with my first child I lived in another city and so many of the hospital staff were on board and helpful, that including of course my obgyn who was amazing throughout my birthing process. This time around it was different. I still had an amazing natural birthing experience, but every nurse that walked in was in shock and I was known for the next 30 hours as the lady who had her baby naturally which translates to "the crazy one over in room 2". I don't care that they thought that about me, but I am so shocked that it's that big of a deal to have a natural birth. It's a beautiful thing and such an empowering feeling. I had a crazy adrenaline rush afterwards and would never trade that to get rid of the pain. So, all that to say I am SO SO happy to hear that you had a natural birth and someone as influential as you is sharing this with the world. I cannot wait to hear the rest of your story!

I don't understand why your readers are so inclined to say negative things about "unnatural" births. As always, you are provocative, but some of these comments from your readers are so disappointing. I had a scheduled c-section and it went well, I bonded immediately and had such a high after birth, had a fast recovery, had no pain/tearing/bladder issues, and now have a perfect three year old. How dare someone tell me my experience wasn't as good as theirs? I've never even questioned it, but these comments are truly annoying.

It is so awesome to read this...

It's amazing when it clicks into place and suddenly MAKES SENSE as a phenomenal, beautiful and life affirming experience that you fully and actively participate in rather than a medical complication to sort out as quickly and easily as possible.

It is just like climbing a mountain or running a marathon. Not everyone wants to do it and a lot of people will think you are crazy if you do. But if you want to, and prepare yourself well, and then do it - well NOTHING compares to the feeling when you accomplish it. It is AMAZING.

Can;t wait for part 2. WELL DONE!

Hallelujah! (can I say that?) I went through the same kind of turnaround after the birth of my first child. I used to think that women who wanted a homebirth were absolutely unreasonable and had no idea what they were asking for. My second birth was at the hospital with midwife and doula (UofU), which was also my first HypnoBirth (you're welcome to put this on your list of crazy hippie ideas for now, just as long as you remember to look it up if you ever find yourself expecting 3rd child). That experience completely blew my mind and was VERY unlike my first birth, which was natural but so NOT joyful.

My journey to my best birth (so far) ended with a midwife attended homebirth. Yes, it was incredibly empowering, and everything about it finally made sense to me.

Ever since then (well, actually, since my second birth) I developed a painful fascination with pregnancy and birthing. A baby being born brings joy to my being, a mother feeling happy and empowered by the birth of her baby multiplies that joy tenfold. So, naturally, even before I get to read the whole birth story of baby Marlo, that fascinated-by-birth side of me is very pleased and happy knowing that this experience has opened a new world for you, Heather.

/p.s. there's a link to my last birth video in the left column of my blog. sorry, there's no nudity.

Thank you so much for writing about natural childbirth!! I will not have another child at least through my body, but I will definitely pick up the Ricki Lake book to see what she says.

I changed physicians at 6 months just so I would have a ob/gyn who wanted to honor my decison to have a natural birth. The outcome of that birth is another story which I will share about on my own blog...but I wholeheartedly believe in natural birth and letting go of the things the medical community think we need to give birth.

I can't wait for part II. :)

I read the pioneer book in this topic - the American Way of Childbirth by Jessica Mitford - as a teenager and that started me on the way to the sexuality class I ended up teaching at Berkeley - women needed to know what to call their hoohas when they needed a 'better' word and they needed to know that their bodies still worked and could be trusted to go through pregnancy and childbirth.

OOh I was totally self-righteous and hyped up on anger at the system of the patriarchy that would make me fit myself into the schedule of the doctor with the help of vacuums, episiotomies and c-sections. screw that right?

Ok, I have no kids yet. And I would not tolerate a lot of the crap they'd dish out on women who either don't know to ask or protest or are too overwhelmed to try. But when I think of childbirth... I think now about how I can manage to get a German doctor to agree to schedule a c-section as soon as I know I'm pregnant. :-)

The real point is of course: you knew your options, weighed them and then were supported in making your choice. Which is exactly what should happen. Bravo. Can't wait to read the rest.

first timer! What a great story - I went through a similar revelation; moved to Nz 7 months pregnant. Had normal American medical care all the way up to the week before I left. When I arrived in NZ it wasn't just the fact that I was going to have a midwife that shocked me. It was the whole removal from the "medicinal" approach of american health care and hospital. I, had been in the mind frame of drugs are good, there is no need for birth to be unpleasant, give me an epidermal just don't show me the needle. Over the remaining weeks of my pregnancy I was educated on all the options for pain relief during birth and even water births. I TOO thought pools were for hippies. With out rattling on too long. I labored at home all the way up to the last two hours - I was lucky enough to snag the one pool at the hospital and two hours later, I was holding my new baby. To be completely honest - I did have some gas brought in but I was not able to remember to suck - so my husband had a little for me - ha ha.

Im a convert, natural birth is a pretty cool thing, and no matter what a weak-ling you think you are, women are made for giving birth and as long as your having a healthy normal pregnancy, you should give it a try.

Boo to the holier-than-thou comments here (nothing like making other women feel bad for not meeting your personal ideals). Yeah to all the balanced comments where the plan didn't work out like you wanted or you knew your limitations and did what is best for both you and the baby.

Scary judgmental attachment parenting mothers (not all are scary, but those with agendas sure are) - please realize your choices are the best for YOU. Being preachy does not help your cause.

I'm so happy to finally be reading your labor story and CANNOT wait to read the rest. I like to think that you open comments to actually hear our opnions, or in the case, maybe the abridged version of our labor story.

In my case, I didn't have a birthing plan at all with the exception of 1. I wanted to be at home for as long as possible 2. I wanted to have a natural birth but would not punish myself if I did ask for drugs 3. I absolutely did not want an epidural and 4. my husband would cut the cord. That's it. I know me, and once my mind is made up that things will happen in a particular way, I can & often do FREAK OUT if the plan deviates. And knowing that there are too many variables when it comes to childbirth, I figured I'd just go the no-plan route. Whatever happens, happens. And that is so unlike me.

If you want to read the rest, my birth story is on my blog.

Congratulations again to you, Jon, & Leta. I look forward to many stories to come!

Most of the world has what Americans refer to as "natural births" without doulas or husbands to hold your hand through labor. It's just something you do and then get on with the rest of your life.

I'm glad it worked out for you the way you wanted. Can't wait to read the rest.

My first childbirth experience was so shocking I went from thinking I'd have a large family, to trying to come to terms with having an only child, simply so I didn't ever have to go through something so horrendous ever again. It was a natural childbirth that lasted three days, with the baby twisted her spine on my spine. I did fall pregnant a second time (not sure how that happened), but was so fearful of the labour I was already shaking and in tears before the contractions were even regular. My second labour happened so fast however, that it was all over in three hours, no drugs, no epidural, no gas. I couldn't believe how different two labours could be. I don't think you can choose or promote any one birthing option over the other as each experience is different and therefore warrents a different response. Love your blog though and applaud your honesty. Definately provides some food for thought. Hurry back with part two
Heidi.

I know you're busy and all, but bring on part TWO!! Can't wait to hear the story! Thank you for sharing this.

Can't wait to hear the rest!

Well done you for looking at options and choosing one that works for you. Better than being told this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/5810342/Women-should-go-thr...
I had my son by CS a year ago - no choice as I had complicaitons. Do I feel like I missed out on a bonding experience with my child - no.
I think I really comes down to a RIGHT TO CHOOSE not the actual choice made.

cheers
dani

I am glad you saw the light! I had a home birth and it was amazing. Planning another one this time around. Good for you going natural! woohoo!

I've teared up reading this. Not from jealousy. I had two epidurals, both necessary after many many hours labouring (48 hours and 27 hours) when I was exhausted. There is a place for them, but not as a first resort. I'm delighted for you that you had such a positive experience.

And I love the new masthead.

I saw that documentary only after my 2 c-sections, both of which were medically necessary. I'm not planning on any more children, but am fascinated now with women who choose natural child birth. It is what our bodies are for, no? I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of your story. Thanks.

Okay, so I'm a dooce lover, really! But as much as I love reading your stuff and I'm going to read part 2, I'm wondering whether you've become one of those, "natural labor is the only way to go, and anybody who does otherwise is just dumb, or hasn't researched, or doesn't get the big medal for a 'real' birth" people.

In case there's any confusion, I don't like those people, because if there's one thing wrong with womankind, it's that somehow everything is "if you don't do it this way, you suck" (i.e. natural labor, breastfeeding, working or not working, etc).

So I'm really really hoping you haven't become one of those people, because everyone should have their own choice without being made to feel like a wuss or an idiot.

(I do still have faith!!)

I can't wait to read the rest of this! I'm five weeks away from (hopefully) having a VBAC, and I'd love this birth experience to be different from my first.

ps love the new banner!

That's so wonderful! Unfortunately even the Dutch system of giving birth is medicalizing too (I'm from the Netherlands). Crazy thing is that I will never have a dentist fill a cavity without anestetics, but I would never voluntarily ask for it at childbirth (and didn't ;)

Loving your birth story so far and am so retro actively excited for you :)

Sarah

All the years before kids, I was ALWAYS saying to people, just hook me up on the epidural! Better yet, just give me the c-section right away! Then, I met someone that had her kids naturally (she is now a certified mid-wife in Maui). I thought she was nutty at first, but then I started to talk to her. When I got pregnant the first time, I really started to investigate the whole process, and I was determined to make my friend proud, having a birth with no drugs. I had both my girls in the hospital, but they were completely drug free. You feel so STRONG with births like these. Nothing can stop you! THANK YOU, THANK YOU for putting these thoughts of yours out to the world...so many women just don't listen, or take the time to find out that a pregnancy and birth is NOT something that needs to be FIXED by a doctor. It is a natural process, and just let your body do what it knows how to do.

Can't wait to hear the rest! I read all the books too and wanted to try natural but alas, the pain was too much for me...at least after my water broke, it wasn't too bad before that. I opted for drugs! LOL! However, we have an awesome hospital and I had just enough to take the serious edge off of the pain. I could still feel a bit...just not the "I think I'm doing to die" pain! ;-) Our second was a little more "typical" of hospital births...I was totally numb, sick to my stomach, blech..it wasn't that great and I didn't enjoy the experience as much. Although the lack of pain was quite nice...hee hee So I'm really looking forward to reading about your experience! If I could do it a third time (we're all done!), I might consider going natural....

I gave birth naturally twice and they were the proudest moments of my life!

Hey, all! I have a 9 month old son--before he was born I had an open mind about what would happen when we got to the hospital. I didn't know for sure what kind of pain medication I might want since I'd never had a baby before, so how could I decide something like that in advance? In the end, my water broke two weeks before my due date and when, after 12 hours my labor was not progressing, I was induced, and then it was discovered that my son was in a transverse presentation and the doctor had no luck turning him. I had a c-section.

The first point of this story is that I don't feel like I missed out on anything! I was was encouraged to (and was able to) nurse within one hour of delivery. The recovery was extremely painful, and while I have nothing to compare it to, I completely believe that recovering from a vaginal birth is easier. An easier recovery is the main reason I hope that a vaginal birth will be possible next time around.

The second point of this story is that I got exactly what I wanted from my birth experience: a healthy child! Everything else is just details.

For the birth of my child in March, I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (per recommendation of Wood a la Sweet Juniper). It definitely gave the confidence to know that my body could do this. That being said, I went into labor with the "wait and see" approach. I was going to try to get through it naturally b/c I wanted to know what it would feel like, but I having never gone through labor before, I wasn't really sure what I was setting myself up for.

Well, by the time I got to the hospital, I was 10 centimeters dilated and ready to push. I gave birth to my daughter 45 minutes later. I did all of my laboring at home. I am very thankful I had the opportunity to experience a natural birth. I do believe, wholeheartedly that Ina May's book helped me. As labor came on, I was not scared. I knew I could do it; I was meant to do it.

So, I know what you mean. It was a transforming experience for me. I have never had so much respect for my body as I did in the weeks after my daughter's birth. Even three and a half months later, I don't have a single negative thought about my physical self. Of course the "I should get more exercise" type of thinking still exists. But it is not because of the way that I look - it is because it is a nice thing I could do for my body. After all, it is amazing.

Congratulations on Marlo. She is beautiful.

Hurray!!!!!!!

I too, had the whole non-medicated in a hospital setting & it was a RUSH! what clinched it for me was a video clip amongst all the more traditional "hospital" birth clips where a woman who did it naturally talked about the natural high/endorphin/adrenaline rush equating to the feeling a marathon runner gets- well, that and my need to be in control/avoid needles.

Welcome Marlo! Can't wait to read the next installment, whenever you get time!

I ended up with a C-section after 32 hours of labor because my baby's head was stuck in my pelvis (he was born with a banana head). I am stoked to have another C-section. Sign me up.

I think it's great that you were so confident in your drug free birth though. I'm just going to say "To each his own"...

Wow. I had to scroll up halfway through that post to check what website I was reading. I thought I had been misdirected or something...

I never would have thought that you would come around so beautifully. It's wonderful to hear, and I can't wait for the rest of the story.

I'm 7 months preggo, so this post is particularly interesting for me. Is it a coincidence that another blogger I read regularly posted on a similar topic? hmmm... the writer at Minor Matters is an editor for The Times in South Africa. http://blogs.thetimes.co.za/minor/2009/07/14/pain-in-childbirth-professo...

I got on the birth bandwagon in my second pregnancy too. Except I was planning a hospital VBAC. I'm SO glad you found Your Best Birth in time and that it lead you to so many of the other great reads on birth, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for spreading the word about this book and what birth SHOULD BE LIKE. Birth is so messed up in this country I could just cry buckets into my keyboard.

I created a homebirth but in a hospital. I am proud to say that I birthed my child without drugs because my team of women were so strong that they really didn't let me have any. Believe me, at times I was begging but am so grateful that I managed to pull this crazy birth off.

My son was able to lift his head practically as soon as he popped out of my vagina. All because I didn't use any pain relief.

I studied the Bradley Method with my dear friend Jennifer as my birthing partner (I'm a single mama and did see the Business of Being Born during my 6th month of pregnancy.

Please pregnant women, consider birthing the way it should be.

I have loved you forever Dooce,but now you are my sister. Thank you for this wonderful support of something so dear to me.

I am so excited to hear how you got a birth experience you wanted. I think that is key. For me it was drugs all the way, and I had a great experience, easy recovery and plan to do it again. With that said, I am only into it because it worked FOR ME!

I think the debate about childbirth should not be about "who did it better" but instead about every woman, everywhere, getting to have the experience she wants. The de-medicalization, if that is even a word, of the birth experience needs to be investigated even for women who choose hospital births. Drugs, or not, childbirth is not an inconvenient life-threatening condition and the medical community needs to stop treating it as such.

Looking forward to your story.

This is so interesting to me because I went through something similar. I had a bad experience with an epidural during the birth of my first child (probably due to scar tissue in my lower back from past back surgery) and I really wanted to avoid another epidural with my second. My prenatal yoga teacher mentioned she was also a hypnobirthing instructor. That inspired me to google information about it and I signed up for a class.

Unfortunately I didn't have exactly the experience I wanted the second time around either. I was induced because of concerns about the baby's health and the pitocin contractions were too much for me - I did end up having to get an epidural again. The hypnobirthing breathing and relaxation methods did help a lot though before I got the epidural and I wasn't really upset that it didn't go the way I wanted, because I did have a healthy baby and the experience was overall better than the first time.

I am almost 2 months pregnant and have yet to decide what sort of birth I want. I was always a believer in epidurals, until I heard all the horror stories that epidurals can cause - headaches, fluid leaking from your brain into your spinal canal, etc. etc. Not my idea of a spiritual experience. And pitocin. Our bodies naturally make oxytocin. If we aren't pumping out enough to go into full fledged labor, it isn't time to have the baby. And episiotimies. WHAT is the reason for this heinous procedure? And FORCEPS or VACUUMS???? Are you kidding me? How can it be considered remotely safe to pull my baby from my vajayjay with a VACUUM??? So here I sit, 7 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and I am questioning what to do. Without an epidural, won't I be in excruciating pain? Without pitocin, won't I be in labor for days?

In the end, I think I will probably hire a doula and do the natural thing - but I have never felt the pain of labor before and I am afraid I will chicken out. I have experienced massive kidney stones and got through that without medicine, so I can only hope I have the nuts to get through this!

Thanks for sharing your story, and that natural childbirth is possible and it is not as scary as we might think.

Hurrah! I am so happy to hear you talk about your decision to go natural! I had a natural birth also, and it is really hard to hear people make all the comments that are similar to what you USED to think. I am glad that you are sharing your thoughts and experiences, since you reach such a large audience.

I am loving reading this. I had my first baby in February and was given The Business of Being Born by my midwife friend (she specializes in homebirths). I was the birth partner for my niece when she had her first baby at home in water - AMAZING... Being older I had to have a hospital birth - and like you researched and read up on the state of affairs on births in this country - SHOCKING... the rest of the western world still use midwifes and promote natural birth - and actually have much lower infant and mother mortality rates than we do - why, because we're all having operations and lots of anesthesia, making ourselves higher risk. Anyhow, I had a doula and did a natural birth - and it rocks and is empowering and something I would never change - GO HEATHER... I would also recommend to others expecting they do a Bradley Birth Method class... partnered childbirth with your husband - very good!

I hated the Business of Being Born. But, oddly enough, it got under my skin and changed my world view, as well. I was all about the epidural. In fact, I wanted to be knocked out and woken up after the whole thing was over.

But there I was, watching with horror as women crouched on their floors and lay in their tubs, thinking "I will NEVER do this..."

And here I am, about to hire a doula and do this naturally. I'm still going to the hospital, because I honestly think that is the safest place to be, just in case.

I look forward to hearing the rest of the story. I need some reassurance that I too, am not crazy and that I can do this!

I don't usually feel compelled to comment, but I just felt a little kinship with you after this post. (I can't wait to read the rest of the story.) I had my 1st baby in a hospital in California. I didn't know any better, and I was deathly afraid of the pain, even more than I was afraid of needles. I threw up several times during labor, but after I got the epidural I felt fine. At least at the time, the next day I was sore in places I didn't know existed. I felt like a semi-truck ran over all my lady parts. My recovery in general was awful. Again, being my first baby I thought that was normal.

4 years later I was pregnant with baby #2 while living in Utah. I had read a little about natural childbirth, but wasn't convinced it was worth the excruciating pain. Then I saw an ad for a birth center and decided to check it out. I met Rebecca Williams and this woman literally changed my life. (Her website is: http://www.greatexpectationsbc.com/)

Since I know you probably don't really care about all the details of my experience, I will just sum it up by saying that my natural childbirth with Rebecca is what I would consider one of the best day of my life, maybe THE best. I have never felt more like I was going to die, yet I never felt more alive. The high after childbirth was a spiritual and transformative experience. The recovery was amazing.

I always want to share with people who are thinking about it, so if any of your readers are on fence about going natural, I can be one more voice to help them decide.

As the mother of two homebirthed kids, may I just say:

Welcome to the dark side...

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!

No, really--glad you did some research for yourself instead of just leaving it to the doctors... What do they teach them in medical school? It's not too pretty, is it?!

I'm a home-birther times two and loved reading this post. Thanks.

To quote, Rachel Shepard, "Thank you, Dooce. From an official homebirth nutso - Thank you."

I had both of mine "natural". I just kept thinking of the story of the lady in Mozambique who had her child in a tree surrounded by flood waters with her four other children and mother-in-law in the tree with her. It made the hospital part seem easy. A lot of people look at me as if I have a screw loose when I tell them that's how I did it but it is not like I am the first woman in the universe to give birth...It's all about trusting your body. It knows what it is supposed to do.

Congratulations on your second and enjoy the ride. It just gets better from here.

When I was pregnant, my husband and I also watched "The Business of Being Born" and I was absolutely shocked. And I felt the same way. Maybe the whole natural birth/doula thing isn't so HIPPY after all. The statistics are there.

I lost mine and didn't get to go all the way through, but if I get prego again, I plan on it.

I'm glad you're taking the opportunity to open some eyes.

awesome. so glad to hear you talk about a topic i feel so strongly about and a topic that women do not talk about enough in a positive light.

7 weeks ago today, i gave birth naturally to my second son. both of my labors were hard yet unbelievably spiritual and empowering - i even want to do it all again but we are done.

thank you heather. you have already influenced the minds of women to birth in such an impotant way.

I am still astounded that Ricki Lake has produced something of value.

Wow, great post! I'm like you. I've had two children. The first I went into labor and labored at home for quite a while, got to the hospital when I was having contractions every 4-5 minutes and asked for the epidural now please! That baby had a lot of issues getting out, she was in distress, her heart rate was dropping a lot, she had a monitor screwed into her head. I had a near level-4 episiotomy because they were in a rush to get her out.

My second pregnancy, I just couldn't take it. I was walking around 4 cm dilated for weeks. And I had a one year old to take care of, so we scheduled an induction. I felt my care was better this time around. I had a nurse at my side the entire time (there was a lot of beeping and waiting during my first labor, as the baby's heart rate would plunge and no one would show up to check on us). No episiotomy this time, a less scary experience.

Looking back, I do regret that I scheduled the induction. I'm okay with the fact that I did it because it helped making sure my mom got here to watch the older kid while I had the baby, but I missed the spontaneity of "Wow, I'm in labor! It's really happening!"

I am planning to go for my third and most likely final pregnancy in about a year. I've been struck with baby fever like crazy, and I've been watching tons of labor and delivery shows. I watched the Freebirthing show you discussed in a prior post, and like you, was appalled. And I saw The Business of Being Born last weekend. It definitely gave me a lot to think about. I'm not sure I completely agree with everything but my mind is a LOT more open to a natural birth (in a hospital, my house is messy enough without having to worry about cleaning up afterbirth, thank you very much). I won't deny myself an epidural the next time around, but I want to wait it out longer than I did with my first, or at least try. I want to see how much I can take. I want to see if being in a bathtub really does help the pain. And maybe I will be able to go without the epidural, who knows?

But I am 100% with you on this. It's funny how much your mind can change about such things, even when you've had experience.

I was totally against having a natural birth too...in the end I actually had a homebirth and LOVED it. Very empowering. It was a difficult homebirth too, but once my little guy was out, I couldn't believe what I had just done, and what my body was capable of doing.

Wow - good for you. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. I had a terrible first labor: 29 hours, 4.5 of that pushing, vacuum...needless to say I had a 9 and a half pound baby who was sunny-side up and I'm not a large woman. So, this time around, I considered going and trying for a natural birth again, but instead opted for the repeat c-section. Good thing we did b/c my fluid was very low at 39 weeks when I had him and if not for the c-section would have gone undetected. Oh, and my 2nd son, well he was 9 lbs. 15 oz. and again, sunny side up...let me again remind you that I am not a large woman - top birth weight was only 145 and I am 5'5"...so in my case, I would have been the woman who went to the field to birth the baby and never came back. I'm all for natural birth but I'm glad you decided to go that route at the hospital putting your health and the baby's health as your top priority. Hope you post part 2 sooner than later. Thanks for your blog - you rock.

Oh, Heather, you converted! I just dropped a bottle of patchouli in the mail for you. You have to wear it if you want to be in the club. You can scrub it off in the parking lot after the meetings over and we ceremoniously blow out all the candles and incense.

I had the opposite experience. I had the doula and the midwife and the hospital and no IV and no unnecessary intervention written all over my birthplan.

I had no idea the midwife was going to be the one to break my water and ruin the whole laboring in the hot tub bliss. If she hadn't have done that I wonder if my son would have had his cord around his neck. Maybe he was taking his dear sweet time bc he was trying to untie that darn knot he'd knitted when he was doing flips for the last three months.

I dunno. But I am so proud of you for having an open mind and trying the drug free birth. Waiting for Part Two!!

Heather and Jon, Congratulations on Marlo's birth! Heather, taking that courageous step to pursue natural labor (even in a hospital setting) is difficult, and surprisingly controversial. It is one of the things I am most proud of, and I hope you will feel that way, too. Just imagine what happened when we then turned around and told everyone our new baby boy wasn't going to be circumcised!

I really enjoyed that book, as well. I was in the same boat as you - wanting the epi, thanks! I had the classic hospital birth - including c section (yay) and am definately rethinking the classic system we have in place for child birth.

The way you changed your mind about birth is very encouraging. I hope you read this comment; and I hope you can keep your mind open long enough to see that there are many other health issues where 'normal' Americans think inside their box. Not just medicalized birthing, but also things like vaccines and antidepressants. There are more fulfilling ways to live rather than under the cold hand of medicine. I hope the right books keep falling open in your hands.

As someone who will probably have a baby in the next few years, I'm really, really interested in this story. Thanks!

Okay. So I am 32 weeks pregnant today, with child #2. Only the last couple of weeks have I seen the light at the end of the tunnel. To top it off I am an Australian woman who lives in Abu Dhabi in the UAE - so never haven given birth in a foreign country before makes it a little more daunting. But chins up and all that.

I had my 9 pound 6 ounce daughter 5 years ago, drug-free - well that's not counting a few puffs of the 'gas' and hope to do the same this time around.

I'm now going to go back and look at all that Ricki Lake stuff you had links to. I hope it puts me in a right frame of mind. Cheers.

My daughter is 8. My labor was 'uncoordinated.' The docs turned off the epidural/meds when my 'pushing' was unproductive. There was a shift change of nurses at the worst time. When the new team came in, everything was a frenzy and out came the vacuum forceps, and my daughter was born healthy, for which I am grateful, but it was so scary and confusing. Anyway - I just want to say 'thank you' for sharing your experiences with such thoughtful expression and humor and irreverance....laughter is truly the best medicine!!!!

I reeeeally hope it's Part 1 of a 10-part series. I'm not even joking. I wish I lived in Utah or you lived in Toronto so that I could ask you all the questions that are burning in my brain...

...I guess I'll read the book instead.

Of course I want to offer my congratulations, if you are even reading this far down into the comments to see it!

First I think that as long as you are happy with the way your birth went, then I think that is what is most important. But I'd just like to offer one thought for all the natural-birth-is-the-only-way people - giving birth is the tiniest (and in my opinion, least important) part of having and raising a child. All the time and effort that goes into planning the perfect birth scenario reminds me of how overdone wedding planning is - all for just a day - when in fact the real work is in making the marriage work. Same thing applies to birthing babies - once you have the baby, that's when the work begins and that's the most important part - as a new mom, you are your baby's best source of EVERYTHING - food, love, care, changing diapers, soothing, etc. and you should have a plan for this more than you have a plan for giving birth.

am so happy for you!!!!! i had my first child in a hospital, and received capable care, but faced the experience with fear and very little knowledge

i birthed my two younger babes at home with a midwife
(i don't believe you need to be at home to have a birth that is beautiful and fulfilling)

i now work as a doulatographer
offering support, and photos of the experience to families in giving birth

i am just so excited to read about your experience and can't WAIT to read the rest!!!

thank you for sharing !!!

Just be careful for those considering this. I'm one of the statistics that lost her son and the pain I carry, even 9 years later is unbearbale....

Heather-

Welcome to the dark side! I had a natural childbirth with the help of a doula and I tell people all the time I'd rather give birth 50 times than go through pregnancy (my pregnancies were horrid). I felt empowered and amazing and I remember absolutely everything about my labor and deliveries. I signed up for natural child birth twice, knowing fully what I was in for the second time around. It was a beautiful experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Except for that pregnancy thing that comes before it.

Congratulations!

I have never given birth but I swear to go, my uterus just snapped shut while reading this.

Two of my three were deliveries were completely natural. So much better than with an epidural. Can't wait to hear the rest.

And now, for some odd reason, I'm craving Outback.

i think we need a labor timeline like last time.

2:00 contractions

2:04 janet jackson's boob

2:06 more contractions

2:07 janet's boob again

I can't wait to read more! I'm somewhat leery of unnecessary medicating to begin with, and after hearing tons of moms who did epidurals talk about how they had trouble bonding with their babies and were kind of out of it after childbirth, I was determined to go natural. No hypnobirthing, Lamaze, or anything, just my own iron will and some deep yoga breathing.

And it was amazing.

I loved being PRESENT for the entire experience. I didn't have a moment of regret, despite the pain. And the moment when I saw my beautiful, beautiful son... magic.

Back when I had my kids (28 years ago) it was all natural childbirth. We got no shots of anything to stop the pain. I also felt like I was going to die but it couldn't have been that bad since I had 3 kids.

Totally feeling you on this! Not to cast aspersions on any woman who chooses to go the medical route with labor and delivery (especially after having gone through it myself now), but I am completely convinced that our bodies were made to labor and deliver children, and many of our health issues stem from a patriarchal medical system that has ignored that fact for generations. And don't even get me started on doctors who don't support breast feeding! So looking forward to hearing about your labor and delivery.
<3 from the new mom of Alma Rose (9 months old now)

# 436, Jennifer.

THIS.

Chiming in to say that I also agree with #436 (Jennifer). I don't get this whole "my birthing experience was superior to your birthing experience" sentiment expressed by some of the commentators. Heather, I'm glad your experience was a positive one. I'm guessing the majority of women feel pretty elated (albeit exhausted)after giving birth.

My biggest regret: having a medicalized American birth (including c-section) first time round and consequently being pressured by my (Americanised, medical) OBGYN to have a SECOND cs instead of a VBAC when my second baby was 10 days late.

That's wicked cool. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story!

I had my first in a free-standing birth center and my second at home, and I would never choose to do it any other way.

My mom had my youngest brother at home and I was present for that birth, so natural childbirth has always been part of my world view and how I thought my babies would come into the world. I'm fascinated by your story of being someone who thought she wanted meds, and then changed her mind. I can't wait to hear the rest!

I'm 28 and so far, no kiddos. My partner (Lindsay) and I absolutely ADORE children and I (being the brave one who cannot fathom the thought of leaving the Earth without my own little precious gift to the entire population) will be trying to get pregnant via invetro in the next couple of years. I plan on doing a natural childbirth and have ALWAYS wanted it that way. Working in a hospital really turns you against modern medicine, well some of it anyhow.

Kick ass to hear that you had a great experience with birth, sans drugs! I can't wait until it's my turn! Your spawns are GORGEOUS!

Off topic for this post, I am obsessed with the Chuck Photo from 7.7. Marlo is lying on Chuck and gazing at him with the most angelic expression. And Chuck looks so thoroughly upset. It's BRILLIANT!

Please, please make posters of that photo and offer them for sale, like you do your Chuck calendars. It would be wonderful!

Oh, and I'm loving your labor story; can't wait for the next installment. Carry on!

First, I have so much appreciation for your posting of your experiences, somehting which I believes helps to foster bonds and connectedness among us as mothers and mothers-to-be. However, I believe that from reading many of the comments, we are all too quick to reach for dogmatic assessments of each others' experiences. I would like to highlight my appreciation for comment #416, Lara's and share my similar experience.

I too planned for a "natural" drug-free birth, though in a hospital setting, to be prepared for any freak occurances. I practice yoga, and my husband and I were dilligent about our breathing exercises. As I approached the end of 41 weeks of pregnancy I made it clear to my OB that I really only found being induced acceptable if it was truly medically necessary. After a few weeks of false labor, some acupressure and getting it on nightly with my husband, I finally had my first real contractions a little before 8pm on a thursday night. I labored at home until 10AM the next morning, and finally went to the hosital when my contractions were 5-1-1. In fact iwas 4 centimeters dilated and ecstatic. But I ended up stuck at 4 centimeters... and as the hours wore on I too was dizzy with pain. Unlike others I was not "euphoric." I had tried every yoga position known to man, and multiple hot showers, but I realized that I had been up all night after a full day, essentially going without sleep for over 24 hours and at the rate I was laboring, I would never have the energy to push. Actually, as an insomniac towards the end of my pregnancy, I hadn't really slept in days. In short I was spent -this coming from someone who is quite used to not sleeping for a few days at a time - and I wasn't anywhere near transition.

I was lucky to have doctors and nurses I trusted. No one foisted drugs on me, but I would be lying if I didn't say that I needed the sleep that the epidural I eventually asked for alloted me. After catching a few hours of zzzzs, and with a very limited dose of pitocin, I finally hit 9 centimeters, and started pushing around 7pm. Lucy was born at 8:15. I made clear that I did not want an epesiotomy, though I did have a significant 4th degree tear.

My recovery from the epidural and the natural tearing was difficult. It took weeks to heal. I suffered from wicked bad baby blues too. But my daughter latched on quickly and we are still breastfeeding like champs.

The point of my long-winded diatribe, is that in my case I really do not believe I would have had the physical strength to labor for nearly 24 hours and then push my daughter out. Would I allow the epi again? I don't know. I know my mother too had a fairly long labor with me, it probably runs in the family. I just caution all of my friends to trust their own instincts about their birth, regardless of where that takes them. Just as they must trust their own instincts when it comes to nursing, babies not sleeping through the night, and every thing else that mothers have opinions on.

If I wanted a spiritual experience, I would pop a lid of LSD, not venture into the abyss of "Natural Birth" when there are a 1,001 things that could go wrong. I don't want to hear how "Brave" you "natural birthers" are, I am brave too - brave to make a decision to hold my childs health over and above any "personal experience" of mine. This is the first of many selfless acts a parent has to perform - no need to romanticize the act or canonize the mother for experiencing pain - as if it will make her a MORE enlightened parent or change ANYTHING about the demeanor of the baby (really, no matter how you give birth - will the baby still need a change and a feed at 2am? DUH?!) - so really, what difference does it make? All I wanted was a healthy baby and thankfully, that's what I got. (in addition to the thrill of puking on an intern - yay!) Plus, do you really want your husband to wonder where to dispose of a placenta or ruminate about cleaning the blood ring out of the bathtub? Party over - EEEWWWW!!!

Amen, Amen, Amen.

i am so excited that a.)you experienced this and b.)with all of the people who follow you, you are now going to share it.

it is a like a dream come true for me.

yay!!!!

I had my baby a day after you (my first) and I really wanted a natural labor as possible because of the same book and movie (and lots of research). My husband was on board too.

But, I turned out to be part of the 10% of women who's water broke before any contractions even appeared. So guess what? I was induced, which led to a VERY long labor. Exhausted, I requested the epidural, which slowed things down even more and ended up pushing for 2 hours and needing "assistance" in more ways than one.

It was one failure after another. And now a month out, I'm finally able to reflect on the whole experience with sadness and frustration, but relief that my next one will be completely different and possibly, the way I had envisioned for this birth.

Welcome to the club!

Heather, I am proud of you. Now I just ask that you not be so judgemental of other people's views on other topics. I try not to be judgemental about your use of depression medications during pregnancy because I know you have made an informed decision. If you can be open-minded about this, be open-minded about all opinions and choices.

Yay! I'm a homebirth mom to two, I can't wait to hear the rest!

600 comments later, and no one will read this I'm sure. I totally didn't read the preceeding. ;)

Anyhoo, I just wanted to say that I was totally on the homebirths are for crazy hippies bandwagon when I had my first. My third was planned for home (had change of venue before labour) and my fourth *was* born at home. Sooo...have a couple more kids and you too can have a homebirth. Ha.

"Both he and I will go to our graves filled with an inordinate amount of unproductive anger, but a smile will mark our faces because we will feel so justified. So RIGHT."

Awesome :D