The Armstrong Bathroom Makeover Catastrophe
UPDATE: If you don't normally read the comments on these posts I highly recommend you make an exception in this case. Holy crap, the nutters have come out!
Two years ago when we moved into this house (a process chronicled here, here, here, and here) we knew that at some point we were going to do an entire remodel of the downstairs bathroom. We envisioned knocking down a wall, tearing out every fixture, installing a luxurious bathtub, and doubling the size of the shower. But like with many remodeling ideas, this one repeatedly got knocked on its ass when we realized that simple things like "removal of a wall" would first require completion of a series of other projects. Like say, the blood sacrifice of the first born child and agreeing to name the second one Wells Fargo.
So we've lived with the cramped space and rearranged our lives so that it no longer seems weird that the one bathtub in the house is not on the same floor as the bedrooms. But then a couple of months ago I got knocked in the head with a bowling ball of nesting hormones and realized we could make the space more livable with just a few small upgrades. This happened to coincide with a trip to Ikea where Jon spotted a bathroom vanity that he loved, and just like that we embarked on a bathroom makeover. Without any preparation or research whatsoever. While I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy. Because we don't hate each other enough already.
Let's start this journey with a few pictures of the bathroom before we used it to dismantle our marriage:
Now, let me just go ahead and point out that Jon and I had a conversation wherein he acknowledged that I was not going to be able to help him like he might need me to, that I was so uncomfortably pregnant and clumsy in my body that having me in that tiny space was going to cause all sorts of trouble, and that he might need to call someone else for backup. That conversation went something like this:
Me: "You know I'm not going to be able to do any heavy lifting, right? RIGHT?"
Jon: "Right."
Me: "No, seriously. I CANNOT HELP YOU. You get that, right?"
Jon: "I get it."
Me: "So when you reach a breaking point and ask for my help, I'M GOING TO BRING UP THIS CONVERSATION. And then I'm going to make fun of you on my website."
Jon: "Heather, there isn't that much to do. It's going to be fine."
This reminds me of the book I want to write about remodeling. It would go, "Nothing will be fine. Now go re-read that first sentence. The end."
The first thing to derail our schedule was the discovery that the previous owners had not tiled underneath the vanity. Yes, we could have special-ordered that hexagonal tile from various places, but the quickest turnaround time we could find was more than two weeks, and HELL if I was going to go 14 days in third trimester pregnancy having to climb a flight of stairs every time I needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. So we compromised, installed a square tile that was similar in color, and have trained our eyes not to focus on the glaring difference:
And then I broke my toe. And while Jon was assembling the terribly constructed Ikea vanity he pulled a muscle in his back and couldn't move his torso in any way for three days. But it looks nice, right?
That brings us to the 700-lb mirror and piece of crap light. I'm going to condense this story into one bite-size paragraph because otherwise I'll get going and next thing you know I'll have used up enough hard drive space to fill a warehouse the size of Michigan:
The wall behind the vanity is in no way whatsoever a level surface, so what should have taken less than an hour sort of snowballed into a three-day expletive-laden tug-of-war between an exhausted man and his basketball-shaped wife. With the man shouting LEAN INTO IT! LEAN INTO IT! and the wife going REMEMBER THAT CONVERSATION?! REMEMBER THAT CONVERSATION?! And at one point we both wanted to impale each other with a Phillips-head screwdriver. Fortunately, it was at that point that I had to go pick up Leta from school, and figuring we could both use a break I decided to run a few errands while I was out. Except I guess Jon was in no mood for a break, and Internet, I have saved on my iPhone the most desperate set of text messages ever transmitted between a married couple. I would share them here with you, but I fear Jon might not ever speak to me again. And I don't want to raise this baby alone.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
1. Milla said:
that orange rug is the hotness! MUST. GET.
2. Jennifer said:
That vanity is beyond awesome. And the rug? So. Freaking. Cool.
3. Maternal Mirth said:
You guys wanna help us remodel our Scottsdale home? Hilarity is the only pre-qualification you guys seem to have.
4. Kathy C. said:
Oh, MY. Gorgeous. You guys have the best taste in every thing.
5. Denise said:
Wow....I usually like what you guys do as far as decorating/remodeling goes, but this.....not so much. I think it's that funky wrong tile under the vanity. That would drive me NUTS.
6. Anonymous said:
All totally awesome except the tile. I'm not sure my eyes would ever be THAT trainable!!!!
7. kjw said:
I'd definitely snag my toes on those little vanity feet. Love the wall art. :)
8. Kendall said:
This is making me dread the eventual remodeling of our downstairs bathroom. I just KNOW it will be a nightmare.
9. Phoo-D said:
I love the orange highlights, and the tall faucets are great too. Nothing in a bathroom bugs me more than bumping my hands against the back of the sink when trying to wash them under a short squatty faucet. Great job!
10. Lorena said:
This brings back fond memories of our own remodel--except our family was remaking the entire house. At one point we didn't have a kitchen and were cooking food in a toaster oven in the laundry room. It was festive. And then someone installed a beam in the ceiling incorrectly and when my younger sister was walking around the dining room one morning a chunk of celing fell on her, burying her under a moutain of fluffy insulation and plaster. Good times :)
11. Kristan said:
The vanity is cool, but I think y'all need to push the orange rug over the line where the two tiles meet, because the difference is HUGE and awkward...
Also, I'm confused: if you only replaced the vanity, how did you solve any of your problems?
12. Jaycie said:
I think I would have waited the two weeks for the tile...pregnant or not, that tile is UNSIGHTLY.
13. Kristan said:
Then again, y'all are giants, so maybe the angle you're seeing things at helps hide the tile thing...
14. deebook said:
How long until coco gets at those loose rolls of t.p.? lol. My bathroom doesn't even look as good as your pre-remodel...
15. Ingrid said:
Love ya Dooce, and I usually love how you decorate, but I gotta say, I'm scratching my head a bit with this one. Seems silly to me to put so much work into a remodel--the whole point to which was to make a room look better--and use those mismatched tiles.
Whatever, though, not my bathroom. And I do love the new mirror and the removal of that gigantic light fixture.
16. Elaine at Lipstickdaily said:
Rug is nice. Tile is . . . geometrical. You're brave . . . and as insane as I was when we decided to remodel our entire home (as in we had to move out) during my high risk pregnancy. Suuuurre it'll be done before the baby comes. Project late, baby early . . . glad that's over!
17. Amanda said:
I think it looks great! Love the rug especially. (And the tile looks fine - don't listen to the haters.)
18. Angela said:
LOVE the vanity!
We're moving in 6 weeks and my rule is, "I will NOT help you move ANY furniture into the elevator". I doubt he'll remember it come moving day...
19. Scott said:
Don't take this wrong way, but I'm so glad I'm not married. Especially to a pregnant woman.
20. Ingrid said:
Also--I'm confused---it could just be the angle of the photos, but in the "before" pictures, the bathroom looks a lot bigger!
21. NaysWay said:
Remodeling always brings out the worst in people - ESPECIALLY married couples. I can't believe you guys put yourselves through that and are still alive.
Nice bathroom, though. (hehe)
22. Katrin S. said:
I still am at a loss as to why bathroom re-models cost upwards of $20 K.
But I guess I'm just unwilling to face reality. Like the old ladies in the writers workshop I run who went totally apoplectic when I told them that typing up a page of their work will cost about $10 an hour (if they're lucky) and they screamed: WHAT? THAT USED TO COST A QUARTER!!! OR A DIME! TOPS!
23. beyond said:
oooh, i love hexagonal tiles. so nice and old-fashioned. i was going to write that you can hardly see the difference between the tiles, but you can. and why would i lie to you when we haven't even met? however i don't think it would bother me because the bathroom as a whole looks really great. (maybe you could position that lovely rug differently?)
24. Caroline said:
Call me Pandora, but I want to see those awesome text messages. C'mon, Jon. Let us have a look. They can't be THAT bad, can they? :o)
Heather... once again, you rock the blog. Mahalo!
25. randi said:
crazy it might seem... but beautiful ya'll have made! i love it... so gorgeous!!!
26. Ashley said:
I'm with some of the others...I think I liked the pre-remodel better...I would have only changed your faucet and ALL tile! I can't really see the new light fixture in the pictures...but old bathroom did look bigger..maybe pics were taken at different angles?
27. Noelle said:
I actually like the difference in tile. It's a little odd, but I do like it. GO YOU!
It works with the room...
I think I'm alone in thinking that, though.
28. Jack & Jill Put Up A Blog said:
Looks very nice and refreshing...unlike the experience for you all. Your taste is so clean, I love it!! I find that remodeling is a series of compromises...getting further and further away from the original idea. With that said I must say I miss it!!
29. Stacey said:
Looks good, you two.
Way to go, Jon!
30. Mosie said:
Y'all have done some cool stuff to other parts of your house, but this bathroom looked way better before, and that vanity is UGLY. There's modern, and then there's ugly. The vanity is ugly. And the tile is horrendous. Hope you don't plan on trying to sell the house anytime soon because you guys seriously need to go back to square one with this project.
31. Shnerfle said:
Is it wrong that I am dying to read those text messages?
32. kalisa said:
When we did a slight bathroom remodel in our old house, we took down the big flat hotel-style mirror and discovered the same problem - that the wall was not flat. So the last owners? To compensate? PUMPED THAT FOAMY STUFF THAT HARDENS INTO STUFF THAT LOOKS LIKE FOAM BUT FEELS LIKE CEMENT BETWEEN THE MIRROR AND THE WALL. Good times.
33. MotherProof said:
It looks lovely. I hope Jon's back is feeling better in time to help with all the heavy lifting you're about to throw his way...
34. Kristen said:
I am so in love with that vanity that I am convincing my husband, that we need it, or I will die w/o it!
35. The crazy suburban mom said:
Ugh, Ikea. Not a lucid direction in any package I've ever gotten from them. Once took me 40 minutes to put together a 10 inch paper lamp with about 5 parts.
It's like they translate directions from Swedish into English using Japanese as some weird middle language.
I've never been able to help anyone with anything from Ikea without a good deal of luck, Xanax and a gag.
Peace.
36. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said:
That book you'd like to write? That is EXACTLY how 150% of our home projects go. WHAT A COINCIDENCE.
37. Becky said:
I love the vanity. And I never thought of putting the Orla Kiely canister in the bathroom. Cute! And since we're noticing things, the Orla Kiely bowl on the back of the potty! Yes, I am a little Kiely-obsessed at the mo'.
38. A. said:
Looks great! Love the vanity, but I think that some time in the future you should re-tile the rest of the room with the rectangular tiles under the vanity. (Because your marriage hasn't already gone through enough of a strain, right?!) They just seem to match your esthetic much more than the hexagonal tiles do. Anyhow, good work!
39. Karen said:
Despite the pain of it all, it came out gorgeous!
40. Annie said:
I don't understand why anyone feels it necessary to tell you that what you did with your bathroom is ugly.
----
If you don't like it? Keep your thoughts to yourself. Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?
41. Habitual said:
You can't leave the tile like that!!!! Go tell Jon!
We just got a quote to remodel our bathroom, replacing the fixtures in their same locations and keeping the walls in place. So, basically rip out the biggest tub in the entire world and replace it with a stand-up shower. The quote does NOT include: plumbing fixtures, light fixtures, tile or painting (those are all items WE have to supply, they will install) and it was $12,500. What recession?
42. Brianne said:
Aside from all of this hullabaloo that you guys had to go through - you have SUCH GREAT taste in decor. You should get this side internet job during which you just look at cute stuff and tell people how to decorate their rooms. They can go buy it all and assemble it all and put it all in working order. Wouldn't that be great?
You have my sincerest sympathy for all you guys had to go through just for this one project. And as a soon-to-be first time homebuyer, you have succeeded in scaring me shitless.
You rock!
43. Claire said:
move that extra toilet paper closer to the toilet. Believe me,
44. Aileen said:
I've liked your past remodels but this one...not too much. The "before" pic looks way better. That said, to each his own & if you like it, that's what counts.
45. Margie said:
Am thinking I have to agree with some of the other folks, liked the pre-transformation better. The floor tiles would drive me nuts!!. only thing I would have changed is the that big light . . but then it isn't my bathroom and as long as you guys like it that is all that matters.
46. natalie said:
does the extra toilet paper get dog hair on it? never know where to store mine in my tiny bathroom with a constantly shedding dog.
looks great btw!
47. Liesel said:
So... where'd you get the astronaut costumes?
48. J. Bo said:
For a "quickie" redecorate/remodel (that is to say, one that doesn't involve tearing down walls and sacrificing children), you guys did great. I think the tile is an interesting geometric contrast AND, to quote The Dude, that rug really ties the whole room together.
49. Amy said:
Oh, do I feel your pain...my husband and I moved into a new house at the end of February, when I was 24 weeks pregnant, and our efforts since that time to select furniture, decorate, and complete a variety of other new-house projects has necessitated the hiring of a referee, I mean decorator, so that we do not KILL each other. I swear, I'm finding that this whole nesting instinct thing is making me just want. things. finished. regardless of what's involved.
Good for you for getting this project out of the way!
50. Hokie Deb said:
-->My marriage has now survived two complete bathroom remodels and thankfully, we only have two bathrooms. The second one was with a 1-year-old in the house who didn't want to be anywhere but in the bathroom that had no floors, walls or fixtures. It's been a year and I'm glad it's finished.
Your new bathroom looks great.
http://thaxtonfam.blogspot.com
51. Lori Magno said:
I love the new look. Thanks for documenting the madness. Perhaps I'll delay refinishing the kitchen hardwood floor until never. Can everyone just chill now so that both parents are in good working order for the new kid?
52. sbk said:
Michigan! Whooooo!
53. Margarita said:
That is such a gorgeous before and after shot. Before it was a simple bathroom, after it is modern, minimalist and warm at once. It's simply gorgeous, good job - and while pregnant!
54. Lily said:
I really love what you did, you guys have amazing taste. Only I think I would make use of all that bright light in there and paint the walls a color like pale orange or a shimmering lime or celery ice green ala benji moore.& I wouldn't use semi-gloss I would use eggshell or flat paint too... but, that's just me.
: )
Dear Heather, I just finished your, "It Sucked & Then I Cried" book & loved it. I can't wait to share it with friends. You are a natural born storyteller.
55. mommica said:
Why are some of your commenters such assholes?
P.S. The vanity is hot.
56. terry said:
i have that same hexagonal tile in my bathroom!
and call me crazy, but i actually like the different tile under the vanity. seriously.
and it's posts like this that keep me coming back here.
57. Lara said:
Send Jon to Nashville; I'm not currently pregnant but I do need help with remodeling my bathroom and I will not help with any heavy lifting no matter what.
58. Anne said:
I adore the new look (even more so seeing the documentation of what went into it)! Truly an inspiration for whenever I own a house. Simply adore your style. :)
59. Joe in Australia said:
It's actually something of a relief to see an occasion where things haven't gone well. I know you really do work hard on renovation, but your projects seem effortless and sometimes I feel that you could pick up a doily at Walmart and I'd be all OMG THAT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. So now I feel better about things I've done which haven't always worked.
60. Robin G. said:
I know I'm going to be absolutely, positively hated for this, but... I liked it the old way better. *ducks flying objects* But hey, it ain't my bathroom, and if this floats your boat, good on you.
61. Lauren From Texas said:
Looks great guys! Good job not killing each other. :)
62. Cris said:
I don't know... I don't think I can go back into my perfectly-tiled bathroom until you post photographical evidence that you too have a perfectly-tiled bathroom. Just the fact you have astronauts in your bathroom does not compensate the fact it is NOT!!!!!!!!111 a perfectly-tiled bathroom.
So I hold you personally responsible for my upcoming UTIs and other nasty stuff.
That is all.
63. kiki said:
knowing it's too late now, but i wonder how it would look if you decided to go with something really bold & funky under the sink instead of trying to match it? like big orange tiles underneath the sink?
in any case, love the mirrors and sinks, and the simplicity of the room!
64. JP said:
I like the retro feel of it all. Nice...
65. Rena said:
LOVING the rug!
66. Tile Hater said:
I hate the tile and frankly this looks more like a remuddle than a remodel. Ikea is fine for something temporary (a kid's bookshelf or desk for example) but for a bathroom it screams cheap. But perhaps my taste is too sophisticated to understand your intentions here.
67. Yolanda said:
I'm not a hater. I could never be a hater. I think the final result, could use a little improvement, so I'm here to offer some unsolicited suggestions. I'm self-important like that.
How about adding a nice warm wall color in there? Something that would really make that orange pop? Or maybe the wall is painted, but it's appearing washed out in the photos?
I think the mixed geometry on the tile could appear more like a deliberate choice, and not a mistake if you had opted for another color in the tile or the grout. If it doesn't match, I don't think it usually works to pretend that it does. It works better to play up the difference. But, since it's already done, it's time to make a happy accident. A couple of shallow, wide storage baskets filled with rolled spa towels and placed under the vanity might just do the trick.
68. Tracy said:
The vanity looks great. That tile would drive me CRAZY! I think you should scootch the rug just a tad under it. Because you care what I think and all. :P
69. Melissa said:
Ooh... Love how you have incorporated the Orla Kiely accessories in!!
My hubby and I once decided to build a front porch together... Yeah. We butted heads the whole time and we are lucky we are still married. ;o)
70. Mari said:
Turned out very well overall, and I think you have to hand it to Jon for remodeling a bathroom pretty much by himself. That said, I think I'd eventually replace the hexagonal tiles with the rectangular tiles under the vanity (the hexagonal tiles don't really go with the modern vanity). I also like #54's suggestion regarding paint color.
71. repliderium.com said:
Bathroom reno project while you're 100 months pregnant? You guys are nuts!
72. emily said:
the old way sucked, the new way is awesome.
shut up assholes.
73. Nik said:
OH my god. And this is why whenever my husband says he is doing anything home-improvement-y, I run screaming the other way: "Hope you don't need my help! I'm outta here...!!" I've learned the hard way!
Glad to see your marriage has survived the trauma. And you have an absolutely beautiful bathroom to show for it.
74. Lindsey said:
WTF. People really take the time to tell you that they don't like YOUR bathroom? I happen to like it, but regardless, ITS YOUR BATHROOM. No wonder I need to be on medication to be nice to the general public.
75. Gaby said:
Vanity is great. Just read Jon's Twitter - I agree that the tile isn't so bad for "in the meantime" purposes. I also found myself going back and forth between before and after photos because you made the bathroom look much bigger in the before. Oh, and post those darn text messages. Please :-)
76. Katharos said:
The two types of tile? Don't quite do it for me but you have some serious balls for trying it. I love that you made the room work using mostly just shades of white. I would not be able to restrain myself from splashing that awesome orange all over the walls!
77. JenC said:
Great Job! Love the orange. Where did you get the light fixture? It's the only thing left to do in my bathroom, but I can't find any I like.
78. P said:
We went through considerable "discussion" when remodeling one of our baths during a whole house nine month remodel. At one point, I ask the cabinet sub to intervene. He politely declined and said, "I never get involved in personal homeowner's choices. I figure you'll either work it out or I'll read about it in the paper tomorrow."
Smart guy that one. Fortunately for us, it was the former and not the latter.
And NOT that you asked, mind you. But, go ahead and order the hex tile, two weeks-schmoo weeks what the hey. You'll thank "us" later...
Thanks as always for sharing.
79. Carrie said:
I paid a housecall to a patient 3 days shy of her due date to begin induction treatments. As I was leaving, she mentioned that her plan for the rest of the evening was to regrout the bathroom. I stopped, set everything down, put my hands on her shoulders, and made her vow not to start that. Oy. Your bathroom looks clean and bright and fine and a perfectly marvelous place to allow a baby. Anyone who would criticize a pregnant woman's nest is an asshole. Let's see your houses, people.
80. Chris said:
The book you want to write about remodeling? Go for it. It's true, short, and relate-able. You'll be rich!
The bathroom looks nice. You two did a great job. I admire your determination. Be careful though! Leta and baby girl need parents who aren't hobbled to care for them. :-)
81. Saturday Jane said:
I love those bright tones of orange in the rug, photos, and pear design on the countertop. What a great way to brighten things up for the winter!
82. Amber Star said:
Oh NO...I'm laughing so hard that tears are running down my face...that is how you can tell the ones who have been married for a while and have gotten involved in remodeling projects...we are the ones on the floor laughing.
Ya'll are in my prayers. hahahaha...for real...I know and totally understand.
83. Lauren said:
I love the colors in the room now! They really brighten the place up and make it look so much more up to date. Glad everyone survived.
84. Sandra said:
I love it - even the strange tile. Love the clean lines, the colors, everything. Can I copy when I redo by guest bath next year? The "Home Depot" look is what I worked very hard to avoid when I remodeled my extremely tiny bathroom two years ago - using Ikea cabinets and fixtures which I still love. My remodel took six months, however, as I did most myself and it took months to find the white tile I wanted - everyone kept telling me I wanted brown or beige.
Am I the only person who can assemble Ikea furniture without instructions? I'm thinking of becoming a professional Ikea assembler.
85. Nikki-Paige said:
I *heart* the orange rug; where did you find it? I think I missed that.
Seriously though, the tile is fine. The non-matching part is UNDER THE SINK, so who's gonna notice?
People always find something negative to say...gotta love it.
Will you take bribes to see the text messages?
86. Brava97 said:
What in the world is the purpose of the bowl on top of the toilet?
87. Erin said:
Not that you asked for our opinions (HA!), but I think it looks great. I actually like the mismatched tile--it looks like a tile-rug for your vanity. And the vanity/sinks/faucets are GREAT. Crazy haters.
88. Sissy said:
I love it and I think it looks bigger. The old cabinet screamed 1975 because I had a "junior bedroom suite" that had that same look.
Only thing I would do would be put the toliet paper in one of those drawers or get a basket. Nothing worse than some soggy toliet paper.
89. Kristen said:
That bathroom is about 5 times bigger than the biggest bathroom in my house where 4 kids were raised. So I'm jealous. :)
90. Sarah said:
I'm confused! Are you joking?! I'd toss that rug diagonally under the vanity because that tile is killing my eyes. Also...I'm so confused...the new vanity seems smaller? But then it's not actually, because it goes from the wall on one end to the toilet on the other? What changed, space-wise, then?! I'm off to go scratch my head staring at the photos.
Also? Calling us haters for saying we don't like it? She posts pictures all the time. Why is it okay for people to comment saying they love ____? I'm not criticizing Heather and Jon, I'm just scratching my head because it seems like they've done so much better elsewhere. So I'm left wondering if I'm missing the punchline to a joke here. But if they like it, what difference does it make what me or the rest of the "haters" think of it? None whatsoever.
91. Beth said:
Seriously, people need to shut the hell up. That bathroom looks nice, the two kinds of tile are fine, and if you don't like IKEA because your "taste is too sophisticated" you've missed an entire half century of design. Luckily, you should be able to skip a few decades of colonoscopies because your head is far enough up there that you can inform your doctor if any abnormalities appear. Yeah, the vanity is not made out of solid, hand-carved oak, but it's something serviceable that lots of people can afford. And Dooce and Jon made it look so pretty and individual that anyone who doesn't like it - and who takes the time to tell a pregnant woman that they don't like her nesting - is a jerkface of abnormal proportions.
Speaking of which, you two must have a larger than average collection of balls (both by number and volume) to embark on a project like this so close to having a baby! Thanks for sharing with us :)
92. Phoebe said:
haters can suck it.
love the rug. and the landnauts.
93. Anonymous said:
YOU ARE ONE F___ING SPOILED PERSON!
Do you realize how F---ing spoiled you even are? That things in your life are so wonderful and going so well that you actually have the freeedom and liberty to complain about how your bathroom looks?!?!?!
i would give anything to have the great life you obviously have, to be able to comaplin about my bathroom! Id give anything to not have relatives who are dying, a potential job loss in the future, lots of $$$ that you make from advertisers to your blog, a healthy child, another on the way, and a husband who dotes on you. Do you even realize how blessed you are?? Do you?
how come every one of your posts is a sarcastic one about something going on in your life, thats actually a blessing? Why do you turn around every incident that happens to you and poke fun at it, when it actually just shows youre a blessed person?
All i can say is-- enjoy it while it lasts. time still still for nobody. We are all getting old, and will get sick and die. We will ALL Die! every one of us. all our parents, our partners, our kids, our relatives and our friends... we will , someday, be alone with nobody who loves us unconditionally.
i used to be blessed. a wonderful upbringing, great friends, great family, the best of schools... all gone now. or almost gone. i didnt truly appreciate it till it was gone.
but gone it is. and gone it will be for us all.
like the unmatched tiles in your bathroom... they will all be gone.
do i sound jealous? its cause i am! i yearn for those days again. but theyre over. theyre gone.
94. Anonymous said:
YOU ARE ONE F___ING SPOILED PERSON!
Do you realize how F---ing spoiled you even are? That things in your life are so wonderful and going so well that you actually have the freeedom and liberty to complain about how your bathroom looks?!?!?!
i would give anything to have the great life you obviously have, to be able to comaplin about my bathroom! Id give anything to not have relatives who are dying, a potential job loss in the future, lots of $$$ that you make from advertisers to your blog, a healthy child, another on the way, and a husband who dotes on you. Do you even realize how blessed you are?? Do you?
how come every one of your posts is a sarcastic one about something going on in your life, thats actually a blessing? Why do you turn around every incident that happens to you and poke fun at it, when it actually just shows youre a blessed person?
All i can say is-- enjoy it while it lasts. time still still for nobody. We are all getting old, and will get sick and die. We will ALL Die! every one of us. all our parents, our partners, our kids, our relatives and our friends... we will , someday, be alone with nobody who loves us unconditionally.
i used to be blessed. a wonderful upbringing, great friends, great family, the best of schools... all gone now. or almost gone. i didnt truly appreciate it till it was gone.
but gone it is. and gone it will be for us all.
like the unmatched tiles in your bathroom... they will all be gone.
do i sound jealous? its cause i am! i yearn for those days again. but theyre over. theyre gone.
95. lynn @ human, being said:
The beginning of the end of my marriage came when we decided to move into a much bigger house when I was 30 weeks pregnant. I didn't have the mental chutzpah nor the self confidence at the time to tell my now-ex-husband that there was no way in hell I could do more than sit on a chair and dictate exactly how he should be painting every freaking wall in our 2400-sq-ft house with its gloriously vaulted 11-foot ceilings.
Since he wanted to take it easy on me, he gave me the trim jobs. At that point, my stomach was measuring almost 48 inches around ("wow--that's how deep your average swimming pool is" he said). And it was May. And it was hot. And we didn't have air conditioning. And I was on my hands and knees trying to do my best to get the paint along the edge of the molding, not on the molding.
And THEN I was up on a 16-foot extension ladder. Because the baby at that point had robbed me AND him of all of our functioning brain cells.
And THEN he had the audacity to yell at me. For getting paint on the popcorn ceiling. And on the carpet. As I cried.
And that's just one of many "it'll be fine" remodeling projects that slowly ate up our marriage.
But you and Jon seem just fine. :)
96. katie said:
i think it looks great, provided you don't notice the floor. so, personally, if it was my bathroom, i'd be more than happy to live in the upgraded version till the baby is out and i can climb stairs with ease again. then i'd chip out that blue trim tile, order the extra hexagons, and finish off the bottom the way i think you inteneded. but that's just me. living in a shit-hole fixer upper myself, we were psyched to trash the 70s faux brass mirror/light combo above the sink and replace it with a plain boring mirrow and sleak modern light fixture as TWO SEPARATE UNITS. made it totally possible to forget about the neon blue tiles in the tub. which are still there.
97. linda c. said:
the dual sinks must be a god-send. love the touch of green (leaves) that brings the outdoors in.
98. dooce said:
These comments just keep getting better and better!
99. Hannah said:
I was with you until I saw the toilet paper rolls on the floor.
From your tales and pictures, I believe you have two dogs. How are you able to make that happen? I only had one dog and he would not have been able to control himself long enough for me to snap a picture, must less any extended period of time to actually use said toilet paper.
Kudos on your skills in magic.
And kudos on the rug and vanity - me likey.
100. Anonymous said:
YOU ARE ONE F___ING SPOILED PERSON!
Do you realize how F---ing spoiled you even are? That things in your life are so wonderful and going so well that you actually have the freeedom and liberty to complain about how your bathroom looks?!?!?!
i would give anything to have the great life you obviously have, to be able to comaplin about my bathroom! Id give anything to not have relatives who are dying, a potential job loss in the future, lots of $$$ that you make from advertisers to your blog, a healthy child, another on the way, and a husband who dotes on you. Do you even realize how blessed you are?? Do you?
how come every one of your posts is a sarcastic one about something going on in your life, thats actually a blessing? Why do you turn around every incident that happens to you and poke fun at it, when it actually just shows youre a blessed person?
All i can say is-- enjoy it while it lasts. time still still for nobody. We are all getting old, and will get sick and die. We will ALL Die! every one of us. all our parents, our partners, our kids, our relatives and our friends... we will , someday, be alone with nobody who loves us unconditionally.
i used to be blessed. a wonderful upbringing, great friends, great family, the best of schools... all gone now. or almost gone. i didnt truly appreciate it till it was gone.
but gone it is. and gone it will be for us all.
like the unmatched tiles in your bathroom... they will all be gone.
do i sound jealous? its cause i am! i yearn for those days again. but theyre over. theyre gone.
101. dooce said:
I seriously believe that one day this particular set of comments is going to be studied by anthropologists in an effort to understand the gene responsible for assholery.
102. Valerie said:
#66 is a joke right? No one would actually say that... right?
The tile would drive me nuts, but I'm pretty obsessive-compulsive and it's not my bathroom. And Ikea is Swedish for AWESOME, so whatevs #66. I do love the sinks and faucets.
103. Jenn said:
I personally like the "before" look better, but it's your bathroom. However, I do really love the flowers on your toilet, and the spiffy orange rug. :)
104. BettyCrockerAss said:
At least it wasn't half of you house.
At least you didn't have to straddle over ceiling joist while 8 months pregnant to pee.
At least yours is done and not still happening 3 years and TWO babies later.
Go kiss your husband and tell him thanks for at least finishing it.
105. Manlycow said:
Wow!
Bathrooms and politics are volatile subjects!
106. Mee2 said:
OMG I can leave a comment. I've been reading your blog from oldest to newest and I'm only in the 05's. I stalk you on Twitter, as well. Love the new stuff in the bathroom. Love all you do. You two are awesome.
107. Erica said:
maybe its the angle of the photos, but the first vanity looks larger then the second one. Either way, you guys did a good job.
and the comments you are are priceless.
108. P said:
93/94
Two words. More fiber.
109. Anonymous said:
re: baby magic: i, in fact, was eating my lunch (chix curry and cabbage salad - not coleslaw- 2 separate dishes)and instead of grossing me out the visual of a slimy birthy baby foot coming out from between your baby chute made me laugh and choke a little. (i'm ok).
and i never thought once about the comments you get until now and wow!
keep up the good stuff.
110. Evilsciencechick said:
So remember that, everyone! Don't complain about your bathroom remodel, because WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
Important lesson, that.
111. Valancy Jane said:
I think the two different types of tile add a really interesting twist. Am I strange for liking it that way? I think it's perfect. The white is very serene.
112. Liz said:
I would have totally waited for the 2 weeks for the matching tiles to arrive, instead of having the mismatched tiles. It will drive me crazy. Love the rugs, but I like the old vanity better.
113. Jenny, Crash Test Mommy said:
I'm not sure, but I think some of Jon's hostility may have found its way onto my Twitter timeline. Around approximately April 22nd. Just FYI.
114. shriek house said:
Oh man, I would give my FRONT TEETH to see those text messages!
115. Grace said:
WHOA #93 (94 and 100). Dude - Prozac. Worked for Heather. Calm the hell down.
116. Issa said:
Laughing my ass off at these comments. #100 People die? Ok, good to know. We should all stop living because we will one day die? We can never complain because we will one day die? Not a great way to live. Heather, I can see why it would be a pain, but I do love it when you open comments.
Like the bathroom, but wondered about you and Jon's sanity in the beginning...but I'd also just read the book. Ooohhh just had a thought, if you can't think of a name for the baby, Ikea sounds fun. Ha, kidding. Seriously, am kidding.
117. Jill said:
This is one fucking COOL ASS BATHROOM. Fuck anyone who says otherwise, you didn't ask for opinions! I would honored to grace something so lovely with my excretions.
118. Cate said:
I can thoroughly relate to the awfulness of renovating together. I'm married to the world's most miserable handyman. He likes saving money by doing things ourselves but he absolutely hates the "doing" part.
Stony faced silence for 3 days is usually what follows any sort of project requiring both of us to be in the same room.
I applaud your ability to ignore the fact that your tile doesn't match, it would drive me crazy. However, I like the rest of it. It's very clean and fresh looking!
To Tile hater 66 Spending a lot of money on things doesn't make your taste sophisticated. Money can't buy taste or, it would seem, good manners.
And to Brava 97 the bowl on the toilet is decorative. A decorative thing's purpose is to be decorative!!
119. Linda_M said:
From the way you write about this, I sense another bathroom remodel in your future. It's always better the second time around (not easier, better - because you know it won't go smoothly).
I love your sense of color and style, and the way you display your photos.
120. benbrown said:
We remodeled our bathroom last year, and hit several of these same snags. Our tile didn't extend underneath the vanity either, so we ended up having to remove the entire floor! It was very sad for me because it was otherwise perfectly lovely saltillo tile.
Also, everything that we've hung on the wall seems to be hanging on by the tiniest thread of a screw. Every time I brush my teeth, I am a little bit afraid that the mirror is going to come crashing down because we didn't anchor it right. I mean, I THINK we did, but I'm no professional mirror hanger, you know?
But I must say, now that it is all done, I love that bathroom! I could poop all day!
121. Habitual said:
#66 has to be a joke....!? Just an FYI, mine (#41) was totally a joke. Yikes.
And #100 - is either a raging case of dark humor or... me thinks you just received a helping of this month's mailbag as well as next month's header.
Wowoowowowwwwww.......
122. Cynthia said:
Dude.. W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R.. People's comments are SO hilarious. Especially anonymous who is pissing and moaning about you being spoiled... Jesus, most of us in this country are friggin' spoiled and can't be thankful for anything we've got.. everyone is wah wah crying because their credit card limits have been decreased.. Jesus, people what a country.. Band together! Be nice to each other, lend a helping hand!! and if her tiles don't match WHO GIVES A FUCK!!! Why do you have to tell her they look awful! They DON'T really and they kind of give more character..it isn't your friggin' bathroom so keep your mouth shut and just say something nice.. she's PREGNANT for God's sake
Anyway, Heather is funny, and although I get jealous of her ability to write about the minutiae of her life in funny and entertaining ways, making both my writing and my life look increasingly bland and dull. I can't fault the girl for wanting to remodel her bathroom, I just wish I had a man to yell at to re-tile, instead of doing on my own!!! Which I have to do! Plus, I learned today that you can spell 'impale' two ways! I never knew you could spell it 'empale' NEVER.. so now i learned something new today.. and boy am I procrastinating right now!
123. Britte said:
Just go to Lowes or Home Depot, buy some nice BIG tile for the floor and do it that way. Maybe hire some kid to help Jon out. Wouldn't take long. My fiance's parents did 3 bathrooms in 2 weeks (one was completely gutted) and removed a fire place and laid down hardwood in the missing areas. They hired a guy to come in and help them and it was just enough help that they did it really quickly. I mean 2 weeks. Easily done.
Otherwise, looks good.
124. rhea said:
I'm too much of scaredy-cat to redo my bathroom because I'm completely sure my mind will change half way through, or scream in frustration and leave it half done for eternity. Still, the weekend is upcoming...
Wow, the crazies are out today, totally worth an anthropological study.
125. Candy Stick Lane said:
The remodel turned out fab! I love the crispness and the touches of color! very inspiring - thanks for sharing~
126. Katie said:
Wow. To #93, etc, etc... what. the. heck.
How can you sit and call someone out for being negative while you sit there being SO NEGATIVE?
Heather is at the end of her pregnancy. Look - I had years of infertility before I got pregnant and by the last trimester, I was cursing the fertility drugs that were the reason I was pregnant. GIVE HER A FRIGGIN' BREAK.
Just because someone has a lot of blessings does not make them superhuman. It does not take away from the trials that EVERY person has in life. Money, success... those things do not bring happiness. They just don't. You can be dirt poor and still be happy so that means nothing.
Go read her posts that she writes to her daughter if you want to see her views on how blessed she is - because she writes about that, too. And as far as the rest of the writing style, it's satire. People like it - hence the reason you're here reading her blog. And I don't care how much your husband adores you - every husband is annoying. And when you're that pregnant... most are just downright obnoxious. Lay off!
I could go on and on about personal accountability for happiness, but I won't bother. There are always reasons to be happy in life and there are always reasons to be unhappy. Just depends on which way you choose to see things.
As for the bathroom - it is not personally MY style. But when I saw the pic, I thought it goes great with you and Jon and everything else I've seen as far as your decorating sense. I have to say as someone who is into photography - I absolutely love the way the simple lines you choose in decorations make your photos be the focal points in your room. Your home always looks like a gallery to me and I love your photography - so I am a huge fan of how you choose to decorate for YOU. I think it's a great representation of you and your family and life.
Don't put yourself into labor, though. Good gosh.
127. derade said:
Dooce...I have to say, your commenters are cracking me up! Anonymous (93,94, and 100) should do stand-up!
128. Abby said:
Wow, I had no idea a bathroom could stir up such condescending and nihilistic reactions from people who will never even take a dump in it.
129. Jennifer B. said:
Hey, next time your hubby needs help, I would be glad to volunteer my hubby to help! I have been pregnant before and have had to help move things. I'm 5'2'' so with a belly sticking out from Sandy, UT to Egypt, I know how you felt! Glad it got finished, now when things cool down you can have Jon rip out the "old" tile and finish the bathroom with the same "new" tile. (Sorry, I am a pretty square person!)
130. Katie said:
The bathroom looks great. You'd never know that you (aka Jon) had a terrible time remodeling it. BTW, I noticed your extra toilet tissue by the basket, you can find this cool tissue holder at Target for about $15. It would fit right between your toilet and vanity, mostly out of sight, but very convenient: http://tiny.cc/Ub6ny
131. Maggie said:
Wow, #66 sounds nice after that Anonymous post! Why do people think they can say things like that...and then go and copy it three times? I think it goes a little deeper than jealousy. Just sad that there are people out there who are depressed & not getting the help they need!
ANYWAY, I think the bathroom looks great! Love the vanity & plumbing fixtures! I liked one reader's comment about a different color tile under the vanity, but I think it's FINE for what it is now...FINISHED! Plus, no one will be eyeing your bathroom with the [I assume] wide-angle lens you used for the photos!
132. Tark said:
You are brave and I am impressed. As a fellow pregnant lady I can not imagine the sexual favors necessary to cajole your husband into attempting, much less completing this task. Kudos! Also, marriage is absolutely one big "I told you so!"
133. Terri said:
Holy Shit number 93...give the world a break. Geez Louise. I mean we have two homes, both in foreclosure, my husband and I are both out of work and supporting NINE people..Yea, NINE, we lost our entire retirement portfolio in the stock market, over $250,000.00 and my father died, my grandmothers died, my in laws both died and my step father died, all in less than 18 months .... but seriously if I ran around like you, "we're all gonna die" Gawd, you are a mess. A real disaster.
Anyway, the remodel...did you try the rug under the vanity? Of course it might be exagerated due to the angle of the camera. And I do love the faucets. And the rug. And the photos. Maybe some paint to take the eye UP and not DOWN towards the unmatching tile????
134. Sherry said:
Wow. Number 93 (and 94 AND 100) sure is a beaming ray of fucking sunshine, yes? Way to project your own issues at others.
I think it looks great. It's not my style but I can still appreciate it.
135. Laura said:
Heather,
I love the vanity and the artwork, but I'm a bit surprised you guys bothered doing what you did, when it looks half done. Perhaps its the baby on the way, but it doesn't look finished. Good luck with the upcoming pregnancy, and hopefully you will be able to do your full reno in the future. :)
136. dogman said:
While we dont share the same taste (you are a bit minimalistic for me) I alwasy enjoy seeing your redone rooms. I have to tell you, in all honesty, that your bathroom looks bad. You can not possibly have two types of tile in your bathroom and why would you actually leave out toliet paper on the floor? I think your decor over the comode looks nice and your vanity is nice but why do this half way? Ug.
137. Anonymous said:
WE ARE A BUNCH OF SPOILED READERS! I just love how you transform everything in your life into a fun story. Thanks so much!
138. Laura Brandon said:
I think I like the vanity... but seriously, that tile. Not that my bathroom looks even remotely as good as yours, but I rent. Love the orange, though!
139. Kendra said:
What terrific timing! Just today the contractor came to start the process of completely remodeling our one bathroom and my son's bedroom. In some period of time (6-8 weeks, I just keep reminding myself of that number), we're going to have a glorious, bigger, functional, lovely bathroom, and my sons will have a bigger, beautiful bedroom. Until then I'm going to try to swallow every hurtful comment about tile choices and holes in the backyard and why we wanted to do this in the first place.
Your bathroom is beautiful, though as someone who snags her toe on everything I pass, I cringe at the sight of that vanity! I would never have done orange and white; I think I'm not that brave with colors, though they look terrific. Now I'm off to look at (unbelievably expensive) floor tiles!
140. Trish said:
People are CRAZY! Wow.
I think you are amazing and oh so funny. You make me smile and/or laugh every day and I thank you. Screw the crazies, you're awesome.
141. kim said:
Oh my gosh. The above anonymous commenter (#93... and #94) would like to remind you all the life is fleeting and you have no right to complain about ANYTHING at all while you can still breathe. (Because we will ALL DIE!)
Love the bathroom, but with the others who are kind of meh on the tiles. That said, I can totally relate and probably would have made the same decision myself. Hindsight is 20/20, no?
142. SuzieQ said:
ALWAYS preface any remodeling/home improvement projects with the joint statement that "There's going to be a fight!!" When that's understood by both parties, one or the other can walk away and preserve some sort of sanity and composure while the other throws a fit, or maybe a hammer. It always worked for me and my late husband and we had 39 great and funny years before I lost him..
143. Masha said:
It is sometimes hard to comment on the post and not on the comments.
That said, who gives a flying f*** about the mismatched tile (that you can replace at any time in the future) when you have TWO SINKS!
144. Chris said:
It looks new and fresh and it's done!
145. becks said:
ok, if number 93/94/100 is so upset, why are they wasting their time reposting an identical comment over and over? um, it's your blog, talk about your remodel if you want....
ps- love the bursts of orange. :)
146. Nicole said:
I saw you kids (you and John) eating dinner at Cucina Toscana when you got home from your book tour, and it took every molecule in my body not to run over to your tiny table in the corner and embarrass myself by slathering you both with my affection.
Whatever the condition of your bathroom, I'm sold on the great feeling that comes from being included in your life in even the smallest way. That was such an exciting night!! I was on cloud nine!! From afar.
Thanks for living here! (Should I add "you selfish whore" just so I don't seem too weird?)
147. Desiree said:
I love your remodel. I think it looks great. Who cares about the tile? There's ways around it if it bothers you, or if it doesn't then LIFE IS GREAT! I definitely give you props to not maiming each other during this conquest, too.
As for the "haters" and the spamming-anonymous-jealous-novel-length-commenter (seriously, that's too long of a word)... I doubt y'all bother Heather. I'm sure, just like me, it's just like reading a text-based Jerry Springer show.
BRING ON THE CRAZY!
148. Hope said:
Wow, I guess the anonymity of the Internet brings out the bitter critic in some - #100 scares me more than a little bit.
My husband and I recently celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary - and we have gotten to this point by NEVER, repeat, NEVER working together on any housing/building/ remodeling project without at least two other parties continually present to keep us from killing each other.
Thanks for sharing your experiences - you make me smile almost every day.
149. R. Wallis said:
WOW! Why do people read your blog if they hate you so much?! Attention seekers…….
At any rate, my husband and I have gone through a massive remodel of a 1950’s home. We too could not find the matching tile for our bathroom, and we have been forcing ourselves to over look the mismatch for over 2 years now of which I have been working full time and completing a Master’s degree. I am now finished with school and therefore, am much more observant of my surroundings. Furthermore, I am at the two year point in the home/marriage, and I sternly want to rip the each and every tile out of the bathroom and start over!
150. Julia said:
Forgive me if I missed this discussion, but... the old light fixture. I see there was one light out. Is this one of those fixtures where it is just absolutely impossible to change the bulb? We have a similar fixture and absolutely CANNOT use our combined college educations (including one Master's degree) to change these bulbs. Apparently the owners before us couldn't figure it out either because some of the light bulb coverings were broken. Instead of buying new coverings, we found out it was easier (according to the lighting store) just to replace the entire fixture. Then a light bulb went out. Then another. When the last bulb goes out, we'll have to get a new fixture I suppose.
151. ab said:
I no longer want to remodel my bathroom or do anything for that matter because, eventually, I am GOING TO DIE!!! Good lord crazy people, take the sticks out of your asses.
152. Carolyn said:
I would be in divorce court right now if I ever attempted this with my husband. Either that or I would have submerged him into the grout and tiled over him.
153. Melissa said:
We just spent the weekend hanging window trim and installing floorboards. Remodeling sucks. We've been working on something around the house since 2003. I call our home the "Big Boy Lego Project".
I would buy your book. I might actually cross-stitch your book and hang it on the wall next to the table saw.
154. Ryan said:
Sorry, but that tile sucks. Monica Lewinsky like suckage.
155. bohica said:
Heather darlin', surely at this point you realize that the world believes you belong to them?
~~
As for #100, you're hysterical. Seriously. Your lack of insight is so pathetic it's hysterical. Send me your address and I'll give you enough money to buy a sense of humour.
156. Groovymarlin said:
You know what? That mismatched tile under the vanity would drive me completely insane. I agree with other commenters who suggested that doing something completely different, in a bright color perhaps, would have looked better. That being said, I suspect that it's only obvious in the photos and that standing and walking in the bathroom it's probably not noticeable at all. And when sitting, well...you probably wouldn't be naturally inclined to even look under there unless you specifically knew about the tile in advance!
The Ikea vanity is not my favorite but it's nice and modern and sleek, and I *love* the faucets, OMG they are so cool!
Love you Dooce. You're the bomb, girl.
157. Anonymous said:
The hexagonal tile is an in-stock item at home depot in new york city. it is one of the most popular tiles here available in a dull finish and a shiny one. it is also available in larger hexagonal tiles.
158. undersundog said:
I'll just go ahead and second No. 66. My tastes are probably too sophisticated for anyone on the internet to understand. I have the quantum physics of tastes.
159. menderz said:
I'm sorry, but these comments may actually be more entertaining than the actual post. I guess everyone really does have an opinion, unsolicted or not.
160. Kellie said:
holy crap - that is us, right now! i'm in 2nd trimester, we ripped out the vanity, found not matching tile but rather two layers of vinyl/laminate, had to use mis-matched tile, took down the big giant wall mirror, picked up an ikea sink cabinet. thankfully though, we're laughing our way through it instead of fighting. well, congrats on being done anyhow.
161. Tiffany said:
i can not believe you left comments open on this one.
you are so ridiculously brave.
wasn't breaking your toe enough?
that felt like enough pain, but instead you left comments open on something you worked so hard on, and thus invited a whole lot of crazy to join the bathroom parade, and wtf is up with debbie downs, or should i say, "anonymous" next she'll be threatening to kill herself on twitter.
great job on the bathroom brave brave soul.
162. Aimee Greeblemonkey said:
ha ha. I had my first real, bonafide, crazy hateful nutter comment a few weeks ago... and all I could think is: Heather would be so proud.
163. dead beat daddy-o said:
What brand of toilet paper is that?
164. Aimee Greeblemonkey said:
Oh, and I have that EXACT tile in my bathroom from 1930, except for little blue ones interspersed with the white. Fun cleaning times, fun cleaning times.
165. Hope said:
Wow, I guess the anonymity of the Internet brings out the bitter critic in some. #100 in particular scares me more than a little bit.
My husband and I recently celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary - and we have gotten to this point by NEVER, repeat, NEVER working together on any housing/building/ remodeling project without at least two other parties continually present to keep us from killing each other.
Thanks for sharing your experiences - you make me smile almost every day.
166. Melissa said:
the vanity...based on previous posts/purchases you have shared seems perfectly suited to the Armstrong home. And I think the tile looks excellent...and like it is planned to be that way.
bravo.
167. Stubs said:
I'm so distracted by HUGE that toilet bowl... wtf?! lol
168. Anonymous said:
I think it looks nice. All that matters is what you two think, anyway.
:o)
169. April said:
I'm really surprised you couldn't find matching tile. My friend just re-did her bathroom and used something that looks identical, or at least closer than what you've got in there. Anyway...The vanity looks nice and much closer to your aesthetic!
170. Anonymous said:
It's heated right? And the plumbing all functions correctly? And the roof doesn't leak? If yes to all, this is nothing more than an imbalanced hormone induced nouveau riche kvetch fest. I think it looks great!
171. Jen said:
WOW! Since when is it cool to dictate how one decorates their own home?! Some people just aren't happy unless they're hating. Sorry Heather. Gee, aren't you glad all that hard work & horrible arguing paid off? ;)
172. Bush Babe said:
Holy Moly... I frightened to leave a comment in case I trigger world war three. In a BATHROOM RENO post?? Geez... chill pills all round people (Heather, where is that prescription?).
Honestly, I liked the original vanity. I like the new one. I don't mind the tiles. Both bathrooms in my old home are badly in need of makeovers, and our loo paper gets stacked wherever there is space... I will live on (til I die!) safe in the knowledge that no-one really cares what I think of Dooce's loo look. And that's OK too.
The End.
:-)
BB
173. Jenny said:
I like the overall feel -- very clean and spacious. But the tile under the vanity would drive me batshit crazy, as I think others have said. That's just me, though. Props for tackling this whilst super-prego!
We've been remodeling our 50 year old house for almost three years, and I've learned that we rarely get things right the first time. This summer, we're redoing our "master" bath (about the size of most half-baths) for the second time.
174. OreoFairy said:
I think the bathroom looks great. Who cares if the tile doesn't match you did what you did and it should only matter to you. One thing is for sure if you are ever at a loss for writing material you have all the comments and emails you get from people who don't know how to shut their mouths. I know now when I am looking for a laugh all I have to do is look towards the jerks who share their wonderful opinions. Thanks for sharing.
175. Christy said:
To Yolanda - #67 - I don't think either Heather or Jon meant to make it look like they thought the two tiles MATCHED each other - unless you are trying to tell us they went blind temporarily. I don't believe the point was to make them match, but to make it look decent and geometric at the same time. Lay off of the mismatched tiles in the bathroom people. If she needed your criticism I am sure she could have asked her mother. It's funny that people think they should let you know how they hated your bathroom - as if these opinions will now make you go back and change the whole thing. If you don't have anything nice to say, then DON'T say anything at all.
Heather and Jon - Way to go on not killing eachother during the remodel. I am sure the kids will be happy to have two loving parents in the hm (that is, until the next remodel!) Great job and it looks FANTASTIC!!
176. Marie said:
I love how people can have completely different tastes. :) I would kill for the before bathroom and vanity. I just got to share it with my husband and we both were like wow...we so like the before better that the after. But the after is so much more your style (obviously...it is your bathroom.) You guys did a nice job.
177. ma2one said:
Please compile a book of all your favorite crazy people comments. No blogger has as many "interesting" comments as you.
BTW/ It really is hilarious that you okayed the bathroom tiles to look this way!
178. monique said:
I hope you're both enjoying this with a serious glass of bourbon in hand. Even you, not-Maria. ("This" being the new bathroom and also the entertainment provided by all the twats poo-pooing your tile selection).
Poo reference in a bathroom comment. Too much?
179. Design Diva said:
Okay kiddo, your friends won't tell you the truth. Of course the ass-kissing sycophants are going to tell you it's the most fabulously fabulous remodel ever. But if you really want the truth you have to listen to the internets.
And the internets are saying that the emperor isn't wearing any clothes. That mismatched tile is reminiscent of a balding 35 year-old with a combover. You don't want to keep staring, but you have to. And it ain't fooling anyone.
180. Em said:
Wow. People sure are EXCITABLE about bathrooms that do not belong to them.
Good job on getting the project done and remaining married. It looks really nice.
181. Amy said:
My bathroom, dining room and bedroom (and more than a few kitchen utensils scream cheap...I mean IKEA. I love it all.
And the tiles. I love the tiles. I have moved around a lot in my lifetime and the apartments that were the most comfy and had the most character had that very tile. Believe it or not, some even had mismatched tile under the sink. It's actually kinda neato. I wouldn't worry about it. It will give you something stare at when you're sleeping on the floor in there. ;)
Love your words. Love your pics. Love your cheap IKEA bathroom.
182. Jessica said:
I love, love, love the astronauts in the desert pics!! And I think the tile adds some character to the bathroom, because after all the only thing that's perfect is imperfection.
183. Alpha said:
What nutters? C'mon, I was expecting something totally hysterical, and all I got was some people telling you your remodel looked cheap. I agree with that, since I think Ikea looks best in a college dorm and shouldn't be approached otherwise, but "Nutters?" And calling out comment #66 on your Twitter?
...And then calling your commenters "Assholes?" Nobody had even mentioned Hitler, yet. Puh-leeze.
I rather agree with #100. You chose this life, you've decided to expose yourself to the Internet. Sometimes you're funny, sometimes not. Get over yourself.
184. joey said:
haha! check your texts.
185. heather said:
My husband is a carpenter, and I have worked in the trades before. We occasionally work together. Building decks for neighbors, friends, etc. It works so much better when I just think of him in my head as the asshole foreman, or "the boss" and usually I just say something like time for my union sanctioned break... and walk away. Sure, seems like psychosis, but it is saving the relationship.
We don't have a house, yet! But I look forward to the remodels. I am going to send him a bill after every one of them. And I plan to take my recompense in sexual acts. Billed by the minute... :)
186. QueenTess said:
The bathroom isn't my taste, but jesus, what's with everyone being all pissed off about someone saying "I don't like that"? If Dooce is going to post photos on the internet and have an open comment forum, she must be ok with comments. Not every comment has to be blowing sunshine up her ass.
187. Sara said:
What is wrong with you people? Take your rage elsewhere.
Heather, that is a lovely bathroom and you are even lovelier person for leaving your comments box open.
188. HollisterDC said:
Oh no.....I liked the before! Sorry Heather, was the after really WORTH it??
189. admin said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
This is the best comment thread in YEARS.
190. jlws said:
Downgrade.
191. QueenTess said:
Alpha @183 - I'm with you on this. I was expecting something truly "nutty", but it's just a handful of people saying they don't like the look of the bathroom. I don't either, it looks like a cheap 1950's style bathroom.
I guess I'm just an asshole now.
192. Numanu said:
My dearest Heather mamacita...Please do not break another toe by hitting yourself with one of the vanity's legs...I had a mental picture of it and it wasn't pretty!
193. Jeanne said:
I don't get it - what's wrong with the tile? I don't mind it at all. Love the modern mixed with the vintage. It's cool - it's Mintage!
Good job Jon, I know you worked your ass off. :-)
194. Liesel said:
Holy anger around here! Comical, to say the least. WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE is going to be my response to anyone who complains for any reason from now on. Seriously comical. Whew, thanks for the laugh, Heather. And, I love your taste. Love it.
195. ERIN_K_B said:
This a place to shower, shave, and shit.
Anyone who doesn't like your redesign needs to remember that.
For what it's worth, I think it's great.
196. ashby said:
uh. time still still for nobody, Heather.
197. Ashley said:
I personally love what you did, and i'm glad you kept those cool old tiles! I have some of those, but they're in this lovely shade of....teal. 80s teal. It takes a lot of strength every night not to rip them all out.
Your use of color is fabulous, by the way. Very simple and elegant. One thing I might have done would be to have put an orange or some other colored thick tile border between the hexagonal tiles and the rectangle (you know, because you guys didn't have enough to do!!). But you know what? As long as you aren't bothered by it, thats all that matters. You won't even notice it after a little while.
Some of these comments are highly entertaining, I must say. Jealousy is never a pretty color.
198. Donny Pauling said:
That is the greatest bathroom makeover I've ever seen! I love the tile. LOVE. IT. I want to frame photos of this bathroom all over my house! You two did an amazing job! Absolutely fabulous! Awesome!
(I wanted to be the voice of hope in a sea of hopeless comments... I might have gotten carried away a little)
But seriously... call me a bachelor, but I like it.
199. Jockey said:
Hi Heather,
Just wanted to say I personally love the new look. I don't mind the tile differences as much as everyone else, and I am incredibly envious of the 2 sinks! I do wanna add though, the comments are not as bad as you made me think, except #100 (*shudder*), it's all constructive or kind. You can't always expect either totally happy ones...but I guess you know that. Anyway, love your taste! :D
200. Christy said:
To #93 / 94 - You seem to be a bit angry - get your head out of your ass and come and join us for some fresh air! I never understood people who got THAT angry about others' blogs. Like Heather cares what you think. And by posting anonymously it shows you to be a fine upstanding citizen. Maybe you should go sit by your gravesite and hope no one actually pushes you in - you're almost there already as you say.
I second what #108 and #110 said - HILARIOUS stuff people! I bet if you had to leave your name #93 / 94 would have not even posted. How miserable that person must be. And why did it post so many times?
201. Erika said:
The bathroom is awesome! I personally love the old and new tile together.
But one request... please don't delete any of the crazy comments... because I have to drive home from work now and don't want to miss any of them... they are hysterical!
202. Fanny said:
Sorry QueenTess and Alpha, but comment #100? Is downright nutty. 62 is a gem as well.
I think the funniest thing about this thread is the extent to which people feel the are somehow obligated to say they don't like it. With exclamation points! As though Heather and Jon somehow owe everyone a bathroom that passes internet troll muster? I don't get it.
Also, Alpha's critical reading skills need an upgrade. Heather hasn't called any of these commenters "assholes"; only other commenters have ventured into that realm (but it's really nice to know that the asshole threshold lies at comparing someone else to Hitler - I've always wondered just where that line can be found, and I think I'm going to develop a helpful wallet card for easy future reference).
203. Andria and Co. said:
I have a feeling Jon is going to be ripping up that tile sooner than later.
The previous vanity looked longer... Did you move the wall, or are my eyes deceiving me?
204. Christine said:
For those making asinine comments.
You should see our bathroom.
We cannot afford to remodel so try looking at our bathtub, tile, and crappy vanity from 1960 when they threw our house together and previous owners ran it into the ground.
205. Rhi said:
These comments are fantastic and just what I needed after a somewhat tedious day at work.
Also - really? Does one spend enough time in the bathroom to be bothered by mismatched tiles? Because my bathroom floor is REALLY ugly, and it doesn't bother me that much.
But, my decorating tastes are probably too sophisticated for the internet.
206. Me said:
There are simply too many people with too much free time on their hands picking apart your remodeled bathroom. Personally, I have very few moments of free time during any given day. All year long academia and three kids age 13 and under will do that to a single mother, I suppose.
Hell - if you're happy with YOUR remodeled bathroom that YOU paid for, I think that's great. :P (How'd you like that?! LOL!)
Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.
I have a life, therefore my time on teh internets is done for now. LOL! :)
207. Ashlea said:
Aww Dooce, people are not "nutters" just because they don't like it. I'm convinced my husband has OCD and if you can not look at those tiles then please tell me what meds you are on, because my husband NEEDS them. I agree though that it is what you like that counts.
208. Swiper said:
Yeah, the remodel looks terrible. Sorry. The mismatched tile is pretty tragic and reminds me of a rest stop somewhere. The vanity isn't cool, but the art looks good. I guess that means I'm "crazy" or "nutters" because I hate this bathroom. If you weren't crazy before, spending just three minutes in this disaster of a bathroom will make you totally insane. Yuck!
Ok now cue the asskissers.
209. juliette said:
Wait -- you swapped out the vanity and mirror. And what else? I guess I don't get all the drama. I mean, even I've done THAT remodel.
Looks nice tho. Think Jon should fix that tile for you when you're away some weekend. And knock down the wall
210. Nicola said:
I don't usually read the comments, Heather, but decided to do so after your prompt. Holy crazy commotion, Batman! Number 66, Tile Hater, you are a pompous wanker. And #93, 94 and 100, dude, get a grip! It's gonna be OK, go and have a cup of tea and a little lie down. Hilarious.
211. jillian said:
I love it when you out the nutters! The tile looks fine. Sheesh don't break another toe. I think it gives the bathroom personality (Tile, not broken toe)
212. Chelle in San Jose said:
Thanks for telling me to read the comments. I rarely do, and these have been incredibly entertaining.
I have no other opinions. Cause really, no one on the internet cares what I think, and I'm not self absorbed enough to think that they do.
213. Anonymous said:
Maybe you can get your money back. Hope so.
214. kalen said:
lololol. i love the people that are passing out + dying over this.
it's like they were reminding you that the tile didn't match & didn't look good, as if you didn't emphasize that yourself.
anyway. i'm obsessed w/ that vanity. and with people who think they're too "sophisticated" for ikea. aka: they're 60+ years old.
:Dbye.
215. love dooce said:
ok dooce and blurb. I LOVE YOU GUYS I really do but oh no..I woulda just waited the two weeks but then again I don't have to live with a cranky pregnant woman and a kid. but still...hmm...that square tile just totally throws off the bathroom. sorry!
216. Carolyn said:
Posts #93,94, 100 and 137 all need an enema!
217. middle-aged-woman said:
I love the new look, and that rug is to die for. I actually think the rectangular tile looks like a little custom-fit flooring base for the new vanity. Very nice, and congratulations on surviving the ordeal.
218. Amanda said:
OMG the comments are awesome. I never read the comments, but I'm glad I did. TOTALLY needed that laugh.
219. Cio said:
#1.Dooce. You're hilarious. and the photos you take are way fun.
#2. the bathroom looks lovely. Love the cabinet ( I love IKEA!) The rug is Fabulous!
220. SarahBellum said:
Dude it's like douchebag city up in these comments.
I think the remodel looks great! I actually really like the tile difference. It give the bathroom character.
221. NothingButBonfires said:
Ha! Well, the comments could be EVEN ruder, I guess -- I mean, imagine if you'd written about the bathroom remodel while SIMULTANEOUSLY DOING THE CLEANSE!
222. Kate said:
Awesome job! The bathroom looks really great. I totally dig all the orange - not your typical boring bathroom at all. Oh, and I don't think the tile looks bad - it almost looks like it should be that way.
And boy, some of these people are nuts, huh?
223. Harmony said:
this has nothing to do with the subject, I hope you can read this, i just wanted to say THANK YOU, I have now a 3 month old and read your book when she was one month. NOBODY told me it was going to be THAT hard, you are the ONLY one and it made me feel sane, i'm crying as I write this because you wrote many things that I was goping thru and felt relieved because I thought I was a bad mother.
thank you, thank you! I live in Mexico, so now you know that you help women in other countries as well.
thank you for writing your book
I also have 2 dogs... like i dont have enough with the baby...
I wish you the best with your second child and your family
Harmony
224. Melissa said:
Had to come read the comments after your tweet. Ha! Personally, I think the different tile looks cool. It's kind of funky and goes with the orange accents. The before photo of the bathroom was just so...blah and so much white, but I like color.
225. Amanda said:
Two Words: Awesome.
I love the bathroom... so the friggen tile doesn't match, who cares? You know what I DON'T do, when I walk into a strange bathroom? Analyze the fuck out of the tile.
What I am doing.. however is rooting through the medicine cabinet. Luckily, you won't have that problem.
226. Kate said:
I've never read the comments before so thank you for the heads up!
I'm also confused about the remodel because the 'before' vanity does look a lot bigger. I assume it's just the angle of the pictures.
I also prefer the 'before' bathroom, but it's not my house so I didn't get a vote. The after looks nice, too, and the faucets are a huge improvement.
I can't believe your dogs don't bother the spare toilet paper that's on the floor. Mine would be stringing it all over the house!
227. Anonymous said:
"I'm self-important like that." I think that's next month's banner headline, Dooce!
228. Lollyblogger said:
Crikey. That bathroom tile is enough to spin me into orbit. You guys really need to fix that. Maybe add more of the tile around the entire bathroom to make a border? Maybe you could get to work on this in between your contractions? You don't want to lose your mucous plug in something so unbalanced. I'm just saying. :)
229. Christina @ PMV said:
Hee. I've scared my kitties (and probably my neighbors) with all the howling at these comments. Brave, brave Dooce. Haven't you ever read the comments at Apartment Therapy? People LOVE to hate design.
Best comment thread ever. Thanks for the twitter; I read the post too early to see the GEMS. Geez, people.
230. Krystyna81 said:
These comments will keep me awake for days on end. I was going to re-decorate my master bath, but since I have a wonderful husband and 2 healthy children, and well let's face it, God-Given artistic talent and excellent taste, I shall refrain from spending any money since I should be repetant for even considering improving my surroundings or believing that I have the right to do so.
Oh and I love the rug.
231. clara said:
has everyone gone mad, manners people! we know everyone has their own individual style & taste, but really, surely people dont have to be so nasty with their criticisms. have we all suddenly found the way to obtain perfection overnight and left dooce out of the secret?
would you walk into their home and say that kinda stuff to their face? ummm, thought not....
for what its worth, lovin the orange!
232. Carrie said:
I find it particularly stunning that this post rendered a comment that said, "WE WILL ALL DIE." I hope that works its way into next month's masthead along with something about having cheap taste.
Seriously - bravo on the work. I have such respect for people who can actually finish projects around their home. We're still working on finishing the bedroom project we started when we moved into this home...five years ago.
233. HArmony said:
I read most of the post.. and JEEEEZZZ people, get a life.
If you dont like it , DO you Actually NEED to say it?? let me make something clear: SHE LIVES THERE and YOU DONT!!!
SO???
ITS NOT IMPORTANT THAT YOU DONT LIKE IT... she'll live....
234. Mamalouise said:
I realize that by writing this comment I am totally am being "that girl" as many of the peeps above are...but honestly people. You crack me up. As if Heather, Jon, Leta and baby care about your opinoin on their bathroom. Yes, she posted this lovely and witty description of the process of their remodel...and showed before and after pictures but its because THEY ARE HAPPY with it. And I am sure they laugh at you as they hit the button that says its okay to go ahead and post your ridiculous comment. And again, I am so that girl right now too...but normally I hold to myself. You guys are SOOO those people that rate hotels on expedia.com and then I go there because people like you said that it was good and IT TURNS OUT TO SUCK and I am pissed and vow to never read those stupid reviews anymore and just go with the hotel pictures. You are so those people. Damn you. Heather and Jon-Bravo as usual, on everything, the remodel, the blog, staying together through it all...awesome job. :)
235. Anonymous said:
Funny how the nutters seem to be anyone who dislikes the remodel.
I guess you can be a bitch like that when you are queen of the internet?
236. Brianne said:
Why don't all the haters crawl back into their miserable holes and leave you alone. Keep your negative energy to yourselves people!
237. Tina said:
Wow... suddenly all your blog readers turned into Bob Vila and the Clinton and Stacey of home remodels. Magic!
I think the remodel is also brilliant--only a more work-intensive, slower, sweatier type of magic.
238. Christy said:
Heather - There's your next Masthead - "my taste is too sophisticated to understand your intentions here". Perfect. It almost makes it sound dirty when taken out of context. Or my other favorite choice for masthead would be "We're all going to die" and "Time stands still for no one Heather". You coudn't make this shit up! As to the person calling all of us kiss asses - I only read blogs of people I like (authors etc) - If you do too why are you soo mean to your friends??
239. ML said:
Who knew?
I love the bathroom. And I expected the comments to be about design and decorating and not..I'm not even sure what they are about...I'm in shock...
It's lovely.
240. nickyp said:
Whether I like your bathroom makeover or not really doesn't matter. You like it and you're the one who is living with it.
What I am impressed by is the fact that you did it yourselves. You're either very brave or crazy - probably both.
I hate both my bathrooms and there is no way in hell I am going to even entertain the thought of remodelling them with my husband. I can stand them until I can afford to pay a professional.
And I think people take your blog waaaaay too seriously ...
241. ellzabelle said:
I dunno about dooce, but I fucking love it when people are jealous enough of me to make snide remarks (read: poorly worded, near unintelligible remarks) on my website.
She's thin, she's fucking hot, she's witty, she's successful, she has a beautiful family and a sexy husband, that just about assures me that she will have haters.
Haters make me smile. Their existence assures me of my superiority.
242. Lisa said:
Love the rug. The tile looks really bad - I would have to take a Xanax before I went in to pee or I'd go insane. It looks like you ran out of tile and tried to cheese out with a different one and now there's way too much going on there with the colored tile on the wall and 2 different tiles on the floor and white walls and beige cabinets...it's not unlike how I imagine Sponge Bob would decorate his bathroom. I'd at least put some color on the walls to draw your attention away from that floor and tie things together.
But that's just me. You're the one who has to pee in it.
243. Rachael said:
I'm so glad my blog is private because I would have to rip a hole into people who posted comments like the ones on here. It is unbelievable that some people think that it is necessary to post hateful things, clearly they've never heard the saying if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. I suppose my navy blue and glass living room, chocolate and lime green office and red wine and brown/black dining room would not be up to par with the "sophisticated" taste of some of the readers of your blog. Please send me the link to pictures of your "sophisticated" house so I can pick out everything that I think is an abomination and then let you know in the most hateful way possible. Maybe try using some manners next time Dooce leaves her blog open to comments.
Since I am a huge fan of modern, I think the bathroom looks great!!
244. Laurel said:
I'm gonna float an idea about #93, #94... AND #100: perhaps he/she has lost everything because of a slight anger management problem? Borderline personality disorder? Addiction issues? I did notice he/she still has the use of a computer. But not for long because EVEN COMPUTERS DIE!
I just got my first nasty blog comment and I was honored. You must be bursting with pride.
I dig the remodel.
245. Fidget said:
I'd like to make a coherent comment addressing the comment assholery but all I can think is
tiles dont match, tiles dont match.
I dont know that I could pee in there b/c I'd be sitting on the toilet thinking 'tiles dont match'
Yes, i am slightly insane
246. b said:
Love the two types of tile together, love the rug, love the pics.
Also, love reading all of the crazy that apparently roams the internet looking for important things like tiles to hate on.
247. Spandrel Studios said:
Jon is a brave man, tackling home improvement this late in your pregnancy. My husband and I are convinced our marriage has been so blissful because we have yet to go through a major home renovation... Well, there *was* that new sewer line we had to have replaced unexpectedly a few years ago. But there are fewer design choices involved with a sewer line replacement than for a bathroom remodel.
248. Erica said:
I rarely read comments on "big blogs" but as soon as you posted these pictures, I thought "oh shit - here come the nutcases." And sure enough, I was right.
What cracks me up is that some people obsess over their bathroom remodels and think that people actually give a shit if they have brass or nickel spigots or if the tissue box should be on the left or the right of the bowl(like an odd bathroom bridezilla?) but in your crazy-ass life, people ACTUALLY CARE. This is a never-ending source of amusement for me.
Thanks
249. Meranath said:
The anonomyous commenter needs a kick on the balls. I'm sitting here with my new baby on my chest, hormonal as hell, and I go and read that shit. Seriously trying not to start sobbing. Jerkoff. I didn't need that.
250. Brianne said:
Well said ellzabelle! :)
251. Bianca said:
you're right about the crazies coming out in full force today, i can certainly see why you'd hesitate opening up comments on your posts.
anyway, your style, as ever, is lovely.
252. Tori said:
The square tile under the vanity makes it look like it sitting on a tile rug. It's actually a popular way to tile in a bathroom.
I think the only way that someone would see it is if they were sitting on the floor in front of the vanity. Given your inability to bend at the waist I'm guessing Jon took the under the vanity photo.
It looks great and once Not Maria arrives you two can think about knocking out that wall and putting in the jumbo tub and shower.
253. Jess said:
Wow...that's almost all I can say this is quite the comment board...
Your bathroom style isn't so much my taste (you guys seem to have a very mid century style which isn't quite my thing) but you do what works for you and what you like. As for the crazy people who feel the need to take out their misery on everyone else and lack a sense of humor....I say fuck em. :)
254. Erin said:
I'm just wondering how many more people will work the words "scratching my head" and "hater" into the comment section here. If you are scratching anything, you are thinking about it too hard. New bathroom stuff. It's your style or it's not. Cool. Move on people.
255. Caitlin said:
Dood, QUEEN OF THE INTERNET is a really hard job, so duh. You totally get to be a bitch. And also, I never knew how passionate the American public was about a bathroom. Or toilet paper placement... . . ...
256. chrissy said:
I love how lame some of the commenters on here are. Sometimes I read their negative comments just to laugh at how lame they are. Does this make me lame too...yes, yes it does. I like to call it "watching the stupids" (about the commenters that are negative...not you...you guys ROCK).
257. Jack & Jill Put Up A Blog said:
HA! The comment thread is freaking awesome! I'm laughing my butt off - thanks for pointing them out - I am sure you and Jon are rolling as they come in...
258. Sarah said:
Well .. you've definately had some opinions!!
I think the vanity is cool .. and while I agree with #66 that SOME things at IKEA can scream cheap .. this vanity does not. It's really cute, and I love that you can have two sinks now, the faucets, super duper nice .. nice taste, and the overall coordination of picture frames .. with vanity front is nice.
259. Nathalie said:
I...we...then...tile...just...wow...margaritas?
260. LaundryDayBlues said:
WOW. Just wow. Holy crazy people!!
I think it pretty impossible at this point to expect anyone to even read this comment, by now they've fallen asleep reading all those that came before me. *yawn* In fact I think I'm about to do the same.
Good work on the remodel. Surviving it means it was a success. :)
261. The Mom said:
An easy way to hide those non-matching tiles is to glue a long strip of orange fabric around the bottom of the vanity, wide enough that it hangs down to the floor. Take the bottom drawers out and glue the top edge of the fabric to the bottom front edge of the vanity. You don't even have to hem the top edge because it will be invisible. It'll look really cool, and you'll have created a secret hiding space!
262. Allie said:
My Jon-no-H and I would have made the same tile decision because while we would really want it to match, the instant gratification of it being done would be worth much much more.
And I love the astronaut pictures.
263. Anna said:
No, no, y'all -- the masthead should say, "You're the one who has to pee in it."
Good Lord, people. Seriously? Those of you spewing poison about someone else's bathroom remodel need a healthy dose of Nobody Gives a Crap. I am certain there is something in your house that is ugly. And if I barged in and told you your bedspread or wallpaper border was ugly, would you change it? Hell no. You might forcibly show me your collection of nunchucks, but you wouldn't redecorate. Because it's an OPINION and it doesn't MATTER. Remember what they say about opinions -- yeah, it goes for you too.
Heather, I am just glad you and Jon survived it and that you will enjoy it and that it will make you more comfy!
Wouldn't it be funny to compile a book of all the worst, most idiotic, vile and unintelligent hate into a book? If it sold, imagine how pissed those people would be if you got paid for repackaging their BS! HAAAAAAAAhahahahahahha
264. srab said:
dang, the crazies are out today!
personally, i like the two different tiles, but i grew up in a really old house that had awkward, kitschy touches like that. to each their own, obviously :)
and i suppose this makes me an ass-kissing sycophant but i love your style! your pictures (even if they're not of your home/dogs) always inject a little zen in my day, and your stories never fail to make me laugh. thanks, chica!
265. Elyse said:
People are nuts...
It looks awesome!
266. a.e. said:
1) Can't believe you managed to get through a remodel during your pregnancy. My sister's have told me that the fastest way to a meltdown is to attempt to do any type of remodel or house hunting when your pregnant and nesting.
2) You and Jon have such superb taste. I guess that stems from your background as a graphic designer, but maybe if you ever consider a career change, you could help those of us with a diminished visual style to design our spaces. Just a thought...
267. EntertainingMom said:
OMG this is absofuckinglutely hilarious! I never post but I do read... your posts, never your comments... until you directed me to do so tonight...
At least people are honest, right? I guess? I say if you like your reno and you are happy with the result that's what counts! There are many beautiful homes that are not my style but they are still beautiful.
As for the AssHOLE who made those obnoxious comments, WTF??? Can one not be sarcastic and poke fun at oneself? I do this all the time. I whine and I complain and I whine and complain some more. I have nice things and I want nicer things. Doesn't make me a bad person. Doesn't make me selfish. Makes me real and honest. And Heather is honest. And real. And that's what makes her cool. Do I agree with everything? Maybe not, but that doesn't make her a bad person. AND, just because she has nice things and wants nicer things doesn't mean that she takes what she has for granted... doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate all that she does have... doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate her child(ren) and her husband... Life sucks and people die. Get over it and make it better. Life is Good.
268. Sarah said:
So, how's the toe?
269. Billy said:
Target. Ikea. FLOR. I'm sorry, but everyone LOVES your taste because it's mass market gear for the American Idol crowd.
270. lauracope said:
whichever commenter called the mismatched tile a "tile rug for the vanity" is right on. i was going to say something similar but it wouldn't have been as eloquent. i love it!
271. Anonymous said:
If you read the title of the post, you'll realize that the so-called "haters" are actually AGREEING with Dooce. Bad things really do happen to nice, widely-read and admired, pregnant people and she had the guts to make the bathroom catastrophe public knowledge. It's fine if you like the changes, but it's also okay if you share her view that the makeover was a fiasco.
272. priscilla said:
don't know what i liked more... the photos of the kickass bathroom reno or the CRAZY LOONS STALKING YOU ONLINE!
273. Iceman said:
I'm impressed! And while preggers too!
274. Smalltown Mom said:
I'm so not going there...not even going to READ the comments until after I post.
My husband and I are in the middle of what was a simple "just replace the damn disgusting toilet" remodel... which also requires a floor replacement. (But I have to say, I'm not going to rip out the vanity to put new flooring under it. Sorry, future owners. You are warned!)
So ditto comment #61 - good job not killing each other. Because if my h suggests ONE MORE THING....
275. Swiper said:
Dear Dooce,
You opened comments on this thread because you expected a unanimous chorus of "that is the most awesome bathroom in the universe!!!" When that didn't happen, you labeled those who didn't agree as "nutters." With all of your millions, why didn't you just hire it out?
Your friend,
Swiper
276. Alison said:
Reading the comments put a song in my head. With apologies to the B-52s, "...everybody had matching tiles..."
Sometimes I crack myself up.
Oh! And my Captcha is "nifty office." Hee!
277. dooce said:
With all of my millions! HAHA! Oh Swiper, my friend, do you believe everything you read?
278. Rebecca said:
I think it looks great. My mom used to tell me when I was young that couples that go through remodeling/renovation projects are the most likely to divorce because of all the stress it brings. I can't believe you and Jon did it, got through it and all the while you are pregnant! A feat not to be underestimated... really. :)
279. Bea said:
My comment on the tile: blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.
My comment on the commenters. To "ManlyPig": I just want you to know that I glanced very quickly at the name and thought it said "Manilow". It was a very quick glance. But when I looked again I saw I was wrong. Disappointing.
280. Chris said:
I might have to borrow "assholery".
281. Icame-Isaw-Isaiditsucks said:
listen people, heather knows this makeover sucks. She called it a catastrophe. She KNOWS.
I just can't believe it sucks and it took so long to suck. HOW ON EARTH DID JON MANAGE TO MAKE THAT JOB LAST LONGER THAN 45 MINUTES?
282. Amy said:
Ever notice how many words people can't spell when they criticize you! Wonder what that says about them....I'm obsessed with spelling and think this is just hilarious! Love the bathroom!
283. Psyndee said:
I think you should get another rug and put it under the sink. I would notice that tile and it would drive me crazy every pee.
284. teegees said:
I love your bathroom and I love your posts about the remodeling of said space. I love pretty much everything you post about everything. I weep on days you don't post...
Here's the thing, I'm just some anonymous person who'll probably never even meet you, much less take your toilet for a spin. Some of these freaks leaving comments (Yes #66, I'm talking to you) imagine you care whether we like it or not. Like you're actually going to bust out the crowbar and start prying off the tiles and replacing them with something that is more suitable for our discriminating tastes. Amazing how seriously some people take themselves.
You rock and the haters can take a flying leap. It's your bathroom, enjoy it!
285. MikeWJ said:
Projects like yours all start the same way. You're watching This Old House or Myles of Styles on HGTV and you see them transform a 500-year-old New England barn or a hail-damaged trailer into a French Chateau in 30 minutes, minus commercials. And because you're an idiot, you think to yourself, "Hey, I could do that!"
Forty-seven trips to Home Depot and thousands and thousands of dollars later, the word "compromise" starts creeping into your vocabulary. As in, "I know the tile doesn't match, but it's a good compromise," or, "I know the ceiling isn't supposed to have holes in it, but I like holes. They provide ventilation and they're a good comprise between finishing the job or killing my family with a trowel."
My advice after years of failed do-it-yourself projects: Don't start anything unless you've got a lot of time on your hands -- as in enough time to create entire planets -- or you can afford to hire a professional to finish it.
286. Amanda said:
Number 235 should be your next masthead!
"I guess you can be a bitch like that when you are queen of the internet?"
Thanks for the direction to the comments. It is always a fun time when you open them up!
287. Jeni said:
Well. . .I mean, what did you think would happen? You post pics of your house and open comments. Of course people are going to hate it. Comments aren't open on every post. In my opinion, when Heather opens comments, it basically means "So, what do YOU think". So people said it.
Sure, some of them were assholes, but that's else do the assholes have to do but comment that they hate your bathroom?
288. Rachel said:
93 & 94, wow, cranky much? You don't happen to be the same troll that does this to most of her posts, do you?
Life is also not without humor. Sarcasm constitutes humor. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Also, Heather's life hasn't been without severe complications... if you'll take the time to poke around her blog and her books. I think that Heather deserves every bit of what she's got. She's worked hard to earn what she's got, and I think that you're completely missing that in your unfounded attack on her.
In my own life, I must use humor and sarcasm to survive. It's quite the pity that you can't really read between the lines and see that it's just that: humor. Sarcasm. Sometimes, that's all we got after life has taken everything else away. And sometimes, we've got nothing but sarcasm and humor to build on.
Heather really has many more dimensions than you made her out to be in your snap judgment.
Life sucks, yes. We can either laugh about it or cry about it. I choose to laugh, and I choose to read Heather's blog because her wit, sarcasm, and humor make me laugh. I've cried about it, but I like laughing better.
289. teegees said:
WOW, just noticed #93, seriously, get some counseling...
290. Swiper said:
Dear Dooce,
Yes, kinda. Especially when Oprah says it on her show. I can never doubt "The Great Oprah." Can you?
Your pal,
Swiper
291. faydean said:
I'm with alot of other commenters here on this would have been better left to when you guys had more time and energy. While it looks ok, that tile thing is a huge eyesore. You just need to go ahead and break up the rest of the tile and continue the square ones. It just looks, well, bad.
Sorry...but I wouldn't want you guys to leave that and think you could sell the house with it like that someday. I'm sure you don't.
Besides the floor, it looks nice. Save up and just get a floor guy to fix it for ya after the baby is a few months old.
292. Jodi said:
"Queen of the Internet" is going to be next month's tagline right? ;)
293. Anonymous said:
I'm so sorry to be rude, and I don't even know how to put this lightly---that is reallllly ugly. Sorry. And the square tile under the vanity???? I would have waited a year if it meant it would have looked better. Seriously. You cut corners and rushed the job and it SHOWS! And then on top of that you parade it on your website. Boo.
294. Superfantastic said:
How dare you do what you want with your own bathroom in your own house with your own money and manual labor!
I will never understand where people get the mental energy to be morally outraged by stuff like this.
295. Frances said:
You wrote a post about a remodel, included photos and opened comments. I'd say that's pretty much a solicitation for opinions.
Personally, I'd have waited for the tiles to be special ordered. I've been pregnant - twice - and I'd rather take the stairs for two weeks than live with mismatched tiles for the rest of my life. It's an eyesore.
296. dooce said:
Boo!
297. Anonymous said:
Oh the nutters have made me giggle, so glad you opened comments on this one!
298. Katy said:
I was going to remark on how I like your new bathroom, but then I was reminded of my impending mortality, so I decided to gorge my sorrows with some chips and salsa.
Maybe your next remodel should involve coffins and urns, so nobody can accuse you of not keeping it real?
299. jwg said:
Loved your story. Love the comments even more.
300. Amo said:
I think number 235 gave you the next mast head: "Queen of the Internet."
My grandmother always said, "Opinions are like assholes..." and there are plenty of them here. ;)
I would share my opinion, but who gives a damn. Hell, I don't even care anymore after reading #100...
Maybe I'll just have some wine instead. Heh.