A routine expedition
Saturday afternoon I checked my mailbox and found a package from a reader named Lindsey full of t-shirts silkscreened with images of the characters from Land of the Lost. I bet half of my readers haven't ever heard of that television show, and if you're one of those people then I am very sorry that your childhood was so unfulfilling. I bet you never owned a My Pretty Pony either. These are surely unresolved issues that you should bring up next time your family gets together for dinner, right after your father turns to your sister and says, "You were always the pretty one."
I was so excited about these shirts that I actually stripped right there in the kitchen to put one on. I gave a cursory glance over my shoulder to see if there were any neighbors passing by the house, and Jon just shook his head because he knows that even if there had been I would have stripped anyway. It's not that I'm trying to tempt the old Mormon up the street, it's just I'd have to walk several feet into another room to find a place that you can't see from the street and that is just too sensible. The part of my brain that would tell me to walk to another room is missing. It's the same part of the brain that would stop me from putting on a pair of five-inch heels when I know I'm going to be walking half a mile uphill. In that situation all my brain says is THAT'S WHY GOD MADE BAND AIDS!
I chose to wear the shirt featuring a portrait of Chaka, a small chimpanzee-like humanoid:
After I pulled it over my head and straightened it out over the top of my shorts Leta took a step back to admire it.
"I love your shirt, Mama," she said. I was waving my outstretched fingers around it like a model on The Price is Right, and before I could thank her she continued, "Is that a picture of Daddy?"
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
301. Devon said:
LMFAO
302. Katie said:
Sadly, the only Land of the Lost I am familiar with is the nineties version, which was pretty stupid as I recall.
Leta cracks me up - Chaka does bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Armstrong.
303. Lindz (Yankee Girl Designs) said:
My Pretty Ponies rocked, and were soooo much cooler before they changed the name to 'My Little Ponies' WTF is up w/ that?
304. Meredith said:
I LOVED Land of the Lost! I used to think I was the only person other than my dad and brother who knew about this show. I was literally in college before I met another person who was even aware that it had existed.
And now a movie too? I am beside myself...
305. ...loveMaegan said:
um, next to the Jackson Five cartoon, Land of the Lost was my FAVORITE show.
*you get so many gifts from fans ...that's funny. and nice.
306. Rebecca said:
oh burn! when i was young we had polly pockets and the magic school bus!
307. renee said:
um, you are funny, heather, but leta is funnier. i laughed out loud at that, and then i laughed again an hour later. and just now -- again.
308. Pat said:
Funny how pop culture just goes away when you don't have a TV, which I didn't in the years of this show. I was in college then and just too cool for TV. Land of the Lost indeed!
309. Brenda said:
Btw, there was an "Alice" in LOTL. She was a huge dinosaur, an Allisaurus. Sometimes she would fight with the T. Rex, "Grumpy." Sheesh, the memories come flooding back!
310. Melissa said:
I loved Land of the Lost...until the Sleestaks started to talk!
311. Janie said:
oooh Wesley Eure....he was delicious. Even as a kid I knew that. He was on Days of our lives too...cute!
312. carrie@urbanbaby said:
jealous!!! my sister's friend has been working on the film forever...i'm curious to see how they butcher it. it better be good is all i'm sayin.
313. Lass said:
My husband recently brought home the Land of the Lost box set and it has been hours of badly-produced fun ever since. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! Also: random tidbits: Bill Lambier, later of the hated Detroit Pistons, played a Sleestak during the first season. And Wesley Eure, who played Will, is one of the evil entities who produces "Dragon Tales". Blech.
314. Chickpea said:
I scanned through the comments and it only looks like comment #200 - Andra is the only person who remembers the secondary version that came out in the 90's. Nothing compares to Chaka though.
315. Petra said:
This comment is about your previous posts about your cleanse (I was out of town and am just catching up). I'm not following this cleanse in particular, but I have recently started trying to be more conscious about what I eat. I read Omnivore's Dilemma, and then followed that up with In Defense of Food also by Michael Pollan. I live in San Francisco, so getting local organic produce is pretty easy for me, and for years I've been a member of a local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). Still, I almost always paired the food with chicken, beef, or fish. Vegetables remained the side dish, and I didn't know how to change that. When every meal you ate as a child included meat, potatoes, and vegetables, it's hard to get out of that mode. So I bought the most fantastic cook book ever: Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone by Deborah Madison. It's different from other vegetarian cookbooks in several ways. First, I recognize the ingredients and there are few of them. Second, she talks about a general strategy in terms of putting together a meal (i.e. here's how you think about this). Finally, she doesn't just add cheese to everything. There are so many vegetarian cookbooks out there that just have a completely unreasonable amount of cheese.
Anyway, I'm not a vegetarian. But instead of eating some kind of animal with every meal, we now eat animal flesh about once every 2 or three weeks. And when we do we get the ridiculously priced grass fed stuff in the hopes the cow was happy, the meat is tastier and healthier, and the price deters us from eating 1 pound each. I feel better, a lot better even.
Good luck!
316. Susan Walker said:
I'm not going to read through all of the comments, but did you know they're filming a Land of the Lost movie? Probably why she was able to get the t-shirts.
Will Ferrell was just here, in my tiny little desert town in the middle of nowhere, filming it!
317. Mimi said:
So. very. jealous.
318. Stephanie said:
LMAO - this was so therapeutic!! my husband has never seen the show so he doesn't get it when I make references to Chaka! The show scared the shit out of me too but I couldn't resist it either. I needed a laugh. Your site rocks. Thanks!
319. Anonymous said:
My spin instructor has her class spin to the LOTL theme song, and occasionally to a full episode (blasted over with extremely loud techno, of course. Nothing is funnier than LOTL without sound!).
320. Professional Critic said:
Lordy, this is too funny. I was just dicussing LOTL this weekend with a friend and we were trying to remember how they went back in time, what happened to the mother, and just how was it again that Sleestaks had computers? These details really didn't bother me as a kid--I was too stressed out about Will or Holly getting eaten by a T-rex.
321. A Seattleite in Paris said:
lmao, what was Jon's response?
322. chere said:
sooo damn funny... just about the time you start to think that you have it goin' on and you're feeling good about yourself a little 4 year old comes along and cuts through all the fluff to the core and lets you know that you are really nothing but a cartoon character with a day job. I love her.
323. eddeaux said:
OMFG. I wish I wasn't at work so I could have laughed deep and loud instead of supressing it and sounding like I had emphysema. "Is that Daddy?" Classick.
324. Tess Moody said:
My husband was walking by and saw the photo of the shirt and said, "Hey, Land of the Lost!" We're such nerds!
325. Trish said:
I loved Land of the Lost! It was the best show! I loved how they kept long logs in the cave as T-Rex deterrents, I loved the baby dinosaur, Dopey and the Sleestak scared me half to death. I never did particularly care for Chaka---but I loved loved the show!
Thanks for the memories and the earworm.
326. mommypie said:
I LOVED Land of the Lost. My little bro and I still rock the Chakaspeak.
And this is a day for the books -- after alllll this time, I'm actually leaving a comment. It's official. I'm no longer a Lurker.
327. Denise said:
I loved that show! I heard a rumor that there making a movie soon yipee! and if there not the person who started that rumor should be flogged.
328. Lindsey said:
Hi Everyone-
Unfortunately the t-shirts are not available for sale. They are limited edition promotional items from Universal Pictures for the new LAND OF THE LOST Movie starring Will Ferrell and releasing July 17, 2009.
It is awesome to see so many people love the Sleestaks as much as I do.
329. Anonymous said:
I named our dog Chaka in honor of that little creature :)Of course I was also 14 at the time.
330. Anonymous said:
I know this is off topic, but I am curious how Heather's digestive issues have been while on the cleanse?
331. Cdn Shannon said:
CHAKA is AWESOME!
Brings back such great memories. We didn't get to watch it at home only when we went to visit our cousins in the windsor/detroit area.
Too funny after all these years.
332. icyone said:
Probably one of the best post i have ever read on a blog. Wow am I old. Thanks for a trip down the old lost memory lane
333. Dena said:
That's hilarious. The minds of young children still amazes me with their innocence.
334. Leslie said:
I used to watch Land of the Lost with my dad and brother on the weekends. :) I now have the theme song stuck in my head. Which is totally ok. "Living in the Land of the Lost..."
335. Emily said:
Geez. I've been writing letters to Cartoon Network and Nick for months to try to get them to bring back my beloved Land of the Lost. Maybe the power of Dooce could restore this most awesomest of shows back to the tube.
336. White Hot Magik said:
I do recall that show and my little ponies. I loved the pansy photo, may I suggest putting them in larger containers. Sorry sometimes the horticulturist in me just comes out. Why is my captcha short coming, have you met me?