If anyone mentions cheese pizza I may just have to take up violence
Oh, Florida.
Yesterday morning life hit us like a searing laser of Utah sun at 4:30 AM when Coco began howling wildly to be let out of her crate. We were still high from the smell of salt and sea, our bellies still full of fried everything, our minds still as calm as the line of the horizon over the ocean, so it was a bit of a jolt. An unwelcome jolt. A knife to the eye. A kick in the shin. And before I retrieved that dog from her crate I said aloud something Leta had cried out as I put her to bed the night before: "Why can't every day be Florida?"
Turns out there was nothing wrong with Coco, and she didn't even have to empty her bladder. In fact, I think she was expecting some sort of celebration to be waiting for her on the outside of her crate. Her bat mitzvah, perhaps. Where were the balloons? The finger food? The Journey cover band? On and off the bed she jumped, her wet snout in and out of our ears. I let her outside to release her energy, but she stood outside and barked at the door. This went on for two hours. And just as she was about to settle down Leta woke up. OF COURSE LETA WOKE UP. You saw that coming before I even said it, didn't you? It is a special rule of logic that only applies to parents: if a) you have a child then b) that kid will wake up just as you are falling back to sleep unless c) they are staying with Grandmommy. And if c) is true then you will have stuffed that kid with coffee and chocolate right up until you said, "Be good! See you tomorrow!" Because d) it's the only way to get back at your mother for introducing your kid to Barney.
This morning Coco slept in until 6:00 AM, except when Jon let her out of her crate she was covered in diarrhea. He could smell it, but because Jon cannot see without the aid of an astro telescope, he did not notice her tracking it through our bedroom, down the hallway where we discovered poo all over the wall, and out the back door. I followed her outside where she hunched over, grimaced, and puked for over 20 minutes. I then spent the next hour bathing her while Jon cleaned up the crate and the fragrant, candied path through our bedroom. When Leta woke up and saw the handful of wet spots where Jon had scrubbed the floor with Nature's Miracle, she put both arms on her hips, glared disappointedly down the hallway and asked, "Did that dog pee a lot of times?"
I said, no, that's not pee, but she ignored me, counted each wet spot and informed me, "Eleven. She peed eleven times." Thank, you, Leta for gathering such detailed data, although I'm not going to be impressed until you've shown me some charts.
Jon is currently in bed with a sinus infection (yes, I know, neti pot, he uses one routinely, we think there is a bigger problem), and it's taken me a few days to catch up with everything that needs to be done when a family returns from a long vacation. Things like having to walk around the pile of laundry, all the energy burned from having to step over the suitcase that still needs to be unpacked. My friend, Cami, took care of our house, fed Lou, and watered all of my plants while we were away, and she said yesterday that the first time she walked into our house it looked like a bulldozer had dumped a landfill in our living room. And I was all, Cami, we were lucky to make it out of the house without killing each other, and even then we almost missed our plane. So if you're surprised that I would leave my house in such a condition then you can't be upset when I tell you to suck it.
Yesterday was also the first day of a 21-day diet cleanse that I've decided to do that prohibits me from eating any sugar, gluten, caffeine, alcohol, or animal products. It's the same cleanse that Oprah did, and when I read about how it was making her feel I became intrigued, bought the book that inspired it, Quantum Wellness, and decided immediately it was exactly what I needed in my life. I've been meaning to make some major changes in my life, especially since the recent chaos is only going to get more chaotic, and this book outlines some ideas as to how to take charge of the change I want to make.
I'm posting about it here because I think I'll have more motivation to stick to the cleanse if I post about it publicly, and I plan to say a few words about how I'm feeling every day just to help anyone else who wants to eventually try it. I was certain that giving up caffeine would be the hardest part about this change, but the only thing I craved yesterday was cheese and a bite of Leta's Cocoa Krispies. And even this morning the espresso machine did not tempt me. I'm also thinking that after the 21-day period is over that I may continue to abstain from meat, for many reasons, the main one being that I can no longer justify the barbaric treatment of those animals just so that I can have a hamburger. It's as if I've finally been hit over the head hard enough, and I'm ready to change my life, from what I eat to how I react to Coco being covered in poop to breathing through the fact that yet again we've been jolted awake to a mess.
I want to be a better wife, a more conscious and present mother, a more loyal friend, and a better listener. I'd like to handle my anxiety better. I also want to be more organized because I'm tired and fed up with not being able to find anything. Many times that anything is my head. And starting yesterday I feel like I'm on my way to making every day Florida.
Here goes.
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Heather talks about Valentine's Day on today's Momversation.
- I know zero about sports, but my entire heart is screaming, "Go Saints! Go Saints!" I am a stereotypical woman. TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE, JON!
- Marlo has a tooth! So says the blood that she drew when she grabbed my hand and tried to gnaw off my thumb!
- Leta won't eat her birthday cake. I guess we should have made it out of chicken nuggets and iced it with refried beans.
1. katie said:
Can I just cut and paste that last paragraph into my blog? I so totally agree. Except ixnay on the oridaflay and change it to Santa Monica. Curious to see how your clense goes...
2. Rosemary said:
I hope you do make it through your 21 days. If you can make it, then I will try it too :)
3. Amy said:
Booking my flight to Florida now... Good luck on the cleanse thing!
4. Jessica M. said:
Fantastic Heather! Good luck with this challenge. I've heard about the cleansing diet and was interested...so I can't wait to hear about your progress. =)
5. Anonymous said:
Good luck with all that. You'll be my guinea pig.
6. kristen said:
i've been wanting to do a cleanse for a while now, can't wait to hear how it goes. hopefully i'll be inspired to follow suit....
7. Meg said:
Sounds like Florida was just what you needed! Glad you're back in action!
8. Ashley said:
i would definitely be interesting in hearing how it goes...i've been wondering if i need to make a drastic change in my diet for the sake of my insides and also my anxiety. good luck!
9. Amy said:
Glad you had such a great vacation! I agree, coming back home is always a rude awakening (even without puppy diarrhea).
Good luck with the cleanse! I don't think I'd ever try to give up so much all at once, but I look forward to reading your opinion of the experience.
10. Allison said:
No sugar, gluten, caffeine, alcohol, or animal products.
What else is there?
No, seriously. What else is there?
11. Dee Anne Simonton said:
Fitter. Happier. More productive.
12. Becky said:
Wow! Good luck with that. I can't wait to read about your journey as I sip my wine while taking breaks to eat my cheeseburger on a big fat white flour bun.
Signed,
Fat and Happy In Wisconsin. Sadly not Florida.
p.s. Leta kills me.
13. Kat said:
I successfully completed a seven-day cleanse and I wish I had the impulse-control to go longer. It restored my energy levels and curbed sugar cravings.
If you are uneasy with the treatment of stockyard animals you could try eating organic free-range meat. We have switched entirely. The cost is so prohibitive that we only eat meat a few times per week instead of every night.
14. dot said:
We're off to the beach next week...then maybe I too shall try the 21 day thing!
15. the almost right word said:
no alcohol??! you crazy, girl!
16. Mel said:
Such an inspirational post! That last paragraph can be modified to fit anyone and I think it serves as a challenge for everyone to get their life into a better place. Good luck to all of us :)
17. Spring said:
I wonder if there could be any way to explain to Leta how truly profound her question is. I'm sitting here at my cubicle wondering _the exact same thing_.
18. Erica said:
I'm way too weak to 'cleanse'. Oprah, be damned.
19. Jennifer said:
Good luck Heather! You can do it.
And so you can laugh, I too have adopted a puppy.
20. Mel said:
Hey - take charge and just stick it out for the 21 days. I'm sure you'll feel fantastic from the cleanse AND for accomplishing such a big goal. Keep us posted!
21. Trysha said:
I especially like the last paragraph. I think we are always in a constant flux of change or needing change.
Whatever you are, be a good one. ~Abe Lincoln
22. JulieBrown said:
Bravo for attempting to make such fundamental changes in your life, Heather. I'm looking forward to your observations on the process.... and your pithy comments.
As for Jon's sinus infections: perhaps others have suggested this (I don't usually make it through the hundreds of comments you get) but when I was going through the same thing 20 years ago we discovered that it was a wisdom tooth root that was protruding into the sinus cavity and that had abcessed. Sorry if that was TMI, but once that tooth was pulled I never had another sinus infection [knock wooden head]. For what it's worth.
Hope the cleanse provides the change you are looking for.
23. Cori said:
Good Luck with your Florida Life! Don't forget us who are still in crazy land...
24. Laura said:
Best of luck to you.
Very inspirational post!
25. june said:
This is great! The woman who wrote Quantam Wellness is such an inspiration. I'm starting next week - we're going to feel wonderful! Operation MAKEEVERDAYFLORIDA in effect.
26. Jennifer Suarez said:
Best of luck! How wonderful a thought of every day being Florida.
27. sarah said:
doing that same cleanse right now. I'm on day 8 and it has not been easy. let me know if you need any support - good luck.
28. ChristinaTE said:
Coming home from vacation is the hardest part. But man is it so worth it! Good luck with your goals!
29. Swampechaun said:
Best of Luck... your post is inspiring to me maybe, probably, perhaps do the same thing.
30. Marta (Austin Texas) said:
Wow, can't wait to hear about this cleanse. I feel the same way about meat. I could totally be a vegetarian if it weren't for brisket, but since I never cook it myself, I rarely eat meat. Good luck with that! I wish you much Florida!
31. Sharon said:
I can't wait to hear how your cleanse goes ... You are such an inspiration!
32. andrea said:
Looking forward to the updates on the cleanse. I was almost intrigued enough to do it myself, but then found out I was pregnant and decided to hold off until this kid pops out. There are so few things that sound good to me right now, I don't want to limit it even more.
Good luck!
33. Sarie said:
Heather, good luck with all the things on your list. I have to admit, I cringed a little bit at the giving up meat item, because that is just a real pet peeve of mine. I believe that it can be done - we can find meat that hasn't been tortured if we hunt and gather a little harder - but that's just my opinion. The 21-day cleanse sounds good to me - I've done aspects of it, and even just cleansing out the caffeine and alcohol will make a huge difference. Don't get me wrong, I love a good glass of wine (or 4) but sometimes it's really just a great thing to drink, ya know, water for a few days. Good luck.
34. spoiledonlychild said:
If you're into all this, you must read Oprah's darling Eckhart Tolle. His books A New Earth and the Power of Now will give you a whole new perspective.
And can I ask, Florida in summer? Wasn't it as hot as the blazes of hell?
35. Carrie said:
Seriously, have you been reading the Skinny Bitch book? Lots of the stuff you're talking about eliminating is included in what not to eat according to the bitches. Though, they should have called it "Skinny Vegan Bitch", just so you know what you're getting into.
Good luck. Making it all so public takes balls. . . I know you'll stick with it and reap all of the rewards and benefits you deserve.
36. Sarah said:
Gosh, that ocean picture is spectacular!
Does that include seafood too (no animal products)? I hope you can do it, and I'm curious about how you feel about it and what changes you notice in yourself. I'm just not so sure I could give up the Merlot and Corona. Everything else could go though.
Nothing like a dog to bring you back down to reality! But .. at least she's a CUTE dog!
37. Annie said:
You're going to feel and look so much better cutting that crap out of your diet. I've been gluten, dairy and refined sugar free for a few months and it makes a HUGE difference! Good luck!
38. Anonymous said:
Does this have something to do with colonics?
39. Allison said:
Just read a great book about not eating meat. "Skinny Bitch" by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. Check it out.
40. RuthWells said:
Cleanse is a funny word.
Keep us posted.
41. Colly P said:
Good thing for you for trying the vegetarian route! I went off of meat 3 months ago and I feel great. I think it's actually helped with my anxiety, since there is a theory that when you stop eating the adrenaline spiked bodies of animals (because they are afraid before they are slaughtered) it makes you calmer. Who knows, I just know its been good for me. Good luck!
42. Al said:
god, coming back from vacation totally sucks. hang on to that vision, don't let it fade!
43. Emily said:
Seriously. You choose coming back from vacation with a landfill house and liquipoo dog to change your dieting habits? You are nigh unto a god.
If it works, I may try it. Although, you know, who am I kidding with that.
44. Lisa said:
Hey, I'm on day 4 of the cleanse myself! I've found that there will come one point in every day that I try to talk myself out of continuing with it (always, always hunger induced). Then I eat a banana and I'm fine again.
Trying to come up with meals everyday is a struggle. I'm not too keen on vegetables, see... I do feel a sense of calm that hasn't been present before though, and the last month has been really rough, so that's saying a lot for me.
45. Sam said:
Good luck with the cleansing diet. I've been a vegetarian since I left for college in 1995, and it was the best decision I could have made for my body. I hope it works as well for you.
46. Anonymous said:
The cookbook "Veganomicon" would be a great resource for you, food-wise.
47. ilttp said:
LOVING your last paragraph ! Hope you don't mind me copying it in my journal, my Bible,on my hand ???? You are lovely, my friend. Thanks for feeding my thirsty soul.The cleanse ? Please do post~~~~~I am game for it !
48. R Dakin said:
Good luck with your big changes. In your blog you come across exactly as you say you want to be. Organized, present, and a loving wife and mother. I think as women, we judge ourselves much more harshly than we judge others. No matter how successful you are, be satisfied with yourself. Your house is stunning, you are an amazing writer, and you have a great family. An occasional craving for a burger or a stress-induced melt-down doesn't make you any less worthy of admiration. I personally, would rather hang out with you than Oprah!
49. Catherine said:
Color me skeptical. I hope it works out for you, but I'm just saying, being an omg better everything is going to take a lot more internal rewiring than just changing your diet for 21 days.
I do, however, wish you the very best of luck and lots of strength so that you can become the person you want to be! I know how hard it is to realize who you've become is inching away from the person you thought you would be. Here's hoping Florida comes closer every day.
50. Abby said:
If you find yourself struggling to stick to your 21 day cleanse then just pick up a copy of Fast Food Nation, you'll easily be able to avoid any fast food restaurant for at least a month after completing the book. I can't even look at the deliciously salt McDonald's French fry the same.
Good luck and I hope you are able to stick to it!
51. Shannon said:
My mom would be so proud of me for throwing this out there because since she was diagnosed with celiac disease (intolerance to gluten) she has been trying to diagnose the world. Frequent sinus infections are a symptom of celiac disease. Maybe John should try the cleanse diet too if he isn't. Good luck with everything Heather. You're amazing and an inspiration. Also, I hope Coco feels better soon!
52. Stacy said:
Hey Heather,
Good luck with the meat thing...I went vegetarian last year for both personal health and animal rights reasons. A lovely side effect was that I stopped having such horrible cramps during 'that time of the month'. I am now convinced that the cramps were due to all those hormones in the meat I was eating.
I think the most difficult problem I have now with not eating meat is when my husband cooks bacon. Other than that, I don't really miss it. Oh, but that smell of bacon KILLS me every time!!
53. April said:
If you want another reason to abstain from meat, check out Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser. I just finished re-reading it last night. The treatment of people by the meat packing industry is worse than the animals - especially ranchers and slaughterhouse workers.
Good luck on your cleanse!
April
54. Erika said:
I was trying to give up meat for nine days but I only made it to day three. I plan to give it another try. I will keep track of your progress. And if you find anything that tastes just like fried chicken, but isn't, please let us know!
55. Kate said:
I've had a rough week (ok, life), but your words never fail me.
Don't ever stop being Dooce. Or Heather Armstrong.
56. carla said:
The "cleanse" thing is a good start, but why not go a bit further and educate yourself about food and nutrition? You can incorporate good meat (organic, free range, etc) into your diet, and people don't need a ton of meat (most people eat a lot more meat than they need) to be really healthy, but a bit really helps keep your body fed. The key is understanding what you really truly need and incorporating it into your daily life.
Learning about your food is like learning about your money. So worth it. I did it and it changed everything. I haven't purchased a low fat or non fat item in 3 years, and have a much better sense of portion and timing. I don't worry about periodic fried food festivals, because I know that the rest of my eating makes up for it.
Nutritionists are as valuable as any other heathcare professional.
57. Mary Ann said:
I'm so absolutely enchanted with the sea photograph that illustrates this entry, that I can hardly get through a paragraph before I go back to it again. I live on the northern west coast (Washington State)and haven't seen a sea photograph this inspiring for some time. So, so affecting. Is there any chance you may be able to offer prints for sale? Thank you so much for sharing!
58. [michele] said:
Welcome home! Why can't every day be Florida, indeed. (Well, if it was like that stunning photo above, and had nothing to do with humidity, bugs or old people.)
LOVED the guest columnists - thanks to them for the content!
I *think* I want to hear your take on the cleanse. I think.
59. Jen said:
Good luck! I wish you much success on your journey.
60. Krysta said:
Good luck with the cleanse! I recently went meat free and feel great.
61. The Lisa Show said:
Good luck with that, Heather. I'd be an animal rights activist but for the love of god and all things holy, I just can't give up my meat. I fight for dogs, cats, rabbits, dolphins, and even rats. But if you say cow, I say get in my belly.
62. Ulla Lauridsen said:
Take it easy, now, and be good to yourself :-) Maybe your life isn't that easy, and maybe you're doing the best you can.
And please remember, you do need proteine, however you'll get it.
63. zeghsy said:
good luck. i'd like to find the things that live in my house as well. by the time i'm done at work and done at the studio, i have no energy left for the house. sadly it looks just like that. i hate being there as result.
64. Kim said:
Yowza. Nothin' left but leaves to eat. Good luck.
65. Rachel in SC said:
Best of luck with the cleanse. Sounds interesting.
66. William said:
I lived in Florida for two years and It did not have that effect on me.
Does the cleanse include No drinking of Alcohol? Good luck
67. Jennifer said:
I'd kill for a Journey cover band to play a theme song as I live everyday life.
So I totally stole your line about Florida being America's Stretch Mark and referenced it while on a packed flight to San Francisco, wherein the guy next to me overheard my conversation, burst out laughing and proceeded to apologize for listening in on my conversation (not a problem, I was three sheets to the wind, thanks to the Airport Bar and a strong martini) and told me he would use it when talking to an associate from Florida.
Yeah.
P.S. Longest, Sentence, EVER.
68. Clairy said:
I think your cleanse is a wonderful idea and maybe complimenting it with some yoga (if you have time!) would be an excellent way to become grounded?
Best wishes & I'm excited to read about your experiences!
69. mtnd said:
Good Luck to You. But why do people listen to Oprah?
70. Laura said:
I rarely get in here before the comments reach epic numbers, so this is a treat for me.
I'll be following your cleanse with interest. There's no way in hell I'd be able to function without cheese and bread and pretzels and coffee. . .especially not the coffee. . .but I admire you for giving it a try.
Also, kudos to you for wanting to make positive changes in your life. It's so much harder to be earnest and honest in such a public forum than it is to be sarcastic (not that I don't enjoy the sarcasm immensely). If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a sign of maturity.
71. Caroline said:
Hey Heather, I'm RIGHT THERE with you on changing how I think about eating meat. After seeing the slaughterhouse scene in the "Fast Food Nation" movie and reading Barbara Kingsolver's "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life," I decided not to buy beef, pork or poultry from conventional grocery stores, due precisely to the barbarism you mention. My feelings were further cemented upon reading "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan, which is a stunning, shocking, and revelatory read if you care about the food you put in your body.
However, I'm not giving up meat entirely. I can, with a clean conscience, purchase grass-fed and finished beef and pork, and truly free-range poultry from my local farmer's market. Local farms raising livestock this way are usually refreshingly transparent to their customers, and they believe in respecting the animal, giving it a biologically natural (and, quite possibly, happy) life and a quick and merciful death when the time comes. It's more expensive, but is quite morally defensible compared to CAFO meat, is packed full of Omega-3 fatty acids (yeah, the cure-everything stuff usually found in salmon) and tastes about a gazillion times better, too.
72. Txgrrl said:
Mark Bittman has a great article on strategies for intentionally eating less meat. We've employed several techniques with the goal being that the only meat we DO eat is humanely raised/slaughtered and processed cleanly.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/11/dining/11mini.html
Good luck with the cleanse!
73. Rebecca said:
Maybe a cleanse would help my preggo heartburn. I am seeking solutions...
I so empathize with all the things that hit you in the face after vacationing. Painful, really. Our homecomings always come with a line of ants.
I'm advocating meditation--maybe an accompaniment to the cleanse. My buddhist/baptist father says it changes his whole day...and like you, Dooce, if I proclaim it, maybe I'll do it!
A bit random--the order of those thoughts, but that's how I think these days...
74. E-Lo said:
Heather - I feel the same way - I'm sick of being unorganized, tired, anxious, and stressed. And I'm sick of meat, period. When I actually think about it, it makes me sick. But far be it from me to actually think about it while I'm eating a big juicy New York Strip.
Hmm. Yeah. So I'll be interested to see how it goes for you, because I'm ordering the book today. And I keep tripping over suitcases (from a vacation two weeks ago), laundry baskets full of clean clothes, dog hair tumbleweeds, and crumbs.
I just wanted to say, I feel ya.
75. rebecca said:
good luck with the cleanse Heather - I know you can do it :)
I'm doing my best to make small changes to improve my cholesterol. I'm WAY too young to have high cholesterol. Dang genetics...
Here's to cleansing and to making small changes daily that can improve our lives for a LONG time!
76. beauxbeaux said:
I think the cleanse is a great idea! Challenging, yes, but a good way to focus mind and body.
I agree with Kat about free-range organic meats. Some farmers are very conscientious about caring for their livestock and it really shows in the quality of the product. Everyone wins: you get better quality meats, an independent farmer gets to make a living, and the animals have a pretty decent life. Worth the extra $$.
77. Daniel said:
Good for you! You'll find it's very easy to give up animal products. If you're going to give up meat for ethical reasons then you should also give up dairy and eggs. There is more suffering in a glass of milk than a pound of meat. Where do you think veal comes from?
78. kirida said:
Would cleansing make you lose your burping prowess? Maybe that is something to consider.
79. Joy said:
Wow, I have got to get me to Florida....
80. Lori Magno said:
Good luck on the cleanse. All positivity heading your way.
81. Starwoodgal said:
Remember what Erma Bombeck said....
“If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.â€
and
“Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.â€
"Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop offs at tedium and counter productivity."
and finally,
"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies and the sand out of our belongings."
Good luck with the cleanse.
82. Anna said:
I've done a 14-day "cleanse" before. It's hard but it's SO WORTH IT! If you want to get fancy, there are lots of soy-based, vegan items like cheeses and whatnot that are pretty good once you figure out how to cook them. And lots of gluten-free/wheat-free breads too, although I think you're supposed to limit those. I think I'm a dork but I love going to Trader Joe's or Whole Foods and searching for all the foods that I could eat.
After a couple of days, I stopped craving meat and sugar and caffeine. I think our bodies get addicted to preservatives and junk food and that's why we crave them. Once you get the crap out of your system, you don't really care much about not eating it.
Anyway, long story short, I hope it goes well and helps you out. It definitely helps me out whenever I need to get my act together.
83. t@ryn said:
I would like to try the diet sometime, but I know that PMS would likely strike during those 21 days and that would be the real test. Hormones drive me to gummy bears, Dove ice cream bars, and Cokes.
I have been a vegetarian for almost a year now and I am surprised how much I do not miss meat. Sometimes I miss having a variety of choices; the freedom of not caring so much.
As previous comments mention, the book Skinny Bitch is quite persuasive!
84. Alyxherself said:
Hey Heather,
Yay you. I have been a vegetarian for 15 years and was a cynical meat eater beforehand, however, it has worked for me for all the reasons you gave. Oh, and I'm a Floridan :)
One thing...probably you already thought of this but my girlfriend finds she is extremely sensitive to medications because she lives THAT cleanly..no smoke, no caffiene, etc...so I thought I'd say be very aware because your body is used to you lifestyle :) Thats all, loving concern :)
85. Nichole said:
I feel like I need to make some changes, too, but I haven't been able to find a good way to approach it. I hope the "cleanse" is helpful for you, and I look forward to reading about your experience. Maybe it'll kick me into gear.
86. Knaphrodesiac said:
The State of Florida should buy that phrase from Leta and use it to promote tourism.
87. May said:
Incredible post. Way to take charge. Looking forward to following your progress.
88. Kristan said:
You know, when I was a kid, I used to think there were two Floridas. ("Grandma lives in Florida" x 2 Grandmas = 2 Floridas. Logical, no?) Further proof that childhood is the happiest of times.
Glad you're back (no really, you have NO IDEA) and good luck with the cleanse. I hope it helps you achieve the feeling you're looking for!
89. Susan said:
Yup, that's why I went vegetarian. I hear little piggies squeal in pain everytime I try to pick up a pack of bacon. So now I'm off it. And bonus, as soon as I went off meat (red in particular), my stomach felt better- I have chronic IBS and anxiety and both were dramatically reduced. (vegetarian-yoga combo)
Good luck with your cleansing and readjusting to Utah. I can't say I have sympathy- I live in the middle of Colorado and we just had another freak June snowstorm. I'd rather drink bleach than see one more f***ing snowflake.
90. Abigail M Schilling said:
Very encouraging stuff.. I've been thinking about doing a cleanse/switching to a vegetarian diet as well. I'm looking forward to your daily insights.
91. Liz said:
Well, you're a better woman than I am. With a baby and a 3 yr old and working, it's all I can do to keep functioning day to day, much less try to attain a higher consciousness. But I'll be following your journey with interest. And it occurs to me I might have better luck trying to "take away" rather than "add to" - i.e., try to simplify life a little. At least for starters.
Like the author says, baby steps.
92. plue said:
Recently, for the first time, I've been considering going vegetarian. My husband is a vegetarian and for years this was a constant source of annoyance (No French restaurants or BBQ ribs? Boy, life sucks). And now, after almost eleven years together, I am breaking down.
We've always kept a strictly vegetarian house. I used to cook a lot of meals I enjoyed using meat substitutes (TVP and other vegetable protein foods) so that my husband could try the food I liked and came to discover that my recipes were better. My turning point was going to a cow farm and my husband saying, "Aw, isn't she cute? Why would you want to eat her?"
93. binaross said:
I wonder if your diet is all that different from The Fat Flush Plan? No wheat, no caffeine, no aspertame, no alcohol, no sugar. Lots of green veggies and protein, lots of diluted, unsweetened cranberry juice.
Except, on my diet, you can eat meat. What happened to Meat Is Tasty, Tasty Murder, girl?
94. Lori said:
OMG, I've been feeling the same way, and have been looking at doing a cleanse to start things off. Thank you for posting your experience here as I know it will inspire me to do something similar.
I don't know if I can give up my In-N-Out burger (I only get it a few times a year, but when I crave it, I must have it!)... but maybe the cleanse will cure me.
95. Linsey said:
I've been doing this cleanse for 17 days now and today is the first day where I do not have a headache, unmentionable issues going on in my bottom system or the constant desire for the sweet relief of death to overcome me.
The weirdest thing for me is that the cravings I have had were not for the things I thought I would want the most. Honestly, all I really want is a grilled cheese sandwich.
96. sweetcheese said:
Wow--this sounds like a fantastic plan. (Much luck!) I need to work on "being present" as well. And the clense sounds promising, but I would have to adjust. How could I cope without cheese?
97. Anonymous said:
That is such a stunning photograph.
98. Robin G. said:
"I want to be a better wife, a more conscious and present mother, a more loyal friend, and a better listener. I'd like to handle my anxiety better. I also want to be more organized because I'm tired and fed up with not being able to find anything."
Oh? Is that all?
Seriously, though, that's a lot to put on a single diet, or even an overall plan. What you're talking about is a marathon, and part of the marathon is to pace yourself. As someone who has given up and gotten discouraged 100 meters in more than once, be careful how many goals you list -- especially goals like those. You might find yourself deeply disappointed if you can't manage them all at once -- you know, like all other humans. It's not something to approach from a valedictorian standpoint.
Thank being said, I wish you the greatest of luck on your improvement journey. I hope it works for you.
99. Anonymous said:
Are you seriously going to give up BACON?!!
100. Mitchell said:
I'm glad to hear you're going vegan, Heather, even if it's only for a few days. But the no alcohol thing, man, that's extreme! Good luck and maybe I can toss some good recipes your way.
101. Christina said:
We were just in Panama City Beach at the same time you were in Destin. I hope you had the same great weather we did. It was my husbands first time in PCB and since then his 2 year plan is to get the hell out of Chicago, and move to Panama City Beach. I feel your pain of leaving. I kept begging to stay.
102. Emily said:
You'll be awake, you'll be alert, you'll be positive, though it hurts...Your last paragraph instantly reminded me of my anthem of the past few years. Beautiful. I can totally relate to your desire for self-improvement, and think it's great that you're trying to be so healthy, but I also agree with the earlier poster who pointed out how hard we women tend to be on ourselves. Even though I only know what I've read of you, I think you are probably a pretty great person already. So whether or not you make it through the whole cleanse, or go vegetarian, or get more organized, or do anything differently in relation to your husband and daughter, I hope that you will remember how great you are and be kind to yourself. Maybe it sounds silly, but I really honestly believe this is the single best thing we can do for ourselves, our loved ones, and the world at large.
103. Lucy said:
I'm on day five of this thing. It sucks! My head hurts, I'm tired and I miss cheese! Actually, I miss cheetos. And ice cream. I dream of ice cream, big bowls of sweet heaven sprinkled with salty crunchy cheetos. Lord, please help me, I'm losing it....
104. Kara said:
What you need (on the organizational front) is a great assistant. You're too busy to do crappy things like paying bills, making doctor appointments, and making sure all your other appointments don't conflict. You can pay someone else to do it! Bonus: I live right down the street from you, I am currently a stay-home mommy to a 2 year old with way too much time on my hands, and I have an awesome administrative assistant resume. Tempting?
105. Madame Queen said:
Let me know how that public accountability works out for you. I did the same thing when I joined weight watchers and my plan is now down the toilet. Not literally of course b/c I'm kind of a prude and I don't talk about poo, unless it's my kids' b/c I'm a mommy blogger and all. Yeah right.
Of course you have scads more readers than I do, and from what I've seen they WILL take you to task, so good luck to you. I'm afraid I can't even contemplate a life with steak. And beer.
106. Iver Jane said:
Oprah should have you on her show to talk about it. That would be worth Tivoing.
I'm excited to hear about your foray into being a vegetarian. I've been considering the move myself. But I really love hot dogs.
107. JMB said:
The fact that you got the bar/bat mitzvah thing correct gets you an extra 10 points, to be spent on something once a point system is worked out.
108. Yolanda said:
That's the beauty of a great vacation. You arrive home with a sense of clarity, a renewed purpose. Hanging onto that feeling is another matter. It's generally a fleeting feeling, quickly consumed by the demands of every day life and ingrained habits of mind that are hard to break away from. But I hope it's more than a momentary epiphany for you and that you get what you need from the cleanse. I'll reserve my opinions about giving up meat. Who needs judgement when they're trying to turn a new leaf?
109. Jill S. said:
I've been wanting to make a change for a long time, and have circled around Oprah's plan for weeks. I'm afraid to give up sugar. There. How sad is that?
If you live through it, I will try. Thanks for going first
. :)
110. www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com said:
I have been reading Oprah's cleanse blog...I am keen on doing that program too but to be honest the food often sounds rather gross. She had major butt issues after the black bean burgers. Maybe if I had a personal chef to try and make things yummy but I am having a hard time seeing me stick to it. I am thinking July when it's hot and coffee is not so appealing and I can chow down on fruit. Good luck!
111. Katie said:
Ohhh that picture. *weep* I'm another uprooted Southern girl now living in Utah. I miss trips to Florida.
Good luck on the cleanse! I don't know if you've ever read anything by Dr. Oz, but "You: Staying Young: The Owner's Manual for Extending Your Warranty (You)" is a really good read for health stuff like that.
Good luck - love your blog and pics!
112. Anonymous said:
If you do decide to become a vegetarian, can I have your "Meat is Murder. Tasty, tasty murder" t-shirt?
113. Erika said:
Good lord. If you're disorganized, then there's officially NO HOPE for me. I've seen the pictures of your house, and it's about 50,000 times cleaner and nicer than mine will ever be.
We went to Florida in early March, at the end (more or less) of our Winter of the 100 Inches, and while I don't think my 5-yo daughter actually *said* "why can't ever day be Florida?", I'm sure she was thinking it. Come to think of it, so was I...
114. Emily said:
Awesome post. If you haven't already, I highly recommend you read Barbara Kingsolver's "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" (though I see someone else has already recommended it, in which case I second the recommendation). It has made me completely rethink the way we eat, the sad state of our nation's food industry, and so on. As dog is my witness, it will help you make every day Florida!
115. MK said:
I admire any one who even ponders the cleanse. Good for you! You are a more disciplined human that I, which is why I would never judge anyone for not being able to stick to it. Sometimes the body has its own wisdom.
I was a vegetarian for 5+ years but not for any reason in particular. It went well for me, except for the part about people wanting to judge me for it. Or often they became defensive because they expected me to judge them for not being a vegetarian. I was a little ahead of my time, I suppose. One day, it was overwhelmingly clear to me that I needed to have animal protein. So I had some and I felt so much better than I had in the few months prior. But in order to do that, I had to stop judging myself first. Because I had become identified with being a vegetarian.
Oh the 'splaining I had to do! "I am." and then suddenly "I'm not." That was the hard part for me. I was so conscious of appearing to be a hypocrite when I was really just following my bodies wants all along.
Now, it has to occur to me to eat meat but sometimes my body just knows when the time is right. Some people think that the need or tendency is related to blood type or maybe because meat is included in the typical foods of my ancestors.
Who knows?
I gave up the Netti Pot a few years ago and exchanged it for this product called NeilMed.:
http://www.neilmed.com/usa/products.php
It's powerful enough to cleanse the upper sinuses, which a netti pot doesn't do quite as well.
Good luck. As ever, thanks for continuing to show up online and for always being a source of inspiration!
116. Lynda said:
What an amazingly beautiful picture! The colors just take my breath away. One of those you just want to walk into, or stare at for great lengths of time. Thank you for posting it.
I'm surprised at your organization comment. From pics you've shown of your house it looks like you're VERY organized and VERY meticulous.
Good Luck with your cleanse.
117. Amanda said:
Please be careful on the cleanse. Recovered anorexics can get a bit extreme when so much focus is placed on what, when and how to eat. I'm a vegetarian, but I support local, pastured animal food for meat eaters.
118. Marta said:
WAIT!
You can cleanse your body. You can cleanse your mind. You can even cleanse your spirit. But if you cleanse your potty mouth, I'll be really mad.
119. gesikah said:
No sugar, gluten, caffeine, alcohol, or animal products.
So...I'm not sure I could do that for 21 hours, much less 21 days.
I did a no sugar/gluten thing once. Lasted about 5 days but broke down when I walked in my parents' house and caught a whiff of white bread. Which was store-bought, in it's plastic wrap, in the pantry in the kitchen. Even so, it smelled like what I imagine Heaven will smell like as I am shooed back out the Pearly Gates.
Can't wait to hear how it goes.
120. that girl said:
Alcohol, Sugar aaaannndddd (!) CAFFIENE?! Is that some kind of sick joke? That danged Oprah!
Does she have a hybernation cave for me to crawl into during this "cleanse"? Because I'm telling you right now - those three things mentioned above are all my body runs on.
121. Kristin said:
I like you, am always looking for ways to better myself. I can't wait to see what comes of your journey. While I can't see myself giving up meat or cheese, I know there are several changes that I NEED to make in my life and I wish you all the luck in the world with yours. My only question, didn't Florida have fried food? See it's okay to eat that stuff. Florida said so.point :)
122. GoVeg said:
I was just really excited to hear that you are even considering eliminating meat from your diet. I have been vegetarian now for almost 15 years, but I am the first to say meat tastes good. I stopped eating it when as a 12 year old, aspiring veterinarian, and I realized that eating animals when I appreciated their unconditional love, companionship and individuality was beyond hypocritical. (Clearly, I was not a normal 12 year old.) When I was older, I learned to appreciate other aspects to becoming vegetarian that only strengthened my commitment: destruction of the environment, health, factory farming, etc.
I'm sure you're already aware of all these aspects, but while going organic and free-range is a step in the right direction (and better than simply eating meat indiscriminately), I don't think it's enough when it comes to animals. Keep in mind that organic is regulated by the FDA and refers only to pesticides, hormones, etc. Free range, however, is regulated very little (if at all) and is often used in a misleading fashion to imply that eggs/meat were produced/killed humanely when this is not necessarily the case.
Good luck with your 3-week diet cleanse. As dedicated as I am to being vegetarian, I'm too lazy to be that disciplined!
123. Chloe said:
So much for my recent plea for you to feature something about bacon!
Best of luck on the cleansing.
124. GEMMERZZ said:
making your cleanse public is definitely a big help -- the more people you tell, the more you'll feel accountable and will want to stick to it.
i'm an avid cleanser, so i know it can be tough. stick it out, though. the results can be tremendous and you'll feel a lot better about yourself in addition to feeling better physically! i haven't tried this 21-day cleanse, but i'm checking it out now. might be the next one i do after my upcoming one in july!
thanks for sharing and good luck!
125. Rose said:
A very inspiring post! I'm looking forward to reading more.
126. Ms.Moon said:
I like what Michael Pollen says in his book The Omnivore's Dilemma:
"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."
It's doable, sensible, and flexible enough to live with for life.
Bless Oprah- how many ways HAS she found to change her life? Bless us all for following her down all these paths.
127. rb said:
Good luck with your cleanse.
I would like to make what may be an unpopular comment.
Please don't become a prosletyzing vegetarian.
I am meat eater. I grew up on a ranch and I know where my meat comes from. I am fine if my friends and acquaintances want to be vegetarians. I cook veggie burgers and veggie dogs for them when I have a bbq. But about the second or third time they decide to lecture me while I'm eating my hamburger is generally the last time we socialize.
128. candace said:
1) do you read all these comments?! wow.
2) i just discovered you (i am a late bloomer) and have really been enjoying your style - candid, honest, sarcastic. it's so damn refreshing.
3) how in the world do you get so many coments?! i mean i write because i would die if i didn't, but since i have to do it to stay alive, may as well get people to read it right? and then what if they read but don't comment (which i confess i have been doing with you for weeks) how will the "big" people start to notice it and pay me! :)
4) i am the biggest proponent of sefl-care that i know, so i say hells yes to women who refuse to sacrafice all that they are for everyone except themselves.
129. Ingrid said:
To the people that are being critical a single diet will offer Heather all the changes she wishes to make in her life, you're missing the point. She's not saying the cleanse diet is going to make her organized. She's just trying to make some overall improvements with her lifestyle, and eating healthier is among them.
I used to suffer from incapacitating stomach problems, and most of them disappeared when I stopped eating meat five years ago.
Be prepared though for the hoards of people asking you, "But where do you get your protein from?" and them being bewildered by the answer "From food".
130. Julie said:
The thought of no alcohol for 21 days in the summer makes me shudder...no sangria or beer for trips to the beach or picnics in the park? And then I realized "Wow, the fact that I would miss alcohol the most out of that list of things I eat every day? That's kind of sad." Maybe I'm more in need of a cleanse than I thought. Best of luck with yours, Heather.
131. Connie said:
Cheese pizza? (Bring on the violence!)
Good luck with your diet. I, myself, have been taking really small steps to becoming healthier. It first started off with kicking alcohol to the curb, followed by soda, and eventually junk food. Caffeine is the only thing that keeps me going, and I know that I will eventually have to kick that habit, too. Although, you did hear that new research shows that women who drink 2 cups of coffee every morning are less likely to have a heart attack, right? But then again, women who don't drink coffee at all are less likely to be spastic caffeine addicts whose perfectly groomed hair will soon catch up with Einstein's.
132. Sarah said:
God Heather, you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm at work right now, and I just printed your gorgeous picture and taped it to my monitor to help get me through the rest of this week. Also, as so many people have said, I look forward to reading your updates on the cleanse. I've been toying with it for a long time, so maybe this will be the catalyst. As for the last paragraph, I wish I could give a fist bump. That's exactly what I needed to read.
133. Doni said:
Good luck with your cleanse! Hopefully your wit and sense of humor doesn't leave you like the toxins will.
134. Noimagination said:
Congrats on your decision. It's been 18 years since I ate meat, and I feel terrific both health-wise and about the fact that I do not participate in the barbaric and wasteful mass slaughter of animals. And since my husband has (mostly) given up meat, he hasn't been sick at all. So there you go.
135. LG said:
I am on day 9 of the cleanse and I honestly feel a million times better. Getting over the caffeine withdrawal headache was my hardest part - but lots of trips to the farmers market and Whole Foods has kept me going strong! Good luck, and don't forget to throw in meditation or yoga or pilates or something - that really helps with the 'awareness' part of it all!
136. Nicole said:
le siiigh, Heather. When I heard Oprah was doing that cleanse I was like "OH GREAT" now everyone is going to do it as a trend. Going vegan shouldn't be a trend! It's a lifestyle choice. I'm glad to hear you may stop eating meat after that, though. I hope your readers follow your example...but not as a trend.
137. Mandy said:
Can I just say that I heart Destin so flippin' much that when I saw the blue chairs and umbrellas in one of your pictures my eyes welled up with tears? We're headed that way in a couple of weeks...so good for the soul. And please, unless you just organize the little area where you are about to take a photo every time you take a photo - your house looks pretty damn organized to me. But I can so relate to being tired of not being able to find things. UUUGGGHHH. I have too much stuff. Have you read "It's All Too Much?" You should. Did you see the Oprah 2 day show where the author of that book (Walsh? maybe?) worked with this lady who is a hoarder? OMG. I am so sorry I am blogging in your comments. The end.
138. Lou said:
youreawesomeyoureawesomeyoureawesomeyoureawesome. I always thought you were awesome, but now I feel this overpowering urge to say it!
139. Becky said:
Good luck, and thanks for sharing your 21 day cleanse with us, I hope it has the results you're looking for! Here's to Florida every day!
:) Becky
140. EricaB said:
Good luck with your cleanse! I look forward to hearing how you are feeling each day!
I am of the opinion that a vacation is never REALLY a vacation for a mother. Who packs and plans and unpacks and cleans and...well, you get the idea. Always ME.
I HATE vacations. For me it only means squeezing everything I do on a daily basis into a hotel room (or a one room cabin as the case may be)...and then the clean up afterwards. Ugh!
141. Mandy said:
I hope all goes well in the next few weeks!
But, is Coco OK? My little guys have bouts with gastroenteritis, and the vomiting can be a really serious symptom. I hope she's feeling better soon.
142. michelle said:
Looking forward to followng the progress. I would rather hear your experience with the cleanse than anything that oprah has to say.
Just sayin'.
143. Undomestic Diva said:
But do they have to call it a "cleanse?" It would be way more appetizing if they just called it something else. Anything else.
144. victoria said:
Good luck! I'll be fascinated to know how the cleanse works for you.
145. andrea said:
Good for you! I'm looking forward to reading about the cleanse. Maybe some day I'll actually try it but no cheese! That seems like some sort of sin.
I've been there with the dog diarrhea all. over. the. place. You have to fight the gag reflex while you scrub every inch of it out of the carpet. Ew.
146. kerri said:
fyi, some doctors believe there's a connection between sinus infections and dairy. sounds like jon should try a cleanse diet too...and a good chiropractor (for sinuses? i know, sounds crazy, but you'd be surprised). can't hurt to try. good luck!
http://www.milksucks.com/mucus.asp
http://www.sinussurvival.com/faq/faqDiet.html
147. Anonymous said:
I see how you are. Just when you've convinced me to take up bourbon, you go ahead and give up, err... well, everything. So sneaky!
148. jvashus said:
I've been "leaning into it" as Kathy says. I did the cleanse for 7 straight days and felt a huge difference. The biggest difference was the lack of cravings I had! Now I'm going without sugar, gluten, alcohol, caffine and dairy during the week. On the weekends I let myself slip a little. It's been working wonders! Good luck and I'm anxious to hear your updates!
149. Juice Box Hero said:
"especially since the recent chaos is only going to get more chaotic"
I think that's the second time you've referenced the notion that things will soon be getting crazier over at the Blurbodoocery (sp?). I'll stay tuned to see what happens.
Good luck with the cleanse!
150. Kate D. said:
I was surprised how easy kicking caffine was when I recently discovered that I had reason to, at the very least, cut down on the caffine intake. I had a slight headache the first day, but after that I've been fine. I do admit I have a big iced decaf every morning however.
Quiting smoking, for the same recently discovered reason, on the other hand, sucks-donkey-turds.
But doing both has made me very interested in the 21 day cleanse so I'll be following with interest.
151. ashleyd said:
you can send me your "meat is murder. tasty, tasty murder" shirt then!! haha!
at the young age of 25 i have have to get a colonoscopy... i've heard a lot of people eating "clean" after the procedure. i think i'm going to see how that goes. i don't know how i'm going to get around eating the dead animals i love so much though.
152. Twenty Four At Heart said:
Beautiful pic ... you should frame that one. When you're stressed out you can look at it and think Florida. Wow, I hope I come back from my vacation that refreshed and goal oriented!
153. valentine214 said:
Heather,
I always enjoy reading your blog but thank you for this post - I feel like you have summed up my life at the moment.
My husband and I are searching for humanely raised meat (because I love me some meat) and we've found a dairy farm who raises their cows only on grass paddocks, and when the time comes for the cows to "meet their maker" she sings to the cows, thanks them for their service, tells them how honorable they have been and will be, how they will nourish people and continue their service, etc. Yeah it's a little wacky and unconventional but it sure beats the way Mickey-D-land does it. Now I just need to find chickens, etc.
I am looking forward to reading Quantum Wellness, energy stuff is amazing to me. I'd heard of another book called "The Secret Life of Plants" which is supposed to be pretty awesome too.
Be well.
154. Susheela said:
If along the way you ever need more motivation to stick with vegetarianism I recommend reading 'Eat to Live' by Dr. Joel Fuhrman! Will definitely keep you feeling good about your decision and on track.
Good luck with the cleanse and all of that change :)
155. DesignGirl said:
Glad you enjoyed Florida. Next to maybe, oh, I don't know ... the BAHAMAS? I can't think of any other place I'd rather live. I forget how lucky I am to have Florida right outside my front door (and INSIDE too, I guess)!
Not that I'm trying to rub it in, but as soon as hubbie gets home from work (5pm) our "daily cleanse" will be to drop our 25' boat in the water, about 3 miles from home, and take a nice little evening cruise on Tampa Bay. Ah, the sparking (hopefully UNcontaminated) water, the setting sun, and a bottle of wine/beer ... doesn't get much better.
156. bluescityref said:
Everyday can't be Florida without a big huge steak to throw on the grill. Can't believe you'd give up meat and denounce your southern upbringing like that. j/k!
157. Smilf said:
I am interested to see how your journey goes with the cleansing diet. I read about this and I'm not sure I could give up my cocktail when I need it after a shitty day. I look forward to reading about this!
158. the mighty jimbo said:
woooooooot! good on you girl. i'll send you some recipes.
now about this make "every day like florida" thing.
i'm a bit confused because every time i go to florida i think of pteradactyl-sized mosquitoes, tap-water direct from a fetid rotting swamp, olive garden restaurants as far as the eye can see.
i really gotta check out YOUR florida because it sounds way better than mine.
159. Kristine said:
Wow, thanks for this awesomely inspirational post.
The past five months have been absolute hell for me. The stress of a bad job gone worse, losing my grandfather a week after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, my cousin's wife having a severe stroke at 36 (oh yea she was in great health) and then my dad getting laid off at 63, having a really difficult time finding another one - those are just some of the "major" things that have turned me into a roly poly of an emotional eater.
I work out 4 days a week and play tennis 2x a week but the minute I have downtime, my mind plays these horrible games with me and next thing I know I've eaten the entire pantry.
Seriously, I am not happy with myself and am thinking about this detox/cleanse thing. I will use your experiences as both motivation and an intervention between me and the next bag of chips or another cocktail.
Looking forward to embarking on this journey with you. Hang tough - you have an incredible network of support surrounding you.
PS - Leta is a trip. I used to be a nanny for twin girls and the things these kids would say or come up with, I would laugh for hours. I still throw out some of the "sayings" they came up with. Kids are the greatest gifts!
160. hihorosie said:
Sorry about the poo...that's a bummer. I'm hesitant to get a dog because of all the work. Poop and barking in particular.
And good for you on your 21-day cleanse! You're ahead of me on that and I eat a high percentage of raw (living) foods. You'll probably find as you move forward that the need for meat decreases. Anyway, I'm not here to preach but wishing all the best. I'll be interested in your progress.
161. AD_22 said:
After Jims post on Friday and your post today; I've also decided to make a change. I will no longer read this post during lunch break. The diarrhea, vomit and potty talk makes it difficult to enjoy a soup and sandwich.
I still love you dooce.
162. m said:
Good luck with that diet. I hope your careful about it though because severe changes in diet, when you are medicines, can be tricky. Also, I can't help but think that Oprah has had a "life changing" diet or whatnot about every 21 days and it always amazes me the number women that are willing to follow her.
163. Tracye said:
I haven't even read the blog yet, I just wanted to say that the picture of the water is fantabulous! And I really need a vacation but this might have to do, sigh. This is all. Off to read the blog now.
164. Karina said:
THE CHICKENS!!!!!!
SAVE THE CHICKENS!!!!
lol
Good luck on the cleanse Heather. Remember, baby steps, eh?
165. Maria said:
I've always found the idea of a "cleanse" somewhat silly, especially when it involves liquid diets or colonics (not saying Oprah's cleanse does), because a normal healthy body "cleanses" itself. I second what someone said above about Michael Pollen's sage advice:
"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."
Plus, red wine is good for you!
166. Janice said:
Good luck with your diet. I think I would lock out one thing at a time. I did gluten and dairy (diagnosed Celiac in 11/06) within a week. WHOOOAAAA! Anyway, there is a great store on the west side Against the Grain. You might find that helpful.
167. Hannah said:
I can't wait for the post with the cleanse update!
168. blakspring said:
i'm really excited that you're doing the cleanse because i'm too big of a chicken (and have too small a bladder) to do it myself. i tried atkins once but after eight hours i was getting dizzy from lack of carbs. finally i ate some chocolate and never looked back.
169. Inventing Matilda said:
I like the idea of clearing out your mind and becoming more organized around the house and as a person. I always feel better after I renew myself through combing through my house and looking for things that need to go. The same could be said for the mind.
-Inventing Matilda
170. Karla Kim said:
I, too, plan on trying the cleanse. I have to wait a couple of weeks, though, because I have quite a few drinking engagements coming up! I feel for you on the poopy mess too. BTDT!
171. Dawn said:
Good luck with the cleanse :). I recently stopped eating meat and cut waaay down on processed foods and refined sugar and carbs and have never felt better! (Never been much of an alcohol or caffeine drinker, so no problem there..)
172. Stephanie said:
I'm not going to jump on the "yay cleanse" bandwagon because I know from experience that it's never about the food. I guess just think I'd whether you are trying to avoid something else that's going on in your emotional life by focusing on food. When you're struggling with anxiety and feeling out of control, sometimes it's tempting focus on the things that seem easy to control to avoid the emotions that seem so unworkable. Destin was a geographical cure to all those anxieties but going vegan isn't going to make them go away.
Your body needs things for a reason and I just worry that you're setting up your metabolism for a fall. I guess I'd just contemplate whether your OCD has started to gaze at your dinner plate.
That being said, ugh diarrhea! So sorry! Maybe it was all the shit eating?
173. Taylee said:
I can not wait to see how this cleanse goes for you. 21 days is a long time. Not saying you can't do it, but I tried the Master Cleanse and by day 5 I put my fiancée in a choke hold until he agreed to take me to California Pizza Kitchen and feed me!
174. Diz said:
I, too, am thinking more and more about changing (I find that the closer I get to thirty, the more it's happening). After reading Skinny Bitch this weekend, I'm thinking it's time to give up the meat. What's another big change, after paying off credit cards, decluttering my bedroom, and getting promoted? This year is only half over, so I may as well really get crazy.
Good luck with the cleanse. Looking forward to hearing your progress.
175. Sugar said:
Oh My GOD! The dog poop! I can't imagine a worse way to return to reality. But how cool that you attacked the problem without losing it completely. I don't know that I would have.
As for the cleanse, you had me until it said no caffeine... I don't know... I want to be healthier, but why do they always make you say no to the caffeine? Could it be an 85% cleanse?
177. jen said:
I did a similar cleanse a few weeks ago and discovered a few food sensitivities. I'm doing a lot better now. And, in all honesty, it was really good to see someone who appears to have it all write that last paragraph. I'm not alone in feeling that way.
178. H said:
I am very curious about the cleanse! Going to start reading it myself!!! The one thing that will be hard is my damn coffee!!!
Glad Florida was fun!!
179. Amy said:
I've been a vegetarian - or pescatarian, rather - for 6 years. I did it for health reasons, but now I do it for pretty much every reason there is to be veg. And, not that you need to worry about this Miss Long and Lean, but you'll never be fat if you're a vegetarian. How can you? You become conscious of everything you put in your mouth... even when you goof now and then and hoover that pint of Ben & Jerry's.
180. kate said:
that photo is so beautiful..it startled me when i opened the page.
181. Cat said:
I've been SOOOO tempted to try a cleanse for a long time, now. But I just can't quite commit to it. I will be very interested to hear how yours goes! Good luck!
182. VinnyGirl said:
http://www.glutenfreedelights.blogspot.com/
It's my friend's blog. She has celiacs disease.
P.S. Oprah isn't all that.
183. Breki said:
Semi-longterm reader, first-time poster. Sorry to hear about Coco, it's always bad to wake up to a sick dog. My Siberian Husky, Shuuji, had a urinary tract infection just over two months ago, and hearing him howl when trying to pee probably makes the top 5 "Largest Feelings of Sympathy"-situations in my life.
In other news, good luck on the cleanse! I've been wanting to do something similar for a long time now, but seeing how I'm underweight, the sudden lack of calories would send my body into systematic shock.
184. Leslie said:
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you are going to try going Veg! I have been on and off for years, and whenever I stray, I read a book or watch a video of how the animals are treated and I'm right back where I started! If you need some (rather slow but EXCELLENT and information filled) reading, pick this up:
http://www.michaelpollan.com/omnivore.php
at the bookstore... Very eye opening. Good luck! It is definitely harder for some people than others...
185. mackley q greene said:
"I'd like to handle my anxiety better."
You may actually be on to something by trying a quasi-elimination diet. I had major anxiety problems about 6 years ago which led to an elimination diet phase (you get rid of all common allergens, then add them back in one by one to see if anything bothers you) and wound up cutting out casein and gluten entirely. Got tested for celiac, which I am not, but those proteins do bother me. (A handy way to tell is if your heart rate increases by more than 5 beats per minute after you eat a certain food -- your immune system may be reacting to it.)
Unfortunately, I don't have the link handy any more, but I did find research that indicated these proteins can even cross the blood-brain barrier and might make anxiety worse, beyond the immune-system involvement.
Whatever their true effect, because I was eating whole wheat and dairy 2 or 3 times a day, I had to endure a racing heartbeat for hours afterward. I had to make sure to eat dinner at least 3 hours before bedtime or I had major insomnia. Food sensitivities (secondary allergies) can be really hard on you; the constant inflammatory response is hell. I also got sick more often -- got bronchitis like clockwork every winter for years.
I still dream of eating cheese (no lie!) but would never go back to it. It's not the perfect answer, of course (I take naturopath-prescribed herbals for anxiety and depression also), but I am much happier and less anxious no matter what happens.
186. Melissa said:
1. I grew up in Florida but have been living in NYC for the past 7 years. I was home for 8 days the week before you went and spent my time on the Gulf of Mexico, as well (which is also where I will be having my wedding on Nov. 8th), and for the first time since I left home, I dreaded coming back to Manhattan. I forgot how peaceful my cells feel when I can walk barefoot pretty much anywhere without worrying about contracting hepatitis or stepping on a used condom.
2. Good luck on the cleanse. I tried one a couple of months ago and made it about 12 hours. Pathetic.
3. I applaud the fact that you are even considering giving up meat. I became a vegetarian at 14 years old for the exact same reason you mentioned and have now been meat free for 16 years. I hope you like it as much as I do.
187. The Single Girl said:
Caffeine is easy to give up, just wait until around day eight when you would sacrifice your dog for few potato chips or some grilled cheese sandwich.
A great treat, thinly sliced potatoes with some olive oil, salt and pepper roasted in the oven for about ten minutes. Served with tahini on the side for dipping. Mmm mmm good.
Good Luck! It is tough some days but you have never felt better. And there is nothing quite like a retox after a good detox.
188. Tiffany said:
I picked up a copy of Quantum Wellness last week. I decided to coincide the start of it with our vaca in Lake Tahoe. We arrived Sunday night, so I'm on day 2. Glad to hear you're doing better with the caffeine part. I'm a Diet Coke addict and even though yesterday was fine, today - oooooh, boy, I really want to drink away the pain. Totally defeating the whole purpose. So I'm all hopped up on mega-Advil and praying that the beautiful setting will help negate my current misery. Jury's still out on that one.
I'm also trying to get a handle on my life. I just feel like I could be doing it better. I'm also reading Marilu Henner's newest book "Wear Your Life Well." I'm just into the second chapter, but it is jam-packed with really good stuff. I'm finding it more useful than Quantum Wellness.
Good luck with this. I'll be checking in to see how your experience is comparing with my own.
189. J9 said:
My fiance and I tried the cleanse about two months ago. We made it 8 days. The siren song of pizza and wine was too beautiful to ignore. It did break my caffine addiction so at least there's that.
190. Gabrielle said:
I think this post may have been the blow to the head that I was waiting for to start making some much-needed changes to my life (I mean that in the most complimentary way possible). So much of what you wrote really resonated with me - especially about being more present and handling anxiety better. In the past month and a half, three members of my family have passed away and my husband and I moved into our first house. My father-in-law is having major (potentially life-threatening) surgery this week, which is causing untold stress for my husband (and me). Work is overwhelming and I'm having unpleasant health issues of my own (think Charlotte in the Sex & the City movie). For some reason this post (and the amazing picture that accompanies it) made me feel a little calmer today, just when I really needed it. Thank you for being my moment of Zen.
191. Lisa's Chaos said:
I'm so glad you open comments occasionally so I can chatter back at you, otherwise I would remain a silent reader.
Happy you had a wonderful vacation and since we recently got back from our own holiday I know exactly what you mean about walking around the piles of laundry. We spent some time in the Rockies so had the joys of altitude sickness, who knew Wisconsin was so low below sea level.
I'm continually amazed at watching Leta develop and feel like she's a distant niece I get to watch grow from afar.
Looking forward to your cleanse review although not sure I'll ever have the guts to give one a go.
192. Kristi said:
Best of luck with that cleanse, Heather! I've found Spring/early Summer can be a great time for that kind of thing, but I've never tried it while parenting. I'm timid that way, I suppose. I did quit coffee in March, though, and had some awful psychological side-effects, so if you find yourself suddenly thinking you must be losing your mind, consider the possibility that it's actually part of the detox process, and try to give yourself extra breathing room and trust that you will get through it, because you totally will.
This is a great time of year to go vegetarian, too -- so many fresh veggies available! I'm lovin' it!
193. Lisa's Chaos said:
Oh and pizza, cheese pizza, meat pizza, bring on the pizza, I feel strong today.
194. Sarah said:
if you're gonna go veg, morning star chickn and steak strips are the best. they have a more meaty texture and taste than most products. and they fry in about 2 minutes.
195. Jacki said:
I too have been thinking about the quantum wellness but really too chicken because I don't have anyone to do it with me, gosh how lame does that sound!
Good to see you back!
196. skapeseven said:
My New Year's Resolution was to "get organized" in every aspect of my life - and I mean EVERY. From the laundry and cooking to the financial stuff to my health to making regular one on one time for my daughter. I'm sick of not being able to find stuff too and that includes time for myself and that hot black top I could swear I washed last week. So far this year I've organized a cutlery drawer and sorted out my insurance. I think I need to get cracking and this just may be the inspiration I need. Thankyou.
197. Lisa said:
Yea! for giving up meat. I gave it up for lent once (and I am not even Catholic) and I never missed it. I just eat better things.
198. fe-lady said:
Shit I would eat like Oprah too if I had a gardener growing my potatoes, tomatoes and salad greens and a chef to fix it all.
I am currently eating tomatoes off of my own plants tho while everyone else is scared to even buy them...and I live in the desert (it's 108 here today)-do THAT Oprah! (Or Oprah's gardener!)
Good luck with the diet...I have NO desire to cut out caffeine or alcohol from my table but I am currently training 10-20 hours a week for triathlons, so I guess I am allowed to "fall off the wagon" a couple times a week! Hehheh.
199. Sony Alpha said:
Good luck Heather! You can do it.
And so you can laugh, I too have adopted a puppy.
200. sarah shevett said:
Good luck on your 21 day change of life/style.
However, as a rancher and a farmer, if you give up meat because you have seen or read something about some ranching practices, then maybe you also shouldn't have a dog because some dogs live in horrible living situations. Or eat cheese or milk because you have seen propaganda about dairy farms. How about the yeasts that are killed in the baking of bread?
How about the massive monoculture farms of soybeans or corn that are destroying the environment?
Yes, there are bad ranchers and bad feedlots. But there are far far more consciencious and caring cattleman that know that the only way to succeed is to have happy and healthy animals and to produce a quality product, and care for the land. They care for and are concerned about the safety and health of their animals. I think that these ranchers are the rule, not the exception, as the media has tried to portray.
I agree that we eat way too much meat in this country, but to give up an entire food, a food that is completely natural for humans, because you have seen or heard or been told that there are bad bad farmers is a bit naive on your part. I would hope that you might do a bit more research. There must be cattle ranches not far from where you live and you will see for yourself that most cattle ( and lambs and goats, not so sure about chickens btw, but there are places that do care about them and raise them humanely) live happy healthy natural lives.
Remember, everything dies. There is no life without death.
And there is also the simple choice of just buying natural or humanely raised meat, if the way that they were raised is your main concern.
It seems you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
201. Ellen said:
I just want to check in. Thank you for the guests. Dutch is great! My Florida is coming up in two weeks, but it's on the Queen Mary 2. I can't wait! A cleanse sounds interesting. I'm looking forward to the chronicle. Welcome back home!
202. Stellare said:
I believe you are being a bit hard on yourself, dear. :-)
203. Danielle said:
I gave up sugar voluntarily and gluten at the advice of my psychiatrist. I lost 60 pounds and never felt better. However, I was not able to kick the caffeine.
Good Luck!
204. Danielle said:
And, oh yeah, I almost forgot! Pick up a copy of Gluten-Free for Dummies. Very helpful.
205. Shawn Hansen said:
Heather,
While I wish you luck with the "new" you, please-oh-please promise you will remain loyal to running over e-mail and mocking idiots.
And talking about poo.
PLEASE!
206. Mallory said:
I've been meat/dairy/sugar/caffeine free for 3 weeks now and it's the best decision I have ever made. For me, the first 2 days were physically difficult, no caffeine/sugar made me super sleepy, but after that it became more of a "Mind over Matter" sort of game. It is INSANE how what you eat effects how you feel. So far my favorite side effects are clarity of mind, and the ability to cope with stress. Not to mention food tastes different, (read: better) and you totally feel empowered.
Good luck, it is worth it I promise, you just gotta get past those first few days.
On a random note, I met you & Jon at your book signing at King's English a few weeks ago, and ever since I keep having recurring dreams that I am friends with you and Jon. Is that weird? Definitely. But you're always super nice and inviting me to watch movies. So thanks for that.
207. Jennifer (Et Tu?) said:
Best of luck making every day "Florida"! I'm working on making every day "anywhere other than the inhospitable-to-human-life, 100-degrees-with-90%-humidity, scorpion-infested great state of Texas"
I was about to add a note telling you know that I LINKED TO YOU!!! (by giving you credit for ripping off your wit since I have none of my own), and then I came to my senses and remembered that I'm reading Dooce, and that that would be like contacting the publisher of the New York Times that you read his paper.
Have a nice week. :)
208. Krissa said:
Funny that you mentioned the neti pot. I just posted about it yesterday because of my daughter's sinus infection. How weird is that?
Hope your husband is better soon. Those headaches suck sooo bad.
209. Gillian said:
I did the cleanse, lasted two weeks. Could have gone longer but my partner (sister) kept cheating and it was hard to stay motivated. The best part of the cleanse was thinking up new recipes.
Rice crackers and rice noodles saved us. Make sure you read the ingredients on EVERYTHING (including soy products) because there's wheat gluten in so many things. Also sugar in stuff like stewed tomatoes. Totally annoying.
Good luck! Day three is the hardest.
210. Anonymous said:
I hope Coco gets well soon.
211. thatgirlkelly said:
Good luck with the cleanse I hope you find what you are looking for in this experiment. I'm only concerned that you are choosing to self impose great restriction when your life sounds to be already quite challenging. Perhaps a more gentle approach to start?
Americans tend to buy into this No Pain No Gain idea. Maybe No Pain No Resistance is more like it. What if we eased our way into change rather than bulldozed over it?
You are a hell of a woman and either way you will be fine. As I said before, good luck with your road ahead.
212. Single mom in New England said:
Why is the recent chaos only going to get more chaotic? Did I miss something?
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us!! Your writing is hysterical and refreshing. Just please remember and know that you're not alone dealing with crazy schedules, demanding relationships (of children and fathers) and pooping dogs!!!
Life is truly a roller coaster - I'm so glad you got to relish the soul-calming effect of warm sand and an ocean breeze for at least a little while!! Take care!
213. Kerry said:
Long time reader delurking to say: yay for giving up meat! Or at least cutting down meat consumption. Because you do realize bacon is made of meat, right?
Anyway, good luck with your cleanse. I don't think I could make it 21 days without chocolate, but I've long ago realized that you are a much stronger women than I.
214. Julie Coleman said:
This is my first comment here (I think - LOL). I have to preface my relevant comment with an emphatic, "OMGILURVEURBLOGSOMUCH!!!"
I didn't read all these comments, but I did a quick search of the page and saw that at least one person mentioned Eckhart Tolle. Seriously. Helpful! If you're ready for a change, that's a damn good place to start. :)
(Also - I have a Yahoo! group if you're ever interested in pursuing and discussing. Anyone else, too. There's a link on my website.)
Good luck with all!
Julie
215. Ann said:
Well, it's just crappy that you came home to wake up to a bunch of crap. Maybe it was the sign that confirmed you needed this newfound direction and cleanse. Bravo on that.
I haven't eaten meat (I eat fish) in 15 years and really don't miss it at all. It's worth the sacrifice if it leeches even a bit of profit from any slaughterhouse.
My dogs are the purest creatures I know - I respect them far more than any mere humans. Especially when Wylie got rid of his shit breath. YES, it DOES pass.
216. Mom Quixote said:
I thought of doing the 21-day thing, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my husband will give me hell about it, having seen in on Oprah, God forbid. Bah, then again, the man hates Florida. What does he know?
217. Melissa said:
Good luck with the cleanse! I gave up gluten about a month ago and I'm having really good results. I hope the same for you!!
218. Nicole said:
Amen, I say, amen.
You will love how you feel off of all that stuff.
It's funny how the world shifts in shifts, isn't it?
Today you made me feel like I really am riding an invisible wave of change that will now be expressed as "everday is Florida." (Too bad it's taken me the last nine years since I went to Pensacola and wished it for myself, but hey, it's not how fast we get there, but that we do at all, right?)
hugs from the lurker girl who only comes out ?? well, I guess when I get the soul chord struck. =)
219. Dave Tong said:
I saw your tweet on your headache - PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR ASAP. That's a classic symptom of a brain hemorrhage.
I hope that you or someone who can reach you is moderating these comments.
221. Nicole said:
It is just amazing to have you all home, in any shape. Although the guests were amazing writers, it felt like a looooooong week of holding one's breath. Waiting. For. Them. To. Come. Home.
I always knew you had a gripping voice, but, wow. What a relief.
222. laura said:
i've thought about doing that clense myself -- i'm allergic to wheat so i've been gluten-free for about three years now (totally saved my life, no lie). going off gluten for me was like a crack addict going through withdrawl at home, alone, for three weeks. shakes and everything. my husband begged me eat a fucking big mac already.
anyway. don't know where i'm going with that but! but! what's your new cleanse like? i can't do very many cleanses because i'm now also allergic to soy, mellons, squashes, rosehips and bananas. (dude. rosehips. isn't that random?) so i most definitely can't do that prepackaged crap anymore.
oh -- and jon. my husband has a GROWTH in his nasal cavity so big it's actually pushing his nose to one side of his face. he was sent to a ear nose and throat specialist (i know they have a fancy pants name for that, but i don't care) and he was all "yeah, that growth is really common if you have chronic sinus infections". so, in other words. find out what it is before he has a growth that pushes his nose to one side of his face because once that shit happens, that's all you see.
223. Lisa said:
I would like to recommend L-Theanine for Anxiety. I've been taking it for a month and I feel so much better. It really takes me down a few notches. It's a natural supplement derived from Green tea.
224. Jacquie said:
Wow, good for you. I would surely benefit from a cleanse like the one you mention, but I'm not desperate enough to give up my caffeine. And booze. And meat. Can you eat fish? I might survive it if I could still eat sushi. Maybe I'll buy the book, and put it under my pillow to suck the toxins out right through my head. I'll be curious to read how it is going for you, good luck!
Your thought processes remind me of the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, who I had the pleasure of listening to recently. His writings about mindful living have been very helpful to me.
225. The Domestic Goddess said:
Kripes, what the HECK do you do for protein? Beans? Tofu? I dunno. I am a former vegetarian who just can't go back. Yet.
But it sounds like a good cleanse. Hope you can stick to it, 21 days ain't easy.
226. Sarah D. said:
WOW. I've been reading your blog for almost exactly four years. First time I've ever posted. What a coincidence that you wrote this on the same day that I was deciding that I needed extremely similar changes -- mostly with my perspective and attitude about life.
I was sitting outside eating a delicious hot bowl of tomato soup (yeah, I know, I'm weird it was 95 degrees) and felt this lovely AMAZANT breeze and thought, I want to feel like every day I'm at the ocean (although I live smack down in the middle of the midwest constantly on the go doing random meaningless human stuff)... I want to feel like my life means something, damnit! And that's what I've set out to do... to make it mean something. Even if I make it's all make-believe.
I thought of many things I want to do during this thought-orgasm. This one being one of my favorites: anonymous fortune cookie comments (minus the cookie). I want to write really nice things on little sheets of paper, put them in an envelope with "For you, whoever you are" inscribed on the front, and put them in places all over my little town in hope that someone can't NOT open it. I hope to at least make someone chipper up a bit. (Yes, we can all be way too grouchy and take life way too seriously.)
Let's all go do some nice crap! For ourselves/for others
227. Anonymous said:
maybe i should read that book.
i've been overwhelmed since i had my daughter 2.5 years ago. sure, things are easier now than when she was younger, but i still feel like i can't get anything done, everything's always a mess, and i wonder where the hell the day went. when do i get to feel like me again? i think i'm gone, am now a new person, i just can't figure out exactly who that is.
i'd cry, but i just don't have the energy.
228. Shelly said:
That is one of the best photos you've ever posted. Makes me want to go to Florida too.
229. Anonymous said:
If you figure out how to handle your anxiety better could you teach my Dad? Because he's driving me nuts.
Oh and the messy house? Just call me to house sit. I told a woman yesterday after she declared her house a disaster area that she was welcome to come visit me. I'm tired of having some 10 year old brat come over to my house and announce to parents, "Dad it is so messy up here!" "Doesn't your mother do anything?" What kind of person lives like that? Oh the ones without fun blogs to read, life experiences worth reading about, and children without personality.
As for dieting? I gave up. I've been 165 lbs since I was 16. I could hike 21 miles (3 miles straight up 11,000 ft mtn) that fat, I had 3 children without getting fatter, I've eaten chocolate everyday without getting fatter and I've eaten oatmeal everyday without losing a pound (that last one makes your poo yellow like baby crap). My body says, "forget it, you're 165 period." The interesting thing is that at 16 I was a size 16, now I'm a size 12. I think the department stores are playing to women's vanity.
230. Lori said:
Hi Heather,
I have done a 21 day cleanse before. I am a naturopathic physician and I usually recommend it for 7-21 days every spring. I do not eliminate fish or chicken, though, as I feel protein is essential for well being. It is very difficult to get adequate protein on a vegan diet (as well as adequate B 12 or B 6, both necessary for numerous biochemical functions and managing stress). Also, I recommend staying away from soy products, since that is one of the most common food allergens. That would be virtually impossible on the vegan cleanse. (For more about soy check out the Weston Price foundation website)
I also would drink three protein smoothies a day in addition to meals. Rice protein powder is best. Add some coconut oil or almond butter in the smoothie along with a banana and some almond milk. it will taste like a yummy treat and satisfy any sweet cravings.
All the best! You are inspiring me to do a cleanse right now, as I haven't done it in a few years.
PS. Amy's organics has a frozen pizza thats gluten and dairy free. yum.
231. Christina said:
Aw man!
I wish you'd given some warning about the cleanse!
As you look to keeping track of it on the blog as a motivational tool, I would have looked to your writing about it as a tool to stay on track myself. I'd love to try it!
232. Brid said:
Good luck. I don't care if you stick to the cleanse, or if veganism ends up being the right choice for you; I just want you to make your own Florida every day.
233. Janet said:
Florida. Yeah.
234. Jady said:
...but you can still smoke a bowl, right?
I mean...ahem...kick ass, babe. Just don't do the lemonade diet. It's a bit nuts.
QUESTION: I've been wondering this, and it's a bit personal, so fell free to tell me to suck a nail, but how detox did you go during pregnancy? And how did you ease off the meds without having your body/brain see-saw? I'm a few years away from trying for a baby, but I'm already terrified of all the changes...or, rather, terrified that I'll make my husband/family/self miserable for 9+ months...
235. emily said:
dooce, your writing never fails to inspire me. you've probably heard of these, but just in case you haven't, here are some resources that i've found useful for, well, life:
www.thehappinessproject.com
www.zenhabits.net
www.unclutter.com (i too am looking to become more organized)
also, at the risk of sounding even more new-age-y, i really recommend thich nhat hanh's the miracle of mindfulness, particularly for the breathing and meditation exercises in the first half. good luck, i hope the permanent mental vacation works out!
237. Debra said:
In case there was even a second of self-doubt, it needs to be said:
You are one super awesome human being!
You've given me a much needed boot of inspiration today. Thank you!
238. Jillian said:
Hi Heather...
Wanted to suggest finding a chiropractor for Jon for (what sounds like) his recurring sinus infections.
Good luck with the cleanse! I'm interested in hearing how it goes.
239. Christina said:
Good luck on your cleanse. I am doing something similiar but long term (the first 21 days are harsh though, after that you can slowly add back in one thing each week...first thing back for me will be caffeine!).
Glad you had a great vacation, welcome back!
240. Enna said:
Holy cats! I am doing something similar to this diet myself. Let me tell you, after week 1 you start to feel GOOD and have more energy.
Unless you go all feral on a little Debbie like I did. One day 2 (or some really inappropriately-early-in-the-diet day).
Good luck!
241. Jen said:
Oh hells yeah! The only thing I can't ever agree with you on is bacon. Thanks for solving that problem, you now get to be my hero times five.
If you're looking for some yummy (read: awesome) vegan food in SLC, check out Sage's Cafe, Estes Pizza, the Vertical Diner, Bangkok Thai, and Cafe Shambala.
Or I can just come by and cook for you, ha ha.
And for those of you with protein questions? Vegans (and veggies, I suppose) get ours from food, the same way you do.
242. Sonja said:
I have not read all of the other comments, so someone else might have addressed this already.
I read "The Ethics of What We Eat" a while back, thinking that I would become a vegetarian. I've been vegetarian before, and that didn't seem too hard. Well, I came away from that book thinking that it was actually MORE humane to eat meat than to eat eggs and dairy. (Obviously, being vegan was the most humane.) Why was eating eggs and diary worse? Well, all of those animals were ultimately killed inhumanely, too, just as the meat animals, once they stopped producing milk or eggs at a high enough rate. Plus, they were kept alive longer, in horrible conditions. The animals bred for meat had shorter lives, which seemed kinder.
It's a struggle. I have been on a path towards veganism for a while now. Currently, I am also doing a cleanse, which - more or less - involves adopting a "raw vegan" diet (i.e. eating only fruits, vegetables, seeds and nuts). My cleanse has been difficult for me. I look forward to reading about how you are doing on yours.
243. Kristy - Where's My Damn Answer said:
The author of that book is a Ladies Who Launch member and is speaking at a meeting that I'm going to tomorrow night. I was also intrigued. I look forward to hearing your experience. I'm not sure if I have it in me to tackle that right now - haha
244. Will said:
Good luck.
245. Felicia said:
Your life change sounds awesome. I'm still waiting for the day when my revelation comes.
246. Creature of Habit said:
Wow - Florida really did you some good. You are so full of energy and life....I really want to do a cleanse too, as I eat nothing but crap. So, I will look forward to your posts about it. Good Luck!
247. alikatze said:
Egads, Heather, sorry you feel the need to do a radical diet in order to get "order" in your life....Give yourself permission to bail, tho, should it not be giving you the whatever-it-is you're looking for. :(
248. Michelle said:
Hey girl,
That Neti pot is evil--I got one after seeing Oprah, used it for a sinus infection and it just added to the problem until I thought I'd shove an ice pick in my head. I saw an acupuncturist and was better in no time. Find a good one in your area and send Jon in--he'll be draining before he even leaves the joint.
249. Andria and Co. said:
Dang. Can we call you the new and improved Mother Teresa?! I want to do a detox plan... but, just don't have the will control. At this point, anyway.
250. mac daniels said:
Every day CAN be Floria...just hand out airbrushed tanktops at the Mormon Tabernacle and put salt on your upper lip.
251. Carolyn said:
Now that I've read this post, I know why you have the raging headache described on Twitter. It's the "cleanse". You probably know that by now.
Feel better!
252. Meg said:
Ever hear of the Landmark Forum? There is a lot said about it, but under it all is something really unique and, I think, great. If you were open to it, I think it could really help you with everything in your last paragraph. I found it to be quite life altering in a very positive, unexpected way.
253. Aimee said:
Heather, I completely concur with Poster #1. I feel the exact same way. In an effort to achieve those things, I've hired a professional organizer to help me out. While I hate to -pay- someone to help me get rid of my stuff, having someone to keep the momentum going, breaking it down bit by bit has been a huge help. We'll soon be able to park the car in the garage! If you're up to it, I do recommend it. And, as Poster #1 said, I may reference this post in my own blog, just as a "jumping off point" for talking about hiring the organizer.
Good luck on the cleanse! I'm interested to see what happens.
254. shauna said:
Congratulations and good luck. A few years ago, I was a skeptic of certain foods making me feel unwell. And then I had to cut out gluten, because I was diagnosed with celiac disease, and after only a few weeks I realized I had never felt well, or balanced, my entire life.
And then my entire life bloomed open. My anxiety disappeared. My headaches left the building. I wasn't tired all day long. If your body needs to avoid it, and you listen, it can change everything.
If you need any help on how to avoid the gluten, let me know.
255. Nadiya said:
I have tried this and it absolutely the BEST thing in the world. It feels amazing, your body feels amazing and your mind is free to focus on the good things in life. Except that is it SO hard to stick to for a long time that after 8 months I had to stop and go back to occasional chocolates at teatime and ice cream in the burning Utah heat. But good luck to you Heather! It is a great great diet and plan.
256. Kate said:
As someone familiar with both f'ed up brain chemistry and extreme diet changes, please be careful. I'm not trying to give you assvice, just passing on what I wish someone had told me.
My brain made it perfectly clear that I could change my diet quickly or I could stay sane. Just one. Not both. My brain is bossy like you wouldn't believe. I found I had to withdraw from food just like I do when I change meds. Very slowly.
Hopefully, you and Oprah will soon be spiritual twins. Best of luck!
257. Sheryl said:
to quote a t-shirt I saw recently, "meat is murder... tasty, tasty murder."
I'm not a huge read meat fan, it's okay, but I prefer chicken and pork. And no one is taking bacon away from me, they'd have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.
Good luck though, I hope it works for you.
258. Tanzie said:
I am a vegetarian and have struggled with buying leather products as well. I discovered some great faux leather bags from: http://www.mattandnat.com/
I also drink milk and consume dairy products but recently made the switch to organic. I feel better knowing that the cows are treated respectfully and they are not pumped full of hormones that make them lactate on demand!
Wishing you the best in your search for a life with less anxiety. I feel I am on the same quest.
259. Priscilla said:
Snaps for taking care of yourself. you deserve it!
260. Frank Stone said:
Always able to give a little smile to others, best of luck....
262. Manda said:
Yay! Go Heather! I did a cleanse like that a while ago and it was amazing. Congrats on setting some new priorities for your life - they sound like wonderful goals, and if Florida inspired them then hell, I'd better start packing!
263. Lester said:
Heather:
The headache is from the caffeine addiction. I am 55 and have decaffeinated 4 times in my life. I have migraines too. It's not worth it to decaffeinate. Caffeine is a marvelous anti-head-pain drug we can use at will.
As for the rest of the "Oprah" and all life change stuff, been there done that too. Even the great Oprah returns to her true nature. She's fat, she's thin, she's fat. My bet is she ends up in her natural state of being, fat.
Everything in moderation Heather and that includes life change. The fact is at the heart of it we are perfect just as we are, mess and all. The biggest most profound change you can make is to accept that with your whole heart and soul. Leta and John will love you for it.
As my mother used to say as I lay on the floor with what seemed like multiple stab wounds and a closed head injury, "your fine Lester, your fine, go do your homework" she was always right, I was fine.
We think you're terrific.
Lester and Stacy
264. Heather B. said:
I did the 21 day cleanse a few months ago and I was surprised at how easy it was. Of course there were moments when I really wanted some wine but other than that it wasn't too bad and I felt awesome afterwards. It really just trains you to think about what you're buying and eating. I cannot wait to see how it all goes for you.
265. Krista said:
This was probably already pointed out, but just in case...in the last paragraph first sentence you wrote, "I want to be a better wife, a more conscious and present mother, a more loyal friend, and a better listener." I totally took the sentence weirdly, thinking that you wanted a more conscious and present mother, as opposed to you, yourself, wanting to be a more conscious and present mother. I was going to say it was a Freudian slip. And, I definitely don't mean that in a mean or hurtful way. I just know I tend to write that way sometimes. But that's why you have a world famous blog, and I don't. :) I think you are doing great, and knowing these things about yourself are fantastic and I wish you luck.
266. Sarah said:
Even though I'm not huge on cleanses, I am definitely certain that cutting out sugar, caffeine, and alcohol will do you wonders.
I cut out alcohol for 90 days last year (conveniently enough this time period fell over my birthday and every last one of my vacations), but in the end it was definitely worth it. I've also cut out caffeine (except in extreme cases), and while it might kick you in the butt at first, in the end it allows you to have more energy overall.
I really hope this goes well for you! Stay motivated!
267. Susan said:
awesome post! i would be very interested to follow the progress of the diet/cleanse thing. whenever i have put the coffee down for any period of time i have always experienced some knife wielding depression.. either that or said knife wielding motivated by extreme frustration. good luck! i am sure your sense of humor will be handy!
268. Hope said:
Heather ~
Thanks for the wonderful post; I'm inspired and your timing in posting this and my reading it is downright scary. In the period of one year, I lost my very successful and lucrative career (same company of over a decade), my car, my house, and finally my fiance, the man I *thought* was my true soulmate.
I woke up today at 4:00 p.m., another day in over a week of not getting out of bed before that hour. I'm disgusted by and tired of the diet of Chardonnay and Xanax I've been using to "deal with" my depression and anxiety, and just before reading your post I told myself "This has to stop, something has GOT to change." Thanks for inspiring me and helping me off the ledge. Good luck to you in this journey and I look forward to reading about your results. God bless you dear.
269. the mighty jimbo said:
not to get all comment happy with you or to add any additional fuel to your fire, but the book "in defense of food" was one of the best researched, most logical, most compelling diet books i've ever read.
michael pollen is the author.
270. Angel said:
I hope that works out for you. I really do. I'd love to know how you're doing with it. I hope that it helps your anxiety levels. If it helps yours, then I'll definitely give it a try to see how it does with mine.
271. Velma said:
I've been hearing "cleanse, cleanse, cleanse" lately, so I'm looking forward to your take on it. Have a great time in Florida-In-Your-Head!
272. Kim H. said:
Go Heather!!!
273. Anonymous said:
Excellent! It always kind of bothered me that you could write about your dogs and be open about how much you love them and then in the next sentence talk about bacon, bacon, bacon, as if it wasn't from an animal that thinks and feels joy or pain in the same way your dogs do. It seemed like such a disconnect to me, so I was delighted to read this post. I had that a-ha moment 16 years ago and I haven't eaten meat since then and I haven't ever missed it. Good luck to you!
274. MamaCass said:
I think you should follow Oprah's lead and also read "The Secret" to help with the soul cleansing/better person/better life part of your metamorphosis.
275. Meegan said:
I'm rather excited to hear that you are doing the cleanse. I'm dying to know more about it, and to hear someone's take on it besides Oprah. She bugs me. You don't. I'm 7 months pregnant so I won't be doing said cleanse anytime soon. But I know there will be a time I will want to rid the bacon, ice cream and red meat that's collected in my organs during this pregnancy.
276. Anonymous said:
Eh. Crabby old skeptic here. Not surprising that as Oprah's ratings slip, she picks up on some new fad to generate interest. I can see becoming a vegetarian on moral grounds, I can the logic in avoiding additives, but there's no scientific basis for this cleanse business, so why jump on the bandwagon? This week gluten is the enemy, next week something else. I get queasy about extreme regimens--there seems to be an element of self-punishment in them that just doesn't sit well--and I'm highly skeptical about any advice found in a book someone is trying push onto the best seller list. But mostly I'm wondering what caused Coco's problems and whether she's better.
277. Genevieve said:
I just picked up Quantum Wellness and I can't say enough fabulous things about this book...among other things you have to show up for yourself! Will do the cleanse in a month...looking forward to how it goes for you!
278. Mrs. Juicebox said:
I'm currently trying to cut out JUST alcohol, and I want to jump off of a bridge. Will be following the cleanse, many good wishes to you (have been reading since three.5 years ago when my then-almost-husband introduced me to your site), and thank you for saying this. This post may have kept me from drinking today.
279. Lara said:
Of course, we all think that you're wonderful and inspiring just as you are, but wish you lots of luck with "the cleanse", anyway. It definitely sounds intriguing and I'm eager to hear more about it. Keep us posted, 'kay?
280. Deanna said:
I cured a long standing severe sinus problem with grapefruit seed extract nasal spray. This was after several attempts with antibiotics and the threat of sinus surgery. Apparently, many/most sinus infections are fungal in nature, not bacterial. The GSE nasal spray is a natural anti-fungal. It's not a quick fix -- use it a few times a day consistently and within a couple of weeks (or maybe less if his situation isn't as severe as mine was) you should see dramatic improvement. I spent three years with a total absence of smell, which as a hospice nurse came in handy while doing certain tasks, but after a couple of weeks of GSE spray I began to regain this sense.
Once in awhile I will start having some sinus problems again and I start the GSE right away. It usually takes care of the problem within a couple of days. You can buy this at health food stores for around $15 or less.
I have shared this information with several people who have experienced the same positive effect. If Jon tries it and it works for him (be sure to give it plenty of time) I'd appreciate it if you'd let me know, or just post about it in your blog. It's sort of an ongoing amateur research project. Yeah, I'm weird that way.
281. Sarah said:
I'm so happy to hear about your undertakings, especially the cleanse. I honestly don't think it's that big a deal that Oprah did it, because big fucking deal for the rich lady to sit down and have a gourmet vegan meal prepared by her personal chef for 21 days, know what I mean? But I think it's a great thing to do from a health perspective, I give you a ton of credit for taking this on as a "non-Oprah mortal" and hope you blog A LOT about your experience. I think our diet habits are pretty similar (including the desire to get over our meat infatuation for the animals' sake, the nagging hypocrisy over loving animals and then loving to eat them, etc) so I eagerly await your posts regarding this! The picture at the top of your post is beautiful.
282. Natalie said:
My friend swears all her sinus infections were magically gone once she started going to a chiropractor. It's worth a shot! Good luck with that Jon, and with your life changes Heather.
283. maddog said:
Aha! How'ya like the organic free range chicken broth na!
Find a Whole Foods, buy "Vegan with a Vengeance" and go to town. It's sooooo easy to do this now that it's not 1975. You'll love it. And hate how you start to notice how much crap is in everything you used to eat. Don't forget your cosmetics, and clothing. Aye.
Clearly, you'll have a ton of support and be using your powers for good. So yay for you, role model for bravely making daunting changes!
PS Unfortunately, cheese and chocolate have no tofu counterparts.
284. Jolie said:
I just got back from a 4 month study abroad trip in Costa Rica, and while I was there a great friend of mine, Benjamin, was explaining to me the environmental and economic reasons he was currently becoming a vegetarian. Having a sister that's a vegetarian, I sort of had an idea already of the things he went into, but some how all the facts and the compassionate way he put it made me think, "I can't consciously do this anymore."
I do feel sorry for the animals, but more than anything I think it's a huge waste of resources on our part. I knew I probably couldn't do it cold turkey (haaah) and so I started off with just beef and pork. it's been three months. I just cut out chicken and fish 3 weeks ago, and now, all I have left is turkey. as soon as the last bit is eaten out of my fridge, I will be 100% vegetarian. and it feels great.
if you want any ideas, let me know. I'm asking around right now about tasty meatless menu items.
285. Kriss said:
Best wishes on finding your center.
Mine is buried under a lifetime of impatience.
286. June said:
In all seriousness, have you considered giving Coco away? She seems to be more trouble than she's worth.
287. Anonymous said:
As a 4th or 5th generation of cattle ranchers, I can't say I can go there. But I applaud your decision to do so, and I support my family's approach of using free range beef and humane ways to do what you can if you choose to not be vegetarian. Good luck.
288. Shalini said:
I am trying to just give up red meat.. so far just one minor setback... but i feel better.. so we'll see..
Good luck on the cleanse! Coco must have missed y'all so much.
Hope Jon feels better soon too.
289. TxSuzy said:
Well, I wish you luck and hope you make it through the clense and make everyday Florida. I truly mean that, but can I just say one thing? OH LORD... Just what we need! ANOTHER FRIGGEN VEGETARIAN!
Not hatin' or anything, but I just had to roll my eyes the other day when my vegetarian friend [and I love her] came back from the doctor and said "But I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat meat. How can my triglycerides, cholesterol and blood pressure be high? I eat healthy foods!"
Me: "Maybe its all those sauces you make with butter and heavy cream and all the cheese and dressings you add to everything?"
Her: "Hmmm... I never thought about that."
290. Becky said:
Landmark Forum is a brainwashing cult. DON'T DO IT.
Good luck with the cleanse!
291. Lola said:
Umm, good luck with that!!!! Maybe you should start with something a little less crazy and see how you do. I did the Arbonne 7-Day Cleanse with my best friend, and seven days is a LONG time to give up everything good in life. Now, I love Oprah as much as the next gal, but she's a super rich woman who has people cooking for her and doing the grocery shopping and the organization and the dog covered in shit cleaning and everything else in life that's annoying.
I don't sell Arbonne, so don't get the wrong idea, but if you follow what the doctor that suggests that one says, you will feel great at the end and not a total failure if you can't make 21 days. It's basically no sugar, wheat, dairy, soy, meat (except chicken/turkey), no caffiene unless it's green tea, and the dreaded no alcohol. You have to drink this drink with a ton of water, and you shit your brains out, but you do feel much better in the end, and I lost eight pounds and kept it off. Day four was my worst, and I did only do four out of seven days without my red wine, but WTF. Trying to keep up with the shopping at Whole Foods so that you can eat this way is a MAJOR deal and a major expense. I eat very well to begin with, so I thought it would be easy, but it takes serious planning to succeed.
I wish you well. You have no idea how crabby you will be getting in no time!! Your husband, child and the dogs will be throwing food, coffee and booze at you just to survive your mood.
292. Jenny said:
heather, yay! i know you always hated the many variations on the "please become a vegetarian" emails/comments/threats, but on a strictly selfish level, giving up meat and eggs helped my anxiety SO MUCH. like completely off my meds much.
and just to plant the seed, if you decide to get truly carried away at some point in the future, raw vegan helped even more. i'm very aware how insane this makes me sound--my family in texas and alabama have all but disowned me (and i still eat cooked food--i just try to eat mostly raw)--but i actually wake up happy every morning now, instead of swimming in a pool of tears and hysterics. i can't remember my last panic attack, and i literally never knew it was possible to be this calm and excited to start every day.
diet totally works.
293. sleepingKelly said:
I'm interested in seeing how things work out for you too. I know I've been trying to slowly convert to a more natural diet. I wish you the best of luck. I only have one question, how will you live without bacon?
294. cara said:
yay for not eating meat anymore!
i'm not sure if i could do 21 days without alcohol, but if you can make it i'm sure i could, too!
good luck!
295. Addie said:
As my father would always say to me:
You have what it takes, and you can do it.
As I always say to myself:
Working on myself is my least favorite job with the most dramatic results.
Best of luck squaring everything away and becoming who you want to be! I'd still share a bottle of wine with you.
296. cattitude said:
I took the plunge and became a vegetarian a week ago, after not really eating much meat the last couple years. I'm not craving meat at all so far.
Good luck with your cleanse!
297. jukeboxjamie11 said:
maybe Coco has kennel cough?
once my black lab did, it was horrible
298. Terroni said:
The cleanse sounds sort of hideous. But, if in three weeks you've morphed into a wildly successful Black woman, I'll be the next in line to give up coffee and liquor.
299. Jodi said:
Good luck Heather. I'll be cheering you on (and learning from you) every step of the way.
300. Cassandra said:
I saw this on Oprah and really wanted to try it, too. It was weird timing because just the day before I was thinking about wanting to try a cleanse. And I never watch Oprah, but for some reason did that day.
The author was telling Oprah to be kind to herself, though. To not be too hard on herself if she slipped up.
I tried starting with one thing at a time and I gave up red wine for 2 weeks - a hard thing to do in my house - felt quite a bit better and lost 5 pounds.
Then, I kind of forgot about the whole thing so thank you for the reminder.
I think what will kill me is the coffee. Really, do I have to? I think I might have to keep that evil in my life. And besides, my local news (from Vancouver, BC!)
says people who drink some coffee live longer. So there, Oprah...
301. Kara said:
Don't listen to all this nonsense about nothing left to eat, or only eating leaves, or even "organic, free range" meat. By caring for yourself you're caring for the planet and the countless species we share it with. So many birds with one stone! (Birds, not for eating.)
I'm working on this same cleanse. It's doable! And it becomes a lifestyle. I have no will power at all, not even a little. I love cheese pizza more than any human- and this is not a point worth arguing. But I see the zen at the end of the tunnel and I WANT it. (Need it.)
Anyway I believe in you! And myself. I hope.
302. LWagz said:
Don't forget to drink lots of water. I read an article about the effects of dehydration and started drinking half my body weight (in ounces) of water everyday. Within a week, I was off most of my meds and my body feels so great. Good luck with your cleanse, I'll keep tuned in to see how you do and to cheer you on.
303. Megumi said:
I read the last paragraph empathically.
I have 5 year-old son and 6 month-old baby. I struggle to discover something.... Recently, I don’t try to strive for 100%. Don’t compare others.
Getting better the situation, though, I still feel that something is missing in my life.
Speaking of dieting, I gained 38.8 pounds when I was pregnant!! But I could success to lose my weight! I did pelvis remedy. Giving a birth make womens’ womb dilated. And of course I did diet control.
Best of luck!
304. Trish said:
Good luck! I did a cleanse like this (Dr Joshi's version) a year ago and felt FANTASTIC after the craving-headaches cleared. And I did one a few years before that on the advice of a dietician and felt FANTASTIC then, too (and lost a lot of post-baby weight as an added and unintentional bonus). The challenge is staying on it in the long, long term. I'm now back to the way I was and even though I feel like crap most of the time that's apparently not enough inspiration for me to re-de-tox. I'm not sure what it's going to take, other than major illness or something else that I take for granted will never happen to me...
Sorry, rambling. Just wanted to say good luck and I might join you in this quest.
PS the spam preventer is asking me to write Marmon goat. I'm not even kidding.