One of the million, billion grains of sand in the desert
Portraits before and after death.
"This somber series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died is a challenging and poignant study. The work by German photographer Walter Schels and his partner Beate Lakotta, who recorded interviews with the subjects in their final days, reveals much about dying - and living."
These photos are simultaneously haunting and beautiful, and I've been riveted for the last half hour. Having looked at every photo I feel like I need to get up, walk outside and let the sun hit my face for a while. Be sure to read the text accompanying the photos.
(via The Morning News)
EDITED TO ADD:
Just got this email from Mimi in Oakland:
Heather,
Those images nauseated me and I should have never looked at them. While I respect your right to post whatever you want on your website, that you closed comments irritates me.
I'm disappointed in you; I think you're a great big chicken shit for doing that. Why not let people respond? What were you afraid of? You obviously knew you'd get a response so why close the door to them?
I had no idea that link would inspire this kind of response, but there you go. Chicken shit I am not, so what did you think of those photos?
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
901. Kendra said:
These photographs were many things: haunting, disturbing, daunting, scary, peaceful, nauseating, horrifying, poignant, lovely...
They are meant to create strong reactions from everyone. To condemn Mimi for her reaction is going against what these photographs were meant to do. Mimi could've worded her reaction differently. It is usually counterproductive to call people names and put them on the defensive and I love Heather and what she does here with the rest and the best of everyone. Heather closes the comments on a lot of her outside link posts and anyone who comes here often knows that. Talking politely about why she wanted the comments open would probably have had the same effect.
These photographs were supposed to cause severe reactions that made you pause and think. It is okay to have issues with death. It is okay to be scared and horrified of it. To poke fun because someone is trying to deal is at best mean and at worst hypocritical. Who is actually comfortable with dying tomorrow? With disease and accident taking us before we can get the next load of laundry done, feed the dog one more time, remind our kid to brush her teeth?
I'm glad that Heather posted the link. I'm glad Mimi reacted the way she did. I wish she would've been nicer.
902. amy J. said:
Once upon a time people celebrated the dead. They were laid out for days to be looked upon, bathed, ritualized. And taking photos of them was commonplace. I've seen in antique stores many 100 year old photographs (or older) of the dead set up in glorious repose, adorned lavishly and captured for eternity. These photos that Heather posted about are not unusual. What I think it's unusual, and a shame, is our culture's modern uneasiness with the subject of death. Nauseating? Excuse me? Is birth just as nauseating to that person? I would suppose so. We celebrate a child's first breath. Why not hold in as much esteem one's last breath? I found the images beautiful. Many of the "alive" photos were obvious in pain and stress of the carrier, which was absolved at their demise...brow unfurled, facial muscles untensed from pain. It is ALL of our inevitable end. If you view it as obscene then you might as well look up on the life you live until it meets you just as obscene. Only someone like Heather would see the beauty in these photos...and think to share them. Thanks Heather. My husband, a doctor, who sees death firsthand daily, thought they were beautiful. Often times he sees much more catastrophic ends to people's physical self. These were a relief in that the people weren't as marred as they could have been considering.
On a second note to pass along to Heather (though I'll have to get the name from my friend if she is interested in learning about it)...there is a national group of photographers who volunteer to photograph still born or newly deceased infants for families. I learned of it through a photographer online that I'm a fan of, Tara Whitney. The images are truly impactful...both in the emotion and beauty. Would that person who was sickened by these photos of adult dead be more horrified at a family wanting their child being photographed dead? I'm sure that is just an unimaginable thing for that individual...which, again, I can not even remotely relate to.
Again, what is so upsetting about this? That baby won't ever have a photo for it's parents ever, other than that one. A parent wants photos of their baby. As a mother, I'd say in a heartbeat that's I'd want one of my child dead, if I had no other choice. It honors that baby's unfufilled life. To have no image, other than mental, is just too tragic, in my view. The courage of the photographers to offer their services to these families (since many photographers won't allow themselves to be hired for such a thing, unfortunately) is SO admirable. Photography serves such a vital role in our emotional state as people. You truly do see the beauty in the EVERY day/thing through a viewfinder. We see horrific photographs of people being brutally killed every single day. Seeing someone who died "naturally" and in peace and some kind of wholeness (without violence) brings me peace. I think taking the time to capture that part of life (which IT IS) shows your humanity like nothing else.
903. Lisa said:
wow. I kept looking at the dates, on the before and after photos, and calculating how much more time they had. It is amazing what difference a few weeks and in some cases just a few days can make when cancer is wreaking havoc on your body.
I am not entirely sure how I feel about the pictures, but I have the feeling that the look in those people's eyes as they look death in the face will not go away when I close my own eyes to sleep tonight.
904. Lara said:
i think it's only fair to let your readers know what's in the photos (which you did) so that they can decide for themselves whether to click over or not. beyond that, it's kind of out of your hands and mimi (and any others) really ought to realize that.
what did i think? i couldn't look through too many, because it did give me a bit of the creeps. but i think as a fellow artist, i respect what the photographer wanted to do, and i respect you for passing it on to your readers. :)
905. Lana Lankevich said:
I can't bring myself to click on the link. I get queasy looking at photos in the newspaper (taken when people were alive) of people that are dead, eg. "Susan, pictured here with her family, died early this morning in a car crash." Totally freaks me out looking at "Susan", knowing full well she no longer exists. One time the newspaper posted a large size photo of an open coffin and people grieving over it, I freaked out when I opened the paper.
906. Karin said:
I thought the pictures were beautiful and an amazing idea for a series of photos. Death touches us all, but there doesn't seem to ever be enough honesty...those pictures captured that and I thought the subject matter was handled with dignity and in grace. Thanks for sharing Heather
907. Niv said:
It is disturbing. Agreed. But then again , it's the person's choice to view the rest. Like i did view the rest , though it was down right scary , and i kept hoping they wont die in the upcoming shots.
908. Pumpkin said:
I didn't find the photos disturbing. Death is a part of life.
When I clicked I expected to see dead people since you had told me what would be on the other side of the link.
I thought the photos were very touching...almost like they were sleeping.
The text on the side explaining how they felt about dying and reflecting on life was sombering.
Much more than the photos.
I agree with someone else that said that people who follow links on websites should be responsible for their OWN actions. It was childlike that she took the time to email you after you had already clearly described what was on the website connected to the link.
909. Susmitha said:
I can't even begin to imagine what the photographer must have gone through. Meeting all these people and getting to know them, knowing that soon they were going to die.
It was difficult for me to keep going after a few photographs but I must admit that the idea behind it is beautiful in a creepy way.
I'm new to your website and have been reading only for a couple of days now. So I was under the impression that coming here means a few good laughs and a lighter look at life. But today's post was so unexpectedly deep!!
910. Anonymous said:
I found them unsettling. It is scary that some of the people were pretty young. Also, they did not want to die. Death is scary and I hate it. I hate that it is looming.
911. Jill said:
Surprised at how much appearance of aging occurred in a short span of time. It's death. It reminds us to enjoy our lives.
People are absolutely bizarre in the things they write to others under the guise of anonymity. For all the negative things people write you- I'd bet a hefty dollar none of them would get up in front of a room and read their words out loud.
I say close your comments if you want to. Why should you have to expose yourself to the ramblings of the wild.
912. Krystal said:
Thank you so much for that link. Those photos are beautiful,haunting,sad and meaningful all at the same time.
Death is just another phase in time and this photos show that clearly.
I want to go outside and just breath in deeply and let all the troubles I have take a break and just live life.
913. Jill said:
What a beautiful work.
We are so far removed from death in our culture. We pay someone to take care of it for us so we remain detached. We no longer bathe and care for our loved ones after they die, laying them out in the living room for a last visit. Not saying we should all be laid out in the living room, but it is a cultural disconnect that has robbed us greatly. There is so much about life we learn through death.
Thanks. It really helped with the metaphysical crisis of the day ;-)
914. Jessica said:
I have always been a bit scared of death. Maybe because I fought hard to beat cancer at its own game. But tonight I was taught that the Aztecs accepted death as a large part of life and even celebrated it. I think that it is easier to think about death as more of a transition the an ending. These photos and comments showed the transition in a very human way. Thanks for the incite Heather.
915. Terri Sinclair said:
Facinating. Incredible. The past three years have been difficult ones, I've lost many family members, the latest died this past Christmas Day. I'm having many "death issues" and not dealing well with the, at times, overwhelming feelings of grief. I'm in awe of the people in the photos and their stories. Thoughts of their families and loved ones have been on my mind all day. What a thin, thin line there is between life and death. How one moment you're "here" and the next you can be "gone."
Some days I think "how will I die?" Will I be sick? Will I be in a car accident? Will I suffer? Will I know in advance? How old will I be? Is it better to know? Is sudden death easier somehow?
916. Jennifer said:
Thanks for sharing the link. These are stunning portraits, and the photographer's commentary is incredibly respectful and poignant.
What surprised me most was that many of the subjects are more expressive in their portraits after death than they were before. Amazing.
917. SwissBarb said:
Beautiful pictures, full of intensity, respect, and peace. Illness and death are not to be hidden, they are a part of life.
918. thera said:
I am glad that Mimi emailed if only because it opened up the comments, and we, your readers, have obviously had strong visceral reactions to the pieces. As we should. And sharing those reactions has been immensely helpful. So thank you Mimi for bringing about unintentional solidarity.
919. Naomi Niles said:
That was extremely touching and fascinating at the same time. Thank you for sharing it with us!
920. Anonymous said:
My mom died 2 years ago and I was afraid to go into her room after she was gone. I was scared that I would remember her that way instead of seeing the grace she had while she was living.
Thanks for this.
921. funkybrownchick said:
I think the pictures are online and you have a right to link to what you'd like ... and, your blog is YOUR blog; you have the right to open or close comments as you wish. :)
922. Fiona said:
I found these photographs, and the text accompanying them, fascinating, enlightening, troubling and comforting, all at the same time. I really appreciate your providing us the link to them -- this is something I would never have stumbled upon myself. I think our society has a very ostrich-with-its-head-in-the-sand attitude towards death -- we try to sanitize it and hide it away. In my view, it would be much healthier if we all had a more realistic view of death and dying, and things like this are a step in the right direction.
923. Jessica said:
I think it's a beautiful photo essay. These were clearly very respectfully done.
I'm going to echo the feelings of many other readers and ask: Mimi from Oakland, what gives? Are you too busy trying to use your asshole to turn coal into a diamond that you completely missed the point?
Oh, sorry, *that* was nauseating, wasn't it?
924. susan m said:
I was with my mother when she died, and photographed her -- because it was the last time I would ever be able to take her picture. It's true that it takes a long time for the image of the dead body to leave your mind, and it is hard to see someone you love be ravaged by disease. But eventually that image fades away and you remember how they looked when alive.
925. Ali Harris said:
I thought the pictures were wonderful and sad at the same time. I was riveted by them. I have no problem with your posting them at all. Thanks Heather!
926. Helen said:
I thought these pictures along with the comments below each one about the people were beautiful and fascinating. And extremely peaceful. And real. Thank you for sharing the link, of something that i would otherwise have never seen.
927. chriss said:
Perhaps it was the intimacy of the moments captured that frightened Mimi to the point of nausea. I have had the privilege (yes, the privilege) of being with two people I loved as the drew their last breaths. These were not happy moments but they were crucial moments in my life. As a journalist, I am exposed to some truly gut-wrenching photos and stories of death and mayhem. That is not the case with this exhibit. Yes some might be disturbed or uncomfortable with the photographs, but they are true to the experience and to the people pictured in my opinion.
928. Kelly Marie said:
I thought the portraits were beautiful. This is my favourite message:
"Gerda couldn’t believe that cancer was cheating her of her hard-earned retirement. “My whole life was nothing but work, work, work,†she told me. She had worked on the assembly line in a soap factory, and had brought up her children single-handedly. “Does it really have to happen now? Can’t death wait?†she sobbed"
929. Gorky said:
This is a great set. The second picture is not so much "dead" as "at peace". Very moving. thanks.
930. blogapotamus said:
It's astonishing that anyone could be offended by portraits such as these. What ties us together more than our feelings towards our own mortality? I thought they showed the subjects an immense amount of dignity, both before and after death.
931. Belinda said:
I can't see what was beautiful about the photos of the dead people - I think people have chosen to interpret these images in the same as we interpret any other art form, and the responses are a reflection/projection of what we want to see. We are afraid that the reality of death is in the main painful, prolonged, unhappy and scary and so we search for evidence of 'Beauty' 'Peace' 'Release' in images/faces of dead people to comfort ourselves. I think the people before looked like interesting character faces to photograph..and afterwards well they just looked dead...
932. K said:
a bit haunting, especially with the paragraph describing the people the pics are portraying
but they look beautiful, just like they're asleep
they look like they've had a quiet and peaceful death. these photos must have been taken right after they passed away, they still look quite "fresh"..
beautiful.
933. Kate said:
I think Mimi needs to chill out. They were neither gory nor grotesque, but moreover elegantly captured and respectfully done. Death is a part of living and the photographer embraces it beautifully.
It's a shame she used the word 'nauseated' because I almost did not click on the link for fear that it would be something absolutely disgusting. I'm glad I sucked it up and clicked (and then realized that in the true blogger nature, Dooce wouldn't link something that would make you want to puke up your Cheerios).
934. kim at allconsuming said:
amazing.
breathtaking.
captivating.
peaceful.
insightful.
sad.
take your pick.
what an amazing project and carried out with such grace and sensitivity.
Just utterly remarkable.
(and I am so pleased you opened comments for us all the share in what can only be termed a remarkable piece of art reflecting life)
935. Anna said:
Death is simply a part of life.
936. Ram said:
Amazing – and totally life affirming.
937. John Mahoney said:
This set of photographs is outstanding. Do not be afraid to look -- you might even come to 'see'.
938. Deanna McNeil said:
I was moved beyond words for hours. Really, what commentor #1 (Eric) said? I agree with him 100%: Live your life!
939. Michelle said:
Amazing concept from the photographer. An inspiration to purpose to enjoy & appreciate every day & every moment.
940. Friday said:
Tsk, you people need to lay off Mimi. Fair enough, if the photos provoked a reaction in her. I believe that's why they were created? After I sat through two hours of Funny Games U.S., I was ready to give Michael Haneke a right verbal flogging (shoot the messenger, yeah?). The only difference is, he wasn't available for me to rail at and I had a chance to calm down before I got home to my email. It was very kind of Heather to give her an opportunity to voice how they made her feel (I'm sure she's plenty sorry she spoke up.) (No, I'm not Mimi).
941. Amy said:
I think this is a tribute to these beautiful people -beautiful despite and BECAUSE of their very human feelings and conditions- and the medium is a traditional way to pay tribute to the dead, though we don't see it much at all these days: the post-mortem photograph. I believe that things which are ugly or unpleasant in life are often swept under the rug these days. Everything seems sanitized beyond belief sometimes. It is good to see real and gritty life staring one in the face. We all will be facing death eventually... this makes me think about how I might handle my own life and death!
942. Elaine said:
If you click thru to the interview with the two people (Walter Schels and Beate Lakotta) who actually did the project, the ambivalence in some of the comments here is shared. I found the fact that Walter Schels was so terrified of death that he felt compelled to do this, almost as touching as the images themselves. The accompanying text makes the photos so powerful - without the context the images are just sad - her words are their voices.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/apr/01/society.photography
943. Kate said:
In defense of Mimi, I don't think she was blaming Heather for posting the link; she just wished she could share her response. Then again, she called Heather a chicken shit, so it was a pretty immature reaction.
As for me, I'm the type who is fascinated by death but likely to be nauseated because it also bothers me. I obviously clicked the link and, like most people here, thought the photos were beautiful. Thanks for sharing, Heather.
944. Kathleen said:
They were beautiful. The little stories about each person were incredible, thank you for posting this.
945. Ashmystir said:
That lady is an idiot! I think those before/after pics are beautiful representations of the human spirit. I would have been bothered IF they had been mutilated but they really just look at peace and asleep.
I had also wondered why you close comments but that is YOUR choice. I figure that you just get slammed by comments from us fans of your blog and are too busy taking a picture for our daily chuck to read all of them.
Cool blog!
946. enny said:
The only difference is their mouths are so relaxed.
Perhaps the text is confronting, but not in a nasty way - just to make you realise: wow. Death is it.
947. Anonymous said:
I encourage anyone who was moved by these photos to watch the recent Frontline episode called The Undertaking, about life and death and a small-town funeral home. It is available to watch in full online at pbs.org.
948. Heather said:
This was unbelievable and amazing and I feel like I need to go LIVE.
Thank you.
949. erin said:
Poignant images that remind us life is fleeting. If anything, we can learn from these people not to take for granted what we have, because something could just as easily come along and side-swipe us so that we frantically try to live. We have the opportunity every day to appreciate every minute detail.
One of mine for the past few years has been to notice the changes in sunlight each morning, and to watch the spring buds on trees transform into leaves.
Thanks for sharing this; it was an emotional reminder that I need to get back to the little things that make my family happy.
950. June said:
Mimi,
I’m thinking this hasn’t quite panned out the way you had imagined.
Seriously though, there’s a lesson to be learned from it.
We all make mistakes. Admitting that can be very liberating and I’m sure Heather is quite gracious.
June
951. Amy said:
I want to go hug my kids now.
952. Jordan said:
It's not like the pictures were violent and gory...When you care for someone who is ill, they don't look so different in death. When someone dies in your arms, you are forever changed by that moment, and in my case, now view death as a part of life.
953. Azar said:
I loved them, and was disappointed the exhibit is in London. I was especially interested in seeing the rest of the photographs after I read the accompanying article.
Thank you for posting the link. I'm a big fan of photography, even if it is morbid or haunting. These were beautifully executed.
954. Amy said:
Hey Miss Mimi Lady,
Heather didn't *take* the pictures--it's a link. Save your irritation for the photographer.
Now, I really want to comment on a more important photo. I have a huge crush on Beagle Bo, and I love how Chuck looks so delighted to have a partner in crime and Coco looks like she knows her ass is grass.
955. jenC said:
Heather, thank you for never idiot-proofing your site.
Moved, sad, inspired, thoughtful, comfortable, lonely, etc. All of these went through me when I paged through these photos...sometimes simultaneously. I think I expected beatific faces in the After photos and I was both disappointed and impressed that they just looked real.
This has made me a little more motivated about a Before You Die project I've had in my head. Thank you for sharing.
956. betsy said:
Stunningly beautiful photos.
We are so fearful of death in Western cultures -- we have a lot to learn. Projects like this one have the power to educate, empower, and sensitize people to the process of dying. The photos are incredibly moving.
957. dj said:
I read the comments as far as #8 who left such a brilliant comment that all others would pale in comparison.
958. Eater's Regret said:
Wow, anything that Mimi may have said in an emotional, visceral reaction to these pictures has been drastically overshadowed by the nasty comments in response. Heather is a big girl, who does not need the fawning Internet hoards defending her. Mimi was entitled to her opinion and emailed it privately, I’m sure Heather realises that when you get famous for something, the whole world is not going to agree with you. Mimi responded in a mature way to explain herself, the rest of the commenters have not. I do not believe that Heather should have posted the email, it was wrong to throw her to the wolves like this. As some other commenter has said, it sure does drive up traffic. Heather, I am a big fan of the site and will remain to be, but I didn’t realise you were capable of pettiness like this.
This is schoolyard bullying. Commenters should take the stick out of their own asses, stop kissing up to Heather and just grow up!
959. hummingbird said:
Haunting yes, in bad taste no. Perhaps the origional email comment was from someone that has issues with the idea of death. These photos are in no way disrespectful to the individuals who posed for them. The photos are amazing in their artistic nature. The comments are the words of the individuals features in the portraits.
I would hope that someone would treat a death in my family with such a sense of respect.
960. K said:
It's not quite seven in the morning, still dark outside and my husband is out of town, so I'm sitting in bed alone with my laptop, completely intrigued by the thought of this website, but far too much of a pansy (aka C.S.) to go there alone. Maybe later in the day, when it's light outside. And when I've forgotten the comments that say it feels like they are looking over your shoulder.
In the mean time, thank you for your commentary on life and for being brave enough to do it day after day, with a live link to your email sitting right there. That takes a much stronger stomach than having an itchy clicker finger and an overwhelming urge to blame someone else for your clickery.
961. Amanda said:
I could only look at the first one, and that was enough. Maybe later I'll look at the rest.
If the first shot is any indication, the series will be stunning and touching.
Good job as always, Dooce.
962. Caren said:
The photos are absolutely stunning, beautiful, thought provoking.
963. k-m-s said:
Wow. How do you find these things?
964. Beth said:
Inspiring and thought provoking. The photos and the stories behind them serve as a reminder to me to live my life to the fullest each day.
I thought the people who agreed to participate gave one last priceless gift to the rest of us who carry on - not to be afraid.
965. Hunter said:
Thank you
Just what I needed to remind me to squeeze every drop out of every day.
966. mosprott said:
I appreciate the courage of the participants - who didn't mind sharing their last moments so beautifully. And thank you, Heather, for pointing me in their direction.
967. Mark S. said:
Beautiful; heartbreaking. I paraphrase, but the statement, "It's only now that I'm dying, I really want to live..." sticks in my mind. Haunting.
Thank you for sharing this exceptional photo essay.
968. Shelley said:
#38, your friend's description of her role brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks, Dooce. This was amazing - especially/even for a person who lives in fear of death daily.
969. e.darcy said:
I thought it was beautiful, and moving. It brought tears to my eyes... But I couldnt help but stare at the after death pictures and think about how they just looked so peaceful-and asleep. How any minute one would open their eyes and it'd all be a big joke.
970. MA said:
I found the photos fascinating... I looked at each set twice, carefully examining the contours and shades in before and after poses. The black and white photography really enhanced the experience and I came away feeling oddly quiet.
971. Jen said:
Thank you, Heather, for posting that link. Amazing images and moving words.
And yeah, time for me to go outside for a bit.
972. Anonymous said:
My father died last year of a terminal illness. Those photographs captured what I witnessed, the peace of death.
973. AmyM said:
I thought they were hauntingly beautiful. It's amazing how much the countenance changes once the life is gone.
974. kelly rutledge said:
beautiful....what a tribute to those people. loved them all. thank you for showing them to me.
975. Mary said:
These pictures were so beautiful and they touched me in a very personal way. I was with my dad when he died from brain cancer almost 8 years aho. He died in my arms and I waited hours before calling the funeral home because I just wanted to look at him and etch his face into my memory. These pictures and the stories remind me of him and all that he went through. Once again, you have brightened my day. Thank You
976. Amy K. said:
It's unfortunate that that Mimi in Oakland is so caught up in her own insecurities that she couldn't see the beauty and the perseverance of the people in those photos.
Yes, it is sad that they died so young. But it's not "nauseating."
Some may call it morbid, but I choose to view it as a celebration of their lives.
Thank you for posting the link.
977. Eric L said:
My wife was looking at this last night and I thought to myself, what the hell... then as I got on the computer this morning and looked at it myself I couldn't help but reflect on my own life and what I need to accomplish still before I go. Amazing really - thanks
978. Leigh said:
I, too, thought the pictures were beautiful. What was more interesting to me was the stories that accompanied them. That each person was as different in life as they were in their approach to death. The photos were beautiful. Commentor number 215 may have been referring to the organization "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" that is a national group of professional photographers that volunatarily photograph stillborn, premature, and dying babies. This organization does tremendous good. As do you, heather, by providing the link. So keep on keeping on!
979. Sarah Friedman said:
My father was diagnosed with bladder cancer in late April 2005 and was gone November 27, 2005. He was 57. He chose to die at home where he felt most comfortable and where he loved to be. Though it was a tortuous process, dying, he was peaceful and calm and funny until the end. Those pictures bring back my memories of that last day, that last moment with him when he took his last breath. The pictures haunt me and they comfort me, as I see my father in each of them. He was the most courageous man I will ever know.
980. BH said:
"But the same is true of life in general -- the final frame is never one of survival. Does that stop us from hoping?"
Well said, Matt.
Thank you for sharing this, Heather. I can't believe how much pictures of complete strangers moved me, how i ached for them in their last moments, especially the one woman who was so bitter about being cheated out of her retirement. Makes me so glad that I've seen and done many wonderful things with my life already. Why wait? Live life to the fullest.
981. Anonymous said:
Last night I recieved a call informing of the death of a friend I had lost touch with. She committed suicide. Seeing those pictures reminded me that while I have no idea if there is a heaven, I do know that death puts our bodies and minds at rest, at peace.
Thank you for sharing the link. I wish it I had not needed it to mean something, but I did.
982. misguided mommy said:
I will admit it, I am chicken shit. I am too afraid to look.
983. Anonymous said:
I read a comment here regarding our society's attitude regarding death. Yes, I too think it is a bit out of proportion. When I was a kid in the early 1970's, there was always a funeral to go to. As a kid, I saw dead people every couple of months. No big deal. It's part of life. In our current societal state we are so sheltered from the "ugliness" or "inevitableness" so that now people are often shocked or "hurt" in some way that they shouldn't be. I feel that hiding these elements from us does us an injustice. It just goes to show the shallowness of our current society. I enjoyed the pictures and espcially the captioning that went with each one and the fact that the dates between life and death were so short. It drives home a very powerful point. Thank you for the link!
984. Mel said:
I felt tingly while I read the words and watched the transformations in the photographs... and then, out of nowhere, the sobs hit me.
It's not so much that I was sad, but that I was realizing the essence of death-- the lack of life, and I think I was mourning the ends of their lives. There were a few photos where the dead face looked so much more peaceful than the living face, and that made me cry too, for lives that are filled with pain and worry about one's loved ones when they know the end is soon.
This was a very powerful selection, and I want you to know that I'm grateful to you for sharing it with me.
985. Kelly said:
My Mother died last month. I hadn't seen her since Christmas, not spoken to her since her birthday at the end of December. I was given the option of viewing her body before her cremation. I felt like a chicken shit for choosing not to view the body, but I figured once I saw her in death, that was the only image I would have of her in my head, going forward.
So, against the little voice in my head screaming "you DON"T want to see this, you REALLY F'IN DONT WANT TO SEE THIS!" I clicked.
And while I didn't have time to check out more than the first two, as I ought to be walking out the door right this moment instead of sitting here wrapped in my bath-towel, I will be clicking again to check out the rest of them after I get home from class tonight.
They were incredibly peaceful and touched me in a wounded part of me that I've been nursing since the 1st of Febuary.
986. Anonymous said:
Leslie (Comment 173),
I lost my mother the same way--bladder cancer (probably a genetic mutation, she was otherwise the picture of healthy living), very young, very quickly. I, too, didn't want to see the different person laying there. That wasn't my mom. My mom stares back at me from the mirror in the morning and her spirit gets me through some horrible nights. You may never read this, but I just wanted to let you know there's one person out there who understands...
These photos were haunting and beautiful. There is truly peace in so many of their faces. It gives me hope...
987. Beth H said:
Some people always want to blame somebody else for the things they allow themselves see on the internet.
The folks in the pictures just wanted to share their last "big event" with the world, and should be applauded for it. Nobody ever gets nauseated from baby pictures or wedding photos.
In the 19th century, people had a fascination with death and regularly took family photos with the deceased person as a remembrance. Today we look at anything unpleasant with such squeamishness.
988. LlamaBait said:
Mimi from Oakland just demonstrated the fascinating psychological phenomenon known as projection. She was upset and frightened by the photos, so naturally she accused Heather of cowardice. Makes a lot of sense given that people are totally insane and weird.
I looked with trepidation myself, but to my surprise, the dead looked so peaceful and beautiful. It made me feel a little tiny bit more OK about death. I also realized how much happier I am with my life than so many of these folks were with theirs.
Carpe diem, y'all.
989. Tomothy said:
Strangely I found the pictures less moving than the writing that accompanied them. Particularly the story of the woman who reconciled with her ex-husband.
I think it was good to see, if only to reflect on how lucky I am to be healthy and alive.
990. annette said:
Beautiful, peaceful and respectful. every one has a story and I am glad these stories were shared.
991. Kathy said:
This photo essay is one of the most beautiful things I have seen. I was privileged to have been with each of my parents as they died. Death is not pretty, but it is a release, in most cases. Thank you for sharing this.
992. Mel said:
We lost our beautiful toddler (inevitably due to an unsuspected hereditary disorder) at 16 months. I was 4 months pregnant with our second child.
Hard as it was, we took photos of our girl before they took her from us, in case our children wanted to see that her death wasn't scary or frightening, but was just the dimming of her light in our lives.
We haven't been able to look at them ourselves yet (it's only been 2 years), just as I wasn't able (for obvious reasons) to look at these. However, I don't think that what we did was nauseating, nor what these consenting adults and their photographer did was nauseating. I think your emailer has her own issues, and wanted to cause her own little sensation.
Our daughter was a couple of months younger than Leta, and I found your site when we were both pregnant. I have found comfort and cheer in your writing; have gone through many of the same emotional states (and recognised what was happening to me through your honesty and could seek help) and that you constantly receive messages of irrational ignorance saddens me. Keep on keeping on, Heather & Jon, and always remember, some people have turnips instead of brains.
Mel
993. mary said:
Actually, your photos about death have more substance than you taking cheap shots at certain religions. I think you are just taking advantage of how much people are intriqued by the Mormon faith. There is always controversy surrounding its history, etc. I am not a member of that church, but I think the people I know who are members are wonderful people and try to do good things. I don't see them going around bashing you or any other religion.
So, the death photos are not offensive to me, even though I could never have posted photos of my mother, who just happened to die. It would not have felt right at all to me. We are all different and I think we should respect that about everyone, even people of different faiths and beliefs than our own.
994. ash said:
very touching.
thank you.
995. Rachel B said:
These photos, before and after, were beautiful. All I could think of when looking at the after death photos was..."They are not there."
I personally do not believe death is the end of life, but that it is the beginning of a new existence somewhere else.
996. Tanya said:
I thought they were beautiful and crushingly sad.
Someone witnesses the birth of every child. Everyone deserves to have someone witness the end of their life too.
997. The Introvert said:
I am a little late in the game responding, so no one will probably read this. However, I still wanted to say thank you for posting this. People seem to be so afraid to talk about death - as if it won't happen if we ignore it. But I think facing death helps you embrace life.
I was forced to deal with death at a young age, so these images didn't shock me as much as they would some people. In fact, these images and the stories behind them were amazing to me.
998. Kim said:
Thanks so much for posting this link. What a great way to remember how precious each day is and how quickly it can all be taken away. I will be sharing it with many friends.
999. Lucia said:
They are stunning photos--How brave some of them were. How scared, too. Surely the moment before dying is easier than the moment before birth (?!) I'd like to think so.
1000. Aimee said:
I agree with Shannon - way up there at comment #28. Some of the photos really did show the stress gone and a peacefulness in it's place.
1001. Erin said:
Stirring and beautiful.
1002. Kay said:
I've been procrastinating and down in the dumps all day, pretending to work at the university library. I've just looked through those pictures, sat amongst my peers in the computer room, and I want to cry; I have the biggest lump in my throat. It puts everything in perspective; those people were beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
1003. Susan said:
I thought these were stunning images. I was constantly choked up at the beauty of life and couldn't help but imagine the loss their families must have felt when they passed on. Thank you for sharing.
1004. TriptikGirl said:
I think they're very beautiful, in an eerie sort of way. And why did that emailer click the link? Did she not read the description you posted?
Of course, one of the subjects looked dead in their "before" picture...
1005. Katriina said:
I agree with Rebecca...these photos made me feel peaceful.
There was nothing bad about them. They were true to the person and true to life. I think people are uncomfortable with death and fear it. This, I think will help people see death isnt ugly and not to be fearful
1006. Fred said:
While I don't agree with Mimi about the photos (you were quite upfront about the subject matter) I do agree that you need to have comments open on more posts.
Of course since this entry is reading at 999 posts I imagine you won't get to the bottom of the pile to read this...
1007. Jeremy Perez-Cruz said:
I can understand the disgust some people might feel towards these photos. The second portraits are fairly discomforting. However, this intimate looking into human fragility was touching and inspiring. Although the photography was very well done, the accompanying stories are the real gems of this project. It's obvious many of these individuals are much braver than I could ever be, it makes me want to live life.
1008. Susan said:
I was glad that you posted the link. It reminds me of the connection between all of us, as human beings. And how things can change in an instant (including our outlook on life, love, family, friends, God, and everything) when we are smaked in the face with our mortality.
How fragile we are.
1009. madina said:
Heather,
I just have to say thank you for posting that link. The reason is that i am one of those people who have always been terrified of dead bodies and anything having to do with death and after having seen it, i physically felt easier about the whole thing. i mean the stories told about the people next to the before and after shots, just make you appreciate everything in your life and want to stop whining about every stupid little thing. Life is so short, and though it is unfortunate that we need websites/photo's like that to remind us of that, we have to be reminded of that and be more grateful for what we have.
Madina
1010. Meghan said:
*shivers*
The real kick of that series is that some people look naturally at the end of their life, and others look as though some kind of disease is taking them early. Not conjointly, some of the people look at peace about what's to come, some do not. That was the part that chilled me.
I have to agree, though, it elicited the same reaction from me. I feel the need to take my son outside and play in the sunshine. I never feared death before I had children. Now, I feel like I have to come to terms with The Inevitable Veil all over again.
1011. Brad said:
A wonderful idea, and excellent photography. Did my stomach sink a bit? Yes. Nauseating? No. It is the first time I've been moved by art in a while, and I appreciate the photographer for taking a chance with such a project.
1012. Trina said:
Very moving. Thank you for posting this.
1013. Anonymous said:
I assume that Heather actually DOES read through her comments to make sure that there are no spam site comments, no stupid completely unrelated comments, no nasty hatemail comments. So every time girl opens her comments to the world, that's a crapload more work for her.
She doesn't OWE anyone an outlet for their emotions. The problem with Mimi's email was that it was aggressive and insulting. Would you call some dude on the street a chicken shit and expect him to know you were "joking"?
The lamest thing Mimi has done is continue to post in these comments. This is not her blog. It's not like anyone knows who Mimi in Oakland really is, so who cares if she feels she got bashed on this site. The mature thing to do would be to STOP TALKING. She should know by now, if she really does read Dooce, that emails sent to Heather are fair game for inclusion on this site. Her error, not Heather's.
1014. Froggychick said:
Heather, this site is so moving. There is nothing disturbing or gross about it. I think it tells a great story about death and the thoughts of those facing it. Thank you for posting it.
Katrina
1015. Hanna Em said:
Haunting and inspiring. I think things like those pictures simply make life more beautiful.
I don't know how you do it, Heather. I know people are entitled to their own opinions but I couldn't go through all the reactions you must get. I know the good must outweigh the bad but.. how depressing to have strangers calling you names!
1016. Lori said:
i had already read the article and looked at the photographs before you mentioned them. i thought they were beautiful and moving, and they made me think about appreciating the stage of life i'm in while i'm in it.
1017. Amybeth said:
Thank you for sharing the website that you found. Thank you for the recommendation of reading the captions to the photos. That is truly the moving part for me. It's a reminder to share time with your loved ones now, today. Time is short and we never know how short.
1018. Nancy said:
I've always found ancient death masks to be so hauntingly lovely and these photographs strike a similar chord. They speak to the sweet enduring desire to memorialize our loved ones coupled a slightly macabre reminder of the transcience of life. I remember looking at the death mask of some unknown Roman in a dusty museum years ago and being forcibly struck by the realization that "this person existed; this person was loved." The photographs are even more powerful in some ways since they are juxaposed against the living. It was a chilling experience, but a profound one -- thanks for sharing the link.
1019. Kirsty said:
My father died a month ago at only 60 years of age. He died at home, my mother and I were with him. I feel priviledged to have been able to share those precious moments, and seeing him lying there having given up his battle to live was extremely helpful to the grieving process. I think it helped me to put his death in perspective.
1020. Hollie said:
It was good to see the link - makes me wish I'd taken photos of my grandfathers immediately after they passed (2/01 & 6/01), the undertaker 'fixed' their mouths in a way that made them more upsetting to view. I, of course, love them both dearly and was so sadden from their losses, to see them each slightly altered in their casket was even more upsetting. I am still haunted by the last time I saw each of them and thought, "That's not my Papa."
Thankfully, we had gotten a photo of both of them at our family's Christmas gathering.
Priceless photo for me.
1021. jennie said:
these are beautiful and powerful images. My grandpa recently passed away and even though he was not himself and not well, it was fascintating to the changes in him. being with him at that time was a gift. these photos feel that way too - a gift to experience.
1022. Sara said:
Mimi from Oakland needs to get her head checked, b/c seems to me she took it personally that you had closed comments. Wow, like you would have known some stranger in Oakland was going to come over, click the link, and then want to bitch about it. Damnit Heather, your ESP is weak.
Anyway, the set was haunting in a you need to appreciate life kind of way, and scary b/c some of the subjects were afraid of death even in their 80s. Nauseating? Not at all. They all looked peaceful.
1023. Jessica said:
I couldn't look at them. Creeped me out a bit.
1024. Laura said:
Thank you
1025. suzanne said:
Bravo Heather! This is what having a widely-viewed blog is all about. Opening doors that might otherwise have remained closed.
Uncomfortable or not, dying is something we'll all do. You've honored these beautiful spirits by posting the link.
I wish I had a picture of my own mom after she passed. Her difficult final weeks and the moment of her death, her final ragged breaths, are forever seared into my memory. It would be comforting to have a picture of her face, in a peaceful repose.
Thanks for opening our eyes to what most of us fear, mortality.
I'm going to go sit with my toddler now, that's what living is truly all about.
1026. princessyukki said:
Beautiful photography, moving and thought provoking words. Such courage.
1027. Katie said:
I did not find the photos beautiful or peaceful or reassuring. But the images and stories reached out and clenched my heart. They made me want to cry for those I've lost and will lose, laugh with joy for having with me the people I love.
I've held hands with death too many times already. Death is not beautiful, but it is inescapable. And art doesn't have to be beautiful to be art.
Thanks for the link.
1028. Schmilf said:
First I have to say that I read you daily. Love your blog and b/c I read yours I now also read Georges and occasionally others you link to. I looked at these photos before I read your blog and I found them interesting and as you said both beautiful and haunting. And I have to say I thought it was kinda cool that something that had already piqued my interest was posted in a blog I admire so much! Keep on doing what you do so well.
1029. Backdated said:
I loved them, but I found I couldn't look at very many of them at one time. I've been trying to figure out exactly why that is. I think it's partly that each one is such a poignant and intense story that it gets overwhelming, but it's also partly just that we are really removed from the physical reality of death in our culture. It's possible that I saw more images of dead people in this exhibit than I have cumulatively in all the news footage I've ever seen. I'm curious if other people think that's accurate?
1030. Stacey said:
People suck and opinions are like assholes....to bad Mimi does and is!
1031. Lisa said:
I clicked and quite frankly, I appreciated what I saw. I watched, literally, my grandmother die and her death mask wasn't as peaceful. I was touched to know that a peaceful passing does exist for people.
And Mimi? Take responsibility for your own actions. It's what adults do.
1032. Emily said:
My grandparents' funerals did not include a casket--they had asked to be cremated and the funeral itself was more like a wake, taking place when everyone could be there, several weeks after the death. So I was more than a little shocked at the open-casket funeral of my husband's grandfather--and even more uncomfortable to see people taking pictures of the body with their cellphones. This series made me think of that. I hope he looked that peaceful in their cell pictures.
1033. Jodi said:
I thought the images were haunting, beautiful and brave.
1034. iheartmacncheese said:
Equal parts intriguing and eerie. I'm fascinated and frightened at the same time. The photography is beautiful and the captions are inspiring. Thank you for sharing this.
1035. Liesal said:
Those pictures brought me to tears they are so beautiful and made me think about my life and loved ones. Thank you for posting them.
1036. Julia said:
Extremely beautiful.
1037. Mojo said:
I was neither moved nor riveted nor repelled - but maybe I didn't stay long enough. Got kind of bored and stopped after a handful of people. I really liked the portraits but didn't quite grasp the beauty or significance, to be honest.
That's OK though. These comments inspired me even if the photos didn't :) Thanks for posting it! And for opening the comments - I'm not sure I would have gotten anything out of it at all if it hadn't been for other readers who are no doubt much deeper than I am.
Love ya, Dooce! And, as an Austinite, I'm terribly sorry I couldn't come and see you while you were here. I was somewhere else :) But I'm still a fan!! Glad you had fun!
1038. alecto said:
I need the sun on my face now too. Thank you for that.
1039. Birdie said:
I think they are beautiful.
1040. Lavatorylady said:
It's the kind of the thing that makes you a bit more appreciative of life. If they make you nauseous then don't look. Further; what kind of adult calls someone a chicken-shit?
1041. Elaine said:
If I overlooked the sensationalist nature of the photos, I really was touched by the stories. I have mixed feelings about the exhibit, but it is undeniably powerful.
Mimi, I think the reason for all this backlash is that you emailed in anger while uninformed (dooce hardly ever opens comments). You admitted that error later but never actually apologized for sending a mean email based on your own mistake, and instead defended your email. You said you were sorry if Heather took "chickenshit" in a negative way (who wouldn't?), but you aren't sorry you said it, and you never said you were sorry for being wrong about the fact she doesn't normally open comments! I find that when someone apologizes for someone taking their pointed words negatively but purposely refusing to apologize for what they said and did pretty chickenshit. Your email had a mean and angry tone. You denounce everyone for bashing you, but they're doing exactly what you did. Your anger was worse as it was uninformed and unsubstantiated. You lashed out and won't admit it. You're of course entitled to your own opinion on the photos, but you really screwed up in the way you let it be known. Heather totally called you on it and you're floundering in a really hypocritical way. If you're going to email a mean complaint to a complete stranger, don't be all surprised when they call you on it, especially if you don't have your facts straight!
1042. Marta said:
They made me cry. Death is inevitable, but I am selfish and I never want to be left by my loved ones. I'm at work at my desk, and I am crying. But they are tears of acceptance.
1043. Inkwell said:
The photos didn't strike me nearly as much as the various comments and the stories of the people's deaths. I was particularly struck by the woman who spoke to her ex-husband for the first time in almost 20 years when she found out she was dying; there's a powerful lesson for everyone in that story.
1044. hydrogeek said:
The photos touched me. The comments made me cry, starting with #34. I'm glad you opened them.
1045. Jen. said:
Thank you for the link to such a beautiful story and thoughtful pictures. Death is so marginalized in this society and the ability to see that quiet solitude is quite rare.
As always, you shar a provocative and thoughtful postings.
1046. Leesavee said:
Hauntingly beautiful and very moving.
1047. Kat said:
I was a little scared at first click, but they were really haunting and serene like many of the posters have said before me. Right now my ex husband is dying from stage 4 Esophageal cancer. I saw him for the first time in 4 years this past Sunday...my breath was taken away upon seeing him...he looks like a 90 year, broken old man. My heart is breaking for him. I am terribly afraid for him but after seeing the pictures, it reminded me that when he passes, he may finally, for the first time in his life, find peace. Thank you Dooce.
1048. Kari said:
I am sad for Mimi right now. I am sure that she never expected to see her email out there for everyone to read. I can only imagine that she is embarrassed to see what people think of her. I know I would be.
That being said... Wow! I had no idea that seeing those pictures would make me feel the way they did. I have survived cancer, and not once did I ever think I would die from it. I have to wonder if anyone in the photos thought they were invicible just as I did. The photos and statements that go with them are a real eye opener for me.
1049. trish said:
I think the people in those pictures are brave souls. They were facing death and it seems they all did it with a dignity that I can only hope I have should my life come to an end like theirs.
Thank you for posting the link. Otherwise I would not have had the opportunity to see such beautiful work.
1050. Magda said:
Thank you for the link. My grandmother and father passed away last year, and these pictures reminded me of seeing the faces of their bodies without them inside. I was surprised to find that the more alarming pictures were the "before"s, when despair and loneliness, rather than peace, seemed the theme. It made me treasure all the more that I was able to spend last days with the ones I loved.
1051. Rhonda said:
I was there when both my mother and sister passed on. It was a sorrowful time for myself and family, but to see them released from the pain they were facing everyday...how could I not think that it was a wonderous moment for them? These photos just helped to validate how I feel about life. Love and live today as fully as you possibly can. Our bodies are simply a shell that's "on borrow", death comes to all, but that is not the end, as I know they are beside me still.
1052. Amy said:
Mimi has a stick up her ass. What is so nauseating about those photos? And did I even spell "nauseating" correctly? Anyway, the death photos really just looked like people sleeping, not so much dead. Seeing this made me a little sad, thinking about my Dad who passed in 2006. In a way I'm glad I never got to see his "after" portrait - I don't even like having seen his immediate "before" portrait where he was really just a shell of the man he used to be once the cancer had taken over. Anyway, Mimi can kiss Chuck's ass.
1053. Mimi said:
Elaine,
Who says calling someone a "chicken shit" is lashing out? You obviously don't use "chicken shit" in your repertoire of comminucation. If I had intended to lash out, which you so strongly believe because you know me and my intent so well, I am better prepared linguistically to do so than call someone a "chicken shit". Trust me. I could unleash a tirade of english on you that would have you crawling back in YOUR uninformed eighth-grade english writing level hole.
Furthermore, you obviously didn't read all the comments so you get your facts straight. Using the word "never" usually only makes people look foolish.
Using the words "chicken shit" has caused all this excitement? Who ARE you people?
1054. Mimi said:
Are you kidding me, Amy? I only get to kiss Chuck's ass? I'd give Chuck a rim job in a heart beat.
1055. Jamie said:
Death is terrifying for some people, but it is a fact for all of us. For some of us who have held our loved ones in our arms and watched them pass, it can be a beautiful and graceful thing.
In 1996 my 22 month old son Christopher died in my arms. He was born with several "issues" and so I was (somewhat)prepared that one day I would see my son leave this world.
Christopher had a repiratory disorder that was inoperable and after he turned 20 months old, he ended up getting pneumonia.This is what his doctors expected as his system was so compromised and could not handle anything like this. After a month in the PICU, his doctor said "Christopher needs to go home, to die in peace". Those were the most generous and loving words and I desperately needed to hear them.
I had Chrissy at home for a month after we left the hospital and each day I saw him get so weak and tired. The night before he passed away, I prayed that it was time, my poor baby had had enough. The next evening, as I was holding him I knew he was going. He was very dosed up on pain meds and hadn't really been very responsive to me. I whispered in his ear "it's OK baby, you can go to sleep now, mommy will be alright". He looked me straight in the eyes, and gently slipped away.
As I tell people this story, I always say that this was the most difficult experience but the most beautiful one as well. One thing I needed for him (and myself) was to be there with him, holding him and that he knew I was with him.
For me, I am forever grateful that it was peaceful and know that when it's time, death has it's place.
Jamie from Portland OR
1056. squandra said:
I have a problem with Mimi's reaction, and I don't think it has anything to do with "jumping on board" to defend Heather. I hope the families of the brave people featured in that photoset don't find their way to this web page, don't have to see final images of their loved ones referred to as "nauseating." Luckily those photographed are no longer around to witness it themselves.
What's more ... If you can't handle death, you're going to have a problem. It happens to everyone. It's part of life.
1057. Janie said:
I thought slodwick gave the perfect answer. After your warning, why did that person look--either at all or further than the first photo? Sadly, so few people today seem to be willing to take responsibility for their choices or actions. I think it would be a very different world if this weren't true.
I thought it was very interesting. Dead people don't bother me at all since I have lost so many...they are just people that someone used to love.
............
15. slodwick said:
Chicken shit would be me, actually. Based on Heather's description, I know better than to even click that link.
(Gosh - imagine what the internet would be like if people actually thought before following links, and then took responsibility for their own reactions? The mind positively boggles.)
1058. Swampechaun said:
I am chicken shit. I wish I hadn't looked. I have not matured enough to make any other comment than "death is creepy."
1059. Anonymous said:
I don't get it. I've never understood "strange" art. ???
1060. Stacy said:
Lovely essay. A very gentle and respectful exploration of the change that comes when the life has left a body. Thanks for sharing this.
1061. Laura said:
I found the photos peaceful and beautiful and maybe a bit sad. I'm glad I clicked on the link.
1062. Memphislis said:
I agree #235. I know someone named Mimi and she is a bitch.
1064. Darla said:
The photos were very moving, I found myself feeling very sad for these people who had not had a very full or happy life. We need to keep in mind art is meant to inspire strong feelings, no matter whether positive or negative. I always find your blog facinating and funny. Thanks Heather.
1065. Marissa said:
The pictures were beautiful and peaceful. Surprisingly they were helpful to me when I looked at them days after having to put our 5 month old puppy to sleep to cure him of his suffering from uncontrollable seizures. The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was explain this to my 7yr old and hold him while he wailed and sobbed about the unfairness of life and then watching him calm down so he could kiss the puppy good-bye and tell him how much we loved him.
Seeing the peace that death can bring to a painful illness helps soothe the pain of losing someone so loved.
1066. moongoddess said:
Being a photography buff, I love faces. I thought they were were interesting and beautiful. Seeing them makes one appreciate how precious the gift of life is, and sometimes, a relief and release in death.
1067. Anu said:
The lesson I took away from the images is to try and live my life today such that if death comes knocking tomorrow, I will be ready.
1068. Kristin said:
I think it has been said enough, but the before and after portraits depict the life cycle itself. Death is a part of life. Anyone uncomfortable with the pictures is obviously uncomfortable with death. I have been with every single one of my close family member when they have passed, no matter how bad it was. It was beautiful closure that I am grateful for. I may not have a professional photograph, but I have the memory of that moment and the peace that surrounded all of us the moment they took their last breath. It makes me feel connected to them on such a deeper level. Also, those who were in the room all grow closer having experienced it together.
Sorry to get long winded, but this is a touchy subject, death is as personal as life. If you can capture that so beautifully as the photographer has, I believe it should be shared with others.
As for the woman who blames you for her "diarrhea of the mouse" its not your fault she clicked the link. It said, PICTURES OF DEAD PEOPLE, in pretty simple terms....she knew what it was. People like that make me more squeamish than death.
1069. Kara said:
As difficult as they were for me to view, I am comforted by the fact that each of these people knew what was coming for them and had the time to make their peace with it in their own way. So many never see death coming and never have time to say goodbye or I love you.
These photographs remind me that life is short, tragic, and beautiful. The time to act is now.
Thanks, Heather.
(eerie word verification moment: obsolete(and) shake
1070. Carol said:
I thought the photos were beautiful. The people who seemed most bitter in life seemed very much at peace in the second. This is a journey that we all will make, eventually.
1071. Juls said:
"....a fear of death is no more than an uncertainty that one's life is not real."
Well said, Sheeply.
I was touched reading those captions, and I appreciate you posting the link, Heather.
1072. ...loveMaegan said:
although I am now feeling heavy and thoughtful after looking at the photos, I'm so happy I did.
That woman is clearly scared.
Thank you for the post. It's eye-opening and I may repost it.
either way, I'm going back to it right now to study it more!
1073. Anonymous said:
I think they are beautiful in their own haunting way. Death is as much a part of life as living.
1074. mindfully mothering two said:
Thank you for sharing this site. Death should be honored the same as birth, IMO. What an amazing project for that artist to undertake. I felt the pictures were peaceful. Just beautiful.
1075. Nicole said:
I went and kissed and hugged my children. It's just another reminder to live each day to the fullest. We never know when we will die.
1076. Anonymous said:
Thank you Dooce. These photos say to me, Carpe Diem!
1077. elf_fu said:
These photos are amazing.
They remind me that, even after life, beauty can still be found.
Those who are bitching about this the loudest are suffering from something most, if not all of us do--fear of death. People do some silly stuff when confronted with their fears. I don't think you're chicken shit, I think you're sharing something that should be.
1078. Josette said:
These were beautiful and I am glad that I was able to do the same thing for my Uncle.....
I sat with him for 3 months and watch him die....and I would never trade that experience for the world.
Thank you for sharing this...
Those other people eat their Mama's Toe Jam for breakfast...and they LIKE IT!
1079. Suze said:
Elaine is right, Mimi. You were snotty and demanding in your email to Heather. You intimated that she was a coward. And your follow-up responses have been nothing but more snottiness, minus a much-needed apology.
Next time you send someone an email, perhaps you'll take the time to carefully consider what you write. And edit and re-edit so that your point gets made without making it seem that you're an asshole.
Because, you know, that email might just be made public.