A list of sorts
1. Several people have written to express their frustration over the fee to get into SXSW to see my panel next week (I totally understand), so right now I'm trying to arrange a meet-up somewhere in downtown Austin, probably at a coffee shop, for Saturday morning (March 8th). Once I know the specific details I let you know the when and the where.
2. Coco pooped in the car yesterday. In the car. While we were driving.
3. I have a manuscript due in about a week. There's this quote I heard once, I don't remember who said it, but it was a writer, and when asked about her favorite part of writing a book she said something like, "When it was over." THOSE ARE THE TRUEST WORDS EVER UTTERED.
4. It's a little late in the month to address the masthead at the top of the page, but I feel I need to calm any lingering fears over whether or not Chuck is dead. He is not. He is alive and moody. The masthead was designed to celebrate the 7th birthday of this website, and that cursive font was a bad choice because some people thought it said ADIEU when in fact it says BODIED, and when set against Chuck's head it looked very much like a tombstone, or at least I was told so. Sorry for the confusion, I'll try harder next time to be clearer about my message. Also, yes, I know you're not supposed to give grapes to dogs, I promise he didn't eat any, although he wasn't interested in them anyway as they weren't made out of cow.
5. It's a tradition around here to open comments on the birthday of the website, so I thought I'd mix things up a bit this year and turn it into a contest. What should my March tagline be? Winner, as chosen by the official panel of judges (me), gets a $50 iTunes gift card.
Go.
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- Bedtime, Leta lingering defiantly in the hallway. Jon: "If you want fart stories, you better get in bed RIGHT NOW."
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
604. paul in kirkland said:
How about a picture of Chuck's poop with the caption "...Brings May Flowers"?
I love checking out out the comments not so much because of what's said but because of HOW FRIGGIN' MANY COMMENTS YOU GET.
I hope you realize how out of the ordinary it is to get that much commentary. You must be one of the most read sites on all of the internets.
605. re:patrick said:
Delurking as well to say I LOVE DOOCE. Y'all are awesome.
Though February's masthead was great. And since the daily Chuck pics keep coming, I'm not too concerned of his imminent demise. :)
As for the masthead, throw a little love to the leprechauns with something like "Dooce: Magically Delicious." I dunno, but March hosts my favorite holiday and Chuck (or Leta) in leprechaun get-up would be fab.
606. RareNYCBorn said:
"Now with 100% Less Mormon"
"Less Mormon Goodness, More Dooce Taste"
607. kim said:
Here is one.... March.
I'm not much for the right side of my brain, sorry.
We got a puppy this xmas too and she pooped, not once but TWICE in my car. while driving.
608. Kimberly said:
Oops, someone stole mine...hey how about.."My thoughts are no longer my own"
609. Jen said:
[photo of Coco]
"Piloting the crap mobile since 2001"
610. Cassandra said:
Dooce "What else should you read on company time?"
or
"Important enough to read during company time"
611. frank said:
March:
In like a lion and out like a poop-smeared carpet.
612. Stephanie said:
Dooce: open comments (for a limited time only)
613. Heather said:
"Where poop reigns supreme."
614. weenit said:
Dooce: "Pooing strong since 2001"
And here is one for Coco...
Coco: "She's everywhere you don't want to be."
615. Anonymous said:
How about
"In like a Lion and out like a Lamb" but put a pic of Chuck on the left side made up like a lion (I think you did that once) and on the right side, have Chuck dressed up like a lamb.
616. Anonymous said:
Managing motherhood one nervous breakdown at a time.
(I'm a mom of two boys under 3 (who, today, threw a plate full of chopped up angel hair pasta on the dog) so it's funny to me!)
617. adm said:
in like a puppy and out like a geriatric
618. Gary said:
Dooce: all this and a bag of poo!
619. Anonymous said:
How do you read 600+ comments?
How.
HOW.
620. Abby said:
"Public Displays of Incompetence"
Not that I feel that way about you necessarily, but I once used it as the title of a blog entry (to describe myself), and it made me chuckle.
621. Emily said:
Dooce: "Vacationed with the family...and lived to tell about it."
622. Tracy said:
"Deadlines amuse me."
Congrats on seven years.
623. Dayna said:
I know we don't get to vote but I'm all for #53s "Princesses, Prozac & Poop."
I also like #302s suggestion of "A Dooce a day keeps the doctor away." Around here we use the phrase "taking a deuce" so you kinda get your poop metaphor in there too.
624. Cassie said:
My suggestions:
Sometimes life *is* just about the T&A.
625. Jennine said:
Dooce- Dances With Decendants of Wolves
626. James | Double Danger said:
Dooce, you know like the poop... but cooler.
627. Jeff said:
Hmmm...can I suggest two?
It Could be Worse...I'm Still Taking my Meds
F'n Groundhog and his Stupid Shadow
629. Hilary said:
Didn't read them all. Didn't have to. Jordan's is unbeatable. :) Very clever.
630. Julie said:
Dooce: Dogs "Outside... OUTSIDE!" Crapping Everywhere
631. Tiki said:
How about "Dooce: It's hard out here for a pimp". :)
633. Tiki said:
How about "Dooce: It's hard out here for a pimp". :)
634. Melly said:
Forgive the potential redundancy (of course I didn't read the gazillion preceding comments), but given the hoards of readers you have, clearly you're a celebrity—give or take an occasional negative review. From my small, sheltered view of the world, I see you as having a seat of authority. I'm willing to be that you could permanently have a mast head that reads "I've Got the Power!" and an audio loop (sans controls) screaming "I've Got the Power!" (because having no control of someone's annoying audio blaring as you can't close their blog window fast enough, happens to be my least favorite experience—next to picking up warm, smelly dog poop for the second time with the same bag) and you'd still have a gazillion and one readers!
635. Megan said:
You know, Chuck really does look like a llama. Even without taking a shower. I'm really just saying that-not meaning to be part of your contest. He can just really look like a llama and I wanted you to know.
636. Paula said:
The official state cooking pot of Utah is the Dutch oven. Perhaps "Time for Some Home Cooking" with Coco in the pot.
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/usa/states/utah/
637. megan said:
i just like the fact that tiki had to say that 3 times
638. Mandy L said:
In thinking about the theme of March and the traditional saying about each of the months and the funny pictures of Coco hanging off Chuck's neck:
"In like a lion....attached to your neck"
639. Sarah said:
Dooce: Fulfilling all your canine excrement needs.
640. Anonymous said:
Dooce: because art expresses human experience.
641. Rosemary said:
"Now with 76% More Poo"
"Dooce new, improved, and covered in a lovely shade of poo"
"Filled with Love, Dipped in Crazy, and Smothered in Poo"
You have got to include some poopy colored paw prints in your new masthead, totally required.
642. Amanda Fender said:
"In like a lion, out like a lamb with a smaller lamb attached to its neck."
i liked the juxtaposition of item 1 and item 2.
ps. if coco is really bad you can always get caesar milan to come to your house and make her the most perfect dog ever. that man is my god.
643. Tomorrowstand said:
"Wasting your time for another seven years - and lovin' it"
"This site will get you fired. Believe me, I know."
644. Chookooloonks said:
Okay, take two, again from your archives:
"All covered with tears and snot"
or
"VERRRR SNOOOOING TOOOOOS GROOOOOSSSSMEEEEEES HOOOOOSSSSSSS???"
*sigh* I'll keep thinking.
645. Ferris said:
This just in:
"Depression. The new black."
"I wanted a mission. I needed a mission. And for my sins, they gave me one."
"Keeping the poop and shit together since 2001."
That's it.
646. sarah said:
This is almost too gross to type, but only almost...
Two Dogs, One Cup.
647. sarabeth said:
Dooce: Step in it.
648. Christine said:
March...in like a lion, out like a lamb. Easy and simple.
649. suzy said:
Holy Poop
~Amen
650. Suzy said:
And I Could've been a cat lady...
651. Rob said:
Winter Puppy Chasing in the Nude
652. Andria said:
I think you should put Coco on the masthead with "99 problems and a bitch ain't one".
653. Lisa's Chaos said:
Well, I can't put my finger on it but it needs to have sluice, sluicing, etc in it.
Maybe: Sluicing into your life - Sluice on you - Standing at the Sluice Gate - whatever, w/ photo of Coco
654. Christy said:
March
Allergies to EVERYTHING Included
(I live in Austin... we're all allergic year round, I swear... and since you're gonna be here, I figured... ya' know...)
Enjoy the cedar...
655. sarabeth said:
March Madness.
656. Marlo said:
"Thawing on the outside."
657. Cate said:
"eau de Coco - and it ain't that Chanel stuff"
658. The Psycho ExWife said:
Now with more poop.
Simple, effective.
659. Harley said:
At least Coco did not poop on you in the car. We were rescuing 7 pups once, and they were all over the car. On was climbing up my arm and peed and pooped at the same time on my tshirt sleeve. We tossed the shirt and I rode the next 2 hours without a shirt, hoping the dogs would not poop on me again. What would I take off?
My wife's car has never smelled the same since.
660. Tiki said:
Well, Megan. It IS really hard! And.... I'm a dumbass.
661. Erica Z said:
"can you smell me?"
662. Rebecca said:
I am saddened and disturbed that 90% of the lines have included poop or poop-related items! (not really)
How about:
Only one in dog years
or
March-ing to the beat of my own drum
663. Kelly said:
It takes pure talent to poop in a moving car!
664. Rosemary said:
Hi, just have to tweak the one I already submitted
"Filled with Love, Dipped in Crazy, and NOW Smothered in Poo"
It's just better with the now. I also really like an early suggestion about teen princess pregnancy.
665. Harley said:
"More bite than a puppy."
666. Susan said:
"I can eat a donut all the way to hole."
Courtesy of my 6 year old son, Alex.
Either that, or #37's post. I totally agree that "it sucked and then I cried. the end." is the most perfect thing you've ever said. I've been there twice.
667. Roberto Boone said:
"Not the brightest CROWN in the box"
"As smart as bait"
"Don't have all my dogs on a leash"
"Shit smells good!"
668. sheryl said:
tagline ideas:
C H U C K L I V E S
Or
THE JUNIOR SENATOR IS A REAL BITCH
Yes she can & Yes she will
(with a picture of Coco)
----
(Had to laugh at the verification code: Throat Folly)
669. Lauren said:
Trust [the last seven years in a nutshell?]
670. Gretchen White said:
"Central Utah's Most Accurate and Dependable Meteorologist"
671. Krissa said:
March...Not just for kites....
672. Rachel said:
"Professional Pooper Scooper (in every sense of the word)"
OR
"Thou shalt not make on my rug"
673. Fatemeh said:
Dooce: Inventing Interweb Celebrity
674. Becky said:
Poop, Puppies and Prozac..what more could a girl ask for?
675. Amy (aka Buttons McTavish) said:
I vote for
"Inthenameofjesuschristamen"
Haa! I don't know who suggested it first....but it made me laugh.
xo amy
676. James said:
"Like a chocolate man eating a fudgesicle"
677. Muffin? said:
"I'm awesome."
678. Lori said:
"Comes in like a miniature Australian Shepherd, goes out like a lamb."
679. Lauren said:
Legs for days. Lots and lots of sunless days.
680. Kat said:
How about, Creating vivid memories for over 7 years.
681. Jeni said:
I love no 302's "Dooce bit me . . . and it's still hurting."
682. Alison said:
I'm too lazy to look it up right now, but isn't March the "in like a lion, out like a lamb" month? If so, I think your masthead should be "In like Coco, out like Chuck." You know, because of all the stories you tell us about Coco and Chuck and their respective personalities. I understand if you don't pick me. :)
683. Becky said:
Dooce: Running naked after dogs in your backyard!
Coco..like Chanel only smellier!
684. Kaydee said:
Dooce: We Step In Our Own Poop
685. Angela said:
Dooce.com: Doing It Better Since 2001
686. cranky kat said:
"i only look like i know what i'm doing"
and/or
"a beauty AND a beast"
687. Jeni said:
"Not the brightest CROWN in the box" That one is great, too!
688. Christina said:
Still working on the backlog.
689. Michele said:
Shit, I can't think. I'm just blown away by the amount of comments!
690. Tay said:
Dooce: killing you softly since 2001
Dooce: living a life worth medicating
Dooce: daily salvation since 2001
thanks for all you do and writing about it so well. i send your link to all the mothers of young children i know. and dog lovers. and depressed women.
keeping doing it for at least another 7 years, please.
691. Tess said:
Tagline #1: Poop du jour
Tagline #2: It's never too late to have a happy childhood
692. nnjagurl said:
Masthead idea: little brown pawprints...with the heading "Leaving a lovely little trail of poopy love"
:)
693. Irene said:
"Dooce: There Will Be Poop"
694. Jessica said:
"674,843,022 comments, and still counting"
Good grief. Seriously though, I have to vote for #13!
695. Amy (aka Buttons McTavish) said:
Sorry for a second suggestion, but was just inspired..and hope it hasn't already been tasted:
Dooce: "Tastes better from a Vintage Decanter, Trust Me."
696. LaurenB said:
-Be a Friend.
-Yes, but, I go to eleven.
697. Jac said:
Up to my ears in snow and puppy poo
698. Jessica Chastain said:
Luck...It can happen, right?
will that work?? LOL! well. I like it anyway.
699. Lori said:
In reference to Easter and Chuck's "untimely death":
"Chuck is risen."
And then have a luminous halo behind Chuck's head. And Coco dressed as Mary Magdaline. Okay, I took it too far.
700. Lana Lankevich said:
"Prozac and Poop since ages ago"
701. Christie said:
Good looking, even without the beer goggles on
702. Aisha said:
I officially feel very not funny.
Does Coco want to drive you and Jon nuts, or is that just going to be a side effect in her plans of world domination through crapping everywhere? (I like to pretend stupid crap animals pull is actually some very complicated plot that doesn't entirely hinge on my suffering. It keeps me from getting pissed at my turtle when she decides to make a complete and total mess of her habitat thinger.)
703. kittyjimjams said:
1. I have no masthead tagline for you
2. Holy fuck, 700 comments
3. Your music recommendations are alway STERLING. Thank you. *does the hallucinations*
704. Irene said:
Oh, one more Oscar-themed one:
"La vie en merde"
705. aaryn b. said:
Happy Birthday, website.
Next tagline...
Car pooping: All the cool dogs are doin' it.
706. Slonik said:
This is the oldest I have ever been.
707. naima said:
DUH!!! i need to breakout the white out:
MARCH of the ARMSTRONG's: survival through a long 'shitty' winter.
(sorry for playing it old school & referring to you as a hamilton)
708. bettyc said:
"It's so not about the poop"
709. Sabrina C. said:
So highbrow, it's forehead.
709. Dave said:
My idea for masthead -
Dooce: 'Pills, Poop, Princesses, and PRIDE!'
710. David Vogt said:
"Not made out of beef"
I know a dog (a lab of course) that will eat anything so long as you spit it at her. My favorite was concord grapes off the vine out back.
711. joanna said:
perhaps 2001 to present
might achieve the desired goal.
712. Pete Lippincott said:
Cat pee!!? Where? Not here...
713. pepper said:
dooce: in better shape than britney
714. Carrie said:
Dooce: The dog's not dead.
715. babbling said:
March Madness- tastes better with a side of Prozac.
in honor of Jon and his new journey.
716. Charles G. said:
Furry in all the right places.
717. Anonymous said:
The Home of Quality Housebreaking since 2001.
718. hautepocket said:
"To Dooce or not to Dooce?" As if that's even a question.
719. Ann said:
Dooce: picking out the wedgies of life
720. Anonymous said:
Raising the level of sarcasm for the betterment of mankind.
721. Bonnie said:
"Cockoo for Coco Poops"
722. Fazia Rizvi said:
Given everything you've been through recently, and the "windy" nature of March, what about:
"Winded"
or indeed,
"Pooped".
723. Dianna said:
Chuckles 2008: for a Less Fucked-Up America
724. hautepocket said:
"To Dooce or not to Dooce?" As if that's even a question..
725. Anonymous said:
"In closing, PISS OFF!"
Cuz if I had to re-design a masthead, that is what mine would read, but I don't so I think you should use it.
726. Julie said:
"Dooce is your new bicycle."
I know, it's so last week, but what the hell.
727. e.k. said:
"the cheese stands alone"
728. Jessica said:
How about Dooce: Offending everyone since 2001
or
Dooce: Proudly serving humor since 2001
And I really like #13
729. kym b said:
what a BYU English degree gets you
730. Paul Thomas said:
How about: LMFAO! OR "To boldly go where no dog has gone before"
731. genki said:
How about:
Dooce Ex Machina
732. leesavee said:
Dooce: Completely Craptacular
733. Will D said:
My son and I are actually in Utah at this moment in Salt Lake near the Unversity all set to go ski at Park City this weekend. Driving through town from Gateway Mall area on S Temple street wondering if any of the houses I passed were your's..
I did not see a woman kick dog poop out of her car....
I had no Chuck siting and so I carry on...
BD
734. whitney said:
March taglines for your viewing pleasure.
p.s. I love the blog, thanks for making laugh when I have a bad day.
"Dooce: No seriously, I get paid to do this."
"This tag line is worth $50"
xo
735. Lisa said:
Online tub marination.
736. e.k. said:
"making your tongue numb since 2001"
737. Vern said:
I think "RU N LDS H8R 2?" has a nice ring to it.
738. Mercutia, Shieldmaiden And Sometime Girl Pirate said:
"Come See The World's Mopiest Cat-Deer And His Amazing Pooping Sidekick".
739. asbwireless said:
March- Smells like Coco the shit machine
740. whitney said:
one more..
"A little madness in the spring is wholesome even for the king"
-Emily Dickinson
741. Dianne said:
[Perhaps the quote you're thinking of is "I hate writing, but I love having written." ~Dorothy Parker ... ? ... so, so, so, so true.]
742. THE Kelly W said:
In my next life, I want to be Dooce.
743. ritsgirl said:
I have three dogs and two boys. Not a day goes by where I don't have some sort of poop incident.
Dooce: Crate trained, housebroken and I walk well on a leash
744. Stephanie said:
to steal a catchphrase:
Dooce: I'm kind of a big deal around here.
745. impy said:
Poop- it's how we roll
746. Emily said:
"Tested positive for sarcasm"
"Pillows and Dooce life's accessories"
"As stepped in and smeared over 7 years"
"Doesn't play well with others"
747. Katie said:
Barack Obama Has a Balloon for You
...shamelessly stolen from barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com
Good stuff!
748. tammi_jo said:
we're up for a challenge, obviously.
749. Stephanie said:
or how about:
Dooce: making pithy masthead-writing look easier than it actually is
750. Anonymous said:
Beating the March Hare at his Own Game
751. Krissa said:
dooce: a veritable maelstorm of doom and bourbon
752. Susan said:
Just posting because you only have 743 comments and you really need AT LEAST 744! I mean, 743, how lame is that? Love your blog Dooce, thank you.
753. jenny said:
dooce: too legit to quit.
754. Holy Schmidt! said:
"The most wiener for your poopie!"
"Can you see my Lucky Charms?"
"The idiot of March" Play on words for The Ides of March...
I suck at this, but I'm glad to see everyone here playing nicely together!
755. z.hendirez said:
Dooce: Now with 40 percent more dog!
756. Shalini said:
Here is one for the March mast "March Smarch"
(that is SOOOOO from the simpsons, but isn't copyrighted)
I wish I was in Austin to see your panel, do you think you may come out to Alice Springs, Australia any time soon? :)
757. Krissa said:
#751 - That should have been STYLE! Dooce: a veritable maelstorm of STYLE and bourbon! I was originally going for style and doom and then I decided bourbon was basically the same as doom. But yummier.
758. Austin said:
"We Chase Snakes"
in honor of ol' St. Patrick
coupled with an image of the dogs i think it would change the world
759. Kristin said:
How about a nod to the White Stripes: "I think we're going to be friends" with Coco and Chuck holding paws gazing into a bacon-filled sunset. I'm sure you can create a Photoshop brush for that. And then (bonus!) you'd have a bacon-themed Photoshop brush into the deal.
760. dre said:
Dooce: At least one of us is regular, even in the car!
I'm not feeling particularly creative right now... Happy Anniversary Dooce - keep on truckin'! xoxo
761. Erika said:
Taking others' shit one step at a time.
762. RachelMeRee said:
"peppered with poopy polka dots"
763. kayli said:
how bout my favorite line ever from leta (a few months back):
"you guys are my friends"
764. Lori said:
Dooce: Nothing but the straight shit
Dooce: Hot Shit in the City
Dooce: A Public Display of Incontinence
Dooce: Like a fly on shit
Dooce: Doing it doggie-style since 2002
765. Tootsie Farklepants said:
Over 700 comments? Seriously? Well, if you ever live through reading all of that, here's mine:
"Shunning douche in an otherwise Massengill feminine wash world"
766. Anonymous said:
Leta, bring me the cornmeal!
767. Melanie said:
How about this...
"Get your own helping of Nutburger, this one's all mine."
Ha!
768. Nancy said:
Dooce: Frustration, poop. and one less nap.
769. blanca estela said:
i should sell tickets to this spectacle.
770. Ehme said:
Poop is the new black.
771. Chuck said:
"Only True Friends Can Poop In My Car"
772. lolliloo said:
#62....Seven Year Bitch
773. Amber Hill said:
This is what my husband always says to me:
"What is that dooce website with that lady you like so much?"
774. Jenn said:
"pooping in the car daily"
or
"poopy paw polka dots not welcome"
775. Kriss said:
"Full of Piss and Vinegar"
With a picture of urine-soaked Coco on the "piss" side;
and a picture of Chuck looking moody on the "vinegar" side.
776. sleepingKelly said:
"Awesome like Hasselhoff"
777. lisa said:
$50 poorer
778. Michelle said:
DAMN GINA!
779. Miss Peas said:
"Of Princesses & Nutburgers"
780. Erica aka littlefirecrackr said:
Dooce: Valedictorian of Everything
Dooce: on meds because of YOU!!!!!!! (don't forget the unnecessary EXCLIMATION POINTS!!!!
BLOG: This IS my job
Dooce: It's what I do for fun
Dooce: living life to it's fullest (its full...go away)
781. oldladymac said:
Dooce - Now with more fur
Sorry if someone already suggested this but I CANNOT READ 777 COMMENTS.
782. Michelle said:
Cucu for Coco
783. A.m.Kelly said:
CAPS LOCK IS THE BUTTON FOR SERIOUS PEOPLE.
784. Moda di Magno said:
Dooce: Amused by your angry comments since 2001
785. Mike said:
Tagline Suggestions:
1. You had me at Ctrl-Alt-Delete
2. I used to be sane. I got better.
3. Hot Pocket
4. The grass is greener on this side
5. Life is a poop nugget
786. Val Cox said:
I don't have a new one to add, but I sure enjoyed reading some of the clever ones written by your readers. You'll have plenty to select from!
787. Gaylo said:
Happy Birthday! Love the site!
How 'bout "MARCH BLOWS..."
788. Kristin said:
What kind of hotel is this?
789. mixette said:
When I moved last year, the dog got anxious and chewed a hole in the "baking stuff" box and consumed an entire box of Scharfenburger Cocoa Nibs (no relation) and most of a container of cocoa powder. On the way to the emergency vet he both pooped and threw up in the back of the station wagon. Despite scrubbing, and scrubbing, and scrubbing, on a hot day I still get the occasional whiff of brownies.
Can't wait for your Austin visit. You may need something bigger than a coffee house. Plus, it is 75 degrees and sunny here! Perhaps outside for your meetup...
790. phancynancy said:
"Less boob, more poop"
791. Carrie said:
I suppose you can't say "Thank God February is finally fucking over" but that would be my choice for the March masthead.
792. Justin said:
"I'll take the rack of lamb"
793. esmith said:
In Memory of Dame Micro Turdlet...
I say go with the whole "is your dog dead?" theme. And really, is there anything funnier than calling one's dog "Dame"? And I mean without really believing it? Because those people give me the willies.
794. Matt said:
Wow. This is quite a response! From the looks of it, I'd have to nominate "Worth Every Bit of $50."
795. Tiffany said:
March 2008
"Marinating You in the Bathtub for 7 Years"
796. Jaxon said:
I tried to read all the comments but finally all the poop talk was making me a little sick to my stomach.
But-----------------
I vote for Jordan #13's comment. The best, even if I didn't read all of them.
797. MJ said:
Basically, I dominated March 2001 - March 2008.
(or whatever year it was your website began?)
798. Stef said:
My two cents:
"All the poop that's fit to publish."
799. Roberto said:
Uh-huh. Alright. Yeah.
800. Laura said:
I'm so excited that I might get to meet you in Austin! I think someone else suggested coffee shops also, but one great Austin original (centrally located) is Mozarts on Lake Austin Blvd. I bought your book (it's back ordered) and I can't wait to get it in the mail!
801. Melissa N. said:
Viva Prozac
802. Hamlesswonder said:
America's Next Top Chuck
803. Tracy said:
I'm feeling your pain on the poop...my 15-year-old cat has taken to leaving presents for me in all kinds of fun, new places, including my kitchen rug and on top of some fabric for a kid's costume we're working on. (My husband and I won't be able to look at the kid now without thinking "shithead".)
Masthead thoughts:
Don't F*ck With Me or I'll Snap
Droppin' It Like It's Hot Since '01
Is It Spring Yet?
Domesticity Never Looked This Good
804. Stacy said:
"Scary weird fun."
805. Linda said:
Dooce: Bacon wrapped for your pleasure.
806. Rox said:
I'm voting for the tagline from your recent shot of Chuck and Coco: a fluid painting of contrasts.
807. Linda said:
I also loved The Audacity of Poop, from way back when.
808. Lydia said:
I'm not your bitch, bitch.M
809. sarah said:
Ok, here's a few tagline ideas:
Dooce: March into spring sidestep poop
Dooce: Insanity Rocks
Dooce: Out of the Darkness
Dooce: Of Poop and Pills
810. Jenn said:
"They haven't got Brains, any of them, only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think." -Eeyore (from Winnie the Pooh).
A picture of Chuck looking on as you and Blurbo play with Coco or admire her with Leta sitting at your feet playing with her princesses. Hehehehehehehehehe!
811. Lauren said:
Apologies if this has already been suggested (800 comments?!!?!) but, because I have a raging potty mouth, I'm going to run with the poo theme:
Dooce: Magically Shitlicious
Dooce: Where the shit goes down...up, and everywhere.
Or, finally:
Dooce: Home of the Pretty Pretty Printcess (with a picture of Coco in a tiara and some shitty paw prints).
812. Kevin said:
Pulling the wings off sanity
813. Kevin said:
sanitizing brilliance with a fine mist of mediocrity
814. Rox said:
One more: My sensible West-by-God-Virginian grandma always used to tell us "Wish in one hand, poop in the other, and see which one gets filled up first."
815. meghan said:
Poop.
That is all.
816. Erika said:
Dooce: Where you're not allowed to eat Chuck!
817. Judy said:
A picture of Coco chewing on Chuck's throat with...
Dooce:Where necking your brother is acceptable!
818. K--Dawg said:
insanity with a fine veneer of insouciance
819. Tracie said:
Don't Leta your Coco Chuck Up....
cheers. Dooce and blurbomat get me through.
820. Gina said:
How about, "Damn, Gina!"
A) Because it's my name
and
B) Because it says so much in so few words.
821. Hilary said:
"March: it's just not fair."
822. Amy said:
Dooce: Bloghood of the Travelin' Poop
or
Dooce: At least SOMEBODY'S bowels are moving.
823. CJM said:
I don't have a recommendation of my own but I did love Jordan's:
"Ignoring your unsolicited advice since 2001"
I am going to use that line on the Mother-In-Law.Only I've been ignoring her since 1993. She still doesn't get it.
824. Allison said:
in like a lion and out like dooce
825. anginak said:
Pic of Coco and 'What's the poop?' or 'Here's the poop.'
or
Coco's the poo.... so take a big whiff.
826. Lauren said:
OK, this is terrible of me but here's another:
Dooce: Not as crazy as Britney.
827. Southern Yankee said:
"You can wipe it off, but the aroma still lingers..."
828. Erika said:
Either "Taking a break from Poop Patrol" or "March Madness" or "Dooce: March Madness & Mumblings"
829. Darleen said:
I'm Cuckoo for Coco Furrocious
830. Nancy King said:
Two-dog-toddler-crazy- sahm
Now, get me a bourbon
831. Michaela said:
Dooce: Flirting with the edge of sanity since 2001.
(and maybe a picture of chuck with a birthday hat tipped off to the side of his head, like a crazy man...)
Happy 7th!!!
832. Aron said:
Coco Go Bragh (means Coco Forever)
833. JA said:
March tag line...
"Dooce.com: nothing but the straight poop" (use of Coco imagery in some manner or fashion in the masthead).
Thank you.
834. Miranda said:
Here's a tag line, hope I'm not repeating anyone else:
Dooce: Some of us have more trouble pooping than others.
835. Lisa said:
Hey! Love your site......Read it daily.
You could do a version of the March of the Penguins with Coco and have chuck somewhat under her(like her little baby) since she is so into him! Ane the fact that she is black and white really lends itself to the Penguin theme.
Or
"March Madness? with a play on the basketball theme.......you could have poop(pieces of chocolate/coco) as the basketballs.
836. David said:
"Haters Can Go Fly a Kite" Because isn't March the best month for flying kites? I seem to recall from my childhood.
837. Lisa said:
How about "Coco Poops--Not Just for Breakfast Anymore"
838. Jill S. said:
I'm a writer too, with my own deadline next week, and my favorite part of my job is typing in THE END.
839. Lisa said:
Just one more: Since 2001: A Poop Odyssey
Works on a number of levels, don't you think?
840. Wynema said:
"I used to care, but now I take a pill for that"...I actually have that saying in my cubicle at work.
841. dana said:
Valedictorian of Malodorous Puppy Poo
842. thatcoolbroad said:
crap happy
843. Marcvs said:
Et tu, Dooce?
844. Lauren said:
On the theme of organ transplants:
Dooce: I'll give you my colon if you'll give me yours.
(featuring you and Coco, of course.)
845. cathleen said:
well i was wondering... if you got the email i had sent you about a year ago, did you get it?
there was no response. lol
congrats on your new book. i will buy it in hardback.
cathleen
ps leta is to cute.
846. jupee said:
What's Love Got to Do With Chuck
847. Fred said:
"Brought to you by America's Pharmaceutical Corporations"
848. Alexis said:
"Happy Fucking March"
849. Michelle said:
I admit I didn't read the others, so maybe someone already came up with this one:
Put da lime in da Coconut and shake it all up. (With the lovely Coco taking center stage and thinly disguised bottles of Corona with limes in the tops on each side of her royal poopiness.)
850. Hoosier Hippo said:
Heather. I've never commented before, but feel a weird cosmic connection. I'm a copywriter who works in advertising. I've been a fan of hippos since I was a kid. (It's true.) And I often turn to you for advice on cool music and art (thus my recent purchases of Radiohead's album and a print by Eleanor Grosch). That makes you my Honorary Pop Culture Life Coach.
851. katie said:
March: The End of Poopsicles
852. Jason said:
How about: "Marinated in the tub"
Say, aren't you overdue for a hate-mail post?
853. funkfugiyama said:
Please enjoy this creativity out of my pea sized brain for the March tagline.
March-ing to the beat of a different drummer.
Drug induced realism enabled.
Fact snorting goodness
2 dogs, 3 kids, no adults needed.
That's D.O.O.C.E. Dooce. Beeyotch!
It's all true. Except for the part about it being true.
I ate my vegetables when I was a kid and this is what it got me.
LOOK! More white folks on the internet.
Daring, darling, dangerous
books are for nerds. Read my blog.
If it weren't for bad luck we'd have no luck at all.
854. clark said:
Great. I won the contest and can't use the iTunes.
855. Lolabirdsong said:
Dooce:
Stop. No. Don't touch that.
Not even if you wash your hands.
856. Anonymous said:
How about: "Lion my ass"
857. Katie said:
I really wanted that iTunes giftcard because I am a poor college student. BUT, for once I will be selfless and agree with the masses that #13 is in fact the best (or at least the best out of the first 50 which was as far as a read because did I mention that I'm a college student? That means I'm lazy, too.)
Dooce: Ignoring your unsolicited advice since 2001
Do it.
PS - or it could be like the phrase I have to type to verify that I am in fact a real person, which is "Garage stories" -- I quite like the ring of that.
858. lisa said:
Ok here goes:
a picture of chuck and coco that say's
"you like me, you really,really like me... and coco would have her paw on chuck......
859. Tina said:
Dooce: Surviving one poopy paw at at time.
860. Summer said:
tastes great less filling !!!!
love your blog
861. Robbin said:
Picture this: leprechaun on one side, pot of gold on the other, and arched in super sparkly letters is a rainbow, reading, ""Fuck me, I'm Mormon!"
I would also totally vote for "BYOSSRI." For obvious reasons.
862. Katie said:
Dooce- Putting the "fun" in dysfunctional
863. bee said:
I don't have a good tagline for you, but I am curious as to why dogs are not supposed to eat grapes. I give mine grapes all the time so if I'm killing them slowly by accident, I think I should probably know.
Grapes? Or no grapes?
864. Stacy said:
Man! I was just listening to that track by The Raveonettes in your previous post. They sound kind of like The Pixies, who I LOVE...I'm going to havr to check out more of their music. Thanks!
865. Margaret said:
1. YEEAW! YEEAW! YEEAW!
2. ...
3. PROFIT!
or
from YEEHAW! to YEEAW! [in one easy step]
or one of these (you gotta love googlism):
•chuck is president en voornaamste consultant bij starling access services
•chuck is an incredible musician with a unique approach that we have absolutely loved here at mile hi church
•chuck is a good guy and he isn't into beastiality either
•chuck is not just nervous but downright terrified of everything from cats to pigeons to stuffed animals to paper bags
•chuck is going to save the universe
•coco is my bitch
•coco is the oldest professional hockey mascot in the world
•coco is theoretically a cafe by day and a bar by night
•coco is the first asian singer to actually break into the pop
866. yammy said:
How's this for Coco: "She would eat a baby's butt through a park bench."
867. Rachel said:
Dooce: If lovin' you is wrong, then I don't wanna be right
868. K_St said:
How about "dooce is brought to you by the letter "c" (prominent photo of Chuck) and the number "2"(prominent photo of coco,or,ERM, her furrocious posterior)
Or, alternately the letter"p" and some nice stylized floating Prozac capsules.
869. Stephanie said:
coo coo from the coco puff
870. lisa krowinski said:
“Pimpin' Ain't Easyâ€
871. jennchez said:
"The Place Crazy Calls Home".
872. kalen said:
some people's taglines for this website are ridiculously shitty attempts at being witty and i wonder if they know
----
that is my comment and entry simultaneously.
:D
873. Anonymous said:
Coco! Don't you know your body is a temple?
Dooce: Will scoop for food.
Dooce: Still smellin' after all these years
874. HMFT said:
Good God...#873.
How in the HELL do you keep up?
875. Maureen said:
I really should be packing for my long car trip that starts at TOO EARLY O'CLOCK tomorrow. Thank you for being my distraction for that.
I can't read all 867 comments to see if someone already thought of this, but I'm thinking... a close up of Coco's nose. Wide angle. with the tagline "Do I smell poop?" or "Ummmmmm Dude, did you poop?"
876. Karen said:
Yo, Dooce--- happy nubbin anni!
I read lots of the comments, and your readers are fucking hilare... I don't have anything to add, but would cast my vote for (can't remember the #)
Coco Chanel No. 2
877. kalle said:
def Jordan's #13 comment...perfect!
878. cakebaker said:
hmm. i hope i'm not repeating anyone, because i can't read through 900 comments, but what about: alive and moody.
happy anniversary!
879. annelise said:
kicking so much ass.
880. Bex said:
"Contains caffeine and traces of nuts. Do not refrigerate."
I thought of that while on the toilet. How apt.
881. Long Story Longer said:
Yay! Happy anniversary. Thanks for being the first website I check everyday.
882. stormy said:
March! Green and windy as hell.
or
Pinch my ass. It's March.
or....
March. The only good excuse for green vomit.
883. Jennifer Lowry said:
"This month even the bourbon will be green"
884. stormy said:
Oh I have one more...
Pictures of both dogs, all green....
The REAL Ides of March.
885. LeFiffre said:
La Vida Loca
886. michelle said:
"C(squared) + L = love and poop
887. Caren said:
"Permanently attached at the neck."
Of course, a reference to your photos of Coco going for the jugular on Chuck!
888. Kim said:
Coco wearing some bunny ears
"Little Bunny Poo-Poo"
889. Catherine said:
How about a Scratch and Sniff theme?
(I wonder how many would try to scratch and sniff it?! If only we could have cameras on at all times...)
As for an Austin meetup, I'm so there. There's a nice coffee shop called Halcyon on 4th and Colorado... not sure how many you would need to accommodate for, but it's a nice scene.
890. deb m said:
some of my favorites:
High Fat, Low Fiber
A Legend in my Own Mind
I'm Not As Funny As I Think I Am
though i still love the phrase "Stretchy Mahkittydog".
891. Mercutio said:
"Your call is important to me. Please continue to hold."
892. Denise said:
"Got poop!" (NOT with a question mark)
"TOTALLY DRAMATIC MOMENT, PAY ATTENTION"
"Bacon: the candy bar of meats."
"Are we here to play princesses?"
893. shannon said:
"Dooce... Now with 20% more Poop Envy!"
but I also really like Now is the Winter of Our Incontinence, whomever said that up above.
894. Cindy D. said:
"Poopalicious"
895. Matt Mroz said:
"Blogging for humanity's approval"
"Cut loose like a dooce another runner in the night"
or just
"cut loose like a dooce"
896. Polly said:
dooce: lick it, scratch it, bite it
897. mark said:
"Putting the Pro in Prozac"
898. Anonymous said:
I like Jordan's suggestion, too
899. Lizzie said:
"At least it took me 7 years to sell out."
;)
900. Paula said:
Tagline:
She's. Looking. At. Me. Again.
OR
Too much sun may cause tumors. (with picture of Coco hanging off of Chuck's neck)
901. JS said:
"Following the poopy paw prints of life"
902. Amy said:
Dooce: Dames & Dingleberries
903. Maureen said:
Dooce: No Poopin' in the Car until 2008
904. Anonymous said:
Dooce: so bourgeois