A list of sorts
Friday, February 29 2008
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1268 comments
1. Several people have written to express their frustration over the fee to get into SXSW to see my panel next week (I totally understand), so right now I'm trying to arrange a meet-up somewhere in downtown Austin, probably at a coffee shop, for Saturday morning (March 8th). Once I know the specific details I let you know the when and the where.
2. Coco pooped in the car yesterday. In the car. While we were driving.
3. I have a manuscript due in about a week. There's this quote I heard once, I don't remember who said it, but it was a writer, and when asked about her favorite part of writing a book she said something like, "When it was over." THOSE ARE THE TRUEST WORDS EVER UTTERED.
4. It's a little late in the month to address the masthead at the top of the page, but I feel I need to calm any lingering fears over whether or not Chuck is dead. He is not. He is alive and moody. The masthead was designed to celebrate the 7th birthday of this website, and that cursive font was a bad choice because some people thought it said ADIEU when in fact it says BODIED, and when set against Chuck's head it looked very much like a tombstone, or at least I was told so. Sorry for the confusion, I'll try harder next time to be clearer about my message. Also, yes, I know you're not supposed to give grapes to dogs, I promise he didn't eat any, although he wasn't interested in them anyway as they weren't made out of cow.
5. It's a tradition around here to open comments on the birthday of the website, so I thought I'd mix things up a bit this year and turn it into a contest. What should my March tagline be? Winner, as chosen by the official panel of judges (me), gets a $50 iTunes gift card.
Go.
1. koz said:
I survived the first (X) months with Coco and all I got was a carpet full of poop.
2. Ulla Lauridsen said:
As ever. Whaddityathink?
3. kate said:
How about "Dooce: I drink your milkshake! I DRINK IT UP!"
4. Maria said:
How about: With all the best intentions
5. marcilambert said:
"serving up country ribs daily"
6. Anonymous said:
You should really have a meet up sometime here in Salt Lake. I know there's got to be tons of locals out there who would love to meet you!
7. kate said:
Oh, and you could add a pic of Chuck balancing a milkshake on his head.
8. Ciara said:
March tagline should be: Let me tell you what's reaalllly in that coco butter...
9. dooce said:
I'm actually going to do some local SLC book signings when the fatherhood anthology comes out in April or May. Stay tuned for the details!
10. Christina said:
If it smells like poop, thats because it is.
11. lesaleigh said:
My suggestion for March's tagline is my mantra through the end of each miserable winter: "The average high temperature in March is 58 degrees." (That is according to Weather.com, for Louisville, KY.) With my last round of law school finals coming up, the dream of warmer weather is just about the only thing getting me by. Good luck with the small dog, your tenacity and patience are far stronger than my own!
12. Rachel E. said:
"In Like a Lion, Out Like Chuck"
13. Jordan said:
Dooce: Ignoring your unsolicited advice since 2001
14. Anonymous said:
A picture of you getting hit in the head with a brick labeled life. No, not actually getting hit in the head. You know what I mean.
15. RK said:
When I was younger, I threw strawberry jam on people I didn't like.
16. Deb Mct Master said:
Kay, how about this, Marching poop monster coming soon to your living room...
17. Heather said:
My dog pooped in the car once while driving home from the dog park. She was about 4 months old. My husband thought it was hilarious, but that was most likely because he was not in the car to experience it.
"Pooping anywhere other than in the car is unthinkable"
18. Betsey said:
You should make the masthead include something about the ides of march and feature Chuck wearing a grimreaper hood and possibly also include something with a sicle (sp?) and flowers to address spring and growth. That would be cool.
19. Kiala said:
How about
Dooce: Funnier than Face of the Cookie
or
Dooce: Only Poops in Your Car Every Other Day
20. Anonymous said:
'It's my website and I'll write what I want to".
21. Esther said:
Yay, I'm going to be there. Maybe I won't be shy and I'll come say hi.
22. Anonymous said:
Um, "Drink your milkshake" is played out. 3 months ago wants their joke back.
Were people that dumb re: thinking Chuck was dead? And they have enough time on their hands to email you about it? I heard that Paul was dead bc he was barefoot on Abbey Road. Chuck is a dog; He's always barefoot! OMG! Is Chuck the living dead?
23. BD said:
pic of Coco (its her turn to star on the masthead) with the tagline "a great website...for me to poop on."
24. Juliness said:
What really made me laugh was the story of the guy in the karaokae bar who, after asking if people knew you and being rewarded by blank stares - said, "Don't you people go on the internet?"
Now that's a tagline.
25. Amanda said:
Yours for the bargain price of four livers and half a kidney.
27. Katrina said:
How about
Old and moldy, but still worth the read.
Not to suggest that you or anyone in your family is old or moldly, but merely that 7 is a long ass time for a website to be around :P
28. Josh said:
No great tag lines for you, but a few great Austin coffee shops for you...
Progress
Little City
Dominican Joe's
Hope SXSW goes well!
29. Anonymous said:
Dooce: With a hint of "eau de dog poo" scent
30. Shelly said:
Coco-Cabana!
31. c3str said:
"From constipation to perpetual puppy pooping with regular stops in between."
"Poop: from one extreme, to the other."
Or something even more witty that bridges the gap between chronic constipation and perpetual puppy pooping.
32. Lisa said:
Dooce: Better than a car full of dog poop
33. Gord said:
Borrow shamelessly from Dan Jenkins:
"Life Its Ownself"
GLO
34. Anonymous said:
Green With Anticipation
35. trish said:
The Writer's Block, and Chuck should be balancing a big block on his head.
36. Michael M/ said:
Its probably a little too passe to have it be FIRST! LOLZ!
so I'm going with "Four out of five of us dont shit on the floor"--or some permutation
OR
"Dooce: Best dressed Disney Princess since Hocas Pontas". WITH a requisite picture of Chuck 'balancing' a tiara on his head.
37. Anonymous said:
"it sucked and then i cried. the end."
no line you've written has been more perfect than that.
38. Nicole said:
"America's newest snack idea!"
39. Jado said:
"She pooped in the car. WHILE WE WERE DRIVING."
41. Melissa said:
"Poop, it's not just for your inbox anymore."
42. Desneeze said:
Where Poop Lives Forever
43. Julia said:
"All my Stuff is in the new thing."
44. patti said:
how 'bout "March-ing Toward The Dog Days of Summer"
45. Kristine said:
Dooce tagline for March: putting up pictures of coco in Daily Chuck...just to piss you off!
and/or so you'll send me hate mail.
46. Jennybean said:
"Country ribs today, bath tomorrow."
47. MontanaJen said:
"Drugs for Everyone!"
48. Laura said:
I was going to suggest one...but I think I want to vote for Jordan's instead!
Dooce: Ignoring your unsolicited advice since 2001
is brilliant.
My suggestion was:
Dooce: One household under Dog
maybe with a pic of Coco hunched over midpoop. Yes, gross, but funny. and you don't have to put the poop in the picture.
49. Anonymous said:
How about, "Boring the shit out of everyone for seven long years."
50. Dawn said:
"When the going gets tough, the tough get another dog."
51. Brooke said:
I love the "couple" pictures of Chuck and Coco. So I think there should be a cute pic of the two of them with the simple words:
Coco *hearts* Chuck
:-)
52. Chad said:
how about Dooce: An Advocate of Teenage Pregency in Fairy Princesses since 2008
53. Courtney said:
Tagline: The American Dream: Princesses, Prozac and poop.
54. Rob said:
You're only young once, but you can poop in a car forever.
55. AT said:
How about dooce: making circles out of squares.
i don't really know what it means, but i like it.
56. Most Evil Twin said:
Title: Stuff. And maybe some Things.
57. Brooke said:
P.S. Are you promoting your book in Dallas, too?!
58. janny226 said:
Delurking to suggest "Dooce: Sass with Sauce."
59. kate said:
Jordan's (#13) all the way. (sorry, I know I don't get to vote, but that's just so perfect.)
By the way, aren't we do for some Hate Mail love?
61. Elizabeth said:
Coco,a paradox: cute and smelly
60. Carrie said:
"Coco, Caca. What a difference one letter makes."
62. Chair said:
Seven years, bitch.
63. BB said:
Dooce: Piranha on the neck of the status quo!
64. Jennifer said:
Dooce: All that and a bag of bacon.
65. Candace said:
I don't think it looks like "adieu"-- I wouldn't worry. Also it doesn't really look like grapes on his head so much... more like a fancy headpiece as designed by Armani. Watch out for Katie Holmes. She might steal it right off his moody head.
66. Anonymous said:
March: Comes in like a lion and eats everything it sees.
Or...a picture of coco walking like the Greatful Dead's doda man with, "Keep on poopin'."
That human tester is a pain...I ignored it and now I have to redo all my work.
67. Ellen said:
March: In like Coco, out like Chuck.
68. junewell said:
How about "puppy-whipped"
69. Anonymous said:
Pooping along since 2001
70. Belinda said:
I'd rather have a crate of coco poops.
71. Joy said:
Dooce: Talking poop since 2001
72. Ciara said:
"Two Great Things That Taste Great Together" with a picture of Coco hanging off Chuck's neck.
Have fun in Austin, I love that City!
73. koz said:
Oh, "The Seven-Year Bitch."
No, really, #13 is awesome.
74. Bluestalking Reader said:
As it's the month of St. Patrick's day, and since it's food-related and we all know how Chuck feels about food, how about:
Magically Delicious
(Lucky Charms guy = leprechaun = St. Patrick's Day = the reason the Irish hate us)
75. Ferris said:
Ahem:
"You're soaking in it."
"The straw that stirs the drink."
"More Cowbell since 2001."
"Shot a man in Reno. Just to watch him die."
"Digesting the child within."
Thank you.
76. GoGo said:
Happy Anniversary! I do appreciate this page. Cheers to your humor, honesty about depression, kid rearing and dog poop. The necessities in life really.
What about,
"Aye, we ain't Candadians."
or
"Just as good as green beer" or "Better than Green beer"
OR
March: Will spring come before winter breaks me down...stay tuned and find out"
Damn, I am not good at this stuff...going back to my hole now.
~GoGo
77. EvilScienceChick said:
Dooce: the pooper scooper
Dooce: feeds grapes to your dog
Dooce: built an ark in the snow
not sure what that last one means, but it sounds so deep, doesn't it?
oh, and I HAVE FED MY DOG GRAPES!!! OMGWTFBBQ!!!1!!!!
78. Anonymous said:
I love the one mentioned above:
Tagline: The American Dream: Princesses, Prozac and poop.
79. Emily said:
Coco-nuts
80. Allison said:
How about: "We didn't call it Dooce for nothing" with a picture of Coco or the poopy pawprints? You could even do something funky with pawprints in the masthead. It must have been traumatic, but what a hilarious story! (That painting is gorgeous, BTW!)
81. Jen said:
I like Rachel E's but I'd slightly alter it to "In like Coco, out like Chuck"
82. Lisa V said:
We celebrate madness full year round, not just in March.
83. Amanda said:
I have to go with #13: Dooce: Ignoring your unsolicited advice since 2001
That's AWESOME!!!
84. elle said:
"Dooce: just the tip"
85. Larkhappy said:
Bringing poop to the masses...
This is from Crank Yankers. It's Wanda Sykes talking about a turd in the backseat of her car.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ytSn-jcryQY
86. BlO said:
"Dooce.com: Irritating the humorless masses since 2001"
or
"Celebrating seven years of functional insanity"
87. Anonymous said:
Tagline:
#1
"A Dog is for Life, Not just for Christmas"
--slogan for Nat'l Canine Defense League
With a huge picture of Coco chewing on a miserable Chuck.
88. Kristine said:
#56 is better than #13
89. Chloe said:
Dooce: Not effing Matt Damon nor Ben Affleck
90. Paula said:
Because I Can.
91. Heather said:
I've got to vote for #60! Hilarious.
92. Kate said:
Coco Furrocious: Album drops this March
Dooce: Like a trail of poopy paw prints through my mind
Dooce: A huge, messy misunderstanding
93. Shea said:
Dooce: Talking dirty to Mormans since 2001.
or
Dooce: Where we accumulate dog feces more than the rest.
94. Jacqueline said:
March masthead should be "Blogging for America's Cubicle Workers"
Heather, you make my computer prettier at work. Thanks so much!
95. Anonymous said:
I'd like it if you used "Wiener poopie."
96. Koobs said:
Long time reader, first time commenter. I couldn't resist.
Dooce: Where love and poo meet.
Dooce: The spring edition, flowers and puppies and poo oh my.
97. Kristine said:
No, forget it... not 56 or 13... 89 is hysterical.
98. John said:
Easy going down but stings a little on the way out.
99. heather said:
attracting anonymous commenters who provide blog fodder
100. Dorky Rooster said:
Dooce: Pickles. Mormons. Scorn.
101. Ami said:
Shoeless and Cheeto-fingered since...
102. LN said:
Dooce: The internet's neck piranha
103. Stephanie Lim said:
My nominations:
"YEEAW! YEEAW! YEEAWING! since 2001."
"I'd give you half of my liver and a kidney."
"Giving vital organs since 2001."
"Dooce: the words you blog when you haven't slept in six weeks."
"Tracking poop-prints and site hits since 2001."
Cheers!
104. Shea said:
Dooce: Where vagabond canines will always have a home.
105. Jill said:
COCOLICIOUS!
106. myl said:
Beware the Ides of Coco........
107. Jodi said:
"Wake me up before you Co-Co"
108. Therese said:
Getting ferociously pooped on since Christmas 2007
Man are you gonna have fun with the suggestions people come up with. There has been an awful lot of poop in your life this passed month, and I imagine most of them will have to do with that.
Hee.
109. Anonymous said:
Huffin' and Puffin' since 2001.
110. Pete Dunn said:
"Getting Dooced Isn't The Worst Thing That Can Happen To A Person"
111. ellner said:
All the MILF that's fit to print!
112. Courtney said:
Dooce: Where we know what Country Ribs are.
113. Heather said:
how about:
"I'm f***king Matt Damon AND Ben Affleck"
Have you seen those videos? They're hilarious!
114. Beth said:
I hope when Chuck goes you will bid him more than a medium adieu.
115. ScottR said:
"FREE DOG CRAP!!
Now that I've got your attention...."
116. Andrea said:
I'm feeling inspired by this post and think you should go with:
Made out of Cow: 100% edible
117. Melissa said:
Here are my suggestions:
"Under Seige of the Nutburger" or "Why do I want to kill her?"
Loving the site, as usual - I pull it up each and every day!
118. Pete Dunn said:
Please Bless This Bacon That It Will Nourish And Strengthen Our Bodies. inthenameofjesuschristamen.
119. Anonymous said:
"Living the dream. Salt Lake City, March 2008"
"Not quite like a martini, but close."
or #13 (bravo!)
120. Anonymous said:
Something to do with Chuck being a 'Plastic Paddy'
121. kalisa said:
do you think you might come back to memphis for a book signing? We feel a little silly here that we let you get away BEFORE you went and got all famous & shit.
122. Robin said:
How about "Kiss Me I'm Mormon"
123. Patty said:
My votes are for #13 or #86. (although so many great ones here, people)
How about: "Thinking 'anonymous' is an asshole since 2001".
124. Kathleen said:
"like strapping a giant rubber band to your face"
125. kristen said:
Smelling puppy butts since 2001.
I mean that in a respectful fashion, of course.
126. Kristen said:
Poop happens.
127. Tamara said:
Dooce is Mom Jeans.
128. Anonymous said:
Making Noses Crinkle for 8 Years
129. Lorie said:
Pissing all over the Internet since 2001
130. Staci said:
Can't beat Jordan's idea although I love what Bio said too.
Congrats on the anniversary.
131. lisa said:
could you please have a naming contest more than once a year? dooce readers are almost as clever as the dooce herself!
or, a "stuff on chuck's head" contest?
132. Kathleen said:
"The Audacity of Poop"
133. Gail said:
Poop: It's what's for dinner.
Dooce: Loving the hate mail since 2001
Dooce: Not to be confused with giving a shit.
134. dregina said:
"Madder than a March Hare"
135. Molly said:
How about "Dooce: Now With Puppy Poop Polka Dots."
136. MetroDad said:
"Melts in your mouth, not in your hands"
"Can you hear me now?"
"Yes we can"
"No animals were harmed during the writing of this blog."
"Pull my finger."
137. Gail said:
One more.
Dooce: It's like your mom, only better.
138. Seattleite said:
October is Depression Awareness Month, but in light of Jon's courageous posts yesterday and today, I suggest:
Dooce: Brought to you by the power of SSRIs.
139. Anne said:
"We Don't Eat Poopy"
140. nassin2 said:
Welcome to Club Coco Loco........
141. Poodles said:
Coco Vs. Chuck: The Showdown!
142. Marla said:
Well, though I'd vote for #13 too, I'm throwing my hat in the ring with "Cuckoo for Coco Poops", because that $50 iTunes gift card would buy me a lot of David Hasselhoff singles. I hear "Hot Shot City" is particularly good.
143. Zreekee said:
Masthead: "ARRR, blow me down Matey!"
dress Chuck up as a pirate and Coco as his first mate or parrot.
I got this idea cuz March is usually a windy month, and pirates are cool.
I can just imagine the cuteness of Chuck and Coco dressed up!
144. kirida said:
Dooce: if you think this is a feminine hygiene product, you're saying it incorrectly.
145. Kirsten said:
How about:
"Magically Delicious"
**with a picture of Coco gnawing on Chuck's neck, Chuck has his trademark long-suffering gaze, and he is balancing Lucky Charms on his head**
146. kim said:
Suggestion for Masthead:
"In Like a Lion (picture of ferocious Chuck) out like a Lamb (picture of Calm sleeping Coco)"
On second thought it might have to be "lioness" coco, and "lambesque" Chuck. :)
147. stacey said:
"freshly-squeezed dooce"
148. Ashley said:
how about "The Raveonettes are fucking sweet"
because...they are...sweet...?
149. lyz said:
One simple word:
pw3nd
150. Kristina said:
Dooce: Much Different Than Life On A Beach With A Margarita...
151. thejunebug said:
marinated in the bathtub for extra flavor
152. Brenda said:
"YEEAW! YEEAW! YEEAWING!"
153. Paul said:
March: No dumbbells in here baby, just my dogs.
154. gijyun said:
"Getting fired for blogging = the American Dream, 7 years and counting."
155. Becky said:
March: The great shit thaw of 2008 begins!
156. Anonymous said:
Been there.... done WHAT?!
157. Melissa said:
"I can't breathe!"
158. Tracy said:
"My gosh, something like that's gotta be safe in your yard. It wasn't. It wasn't."
159. Mama2ETC said:
Being Irish, I suggest two of my favorite Irish-isms:
May there by eyes in your heads and none in your spuds.
or
What butter and whiskey won't cure, there is no cure for.
and I'm sure there must be something about a house being lucky if a dog poops in it!
160. Dina said:
I love #144!
And Marla- thanks for the diet coke spray all over my monitor- the DH comment was too funny!
161. Michelle said:
Two of these household members are animals. Guess.
162. JSauce said:
"Now with Coco pebbles."
"Elegant as a turd in your car"
"Bringing the weiner poopie since 2001"
163. Surfie said:
Dooce: An intravenous vacation.
164. Colleen said:
Love your blog, the people who go off on you are hysterical. Not sure why they think you care. =)
I don’t have an idea for your new blog tag line but I think Coco needs to be renamed the Little Dooce Poop. (Beach Boys for the younguns)
165. Jady said:
several choices
Dooce: No, Winter, Eff YOU.
Dooce: Secretly considering the weather a personal insult
Dooce: As played by Rachel McAdams
Dooce: The Musical!
166. Stephanie said:
I vote for "Dooce - Taking 'Riding Dirty' to a Whole New Level". Love your website!
167. Also Kate said:
"Ascending to madness since 2001"
"Year Seven: Still kicking ass and taking names"
"Mostly constipated seven years running!"
"Prozac is just how we roll"
168. Krystl said:
How about "Brain made out of Skittles"
I thought that line was absolutely fantastic. Also, I second "The Seven-Year Bitch."
169. beth said:
My dog pooped in the car a couple of months ago. She is six (years, not months). Then we got stopped at the draw bridge so I couldn't get out and stangle her infront of an audience and she had twenty minutes to grind it in to my upholstrey while I gasped for fresh air. Super Fun.
Tagline "Spring Fresh Scent" with a picture of a poopy pawprint.
Love your site!
170. Heather said:
"Cultivating Crap Since 2001"
Of course I mean that in a good way.
171. Dawn H said:
"It is what it is"
172. Sara said:
"Dooce: The best way to kill time at work since 2001."
173. Courtney said:
Dooce: Cuckoo for Coco-poops!
(I refer you to the wikipedia website, 4th paragraph. Only because puppies can drive the best of us crazy.)
174. Sarah said:
"What you really really want"
Shamelessly borrowing from the Spice Girls
175. BrutallyHonestBabes said:
Dooce: The Puppy Path of Poo Leads Here.
* Hundreds of comments about poop. That's why I keep coming back.
176. Anonymous said:
Dooce...like a wild March hare up your ass
What's the link to John's blog?
177. MizFit said:
Im F*CKING exhausted. Why didnt people tell me having a toddler would be like this?
(MizFit is an austinite. best coffee in austin? My kitchen. 430 am. 30 min before aforementioned toddler awaketh)
178. Eric said:
"Everyday, trying."
179. BoatSailor said:
- Coco-Chucks ~ No milk required...
- Happiness is: Poopy Puppy Tracks.
- Bored? Get a puppy.
180. Becky said:
Puppies and Prozac and Poop! Oh, my!
181. jen said:
a melange of disney and fecal matter:
Where Poop Comes Alive!
or
Compulsively Obsessing
182. Jett said:
MARCH: You're kidding.....RIGHT?
183. Bertha said:
"Dooce: A constant, fluid painting of contrast"
I know you JUST used that line like 5 minutes ago, but I love it nonetheless.
184. gitz said:
Constipated since 2001; wish the dog was.
185. Michele said:
Dooce
Where poo springs eternal.
or
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs.
186. Anonymous said:
"I was born seven"
187. Anonymous said:
Hmmmm ...Cuckoo for Coco Shat? Nevermind ...I really suck at this kind of thing.
Congrats on 7 years!
188. koz said:
Jon = www.blurbomat.com
189. Meghan said:
Dooce -- but you have options
190. Johnny said:
"Follow the poop-prints to DOOCE"
191. Shaina said:
aww, people stole my idea lol. i vote for any of the "in like a lion"-esque ones! in like a chuckacabra, maybe?
192. Chasinash said:
Dooce: Try our chicken-fried poo
Dooce: Rest in piece
[as in piece of crap, and also in reference to the idiots who thought chuck died]
Dooce: That's not a Cadbury Egg
[Easter theme]
193. Melissavina said:
masthead lines:
Things that come to mind
still crazy after all these years
two people. two dogs. one princess.
Too much poop to manage
194. Meg said:
"...and it's still hurting, Charlie!"
195. Bev said:
"People just don't know how to stick it out anymore"
Great wisdom from a wise old aunt given 30 years ago and I'm still sticken it out!
196. foxylady said:
kookoo for coco
197. Ben said:
Saving the internet, one shot at a time.
198. Allison said:
"Take another hit on the poop bong"
(I have no idea where this came from!)
PS- I love your site.
199. Jen said:
I like the play on the old march phrase but maybe...
"In like a Chuck, Out like a Coco" or vice versa with a pic of both pups ;)
200. Pamela said:
I say either, "I'm kind of a big deal," or "Church of Cesar Millan."
201. Pattie said:
Here goes:
"Now with more Coco!"
"100% Preservatives"
"The land of princesses. And poop."
"Dooce: The FUN in dysFUNctional"
202. Sarah A said:
If this were easy then something would be wrong.
and
Las cosas mas raras pasan asi, de pronto.
(Which is from the Almodovar movie Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown and basically means that the strangest things happen when you least expect them, which usually ends up being right then and there.)
(Happy Birthday!!)
203. cassie said:
1. Not allowing badgers to gnaw off my face. (toyota commercial)
2. It's easy to outrun lava. (via CNN)
3. My rifle, my pony, and me. (dean martin song)
204. Anonymous said:
Good Lord... I can see why you don't always open comments. Yikes. What's with all the poop suggestions? I read your posts, I know the deal. But man, come up with something original people!
I like #62. It's perfect.
205. Colleen said:
Dooce: Now with more poop than ever before
Dooce: Sleep is for sissies
206. Christina said:
Oh gosh something about poop and coco....because it is sooo all about poop right now! what about somedays you step in it somedays you dont....then it would so be about chuck....because who can forget that he stepped IN HIS OWN POOP!
207. sarah said:
Time for the Coco Smackdown!
208. Slonik said:
1. Always do whatever's next.
2. Poop. There is either too much of it, or not enough.
3. Security advisory system current threat level: YELLOW. Significant risk of poop attacks and meltdowns.
4. Poopy paw prints paint pretty patterns.
5. It's a dooce thing. You wouldn't understand.
209. Leonie said:
May I suggest "Dooce: I'd give you half my liver, too."?
There's nothing quite like a line taken completely out of context to cheer March up.
That'd be even better with a picture of either of the puppies eating some liver, or other meat from that general area, of course. Just think of the shocked emails you'll receive after *that* one.
210. Jennifer said:
Shimmy, Shimmy, Coco, Chuck.
211. Brittany said:
"Green beer, doggie poop, and country ribs . . . can't compete with that"
"Puppies and 4 year-olds . . . the perfect combination for Mommy needs a drink"
"St. Patrick's Day- a reason to drink that does not include puppies or children"
"Slow cooked in the bathtub . . . Country ribs, not the dogs"
Just some ideas :) Happy anniversary
212. Blythe said:
Just because the last tagline WASN'T about Chuck doesn't mean this next month's should be. I shall be quite wroth with you if it is. But I shall continue to read, of course.
I like the 'unsolicited advice' one. I cast my mostly meaningly vote in that pot.
213. Sarah Lena said:
Beware the Ides of Dooce.
214. Debbie said:
Dooce: Not quite a Hippo but it'll do.
215. Anonymous said:
dooce: Where the road ends with poop and begins with poop
216. Tammy said:
The internet-neck-piranha one really wins, but here's a couple more:
"The Chuck is Dead - Long Live the Chuck"
"Chomping Your Jugular is How I Show You I Care"
and
"Dooce: Yes, Indeed, You DO Smell Something...."
217. Karen said:
March: a constant, fluid, painting of contrasts
218. Sparkle said:
how about:
chuck ~ alive and well with a hint of coco about the neck
219. Ben said:
I thought of several more that might fit;
Read, comment, repeat as needed.
Alcoholism in the heart of Mormonism.
Encouraging the beard, year after year.
220. mish said:
if the spider house or room or whatever is still open it would be an awesome place for a meet up. And they sell beer! Have fun.
hee-hee, my words are unitarian house :]
221. k-m-s said:
I better get moving - there were 75 new posts in the time it took me to read the first 150!
I'm not clever, but I'm voting for 80, 13 and 56 in that order.
222. Billl said:
Dooce: In the Library, with the Lead Pipe.
223. Anonymous said:
As I just watched a prescription ad with a million disclaimers...
masthead:
Warning: May Inflame Your Sinuses
or
May Cause Anal Seepage
224. Lauren said:
Dooce: In my spare time.
225. Karen said:
March Madness:
Cleaning up after Coco
226. sarah said:
"a dooceie of a twosie"
227. Karen said:
"Striving for appropriate pooping"
"Now 80% housetrained"
228. Mia said:
"Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids."
"Dooce, leaving the rabbit out of it since 2001"
229. HappyKap said:
Coco Chanel No. 2
230. Beth said:
Dooce: Pooping In The Car Since 2008.
231. Jennine said:
Crate Training The Internet Daily
232. Ben said:
So I know I already submitted a couple ideas, but I also want to assure you that if chosen as the winner, I will spend at least half of the iTunes gift card on American Idol and Britney Spears downloads.
233. Pammer said:
A personal fave I'll give to you royalty free:
What are you, new?
234. scargosun said:
OMG! I wish I had something funny to say but I am an amatuer compared to most of the suggestions. #144 is my fave though.
235. Stacie said:
well I live in Ireland...so...
Green beer and Mcflurries, because we can.
236. Jennifer said:
How about:
"Dooce: The piss on your pillow"
237. Anonymous said:
- "Aspirations of Ex-communication"
- "Fiercer than Tyra, Bitchier than Simon"
- "Unsanctioned Rantings About Life"
- "FREE Poopy Pawprints*
*Car turds extra"
- "BYOSSRI: Bring Your Own Select Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors"
238. Amy said:
I wish I had time to read the other comments, but I don't.
Here is a sacreliscious line (Easter coming up and all). Something along the lines of:
"The dogs have risen: Let the shit begin!"
(That prize is sooo good too... I'm happy for whomever gets it, because my I know that iPod keeps me sane on many of my days.)
Love ya! Love your work.
Take care,
Amy
239. Crawforn said:
I'd say the following are kicking a$$: #13, #89 & #154!
1)I heard someone say this and it cracked me up..."Doesn't that suck the hind teet!" Maybe you could work with that, like "Mormons can suck the hind teet!"
2)Living the American Dream for 7 years & counting...someone taser me already!
3)Need another "hit"?! Dooce ~ your on-line addiction!
240. ashleyd said:
"douchbaggery at it's best"
241. Miranda said:
March: when puppies bloom into housetrained human friends.
242. LizAndrsn said:
Dooce: Where Leprechan's Taste Funny.
It's March. Whatta ya want?
243. MEE said:
"Fine Purveyor of Murderous Fonts"
244. Trish said:
spinning shit into gold since 2001
245. Anonymous said:
i think you have to say #238 austin powers style.
"SACRILICIOUS, BABY!!"
sorry.
246. Robin said:
Dooce: Pooping a rainbow
247. Lauren said:
Oh, I just thought of one. My friends and I picked up a sign language book at a library sale last year that's supposed to teach you useful phrases. One of the ones we found in there was "Mommy's drunk again." If I had kids, I feel like that would be the tagline of my website.
248. Laura B said:
The Princess of Bacon
249. whitney said:
At least YOU didn't poop in the car.
250. Kayla said:
Heather,
Happy, happy birthday to the website. I absolutely LOVE your writing and looking at the pics of the pups is my morning crack. You're an amzing photographer, they always look like perfect little dolls - you'd never suspect the mischief Coco has been up too!
251. Chookooloonks said:
From this post: "THE TRUEST WORDS EVER WRITTEN." In all caps. Like that.
*sigh*
I'll keep thinking.
252. Lindsay said:
Marching to a different drum.. a very, VERY different drum. ;)
253. MFREE said:
"Will be funny for $50"
254. Stacy D. said:
"An Open Can of Wasatch Valley Whoop-ass" or "Awaiting the backyard treasures the spring thaw is sure to bring"
hee hee. My husband is an ex-Ogden-ite, ex-Mormon, grad of Weber State woo hoo. I've brought him to civilization and lots of car honking here in Chicago.
Stacy D.
255. amy said:
Face down in a memory but feeling alright
like roseanne cash/seven year ache?
you rock it gal
256. Natalie said:
I really love #56. Now that is funny!
257. Katherine said:
# 13 says it all
258. Genevieve said:
... Because poop in a car never smelled so good...
259. Cass said:
I have a few suggestions:
- Other bloggers want to be me when they grow up.
- You think you know, but you have no idea (like on that True Life show I'm sadly addicted to on MTV)
- Barking for all the right reasons.
260. michele said:
Steamier than fresh poop
Congrats!
261. Anonymous said:
Dooce: Skidmarked
262. chandra said:
"I love deadlines, I love the sound they make as they whizz by" - Douglas Adams.
though they say Douglas Adams said a lot of things, so i'm not 100% sure of the author of that wonderful line!
for the mast head:
making people snort dooce everyday
263. Dana Probert said:
My favorite quote on writing, that I found last year when we finished "Mastering AutoCAD Civil 3D 2008" (snooze, right?) is from Winston Churchill:
"Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public. "
We got iPods engraved with "For Killing the Monster" to commemorate the completion of the book. Perhaps that will inspire you. Good Luck! -Dana
264. Coyote said:
Dooce: Much more satisfying than simply feeling fresh.
Balancing precariously on the toilet seat of life.
Good for licking since 2001.
All the latest poop. Right here. Right now.
265. Shelly said:
"She's a perfectly modern gal, a gorgeous mess of neuroses and contradictions"
So as not to plagarize, its a phrase I liked from this article: http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/CouplesandMarriage/ArticleMC.aspx...
266. Jesse Gray said:
"I hate writing, I prefer to have written." Paraphrased from Orwell. I think.
267. Lisa said:
In like a coco. Out like a poop.
268. Anonymous said:
"Same as the other guys...only HOT"
269. Becca said:
"because Joseph Smith said not to."
270. Kimba said:
Cuckoo for Coco-Poops
271. Kate said:
Poop - There was a reason we call her Coco.
272. Trisha said:
March is Women's History Month
"Dooce! More Fun Than An Unexpected Period"
273. Graygirl said:
Dooce: The new black
274. Megan said:
"Ready for Spring Break"
275. shakespearecub said:
How about:
Rejecting and Denouncing since 2001
276. Anonymous said:
In the infamous words of Paul Simon, "Still crazy after all these years..." Or, in the not so infamous words of Brenda from Wisconsin, "Still bitter after all these years..."
277. Kate said:
coco poop - better than new car smell
278. sharon said:
LOVE the dog leash thing. MY youngest dog is on a leash all the time.. she wont leave my older dog alone. The young one is a 3 yr old pitbull mix.. the older one is a13 and and australian cattle dog mix.. the leash is the only way we can control the excitement level.
that being said your site is the bomb I love opening your pictures!!! they are so awesome!
279. raindrop74 said:
Voting for 124, 98, 56 & 93.
And here are mine:
Dooce: Barfeet, Biscuits & BBQ Sauce
Dooce: Spreading it since 2001
Dooce: Like a charlie horse in the groin.
280. JLJ said:
Happy Birthday to Heather's website!
How about "Poop in a Car. The Truest Words Ever Uttered."
No. Just kidding. Ha. Well, kind of.
or
"Dooce: True Words Not Made From A Cow"
Sigh. Not making any sense today. I think I need more sleep but the new baby prevents it, often just by being really cute but mostly by being very hungry.
281. Alyson said:
Lady Coco - Queen of Poo & Pee
King Chuck - King of everything else (including Dooce)
282. Keith said:
"Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public."
--Winston Churchill
I don't have a cheeky masthead idea, but probably something life affirming for Chuck's sake: "alive and licking..."
283. Kate said:
No Shit!
284. magpie said:
Dooce: No room for me, no fun for you.
Dunno why, other than I'm listening to David Bowie right now and it seemed appropriate. Love you by the way. Heaps!
285. Kandace said:
Marinating in the Bathtub
286. Angelina said:
Dooce < Coco = poop
'cause some of us feel like a poop and some of us don't...
287. Ryan said:
"Dooce: It beats having shit in your backseat."